I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough....

Jul 22, 08 12:36

Post #1 of 15 (2972 views)

Hi all,
I am a new poster to this board. I have been doing tri's (mostly IM distance) for over 10 years. I haven't trained as consistently over the past 3-4 years (job changes, life, etc.) so I have gotten slower. Nor have I placed anywhere near the top of my AG in ages. I am more of a mid-packer. About 6 months ago I started to work out with a group of really talented athletes....way more talented than me! I didn't grow up doing sports nor did I run/swim or do anything in high school (or college) because I had to work. I guess my only talent is alot of endurance and I really enjoy the triathlon lifestyle and training and I have been fortunate to not have any significant injuries (knock on wood).

I am trying to be a good sport about another athlete who recently qualified for Kona (her first attempt at IM). I realize that she's alot younger than me (18-20 years), ran track and swam in high school and was born lucky (never any misfortunes and I have heard her whole life story and it's pretty darn near perfect) but it's frustrating to be surrounded by talented, fast athletes. I feel like giving up sometimes or training alone again. I feel embarrassed that my race results are mediocre for the most part (I have gotten faster at some shorter races but no where near placing in my AG). There are other women who are slower than me in the group (they don't do the group workouts). It's just really frustrating to try to qualify year after year and then someone comes along who qualifies on their first attempt......

:-(

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]

Jul 22, 08 13:16

Post #2 of 15 (2934 views)

Kat

Look at the numbers in her age group. I'll bet you it takes you a better time to qualify than it does her. I'm making an assumption on your age based on the 10 years of Tri you stated. Those 30 - 45 age groups are brutal......I'd place in several events I do if I was in an 18 - 29 bracket. Now I'm comparing that to male too but I'm willing to bet the female brackets are pretty compareable.

Now, given the time I had to train when I was 20......damn, if I could go back. 60hr a week job, wife, kids, household,......

Hang in there....take the high road, help her train.....your day will come!

Hurry Up Every Chance You Get

(formerly LuctorEtEmergo)

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]

Jul 22, 08 13:16

Post #3 of 15 (2934 views)

I'm with ya in that I train with much more talented athletes than I. What is has come down to for me is that I care about them as individuals and am genuinely excited when the do well even if my performance sucked. I always find something I'm happy with in my race whether it is a faster transition or a faster bike split. My last race I did the slowest swim of my life, had no measurable improvement on the bike but rocked the run so overall I'm really excited about it. On the opposite end of the spectrum, on of the people I was staying with won overall amature female on only her second IM. Didn't take anything away from my enjoyment because I like her and like her company.

I think it comes down with being OK with what you've done and that is where you need to put in the work. It is rare to have a perfect race so take what you can from the results and realize you aren't as fast as her and be OK with it. There is always someone faster.

You will also find that the people you want to spend time with are the ones who don't care what your time was only how you felt about the race.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [jenhs] [ In reply to ]

Jul 22, 08 13:24

Post #4 of 15 (2918 views)

Yes..... Her age group the times for qualifying are slower than my age group!!! Plus, she had about half the number of women in her AG than mine usually is. My AG has alot of former pro's, people who have alot of experience, etc. It is just frustrating.....

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]

Jul 22, 08 14:49

Post #5 of 15 (2848 views)

compete for you....and noone else.

I'm injured now and face the prospect of not doing ultras or IM races again (I am totally BOP at both of them)....and the only advice or support I've gotten that has made sense and helped me is "we do this because its fun"

I don't know if that will help you...but I hope it does.

Go forth and frolic!!!!

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]

Jul 22, 08 21:24

Post #6 of 15 (2711 views)

You just can't compare yourself to others. There's always someone better out there. I learned to swim as an adult (still slow) and was attempting to swim with female friends who were collegiate swimmers. They would give me 50% of the yardage they were doing. I always felt inadequate, but they kept pointing out to me how much progress I was making and being positive. I also frequently cycle with women better than me. One in particular has become my favorite riding partner. She could ride with people lots more her level than me, but we have a good time together and it works. When I feel inadequate, I remind myself this is a hobby that is supposed to bring me happiness. The fact that you do this says so much about you that is strong and positive. We could all be sitting on the sofa eating bonbons and drinking beer, or charging up our credit cards with stuff we don't need. Instead we are part of the small minority of women who engage in endurance sports. Feel good about what you do and who you are. Jehns in particular I think conveys this message so well. I always enjoy her posts and relate to what she has to say. As cliched as it sounds, and as much as I would be thrilled to win something, I think I'm a winner every time I get out there and do something that is hard. Turn your thoughts around and enjoy what you are doing. I swear it works!

Last edited by: diva: Jul 23, 08 10:41

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]

Jul 23, 08 6:30

Post #7 of 15 (2634 views)

You are blessed and lucky to be able to train with such good athletes. Many people have trouble finding anyone to train with at all, and its very hard to find really hard-working, competitive people who can push you. I understand the jealousy thing. For example, some of my training partners (male and female) and I are jealous of our friends in better careers or with big-earning spouses who seem to get new toys every year, or can afford to go to Kona if they qualify (I'm close, but if it happens at IMC next year, the $$ won't be there so I won't go). It's hard not to be envious of youth (in your case) or $$ (my case) ... But resentment carries it too far. Don't let it affect your training. It's about you not them.

Last edited by: TBinMT: Jul 23, 08 6:32

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]

Jul 23, 08 6:51

Post #8 of 15 (2617 views)

You're doing this for fun. If it's not fun, don't do it. Otherwise, stop comparing yourself to people--that doesn't get you very far...whether it's in triathlon or in the "real world."

No one is perfect. And only ONE person can be the Best At Something. There is always someone faster, stronger, smarter, funnier, hotter, bigger, smaller, etc etc etc. Do your thing. Make friends, have fun, hang out. That's what the sport should be about--testing YOUR limits...not seeing if you can fit into someone else's.

mmm-mmm-Momo Charms
Handmade beverage charms, jewelry, and miscellanea
http://momocharms.wordpress.com

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]

Jul 23, 08 7:08

Post #9 of 15 (2609 views)

HTFU...

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]

Jul 23, 08 8:33

Post #10 of 15 (2557 views)

I'm just happy to be out there. We're so fortunate to even be able to do what we do; many folks can't and would love to, many think that they can't. I'm an MOPer and know I'll never qualify for Kona. My GF's 9 y/o son is vaguely aware of the Kona qualifing criteria. At IMLou last year, my race day started with a pretty good swim and deteriorated from there. At one point on the run he realized I wasn't doing well (even by my standards). He turned to his mom and said in all seriousness "Does this mean we're not going to Hawaii?" God love him... LOL. I'm grateful everyday I wake up and can swim, bike or run.... because I know there will come a time when I can't.

Last edited by: squid: Jul 23, 08 8:34

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]

Jul 23, 08 9:21

Post #11 of 15 (2520 views)

i guess i don't understand. you say that you haven't trained consistently in the last three or four years but that you've tried year after year to qualify for Kona. how do you reconcile those two statements?

ahimsa,

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]

Jul 23, 08 10:55

Post #12 of 15 (2454 views)

I get where you are coming from, my husband is a competitive triathlete who presently doesn't train regularly but still kicks my butt all over the place. The thing to remember about this situation is that people work hard over many years to get to that level of athleticism. You mentioned your friend was a swimmer and runner so that means many years of practice and dedication to sport. She has an advantage over you and she should, she worked for it!

This same scenario holds true for other hobbies, like music. People think musicians are blessed with talent and that it comes naturally for them but the reality is that hours and hours and HOURS of practice makes a musician. Dedication period.

Look at Dara Torres. You think swimmers aren't jealous of her? She completely applied all of her resources and herself to her goal, very few people are capable or willing to do that. Plus it's not appropriate for 99% of people to pursue that goal because we have to support our families and keep up with life in general. I admire her for taking it on and creating the perfect storm for herself to win.

As far as Kona qualifiers, I see up close what it takes to get there and say "no thanks!" and enjoy life beyond triathlon. Three cheers for those that take it on though!

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [TBinMT] [ In reply to ]

Jul 23, 08 11:21

Post #13 of 15 (2431 views)

Forgot to add the old cliche: "Don't compare ... Share." :-)

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [trailbait] [ In reply to ]

Jul 23, 08 11:23

Post #14 of 15 (2430 views)

I trained the past few years by following an on-line program and mostly training by myself or a close friend. I didn't hit it hard and it shows in my race results. I realize now that I was over-trained 90% of the time and did too much volume, not enough speed and training by myself was not helpful.

Re: I am trying to be a good sport but it's tough.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]

Jul 24, 08 7:47

Post #15 of 15 (2293 views)

18-20 is easier to place in AG, qualify etc. for the time being b/c there are not as many athletes competing. It definitely gets harder the older you get probably until about 50 or so. However the tide is changing b/c in the 3 years I've done triathlon the kids are getting younger and younger. There was a 12 y/o behind me in a pool swim a while back. Also most of the older ladies are of a different generation that didn't do tri's as young women. Don't worry there is always going to be someone out there faster than you. Good luck.

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I have failed at many things, but never in my desire to try again.

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