I think it is a law of nature that the second that you need to go out and do something (run, ride, etc) the weather will make it very hard... then again nothing more minid clearing than a long run in the rain... i like to imagine that I am a monk meditating at the bottom of a waterfall... good luck hope things look up soon

Bob,

Relationship maintenance is tough given your the geographical distance. It does feel like there may be some additional distancing going on from her side. Sounds to like you may be hesitant to name what's going on from your side. When the weather warms and you get that reflect time on your ride you might ask yourself is the relationship worth trying to grow? Do YOU want to try and make this work? Once you have that answer you're better prepared to continue the bridge-building. If you're willing to take the relationship seriously then she may reciprocate and ask herself similar questions. Hope the best for you!

Chappy

Women....you can't live with them, and you can't live without them....Nothing like a long ride to thrash out your frustrations, so I hope the weather clears. On second thought, go out and get drenched and cold and you may find that you've taken your mind completely off the issue.

Just remember the big picture. What may seem like an insurmountable problem right now may be just a blip on the screen in a week, a month, or a year. Don't get too caught up in the "now". Two examples: A few years ago my nephew decided that his woman problems coupled with possibly losing his drivers license made life no longer worth living. He was a college freshman. If he was still alive, I'm sure that he's say that it wasn't worth dying over.

The second, many years ago I too had girlfriend problems. I joined the Army to get it(military service) over with, since I wouldn't be able to see her. Well, by the time I was in basic training and going through hell on earth, she was just a distant memory. I still had a year in the jungles ahead of me, while life went on for her. Life has ended up being very good to me on every level, and I now have been married to a beautiful woman who is my best friend for 25 years, but it all looked pretty bleak back then, and a broken heart was not worth the risks I took.

Sorry to write a book, but you sound young and I thought immediately of my nephew.

Now I've got to go ride. It's only 45 out, but it's not raining. Good luck, and email me if I can be of help.

I live in one city and my wife lives in another, about 2 hrs apart. She just moved back to the states after taking a 6.5 month assignment in the UK. That was a mere 11hr trip to say hi. Distance is tough but doable if both people want it to work. And it is work. My somewhat expert advice after nearly 4 years of doing this is you guys need to sit down and have a chat about what each other expects out of the relationship and what you each expect of each other. Maybe she is swamped with school and just stressed out, maybe she resents your training, maybe one of you wants out and can't figure out how to bring it about. I can't stress enough that you need to communicate what your concerns are, and how you feel and be able to listen, not just hear what she says about her feeling etc.

---

Brian Stover USAT LII
Accelerate3 Coaching
Insta

thanks for the advice guys.... I will talk to her tomorrow since I won't be riding then either. (5-10 inches of snow) YUCK!

Here is a short and true story that always inspires me. . .

A woman I work with is Chinese. She grew up in China during the cultural revolution. When she was 13 they closed all of the schools and her family moved from a house to a cave and did subsistence farming. She dreamt of going to college but the schools did not open up again until she was 18. She started in college without completing high school yet graduated in four years. During that time she married a classmate. At the conclusion of undergrad her husband had an opportunity to study in the USA--- He went to the USA for 2 years to get his MS while she stayed in China. Once he was back, she had an opportunity to get her PhD in the USA so she went to the USA and he stayed back in China. At the conclusion of her PhD, she had a job offer in the USA and he had a PhD opportunity here so they were finally united permanently in the USA after a good 6 years of essentially not seeing each other. They have two kids now and their oldest daughter is in her second year at Harvard.

She sits close to me and she looks like an absolutely ordinary and happy woman. You would have no idea from speaking to her that she had lived that life. Anyway, I cannot imagine the struggles she went through but it is interesting to observe that people have an infinite capacity to suffer and it is also interesting to observe that those bleak times do pass.

Thanks guys, I had a long talk with her last night, and everything is going to be ok. We had some issues, and realized how to fix them. Thanks again for all of the advice. Now if I can only get outside. But thats a problem I can live with for now.

Bob