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Re: non athletic spouses and sig. others? [WeRide] [ In reply to ]
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WeRide,
Any suggestions gratefully accepted, and yes it has been a pretty discouraging time. Once the kids are grown and gone and it's just the two of you, then you learn exactly what you still have left between the two of you. In our case it was something of a shock to discover that dealing with her 2 kids was so time-consuming that it effectively masked our lack of connection outside of them. She used to be Special Olympics swim coach (her daughter was in it's swim program for many years), so she knows how, it's just exercise that she is unwilling to do in any form. Having her look at my swim technique ( or lack of technique :-) ) might be a good way of trying to reconnect. Thanks for the inspiration.

Chris
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Re: non athletic spouses and sig. others? [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
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Yes. But a lot of my tri mom friends are jealous that I can pick my times for training around kid watching without having to schedule in the spouse's training also. I do wish he would do something. But he is my biggest $ponsor.

I never like to answer the question, "which are you best at?" because as a triathlete I should be best at all three. --Bob Scott, Muncie July 2008
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Re: non athletic spouses and sig. others? [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
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I spent 5 years with a guy who had little interest in exercise. he thought training was stupid and that i was wasting my money on shoes, gear etc. in the last year of our relationship he started coming to the pool with me but would get upset that i was faster. we tried running, same thing. he had issues with my desire to improve whether it be in sports, education, financial stability etc. his lack of interest is not what doomed our relationship, it was already a sinking ship.

my current boyfriend is a varsity swimmer at our school. he trains 3x more than i do! we're very supportive of each other and its great to have someone who understands the ups and downs of balancing training with school/work, although Im not as into training as I used to be. im happy that we dont swim together anymore because he swims down the middle of the lane!
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Re: non athletic spouses and sig. others? [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
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it is strange that i wound up with a man who doesn't really "workout". after a history of dating rowers, runners, etc.

the part that is so maddening, is that when we go on a hike or something, he really kicks my ass. i can't keep up with him! even walking across the parking lot to go to the grocery store, i can hardly keep up. he is a bonafide mountain man, so when we go on a hike i lagg and he is king of the forest. lol. so it is more appropriate to say he is very "athletic" but not into tri (although i did buy him a road bike in attempts to "make him" like it or attempt it. he said it hurts too much to sit on the saddle, which i understand...it does hurt!).

i think it's great to have someone to "do things with", but it's just as important to "be with" someone...there is a difference.

also, my husband's job is very physical--he climbs smoke stacks, and ladders, etc. i just want him to be healthy, that is all that matters to me.

also, in dating someone of the same sport, i found that without the sport there wasn't much there. it got old after time.

my husband, regardless of sport, is a great supporter and friend. he is a big fuzzy bear and i love him dearly, i would never be as happy as i am without him. i wouldn't change a thing in our marriage (except maybe having him fart less). :)
Last edited by: kittycat: Mar 10, 08 18:50
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Re: non athletic spouses and sig. others? [kittycat] [ In reply to ]
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I can't imagine being married to a non-athletic type. My husband and I are both active, but he doesn't do tris. He does a lot of cycling - road, mt., cross. He used to bike with me a lot before we were married, and now not so much. I think he gets frustrated that I'm slower than he.
One solution we did training-wise was we would go to a local park - he'd do the mt. bike trail 2 or more times while I did my long run. Then we'd go for eats.
He is super supportive though - won't let me do an IM without him being there.

I do have a good female friend that we travel to local or short weekend away tris and have a good 'ol girls tri weekend time. :)
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Re: non athletic spouses and sig. others? [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
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Ya Know.....I'm probably in for a bigger test than what I'm prepared for this year.

My wife is non athletic.....although looking at her you would never guess. She's 43, slender and smokin Hot. I've returned to my racing athletism after more than a two decade sabbatical. (pre marriage, HS, Army, College) I've always been active with pick up basketball, casual biking, softball, hiking through out our marriage but I was not into competitive racing when we met or for the 1st 15 years of our marriage. It started again with a local 4 mile race and has progressed from there. So the daily training thing was not part of our life until 6 years ago.

Although I try to get her to, she has only ever attended two of my races. A sprint Tri and my 1st Marathon. This is just one part of our life that I don't see us sharing......which for now is alright. BUT......And this is a big BUT.

I'm doing my 1st Ironman this year. (IM moo) My training is just starting to ramp up. It kills me to miss or even cut short a training session. Like the 1st marathon, she has no clue what training is required. I did kinda blow up at her last week when an afternoon expectation was dropped on me requireing me to drop a brick work out. I try to remind myself of the SAU's and how they are just as important. Thats a whole lot easier if I blow of the morning swim for a little......er....cross training ;)

I've aready put up with the sarcastic comments about some of our vacation plans for the year.....Like the training weekend in Wisc.....Hey, there's shopping close by.

Then there is the food isssue. Our eating habits don't quite mesh there either. But I think I've got her coming around on this. We do almost all of the grocery shopping together and plan out the weeks meals together. She cooks some nights and I cook some nights. We've worked hard at trimming our grocery budget and eliminating the meals of convience, boxed frozen, crockpot etc. That was a huge savings and makes you eat better.

I would love for her to experience that zen like state during a 10 mile run or the euphoria that hits when you know you put it all on the line and just racked up a PB. I'm not looking for a jogging partner or a biking partner but it would be nice to have a bigger supporter. A little bit of an understanding of what this means to me or why my eyes well up during the Kona re-runs on TV.

As nice as that would be though what would even be better is that when I'm 73, to know that she'll be at home waiting for me after what ever race, tri, masters I just did and she'll still ask me how I did when I get home.

Thanks for thread.



Hurry Up Every Chance You Get

(formerly LuctorEtEmergo)
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Re: non athletic spouses and sig. others? [travelmama] [ In reply to ]
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My GF doesn't do tri's or run but is into tennis big time. She has a real passion for it and plays several times a week, which I think is so cool. And since I played a bit of tennis when I was younger we often hit around together or I'll help her practice a particular aspect of her game. I enjoy going to her matches too (I can bring beer:) )
And she gets my triathlon obsession and is very supportive. She even likes to hear about my training! I'm a lucky guy.
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Re: non athletic spouses and sig. others? [squid] [ In reply to ]
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I'm also quite lucky...It is almost anti-this-post in our household. We are both very athletic, both do tris and don't have any kids. We each have a 12 - 15 hour workout week (though mine will get longer this month). So our question is almost one of total harmony, and our 'vacations' are really quite fun and full of exercise without any hassles! She's been a gym rat since age 15 or so, and comes in around 8% body fat year round. I blossomed to 235 pounds and have since dropped to 155 and 14% body fat over the last 5 years (we're both 40-ish). The only real issue is that we both got into triathlons about 3 years ago, and the competition started. We can't do the same races! This is mostly because she is way more competitive than am I, and I've responded to training better (translated: faster).

Definintely different than some of these posts, though sometimes just as trying.

Our key has been to each have our own training groups. We dont' swim in the same master's groups, and only ride adn run together about once a week. Seems to work, as we both 'get' the need to exercise.
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Re: non athletic spouses and sig. others? [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
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always dated athletic guys, but not triathletes for some reason-even though I have been involved in the sport 21 years and it is such a huge part of my life. I would not date someone no-athletic. It is nice to have a real, outside life other than triathlon. It gives me a balance. Funny how every boyfriend I had would watch me race and be jealous of the triathlete guys-always thought I would run off with one. I am now actually interested in a triathlete for the first time in my life-however he lives far away. When I visit, it is so much fun that we have this in common. Maybe it will wrok this time...:)

Jolene Wilkinson
Triathlon Coaching http://www.pacificfit.net
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