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ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona
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In brief,

I swam, I biked, I ran - I had fun, and now I'm Kona bound!! ;-)



Thanks to everybody who helped make it possible: Cathy and Emma, Murphy the Wonder Dog, Mom and Dad (couldn't you guys have paid a little extra for some swim genes for me? ;-), my family and friends, the ST crew: Dev P, Tetsuoni, Yoda, SwordFish, Tyler_Durden, WVarta, Ted Mc at al for cheerleading, plus all the other great ST'ers I met before, during, and after the race, Rappstar for some great info over the past year, DougStern (although w/ my swim split, maybe he doesn't wanna be associated w/ me! ;-), Tom Demerly, the EpicMan gang (Rick Hellard in particular), the AWESOME HVTC crew, Rich Strauss and Crucible Fitness, Rich at Wheelbuilder.com, Gordo and his gang at GordoWorld, InfinIT nutrition, and my G.com gang: Sam, Bob, Dennis, Mike, Ed. And anybody else I may have forgotten....

Special thanks to Bill at Placid Planet, who literally saved my race by taking the brand new Ouzo Pro fork off his bike so I could replace my ruined Easton aero fork and use my own bike to ride. You are my hero. (Honorable mention to Cid and Cid Jr. from InsideOut Sports, who searched dilligently for a replacement fork for me - you guys are awesome!! I truly appreciated Sid Sr's words when he said "we will get you a fork, or we will get you a bike, you WILL be racing on Sunday." Thank you.)

And a HUGE thanks to all the AMAZING VOLUNTEERS and spectators for this race. I felt like a rock star, it was just an awe inspiring and humbling experience.



The full report (LONG, sorry):

The Prologue - drving up on Friday am, on the Northway going 80 mph, my bike blows off the Thule roof rack of my wife's car, and slams into the side, hanging by the accessory cord I used to secure the rear (since I had the disc cover on, I couldn't use the normal Thule strap). Take a look at the fork, and one of the CF dropouts is bent, the other is sheared off entirely. <loud expletive deleted> Great, now I'm out a $400+ fork, and I hafta scramble to get a replacement.... just what I need to start my first IM weekend.

Arrive in LP, go to High Peaks Cyclery. They have no forks. I go to Placid Planet, and they have an Ouzo Pro, sweet! I bring the bike in, but oh-oh, turns out the B2 has a 1" steerer tube, and the only forks they have are all 1 1/8". I'm buggered. So, I say I'm heading over to InsideOut at the expo to see if they have anything.... just as I'm about to leave, Bill comes out and tells me that if I strike out at IO, to come back because he has an old Litespeed that he just put a new Ouzo Pro onto earlier this month, and he'd be willing to let me have that (and they'd order him a new one which I would pay for). OK, thx!!! I go to InsideOut, see the above mention.

Sat am, get up early, head over to LP to swim and run (since I can't bike), and decide to swing by Placid Planet beforehand (it's 7am), and lo and behold, Bill and Kenny are there, and they get me in right away to get the new fork on my bike. Once again, you guys are my heros.



Race Day. Get up at 3:40, slug down 4 Ensures, and start gathering my schtuff and pack the car. Wake Cathy and Emma, drive over, take the shuttle bus into town. Go to the TA, borrow a pump, lube the chain, find some water to fill the aero bottle, put the fuel bottle on the bike, I think I'm good to go. (more on this later)

The swim: 39:30, 39:52, total 1:19:22. Position 1493. (Yes, I suck at swimming, but either of these split would be a HIM PB for me, so I was psyched w/ my splits). Amazingly I am calm and steady when the gun goes off, and in spite of being violated in ways that should have been preceeded by dinner and a movie and followed by a cigarette, I feel great. Never got out of breath, just swam easy and enjoyed the vortex-like draft, in spite of the rugby-like scrum for the majority of it By far the best o/w swim I've ever had. Exit the water fresh and very psyched that I beat my goal swim split time. Good mojo.

T1: 7:56. I get some assistance from a very enthusiastic stripper, and jog to the TA. I had no idea what to expect, but it was a zoo, I sat on the ground and geared and lubed up. Not as quick as I had hoped (goal was 5-6 mins, oh well), but I grab my bike and get ready to mount up. WTF?? Where is my f'n PT computer?? Uh, it's in my running pants, back in the dry clothes bag (I didn't want it to get wet). D'OH!!!! Split second decision - do I go get it, or ride without? I say F it, and get going. We're racing Old School today, RPE baby.

The bike: 2:42:24, 2:44:08, total 5:26:32. Position 263 (I passed 1230 people on the bike, holy crap!) I try to keep it under wraps going up the hill out of town, but since I don't have my PT, I can only hope that I'm not pushing too hard. Passing tons of people, but my HR doesn't seem outta whack (not that I'd really know, since I don't go by HR on the bike), so I keep on keeping on. Mach Schnell down the Keene descent (which is wet), and thankfully don't hafta brake at all or avoid too many other riders. I went left of the yellow line (legally) and just inside the cones, it was like my own private lane. I'm pretty chilly, and rethinking the "PantyMan" wisecracks I had made about people wearing arm warmers. First loop goes by VERY quickly, and other than some pelotons on the Haselton out and back, it's pretty draft free. I catch up to Tyler_Durden, and all of a sudden we're at Poppa Bear, and it's like the Alpe Du Huez with the cheering going on. I come around into Special Needs, grab my other bottle, and see that I'm gonna be around 2:42 for the loop - uh oh, that's a good 5 mins faster than I planned, I hope I don't end up paying for it later.... Second loop, much more clear now, keep it rolling, catch and pass Yoda (and later on I pass R10C and RRoof, both moving along well), and then shut it down after the top of the Northwoods climb. I come across in 2:44 - again worried that it could be a very loooong run for me if I overcooked it on the bike. Can't do anything about that now.

T2: 2:59 Uneventful. Goal was 2-3 mins, so I'll take it.

The Run: 1:39:20, 1:44:44, total 3:24:04. Position 109 Time for my first-ever marathon. Head down the hill, and moving along decently, HR is relatively low, but some of these dudes are moooving, what are they thinking? What am *I* thinking?? First 3 miles are all in 7:15's or so, dude, you need to chill out here. I settle in on River Road, and take water at every aid station, GU every 3rd. The sponges are nice, and I use one to pad the massive chafing I had on my left armpit, it felt like I was running with a band saw under my arm. I see Dev, and I yell to him that I'm coming, I'm gaining on him!!! ;-) On the way back, I pass a dude in my AG, then he passes me back and I see his calf and I go with him. We motor up the Town Hill, and I'm on him like white on rice. He cracks on LP Club Drive and I pass him. Still clicking off some decent mile splits, HR is around 140 give or take, so I'm very comfy still. Pick it up down the hills on lap 2, then go steady on River Rd again, but now I'm taking a Gu every other aid station, and I have discovered the joy of ice in the Peaceful Tribe headsweats run cap. I get a bit of an ice cream headache, but it hurts so good. I see Dev again, only this time its only a few 100m from the turnaround. I yell out to him again, and a few minutes later I come up behind him, and say Hi. We chat a bit, and he tells me that if I can keep up that pace, I'm Kona bound. I motor off, and hit the hills again. Ski Jump hill, no problemo. Pass the HVTC crew again, who are cheering wildly - THX you guys, you totally rock!!!! Up the Town Hill, and I am in the hurt locker now, start feeling woozy, legs are burning, taking baby steps but still 'running'. Crowds are cheering massively, it really helps. Make the turn onto LP Club Drive, and I know that if I don't blow here, I'm definitely under 10:30, maybe even 10:25 (ok, so math wasn't my strong suit at this very moment ;-)

Hit the oval, and I feel like a rock star, the crowds are going insane. I come up on the line, and can't believe what I'm seeing, 10:20:52, you have gotta be kidding!!!! I was hoping that maybe I could break 10:45 if I played my cards right.... This is just unbelieveable.

I cross the line, and 2 lovely catchers grab my elbows (now I know why they have finish line catchers, I was pretty woozy and unstable), and walk me down for my picture and then to the finish area. I drink a ton of Gatorade (the pizza looked good, but I just couldn't do solid food at the moment), chatted w/ Dev and the other finishers, and then went to go find my wife and daughter.



Thanks again to all who contribute to SlowTwitch, your friendship, input, and motivation have been a treasure to me the last 2 years. Even though this was my first IM, I didn't feel like a rookie. I executed as well as I possibly could have, and then some.


float , hammer , and jog

Last edited by: Murphy'sLaw: Jul 25, 06 13:23
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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Dude - I had the exact same thing happen to my Easton fork on the way to a race. One drop out bent, the other sheared off. Also had a disk on the back and the bike was in a Thule rack. Luckily it was just a b race - more of a training day really - and not an IM, so can't imagine what must have gone through your mind other than a string of explatives.

Nice work kicking ass at LP.
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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Sorry, didn't read the full report, but HOLY CRAP that is one smokin' run!!! First marathon??? Amazing. Congratulations!

The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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Mike- You are the REAL deal my friend !! I am so very happy for you Bro !

It was also great to meet Team ML, your wife,adorable daughter and of course Murphy the Wonder Dog !

Dude, remember the swim advise I gave you ?> At least one of us listened to it ; )

It is very cool to know at least 3 friends that are Kona bound..especially you and Dev.

Congrats again Mike!







_______________________________________________________

Seeing him in deep torment, I said. " You can have my last GU , but its been down my pants for most of the run". - John Hirsch

Take care of your body, its by far the coolest thing you're going to ever own.- Can't remember who told me this, but I love it.
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
The Prologue - drving up on Friday am, on the Northway going 80 mph, my bike blows off the Thule roof rack of my wife's car, and slams into the side, hanging by the accessory cord I used to secure the rear (since I had the disc cover on, I couldn't use the normal Thule strap).
For future reference, you can take out one of the cover bolts, rotate the wheel so that the empty hole is right above the strap, and slide the Thule strap underneath the disk cover on each side (each side will flex enough outwards). This is what I do. Make sure you bring the bolt pair and a flathead screwdriver with you in your tool bag, of course.
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Carl Spackler] [ In reply to ]
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Hey Carl (GREAT screen name, BTW - "we have a pond, or a pool... pond would be good for you" ;-),

So, did I just join you in the Easton "really cool and expensive bike-related bottle opener club" :-p , or were you able to get any satisfaction from Easton in terms of warranty replacement of some sort?? If so, PM me w/ details - thx.

If there's a warning or notice of some sort someplace that says not to use their aero fork w/ a Thule rack (which is just ludicrous, that'd be like saying you can't use their aero fork on a Cervelo), then I don't recall ever having seen it.

I have a CF fork on my Klein (their proprietary one) that has literally 1,000's of Thule roof rack miles on it w/ zero issues (and I've gone stupid-fast w/ that bike on the roof at times ;-), and this was the first-ever roofrack trip for the B2 and look what happened..... Needless to say, I'm not real happy w/ the folks at Easton at the moment. Meanwhile, the Ouzo Pro was a non-issue coming back home, which is exactly as it should be.


float , hammer , and jog

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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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Screen name - you're the first to catch that one!

Yes, we're now fraternal brothers in the "spend money to fix something that was just fine 5-minutes ago" club. Sucks, huh? I didn't get any satisfaction out of Easton so $450 bucks later (or whatever amount it was - I just handed my credit card to local bike shop owner and said "I don't even want to know) my bike is exactly as it was. Although, as the owner pointed out, the new fork looks better in all black as opposed to red/black. So I got that going for me.

Funny thing is that I also ride a B2 and it sounds like the exact same thing happened to both forks.. The only cool part about the whole experience is that I too met a really nice bike shop owner who saved the day. I was driving to a buddy's house close to the race on Saturday night when it happened. I managed to catch the owner of a bike shop working late, and he had an old Felt aero fork hanging around. He told me to come by and he'd throw it on for me. Turns out the guy sponsors and builds all of Chris Lieto's bikes so we rapped about that for a while. Nice dude.

Just finally got the new fork on this week, in time for Vineman this weekend. The Easton does ride nice.
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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BTW, damn studly bike and run splits you posted at LP. Hope you kick some ass in Kona.
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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What did you go and do that for? If you are racing in Kona, that means you are *probably* not racing American Zofingen. I say probably since I'd like to point out you'd have a week to recover between, so it is possible for you to do both. I can't believe you went out and crushed your first IM. See if I give you any more advice... ;)

"Non est ad astra mollis e terris via." - Seneca | rappstar.com | FB - Rappstar Racing | IG - @jordanrapp
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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ML, it was great to meet you and share that Kona rolldown joy with you. It was 15 years since I got my lasgt Kona slot that I passed up. I am glad that you are wise and took yours. See you on the lava fields. This is gonna be a blast!
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Carl Spackler] [ In reply to ]
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Yo Jordan,

Sorry I won't be able to come out and play at A-Z again this year, but I'll probably come up and spectate and/or volunteer anyway. Since my name isn't Joe Bonness, doing that event 6 days before Kona probably isn't the greatest idea ;-)

Carl,

The Ouzo Pro is all black too, looks pretty sweet. I think it rides even better than the Easton, since it has 1deg. more rake, so it's even more stable at speed (and not that I noticed, but it didn't seem to give up any handling - but it's not like I'm doing crits on my tri bike anyway, so who cares?) Considering I was in desperation mode at the time, I got very lucky to nab a good fork like that.

<< So I got that going for me >> Which is nice.


float , hammer , and jog

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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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Great job. nice, VERY NICE run splits!
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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Murphy's Law,

That was a great swim and total IM. You also entered and left the water calm which was another plus.

I look forward to working with you again.

dougStern
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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Great job Murph, Sorry I missed you this w/e. Thats some seriously fast riding and running. Good luck in Kona!

------------------------------------------------------------
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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Great show this weekend ML and congrats on Kona. Looks like you executed your plan to a tee, despite the few "mishaps" throughout the weekend. I guess I'll be the one racing w/ my johnson out at the next club race! Longest leg of the "NY Slam" is finally out of the way. Next stop....SOS. I expect you to have your app in by the end of the week. :-) Rest up brother, you deserve it.....
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
In brief,

I swam, I biked, I ran - I had fun, and now I'm Kona bound!! ;-)


in spite of being violated in ways that should have been preceeded by dinner and a movie and followed by a cigarette, I feel great. I get some assistance from a very enthusiastic stripper, I sat on the ground and lubed up. Not as quick as I had hoped (goal was 5-6 mins, oh well), but I get ready to mount up. WTF?? Where is my f'n computer?? Uh, it's in my pants, Split second decision - do I go get it, or ride without? I say F it, and get going. We're Old School today baby.
Great race. You nearly qualified for Boston as well as Kona (3:20:XX for 40 - 44). I edited your report and just kept the good parts.

*********************
"When I first had the opportunity to compete in triathlon, it was the chicks and their skimpy race clothing that drew me in. Everyone was so welcoming and the lifestyle so obviously narcissistic. I fed off of that vain energy. To me it is what the sport is all about."
Last edited by: Tri_yoda: Jul 25, 06 15:40
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Tri_yoda] [ In reply to ]
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I like your edited version much better - I should hire you as my publicist ;-)



I'm still in awe of your swim split. I'll trade ya some bike speed secrets for whatever it was that you did to improve so much from last year in the water.


float , hammer , and jog

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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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I wasn't that bad in the water last year. I swam a 32:XX at Timberman. The real difference is that I had to hammer to swim that fast. Bascially now I bet I am only a minute faster in a HIM, but I am not swimming hard. Saving it for the run. Just swim 3 x per week (2500 - 3500 yrds per session), go to a few masters (I think I made it a total of 7 times). Repeat for 6 months. Swim easy 63:00 in IM, and still get smoked by ML. I am glad I learned how to swim or it would have been ugly. If you had learned how to swim kus would have needed to watch his back.
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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Hey all,

Just got home from LP, great to hear that ML and Dev got Kona slots. I had a great time, learned a ton (especially the last 13 miles), and broke my Iron cherry. I guess you were just a minute or two behind me Mike, I would have chatted but I was puking over the barrier/laying in the med tent after my finish.

RR report to follow tomorrow.

Ian
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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [itseazy] [ In reply to ]
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Ian - dude, you just KILLED IT on the swim and bike. WOW.

You get yer run sorted out, and you'll be a force to be reckoned with. As it was, even with the meltdown on the 2nd run loop, you still won the ST Iron Virgin Smackdown. Nicely done. Sorry to hear that it took so much outta ya, that's never any fun.

Beer is excellent recovery fuel. Recover well ;-)


float , hammer , and jog

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Re: ML's EXCELLENT IMLP Adventure, aka the Slowest Swimmer at Kona [Murphy'sLaw] [ In reply to ]
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The full report (LONG, sorry):

Bullpucky. For big races like IMs. the longer the report with more detail, the better!!!

Unfreaking believable how close your first and second lap splits were for both the bike and the run. To me it says you raced well, within yourself and paced perfectly. Unbelievably uncanny to do that so well in your first IM. I am double green with envy.


Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)
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