Login required to started new threads

Login required to post replies

Prev Next
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [Tom_hampton] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Tom_hampton wrote:
Well. Okay, its good to have a plan. However, on the off chance that doesn't work out.... Maybe a backup plan would be in order?

I may not agree with plan a. But, I certainly don't want to die in a Barco lounger watching Tom brady. Or live trough that!


How about I add Lance and Vino to Plan A. We do a 100/100 approved 30 min warmup run and then blast the climb up Alpe d'Huez together (I may need a solid e Bike for this) and Vino goes on a crazy attack on the descent. I chase Lance, and lose control and fly off the side of the mountain and go to heaven....Lance catches Vino on the descent and then they transition together and do a 30 min 100/100 run and beats Vino in the sprint finish to respect the guy who invented 100/100. Would that cover plan A???

Hey glad you are alive and recovering. Just did my best 12km hill run in 5 years. Last year this time I had not yet done my first continuous 30 min run outside. I just checked and I now have 75 runs and 600km total running !!!! Whatever happens now, I hit 75!!!!
Last edited by: devashish_paul: Feb 17, 20 7:09
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [devashish_paul] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Don't get me wrong. We all have our blaze of glory fantasy.

Congrats on your return to real running. I understand better than most the feeling of return to something you were certain you'd never do again. It's awesome.

Still... Go get checked!
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [devashish_paul] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Dev, we're at about exactly the same point in 100/100 except that you've run further than me and a bit faster. 4 days to make up. Will probably do it. No injuries.

Thought I'd report in on a new strategy. I've mentioned here (and been quoted by Dan) on how this year's challenge just hasn't been working for me. A few weeks ago, I ran a 9 mile trail race and my wife beat me by more than 8 minutes. Running has been slow, hard, unpleasant. This coming weekend, the 3rd in that series of trail races takes place (12.5 miles this time).

I started thinking back on previous 100/100 attempts, and realized that other than last year, when we were on the road looking for a place to live, I've done quite a lot of workouts on a treadmill due to nasty mid-Atlantic weather. Those treadmill workouts would normally see me try to ramp my pace up over 30+ minutes, typicallly hitting 6:15-6:45 min/mile by the end). This year has been nothing but outside running, which is nice, but has also cemented me into the "slow not-even-steady slog" mode of running (most runs at 9:00 min/mile or slower on trails or road).

So last week I started trying to do some workouts that dropped mileage and got me way up into whatever my current V02max level is. Mostly hard intervals, sprinting up 1/4 mile hills, a little bit of road speed work. Compared to "back in the day" these are still not fast - I remember doing 10x800 track workouts at 6:00 min/mile and finding that not too hard - but they are forcing me into a metabolic/cardiovascular/discomfort range I haven't been in for some time.

Just 4 or 5 days until we see if it makes any short-term difference. And just to be clear, there are still really bad days - I went out last night, and took 33 minutes to run 3 miles (on trails), feeling utterly dead the whole way. Today though was much better. So I'm trying to be hopeful.
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [PaulDavis] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
PaulDavis wrote:
Dev, we're at about exactly the same point in 100/100 except that you've run further than me and a bit faster. 4 days to make up. Will probably do it. No injuries.

Thought I'd report in on a new strategy. I've mentioned here (and been quoted by Dan) on how this year's challenge just hasn't been working for me. A few weeks ago, I ran a 9 mile trail race and my wife beat me by more than 8 minutes. Running has been slow, hard, unpleasant. This coming weekend, the 3rd in that series of trail races takes place (12.5 miles this time).

I started thinking back on previous 100/100 attempts, and realized that other than last year, when we were on the road looking for a place to live, I've done quite a lot of workouts on a treadmill due to nasty mid-Atlantic weather. Those treadmill workouts would normally see me try to ramp my pace up over 30+ minutes, typicallly hitting 6:15-6:45 min/mile by the end). This year has been nothing but outside running, which is nice, but has also cemented me into the "slow not-even-steady slog" mode of running (most runs at 9:00 min/mile or slower on trails or road).

So last week I started trying to do some workouts that dropped mileage and got me way up into whatever my current V02max level is. Mostly hard intervals, sprinting up 1/4 mile hills, a little bit of road speed work. Compared to "back in the day" these are still not fast - I remember doing 10x800 track workouts at 6:00 min/mile and finding that not too hard - but they are forcing me into a metabolic/cardiovascular/discomfort range I haven't been in for some time.

Just 4 or 5 days until we see if it makes any short-term difference. And just to be clear, there are still really bad days - I went out last night, and took 33 minutes to run 3 miles (on trails), feeling utterly dead the whole way. Today though was much better. So I'm trying to be hopeful.

I would think your treadmill speed will help. I have actually been doing some workout that are 50 seconds "on" 10 seconds rest (so my workout had to be 36 min total for 30 min of running) and my actual running pace can be substantially faster than continuous running as the 10 seconds gives me a chance to drop my heart rate. So my speed is coming up a bit now (although my Dubai 70.3 would suggest my run totally sucks....I ran 1:52....but I think my 2:18 ride was a bit hot on the overbiking side even for the fast Dubai course with cars driving in the lanes beside you and I paid on the run)

I just realized that my scheduled cortisone injection for my lumbar disc is two days from now (for some reason I thought it was in March). It was actually originally this time last year, but I rescheduled it three times to give my body more time to heal on its own (its now been 18 months since the last one). I am hoping that this one puts me over the hump and I get most of the force and coordination back in my left leg and the pains that I get from time to time in my lumbar area go away. Running has actully made things better and better (as had swimming for the 4 previous years). So hopefully this gets my left leg strength and coordination better and maybe I can start running faster. But I think I will be 7 days down on 100/100 after I resume (currently 4 days down). Not sure I will have enough days to things back to 100/100 pace. In any case my wattage on the bike and rowing machine or my ability in the water suggest I should run a lot faster and its not just age....so hopefully if the nerve impingement can be reduced with the cortisone shot and subsequent rehab, but run has some hope.
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Tonight was one of those weird nights on the treadmill, where I sucked at the first round of Jeopardy! but KILLED in Double Jeopardy AND got the Answer* in Final Jeopardy

Still hanging on to Medal Contention and somehow only 1 run behind @CalamityJane88

You doin' OK, Jane?



* Did anyone know Lebanon had a "space program" in the 60s and launched a "Cedar" series of rockets? The answer was in the clue

https://fikklefame.com/final-jeopardy-2-20-20/

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [RandMart] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Still going well here. I had to skip one day in the last 3 weeks because I was sick. I did manage to squeeze out a 2k very slow slog for my run streak, but didn't want to push it. I did manage to run every morning during our ski trip, so I didn't lose any days there (which I did not expect). I started a little late and was hoping to do about 70 runs, but currently at 74 and one run behind a gold medal. Might have to do a double run next week!

As for random facts about space programs, Zambia use to have a space program in 1964! It didn't get very far though for some reasons.
Quote:
The letter quoted Nkoloso describing his somewhat unorthodox astronaut training methods, which included rolling the would-be spacefarers downhill in a 40-gallon oil drum to simulate the experience of spaceflight. He also had them swing on a rope, cutting it while the trainees were in midair to help them experience free fall.
More info here: https://www.space.com/...a-space-program.html
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [RandMart] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
RandMart wrote:
Tonight was one of those weird nights on the treadmill, where I sucked at the first round of Jeopardy! but KILLED in Double Jeopardy AND got the Answer* in Final Jeopardy

Still hanging on to Medal Contention and somehow only 1 run behind @CalamityJane88

You doin' OK, Jane?



* Did anyone know Lebanon had a "space program" in the 60s and launched a "Cedar" series of rockets? The answer was in the clue

https://fikklefame.com/final-jeopardy-2-20-20/

OMG, Randy, my running sucks. I keep doing these 10 day periods of just nothing. Everything I’m doing is counter to the soul and raison d’etre of this thing. The shame.

So, you’re about even with me? I can’t let you pass me. How many days left in this program?
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [Calamityjane88] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Um, yeah, sorry

The challenge 'runs' to March 9th



"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [Tom_hampton] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Hi Tom,
Fascinating to read your story and crazy that you were so close to not being with us. We don't know each other apart from I've read a lot of your forum posts. So pleased this was picked up and you are pulling through. I've had a few surgeries and had a chest tube on a couple of occasions so I know exactly what that feels like. I had the misfortune of being conscious when having the drain inserted and that was the worst thing I've ever had done. The stronger and fitter you are, the stronger the intercostal muscles and the harder they have to push that damn tube into you. I was laughing when you described having the tube taken out. When you breath out and they pull that thing through you it's not nice at all! My son had to have brain surgery a few years ago when he was 11. He had to have a drain in his skull for a couple of days, and when they pulled that thing out I nearly passed out at the thought of what that must have felt like to him. Good thing he's tougher than me!

A friend of mine at work had a persistent cough for a few months and generally started to look quite thin and a bit grey. When you see someone everyday, these things tend to go unnoticed. He occasionally ran home from work and noticed a slight shortness of breath. He had been to his doctor twice, the first time they gave him antibiotics for a chest infection, and the second time gave him an inhaler thinking it was asthma. On the third occasion they sent him to the hospital as a precaution to get a heart scan. When they scanned his heart, it was enlarged to twice the size it should be and one of the valves was a thread away from being non-existent. His Aorta was also enlarged to twice it's diameter near the heart. He was told his heart was operating at less than 30% and was rushed by ambulance to the regional hospital where he underwent open surgery to repair the valve. The weird thing is, up until his scan, I had been cycling commuting to work with him both of us completely oblivious to his heart being a beat any from a catastrophic failure. The doctors told him he could have dropped at any moment and would not have survived longer than 3 months if he hadn't had that scan.

Keep posting updates and I'll be following with interest. One thing I always remember from my recoveries is the timetable of all sorts of different meds. Some for pain, some to stop constipation from the pain meds, some to stop drowsiness from the consipation meds that result from the pain meds! Everything just ends up stinking of medication. You can smell it on your skin, your shit stinks of meds, you feel like a chemical lab. Stay strong, stay in the fight and keep us updated if you can. Following top athletes is one thing, but NOTHING compares to a survival story and comeback.

Will
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [RandMart] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
RandMart wrote:
Um, yeah, sorry

The challenge 'runs' to March 9th


Oh darn, I need 20 runs in 16 days to hit 100. Its doable, but that's a double every 5 days and no days off. Or I can take several days off and just get up on March 9th and 90 runs, run 30 min to the donut shop with my laptop, sit down for 60 minutes and work and eat donuts, and every 60 minutes go out for a run and come back and keep eating. Maybe I need to ask Bluestack what strategy to employ but 100 "seems" to be in reach if just clamp down for the next 16 days.
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [devashish_paul] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
How about 1 every day, and then 5 on March 9. 5 in a day must be do-able, that's 2,5 hours of running, you must have done that before.
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [Slowman] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Week 11: 37 runs | 112.1 mi | 16.3 hours

Headaches, severe

Day 71: 7 runs | 21.2 mi
Day 72: 9 runs | 27.4 mi
Day 73: 4 runs | 12.1 mi
Day 74: 3 runs | 9.1 mi
Day 75: 3 runs | 9.1 mi
Day 76: 4 runs | 12.1 mi
Day 77: 7 runs | 21.2 mi

I stopped drinking coffee cold turkey last week. I never cared for black coffee and always loaded up on cream and sugar. Now that I decided to intermittent fast to lose weight, my coffees had to go. Caffeine withdrawal hit me hard this week and I had severe headaches. By the end of the week the headaches stopped. After two weeks intermittent fasting, I am down 4 lbs. A lot of it came off the first week and was simply water weight from the huge carbohydrate swing. I must plan the fasts around my runs. I have been skipping all my AM runs before work. Skipping the AM runs has allowed me to fast 16-20 hours on weekdays and still log 3 to 4 runs.

My body felt strong all week. With all my previous injuries behind me I have been feeling pretty good physically. After running almost 22 hours in week 8, These 15 to 16-hour weeks are very tolerable. Mentally I am counting down the days and can't wait for the challenge to end. I would say that it is not fun anymore. I think it stopped being fun sometime around week 7. I am locked into the mental training aspect of it and determined to not let up.



Week 12: 34 runs | 102.9 mi | 14.8 hours

Fatigue, moderate to severe
Blood clot (right leg)

Day 78: 5 runs | 15.1 mi
Day 79: 8 runs | 24.1 mi
Day 80: 5 runs | 15.2 mi
Day 81: 4 runs | 12.1 mi
Day 82: 3 runs | 9.1 mi
Day 83: 3 runs | 9.2 mi
Day 84: 6 runs | 18.1 mi

I started the week with extreme, unexplained fatigue. While sitting at work I was extremely tired even though I was getting good amounts of sleep. I notice a weird sensation in my right leg a few times throughout each day. It felt like my leg was pipe and warm water was slowly flowed through it. It would only last three to five seconds and only occurred a few times each day. I eventually googled the symptoms and determined it was most likely a blood clot. I started walking more throughout the day at work, used compression on my leg, and took blood thinners once a day. By the end of the week the symptoms seemed to be gone. If it lasted a couple more days, I was ready to go to the doctor. I am pretty sure I treated it just fine.

Fasting is getting easier and I am continuing to skip the AM runs before work. My wife and kids had a mild cold this week and I didn't even catch it. That never happens. I am probably healthier than ever now that I am not pumping sugar through my body all day.

I am going to attempt 17 runs on Sunday, March 8th (day 99). My goal is to start at 12:00 AM Sunday and hold a 9-minute pace or less with exactly 1 hour 1 minute between each run. 17 runs will have me finish at 11:55 PM with just over 50 miles. Hopefully I can pull it off and still squeeze in a run on day 100. Last year there were 29 days where I didn't log a single run. One of my mini goals this year was to make sure I ran at least once every day. Two weeks to go!

"If it costs you 30 minutes at Maryland so what" -dwreal
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [bluestacks867] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [bluestacks867] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
bluestacks867 wrote:
I eventually googled the symptoms and determined it was most likely a blood clot. I started walking more throughout the day at work, used compression on my leg, and took blood thinners once a day. By the end of the week the symptoms seemed to be gone. If it lasted a couple more days, I was ready to go to the doctor. I am pretty sure I treated it just fine.

Is it a good idea to self diagnose and self medicate a potential blood clot? How did you obtain and determine dosage of a blood thinner? For most people, I would think it’s a tremendously bad idea. Did you have help?
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [Calamityjane88] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Calamityjane88 wrote:
bluestacks867 wrote:
I eventually googled the symptoms and determined it was most likely a blood clot. I started walking more throughout the day at work, used compression on my leg, and took blood thinners once a day. By the end of the week the symptoms seemed to be gone. If it lasted a couple more days, I was ready to go to the doctor. I am pretty sure I treated it just fine.


Is it a good idea to self diagnose and self medicate a potential blood clot? How did you obtain and determine dosage of a blood thinner? For most people, I would think it’s a tremendously bad idea. Did you have help?

I'm with you on this one Jane...but I'm biting my tongue here...
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [RandMart] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
RandMart wrote:
Calamityjane88 wrote:
OMG, Randy, my running sucks. I keep doing these 10 day periods of just nothing. Everything I’m doing is counter to the soul and raison d’etre of this thing. The shame.

So, you’re about even with me? I can’t let you pass me. How many days left in this program?

Um, yeah, sorry

Glad to see you got back around me, Jane!!!

The "race" for the Lanterne Rouge [of Medal Contenders, that is] ain't over yet

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [bluestacks867] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Quote:

It felt like my leg was pipe and warm water was slowly flowed through it. It would only last three to five seconds and only occurred a few times each day. I eventually googled the symptoms and determined it was most likely a blood clot. I started walking more throughout the day at work, used compression on my leg, and took blood thinners once a day.


Sorry bluestack. That was incredibly stupid.

Clots can be life threatening or life altering. Loss of life, loss of brain function, loss of limb.

After my entire thread on the early detection of my cardiac event, I'm just shocked that you would play so fast and loose with something that can equally deadly. Shit...stupid, stupid, stupid.

You went and took a blood thinner without the advice of a physician. Seriously dude. That is just bad thinking.

Eta: man that pisses me off.
Last edited by: Tom_hampton: Feb 25, 20 18:28
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [RandMart] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
RandMart wrote:
RandMart wrote:
Calamityjane88 wrote:
OMG, Randy, my running sucks. I keep doing these 10 day periods of just nothing. Everything I’m doing is counter to the soul and raison d’etre of this thing. The shame.

So, you’re about even with me? I can’t let you pass me. How many days left in this program?

Um, yeah, sorry

Glad to see you got back around me, Jane!!!

The "race" for the Lanterne Rouge [of Medal Contenders, that is] ain't over yet

Keep talking, Randy. You totally psyched me up! 🤗
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [Calamityjane88] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Glad to help, Jane!!!

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [dtoce] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
I'm crossing my fingers that blood thinners = Aspirin.

Glad you're safe, but probably worth checking out asap.
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [oprfcc] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
oprfcc wrote:
I'm crossing my fingers that blood thinners = Aspirin.

Glad you're safe, but probably worth checking out asap.

Noting that our superstar has continued to log runs and just in case anyone gets any smart ideas, I give you this song (currently popular with middle schoolers):


Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [Calamityjane88] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
I've got your Discliamer, right here, Jane

Quote:
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool. process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it. Terms are subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Article is provided "as is" without any warranties. Reader assumes full responsibility. An equal opportunity article. No shoes, no shirt, no articles. quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Instructions are included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call before you dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Articles are ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to read. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Fluorescent lamps may flicker or strobe at beginning of lamp life. Allow up to 100 hours for lamps to stabilize. The government of the United States of America shall be under no liability whatsoever resulting from any use of this program. This program should not be relied upon as the sole basis for solving a problem whose incorrect solution could result in injury to person or property. This electronic transmission has been sent by a computer. It may contain information that is confidential, privileged, proprietary, or otherwise hampered from practical use. If you are not the intended recipient, you are encouraged to not read, print, retain, copy or disseminate this information, any part of it, or any attachments. If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product. Seek help immediately if you are actually reading this! Any resemblance between anything here and the views of my employer, my terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance between the above sentence and my own views is non-deterministic. The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader. The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient. (A discussion of non orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is way beyond the scope of this page.) No part of this page may reproduce, store itself in a retrieval system, or transmit disease, in any form, without the permissiveness of the reader's system. Printouts of this page, when crumpled and swallowed, may cause serious choking. Warning: This site may contain explicit descriptions of, or advocate one or more of the following: adultery, morbid violence, bad grammar, deviant sexual conduct in violent contexts, or the consumption of alcohol and illegal drugs. But then again, it may not. Who knows? For best results, avoid doing stupid things. If your application demands constant uninterrupted ceaseless unremitting everlasting endless eternal persistent perpetual permanent existence, please contact a qualified quantum mechanic. This document may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, by any means, including but not limited to: Mechanical reprints, electronic storage or scanning, theatrical release, musical ballads, word of mouth, sign language, Braille, pantomime, hetero- or asexual reproduction, or genetic engineering. This document is meant for educational purposes only. Valid only in the US. Void in the 48 contiguous states, Alaska, Hawaii, and where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. You may not post on this site or sell through this site any item that could cause us to violate any applicable law, statute, ordinance or regulation. This also applies to any live animals, human beings or body parts, soiled undergarments, bulk email lists, switchblades, and automatic weapons such as AK-47s. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Do not use this material to line cribs. Don't put it in your mouth; you don't know where it's been. In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device. Even though oxygen is flowing, the plastic bag may not inflate. Do not pass "GO"; do not collect $200. Bridge freezes before road surface. Watch your step. These are atypical results; your income may vary. Use of this page as a marital aid nullifies warranty. Uranium-236 not included. As with real appliances, some toy stoves *will* burn your careless ass. Harmful if swallowed with massive quantities of vodka. No disrespect intended. Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously. Some assimilation required. Resistance is futile. Some dismemberment may occur. If you are having problems installing your modem, please contact manufacturer by e-mail. To avoid overflow, release button before cup is full. Do not attempt to stop chainsaw blade with hands or genitalia. Do not apply facial cleanser directly to the brain. Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning. Do not use hair coloring as an ice cream topping. Made from doe urine, not for human consumption. In case of flood - proceed uphill. In case of flash flood - proceed uphill quickly. If this is given to you in an inflatable picture frame it is not to be used as a personal floatation device. Do not put bottle rocket in mouth. Because some of the content on the Internet consists of material that is adult-oriented or otherwise objectionable to some people, the results of your searches may automatically and unintentionally generate links or references to objectionable material. Computerized search technology does not give you search results limited to only the hits that you were seeking. There may be extraneous hits as well. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. No animals were mistreated or abused in posting this page to the network. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some audiences. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the page has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. This page contains a head-enhancing device; do not shake vigorously. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. At participating locations only. Not even a good imitation of the Beatles. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Look out for falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Due to the nature of the game of squash, this racket is not guaranteed. Kilroy was here. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. Place another stamp here. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Out to lunch. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typogriphical errors. No returns unless defective. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Don't even think about parking here. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Do not put the base of a ladder on frozen manure. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the site comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise. No purchase required. Must be over 21 to enter. Viewer discretion is advised. No refunds without receipt. Comply with above instructions carefully and completely or you may be disqualified from receiving your prize. Decisions of the judges will be final unless shouted down by a really overwhelming majority of the crowd present. Abusive and obscene language may not be used by contestants when addressing members of the judging panel, or, conversely, by members of the judging panel when addressing contestants. Prolonged exposure to vapors has caused cancer in laboratory animals. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Keep away from children. At participating locations only. Add more toner. Place more stamps here. Use only as directed; intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling contents can be harmful or fatal. Avoid contact with skin. Road construction ahead. Open other end. Dealer participation may affect final price. May not be present in all tap water. Sanitized for your protection. See Uniform Code of Military Justice. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. * - Indicates a low-fat item. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Tax, tag, and title not included in advertised price. Not recommended for children. Reproduction by mechanical or electronic means, including photocopying, is strictly prohibited. Avoid spraying into eyes. An 18% gratuity will be added for parties of 8 or more. For qualified buyers. Unit not labeled for individual sale. The following information is meant for general educational purposes only. Contents under pressure. No shirt, no shoes, no service. No smoking, food, or drink. This disclaimer does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of my cat. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may distribute this freely but you may not make a profit from it. Do not use near open flame. Management not responsible for loss or theft. Maximum speeding fine: $350. Terms are subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons or events, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. We have kosher and non-kosher foods. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. Prizes are not redeemable for cash equivalent. All taxes become liability of the winner. Handicapped parking - tow zone. Page is provided "as is" without any warranties. User assumes full responsibility. An equal opportunity employer. We accept food stamps. Quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. You must be 84" tall to ride this ride. Disconnect spark plug wire before servicing. Limit one per family, please. No money down. No purchase necessary. Instructions are included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Shown with optional equipment. Page does not really fly. Coated with food-grade vegetable, beeswax, and/or shellac-based wax or resin to maintain freshness. Safety goggles required during use. For demonstration purposes only. Sealed for your protection, do not use if safety seal is broken. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use. Sealed with printed foil for your protection. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit/ 49 degrees Celsius. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Your email session may be monitored. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (Title 17, United States Code, Section 506) investigates allegations of criminal copyright infringement. See local retailer for complete details. Unleaded gas only. MTBF and MTTR are, of course, a WAG. All disputes will be resolved by arbitration. Alcohol 10% by volume. Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Current FCC regulations limit speed of 56K modems to 53Kbps. As seen on television. As used in hospitals. CAUTION: May be habit-forming. Close cover before striking. Close-captioned for the hearing impaired. Comes complete with applicator. Contains all new material consisting of 100% polyurethane foam. Dispose of properly. For prevention of disease only. Fortified with 9 essential nutrients. Helps build strong bodies 12 ways. [[[ In Stereo ]]] (where available). Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. No purchase necessary. Enter as often as you like. Not affiliated with Major League Baseball. Offer valid for a limited time only. Published simultaneously in Canada. Severe tire damage. To prevent electric shock, do not open back panel. In case of eye contact, flush with water. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. TO OPEN: Slide finger under flap and loosen gently. Warranty void if seal is broken. Your mileage may vary. Actual mileage will probably be less. This vehicle stops at all railroad crossings. Not responsible for lost or stolen items. This contract does not create a bailment. No in-and-out privileges. Smoking this page could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. Use type GR927 battery. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. WARNING: pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid this product. Discontinue use if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. May stick to certain types of skin. Contains no fruit juice. Push down, then twist. Dry clean only. UL listed. Pages are ribbed for your pleasure. Possible substantial penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating sites. If you have acquired Subject Matter from here on behalf of an entity of the government of the United States of America, the following provision applies: u. S. Government restricted rights legend. Use, duplication or disclosure by the government is subject to restrictions as set forth in far 52.227-19(c)(2) or subparagraph (c)(1)(ii) of the rights in technical data and computer clause at dfars 252.227-7013 and/or in similar or successor clauses in the far, or the DOD or NASA far supplement. Unpublished rights reserved under the copyright laws of the united states. The subject matter included here is provided "as is" and without warranty of any kind, either express or implied, including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, or non-infringement. We shall not be liable for any special, incidental, accidental or consequential damages, including, without limitation, lost revenues, lost profits, lost virginity or loss of prospective economic advantage, resulting from the use or misuse of this crap, even if we have been advised of the possibility of such damages, or for any claim by another party, especially if we were not invited to said party. We make no representations or warranties, either express or implied, of any kind with respect to this information, the products, services, or materials offered, sold, or displayed on this website or your use of this website generally. To the full extent permissible under applicable law, we expressly disclaim all warranties, express or implied, of any kind, with respect to the information, the products, services, or materials offered, sold, or displayed on this website or your use of this website generally, including warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement. Some jurisdictions limit or do not allow the disclaimer of implied or other warranties so the above disclaimer may not apply to the extent such jurisdiction's law is applicable to this agreement. You agree that this site, its directors, officers, employees, consultants, agents, or other representatives ("service providers") shall not be liable for any damage, loss, or expense of any kind arising out of or resulting from your possession or use of the products, any product obligations or any action or inaction of any vendor regardless of whether such liability is based in tort, contract, or otherwise. In no event, shall this site or any of its service providers be liable to you for any indirect, special, incidental, consequential, or punitive damages (including without limitation, loss of profits, loss or corruption of data, loss of goodwill, work stoppage, computer failure or malfunction, or interruption of business), with respect to this information, other products, services, or materials offered, sold, or displayed on this website, your use of this website generally, or otherwise in connection with this agreement, regardless of whether this site or any of its service providers have been advised of the possibility of such damages. Nobody reads this shit anyways, so we can say anything we want and you will just agree and click through it. If you are reading all of this, we suggest you get a life and dump aol, where this sort of all caps typing is common. If the foregoing limitation is held to be unenforceable, and good luck on finding anybody who will try to push that against our lawyers, the maximum liability of this site and its service providers to you shall not exceed the amount of the fees paid by you for the products, or other products or services you have ordered through this website, or $2.00 (USD), whichever is less. Some jurisdictions do not allow the limitation or exclusion of liability for certain damages, so the above limitations and exclusions may not apply to you to the extent such jurisdiction's law is applicable to this agreement. In any event, you will not get more than the minimum amount mentioned above, if you get that, and that will take a lawsuit. Your receipt of an electronic or other form of order confirmation does not signify our acceptance of your order, nor does it constitute our offer to sell. We reserve the right at any time after receipt of your order to accept, decline, or limit your order for any reason, whether or not your credit card has been charged. If your credit card has been charged and your order is canceled you will receive a refund credit to your account, after a while, maybe. We reserve the right at any time after receipt of your order, without prior notice to you, to lessen the quantity of any item you order. All orders placed over $2000.00 (USD) must obtain pre-approval with an acceptable method of payment, as established by our credit and fraud avoidance department. We may require additional verifications or information before accepting any order. Price and availability of Products and other products and services offered on this website are subject to change without prior notice. To the extent we provide information on availability of Products or other products and services, you should not rely on such information. We will not be liable for any lack of availability products or other products and services you may order through this website. You agree that you will not export or re-export any of the Subject Matter, directly or indirectly, unless (a) the Export Administration of the U. S. Department of Commerce explicitly permits the export or re-export of the Subject Matter or (b) the Office of Export Licensing of the U. S. Department of Commerce has granted authorization to you in writing for the export or re-export the Subject Matter. THIS WARRANTY DOES NOT COVER: misuse, accident, extraterrestrial impact, lightning, floods, tornadoes, solar flares, tsunami, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, supernovas, hurricanes, other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper or unauthorized use, incorrect line voltage and/or frequency, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, chemical reactions, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom shock waves, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, Divine Intervention, extraterrestrial intervention, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, explosive decompression, hard vacuum, dropping the item, falling rocks, falling prices, falling expectations, falling on anything, caustic chemicals, napalm, leaky roofs, broken glass, magnetic fields, laser or other energy weapons, sub-atomic particle bombardment, emissions of x-rays, microwave, ultraviolet, cosmic, and/or gamma rays, mud slides, forest fires, or projectiles (which may include, but are not limited to, arrows, bombs, artillery shells, missiles, bullets, snowballs, hand grenades, buckshot, BBs, flares, shrapnel, liquid-filled balloons, torpedoes, knives, stones, spears, swords, maces, pikes, clubs, and/or morningstars). Other restrictions may apply. WARNING: may cause cirrhosis of the liver, inflammation of the brain, heart damage, pancreatic damage, kidney damage, spleen implosion or explosion, thyroid combustion, severe nasal hair growth, blindness, eruptia, pregnancy, infertility, fecal incontinence, impotence (AKA "Just Bobbing Your Dole"), loss of genitalia and/or hermaphroditism, hair loss, skin blemishes, bone deformity, throat cancer, ulcers, hangnails, bladder leakage, sores, scabs, elephantiasis, hepatitis, conjunctivitis, gingivitis, appendicitis, bronchitis, and/or athlete's foot. Not recommended for children, adults, senior citizens, animals, insects, plants, or dead people. Use only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Do not belch Hydrogen Beer (TM) near open flame. Driver does not carry more than $20 in cash (he is married). Operators are standing by. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle. Remove before flight. Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball. For indoor or outdoor use only. Remember: objects in the mirror are actually behind you. RTFM. YMMV. TANSTAAFL. INAL. IMHO. Branches from the nearby foliage or geological specimens may fracture my skeletal structure; however, inaccurate descriptions of my physical appearance, heritage, or personality cannot damage my psyche. I didn't do it. Don't say I didn't warn you. No game show contestants, Tupperware representatives, cork sockers, sock tuckers, corn shuckers, chicken pluckers, double-clutching mother truckers, overpaid doctors, toilet paper roll winders, people named "Elmer Joe," Kirby salespeople, Psychic Friends Network employees, condom testers, or anal thermometer quality assurance personnel were harmed in any way either physically or mentally during the making of this page. Crossed fingers don't count.

This disclaimer complies with proposed U. S. federal requirements for disclaimers Section 301, Paragraph (a)(2)(c) of S. 1618, which mandates, among other
things, a free salad shooter if you call in the next five minutes. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Tag, you're it.

Print out for reference only. Do not write below this line.


"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [RandMart] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Randy,

A quick scan reveals we’re missing the “this is not legal advice” and disclosure language for the FCC’s requirement that social media influencers divulge that they are compensated. Also, ”Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T” is in there 2 times. I haven’t had the time or interest to read it carefully, so please take this with a grain of salt. Also need to include standard “grain of salt” disclosure.

Hugs— not drugs,
C
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [oprfcc] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Thanks for your concern everyone. Yes blood thinners were standard ibuprofen. I apologize if I made the ordeal not sound serious enough and put information out there that might make someone else make a bad decision based on reading my very brief, incomplete summary.

"If it costs you 30 minutes at Maryland so what" -dwreal
Quote Reply
Re: Official 13th Annual 2019/2020 Slowtwitch 100/100 Challenge Thread [Calamityjane88] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Calamityjane88 wrote:
Randy,

A quick scan reveals we’re missing the “this is not legal advice” and disclosure language for the FCC’s requirement that social media influencers divulge that they are compensated. Also, ”Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T” is in there 2 times. I haven’t had the time or interest to read it carefully, so please take this with a grain of salt. Also need to include standard “grain of salt” disclosure.

Hugs— not drugs,
C

Thanks, Jane

I think I plagiarized it sometime before that FCC requirement was adopted

"Grain of salt" makes me think we also need to include something like "Processed in a facility that also processes milk, soy, wheat, and/or nut products" if it's not in there already

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin
Quote Reply

Prev Next