jkca1 wrote:
BLeP wrote:
jkca1 wrote:
How many unwanted children has your friend adopted? If the answer is zero, tell your friend for me he is a fucking hypocritical asshole. If it's one or more, never mind.
I wish I lived in the world that you live in where everything was either black or white.
Instead of making abortion illegal, we should encourage people to adopt. We should make adoption easy, cheap and something to be proud of. If I didn't have two kids struggling daily with mental illness I would gladly add to my family. My mom and her sisters grew up in an orphanage. It was not pleasant. The beating did not stop, morale did not improve.
I hate the idea of abortion, but I hate the idea of the state telling women what they can or cannot do with their bodies more.
Adoption doesn't have to be financially costly. People can adopt through the foster system in many circumstances with little if any out-of-pocket expenses.* The problem is that adopting through the foster system is an emotional roller coaster so long as potential reunification with a birth parent is on the table. I have a close friend who gave up on the process after, for the second time, a child that they had bonded with closely, considered part of their family, etc., was removed from their home to never be seen again. Based on stories I've heard from our social worker, our foster to adoption went smoothly. Nevertheless, it was still a three-year ride, with emotional ups and downs and uncertainties. You bond with the child, consider him or her part of the family, know the birth parents are complete fuck-ups and unfit, know that if the child is reunited that it will be for the worst, yet there is that lingering possibility that that birth parents can do what is minimally necessary for reunification, and that kills you.
*With regard to costs, during foster care, the state covered all medical expenses and care. In addition, there was a monthly stipend that pretty much covered food, diapers, some clothing, etc. (The stipend was around $450 per month 10 years ago.) For the adoption process, the state paid for a lawyer to fill out the paperwork and represent us in court. Our only expense with the process was the livescan fingerprint costs for the background check. about $40 each. After adoption, our child can still be covered by Medical, although we've always just included her on our insurance and never took advantage of the state coverage. We also get a monthly stipend (currently $760 per month but indexed to inflation) until she's 18. I was surprised about that last point when we were signing the adoption papers because I didn't expect it. I had just assumed everything would be just like our other kids. The social worker told us that the stipend was so that good families wouldn't refuse to adopt solely because they couldn't afford another kid. (The monthly stipend has always gone towards the kid's college education.She'll have close to $200k when she graduates.)