In the ongoing discussion about VP Biden's lack of recognition of personal boundaries, the constant refrain is that intent doesn't matter; the only thing that matters is how a person perceives or feels about your actions. E.g. it doesn't matter that VP Biden had no sexual intent or intent to offend or make anyone uncomfortable, the ONLY thing that matters is that these women felt uncomfortable.
Is this a reasonable position? Are we really willing to take that position to its extremes?
I have problems with this narrative, not the least of which is that I think it does matter whether you intend or don't intend to make someone uncomfortable, to abuse your power, to cross boundaries, etc. Are we really going to argue that a person who innocently encroaches on your personal boundaries out of an attempt to convey affection is no different than a person who encroaches on your boundaries because he wants a chance to get a sexual thrill?
The more difficult problem is the trend that says, whatever a person feels, everyone else has to accept that as a reasonable response. I reach out to shake someone's hand, and that person decides that they've just been violated, now I'm the bad guy despite my intentions and the person's obviously unreasonable objections. Not only does this mindset allow people to claim more and more ridiculous claims of offense, but it sanctions people who decide to fabricate offense because we're not allowed to question those feelings.
We had a poster here in the LR who claimed that calling them on the phone is "aggressive," and impolite as opposed to texting. Leaving aside the obvious irrationality of that feeling, if we live in a society where intent doesn't matter, only perception, then how is anyone supposed to get a feel for the rules and boundaries we're not allowed to cross?
Slowguy
(insert pithy phrase here...)
Is this a reasonable position? Are we really willing to take that position to its extremes?
I have problems with this narrative, not the least of which is that I think it does matter whether you intend or don't intend to make someone uncomfortable, to abuse your power, to cross boundaries, etc. Are we really going to argue that a person who innocently encroaches on your personal boundaries out of an attempt to convey affection is no different than a person who encroaches on your boundaries because he wants a chance to get a sexual thrill?
The more difficult problem is the trend that says, whatever a person feels, everyone else has to accept that as a reasonable response. I reach out to shake someone's hand, and that person decides that they've just been violated, now I'm the bad guy despite my intentions and the person's obviously unreasonable objections. Not only does this mindset allow people to claim more and more ridiculous claims of offense, but it sanctions people who decide to fabricate offense because we're not allowed to question those feelings.
We had a poster here in the LR who claimed that calling them on the phone is "aggressive," and impolite as opposed to texting. Leaving aside the obvious irrationality of that feeling, if we live in a society where intent doesn't matter, only perception, then how is anyone supposed to get a feel for the rules and boundaries we're not allowed to cross?
Slowguy
(insert pithy phrase here...)