Login required to started new threads

Login required to post replies

Post deleted by Anna s
Last edited by: Anna s: Dec 6, 16 0:13
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [Anna s] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
oh dear somebody has been knocked off her throne . . .

she's probably got a lot going on physically and mentally and has to make peace with it on her own terms.

keep being nice and swimming fast. She'll either drop out, or get over herself and start appreciating you for making her work harder.
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [Anna s] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Ugh. Such a bummer that this gal is sour. I know somebody like this. I think her whole identity is wrapped up in her lane standing and you just kinda rocked her world a little bit... and she can't cope with it. There are a lot of people in this world who have internal struggles that make life just hard to cope with and they react oddly to seemingly insignificant things. With that kind of behavior you can only surmise that there is more there than meets the eye and you poked her in a sensitive spot. Or she just goes through life with this sort of behavior as a norm. In time she'll probably accept her new standing in second place and chill out. I agree that you should just be consistent and keep your cool. And swim circles around her. And good for you for being fast and getting faster!!

Hillary Trout
San Luis Obispo, CA

Your trip is short. Make the most of it.
https://www.slogoing.net/
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [Anna s] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
People react to competition differently - I'd say this is her problem, not yours. Do your own thing and congratulations on the new personal bests!
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [Anna s] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Congratulations on swimming your personal bests! Don't let her bad attitude get you down, try to be kind where you can and focus on your progress.

(Formerly SoCalTricurious, now in the PNW).
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [Anna s] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Quote:
I swam my fastest 100m and my fastest 200m yesterday.

Well, there you go. Competition can be a good thing. Enjoy the success and move on.

No coasting in running and no crying in baseball
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [Anna s] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Do what I do: Wear earplugs in the pool and then pretend you can't hear her. =)

Congrats on the PBs. Do you own thing and don't give attention to people who obviously feed on it for drama.

http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [Scheherazade] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Scheherazade wrote:
People react to competition differently - I'd say this is her problem, not yours. Do your own thing and congratulations on the new personal bests!

^This.
As someone in her 40s, I really admire the way younger women have started banding together and supporting each other. It was really common among my generation and older for women to constantly be in competition with each other. There always had to be a queen. I often have a hard time getting along with women five to ten years older than me because they keep trying to take charge of me and the other women instead of working in cooperation, so I totally understand your rant. It sucks, but it is the result of a lifetime of being told that you can't be as good as the men, so you have to be better than the other women. Remember, we were raised in a generation where "you aren't like other girls" was considered a compliment instead of an insult to our entire gender.

Just ignore her. It will drive her crazy.
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [happyscientist] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
happyscientist wrote:
I often have a hard time getting along with women five to ten years older than me because they keep trying to take charge of me and the other women instead of working in cooperation, so I totally understand your rant. It sucks, but it is the result of a lifetime of being told that you can't be as good as the men, so you have to be better than the other women. Remember, we were raised in a generation where "you aren't like other girls" was considered a compliment instead of an insult to our entire gender.

Just ignore her. It will drive her crazy.

This might be my favorite Womens post all year, except for the last two sentences. I have similar issues with other women either wanting to control or wanting me to take control (they think they are being nice when they say, Oh, you just decide ... ). However, I would recommend simply being nice to the woman at the pool -- maybe even invite her to have coffee after swimming and make a new friend. Sometimes, a simple "I get the feeling I am upsetting you somehow, and I would so much prefer we be partners in this enterprise..." can go a long way toward making masters swim more pleasant for both of you.
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [happyscientist] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Quote:
Just ignore her. It will drive her crazy.

Or, she'll just think of you as a bigger bitch.

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [ironclm] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
ironclm wrote:
Quote:
Just ignore her. It will drive her crazy.


Or, she'll just think of you as a bigger bitch.

Who cares? We are all past high school. No one gives a crap if some random woman at the pool thinks she's a bitch.
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [Gee] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
happyscientist wrote:
Remember, we were raised in a generation where "you aren't like other girls" was considered a compliment instead of an insult to our entire gender.

I still feel something when people say this to me. I appreciate not being as caty as many girls were regarded as being, but I don't view myself as special, just motivated. So this statement has always made me think, "I'm sorry you expect so little out of me/other women".

Gee wrote:
However, I would recommend simply being nice to the woman at the pool -- maybe even invite her to have coffee after swimming and make a new friend. Sometimes, a simple "I get the feeling I am upsetting you somehow, and I would so much prefer we be partners in this enterprise..." can go a long way toward making masters swim more pleasant for both of you.

Ugh, I'm really ill-equipped at massaging other people's ego's so this wouldn't work for me. I show up more for a good workout and less to smooth out other people's issues. Now the longer I'm with a group, the more comfortable I might be making some other newcomer feel welcome, but as the newer-comer, I would not be going out of my way to make others comfortable in a swim group... (Guess my take on all that would be different if I was new management...)

That said I'm sure the world is a better place due to some taking the actions you suggested.

To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [happyscientist] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Well, not exactly. Isn't that sort of the point if this thread? đŸ˜‰
In Reply To:
In Reply To:
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [ironclm] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
I agree, ignoring her might escalate things to outright hostility.

However, if you simply ignore her behaviour, but not ignore her (say hello, acknowledge her if she says something nice), then she may over time warm to you. Or, at least not make things even more unpleasant.

Like the others have said, you've rocked her world a bit and needs some time to adjust. Once she figures out you aren't there to make her look bad, she should come around. Some people just need time to adjust to a new world order (even in the swim lanes)!
Quote Reply
Re: Can i rant here about silly things? I'm going to rant.... [Furiosa] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Furiosa wrote:
I agree, ignoring her might escalate things to outright hostility.

However, if you simply ignore her behaviour, but not ignore her (say hello, acknowledge her if she says something nice), then she may over time warm to you. Or, at least not make things even more unpleasant.

Like the others have said, you've rocked her world a bit and needs some time to adjust. Once she figures out you aren't there to make her look bad, she should come around. Some people just need time to adjust to a new world order (even in the swim lanes)!

Good response!

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com
Quote Reply