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I love the term "whack fuck"--that's brilliant.
Me too. Just not necessarily relating to golf.
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And I rarely played without a couple of drinks on board--not because I had to get sauced, but just because I played better when I was more relaxed.
I used to be completely tanked by the end of 18. I don't drink anymore. Definitely play better sober. A little herb can help.
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I hate golf because of the douchebags who play golf (Duffy, I'm sure your brother is an exception).
He's a pretty humble guy, about as low key as one can be at 6'4 and 245lbs.. I know they type you're talking about, though. Kind of depends on where you play. At the little par 3 the boy and I play it cost $12 for the both of us, we hardly even see other people and the others we do see are the tshirt and tennis shoe crowd. It's a decidedly unserious place. Other places I play (when my cousin comes to town he always wants to play) are more, uh, golfy and you can get paired up with some real dicks (my cousin is kind of a dick to others, but he knows not to piss me off so he's cool with me).
When my brother comes to town we sometimes play at one of the local country clubs, and depending on which one, it can get real stuffy (it's always twosomes though).
One time me and a friend were paired up with a couple of jerkoffs and we proceeded to irritate the shit out of them (without them realizing we were doing it on purpose). It was hilarious. By the 16th hole it almost went to blows. One these guys had a thick NY accent and when I mentioned that my family was from the east coast and asked where he was from he said "I'm from east Montecito". Fat fuck.
I really think that golf has its place in 1st world society. I look at it as more of social construct than a sport. When I go with my son I teach him etiquette, and that's it. Wait your turn. Don't walk in front of shots. Be quiet. Count every stroke. He likes the rules part of it and those rules allow us to play with strangers at any course in the world without conflict. For me, golf has very little to do with putting a ball into a hole.
I hear what you're saying about golf courses being a scar on the planet, but it's certainly better than a mall or Home Depot or a parking lot. BTW, I do some environmental compliance work for a few courses and they are users of some nasty shit.
I think you need to go down to your local golfing field and play nine holes. Count every stroke. And realize that the more times you hit the ball the more golf you're getting for the fees you paid.
Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.
- Chinese proverb