It's easier to have a relationship if you both have common interests IMO, but I've known happy couples who have been together for years and still have interests quite independent of the other. You're currently in the infatuation phase. If anything long term comes out of this likely you will both end up making compromises. For the while, take her to a tri and see what she thinks of watching you racing. She might get interested but she might not, but if she is genuinely interested in you then she will appreciate your dedication and accept it as part of the package.

if you HAVE to keep up you're training volume but are also really into this new girl, i would say start getting up REALLY early (i.e. before work early) and getting in your workouts then, leaving your evenings free to spend with her. this way you won't be sacrificing your workouts or time with her... just sleep! you can also try leaving the "long" workouts until the weekends then get in a good 3-4 hours (or whatever a "long" workout may be for you) on each saturday and sunday. good luck!

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____________________________________________________________
"I'm happy when life's good,
and when it's bad I cry.
I've got values but I don't know how or why."
- The Who

welcome to my world.

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customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.

I think it's perfectly healthy to have divergent interests. In fact, I think it enhances your relationship because you both bring fresh ideas, energy, and individuality to your time together.

I've been with my wife for 13 years this month (9 years married). In that time, I've:

1. Raced 100 bike races

2. Completed 2 marathons

3. Done 5 Ironmans

4. Countless other sporting events

This past season, I had peak weeks approaching 30 hours (while working full-time too)...How do we make it work? A few simple rules:

1. Training on Saturday/Sunday needs to be completed by 1400 hrs.

2. Once I've completed a workout, I can't act like I've been working out...No laying on the couch...If the lawn needs mowing, mow it. If we've got plans, enjoy them.

3. For every $1,000 spent on a bike, I need to get 1 year of use out of the bike before I replace it.

4. Separate bank account for my athletic expenses

By the way, in 13 years, Rachel as only watched me race 5 times...Each year, she commits herself to being my "SuperFan" at Ironman...The rest of the year, she enjoys her own interests when I'm pursuing mine.

Needless to say, I need some ideas for her birthday this Friday;-)

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http://wattieink.com/elite-team/
Raising funds to help wounded veterans and racing RAAM 2013 with http://team4mil.org/
"If you are gonna charge... CHARGE HARD!"

Who needs a relationship partner if you have a pretty bike?

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Slowguy

(insert pithy phrase here...)

Witholding....crass....remarks.... Arrrgggghhh!!!

think outside the tri-box ;-)

Plan something romantic, tied into your training. For example, when you work up to the long rides, plan to meet your friend for a picnic lunch -- at a park, for example, that is at the end of your ride.

Or, surprise your friend after a long run/ride with reservations for a romantic nite out.

This happened to me a few years ago. I ended up marrying her. This, my friend, solved any problems of trying to see more of each other.

you will loose no matter what you do. expalin to her right now this is what you do and she needs to accept it. give an inch they take 23 to 89.5 miles.

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customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.

Gots to git the impo'tent stuff down early...

I met my girl about two years ago, and she is a great biker who said she would swim-bike-run when pigs started piloting 747s. I told her that was her choice as long as she understood that I tri and tri and tri. We worked out pretty well together, biking several hundred miles in the rain our first winter, and getting closer every week.

Last year for my birthday, she let me teach her to swim. Then for Valentine's Day, she joined my tri training group. This past June, pigs musta been flying, cuz she swam, biked and ran (Tri for Fun, Pleasanton) followed by a 1.2 mile open-water swim in July, and now she's signed up for her first Oly distance in September.

It wasn't critical to our relationship that she become a triathlete, but it sure helped. The important thing is that anyone entering into a relationship with a triathlete has to understand the addiction!

True love will find a way.

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Cousin Elwood - Team Over-the-hill Racing
Brought to you by the good folks at Metamucil and Geritol...

I wasn't going to, but feed me too many margaritas and I'll chime in. Cha-Ching!!

Like most things, I'm very picky about women. (I was going to post a thread on the necessity of going custom!!) I only find myself attracted, really attracted in a manner that matters, to women who I'm in awe of. I tend to only be in awe of people who are very gifted, very driven, and very passionate about their talent or interest. Such people will usually inherently understand and relate to the passions of others. It is not necessary for me to share the same passions as my sig other, but it is necessary that we both have them and both respect and encourage them in each other. It's not enough for me to be with someone who supports me in what I do (and not think it's freakish). I need them to have their own passions that require my support. I find that if I'm with someone who isn't driven to push themselves in some way, I quickly get that blank stare when pressed to talk about why it is I'm into the things I'm into and why they're so important to me. I've found that if we're into the same things, then it's certainly a bonus. We get to spend more time together and on a different level. But I definitely don't think sharing those interests/passions is a requirement.

And now for the smart ass reply... "How do you balance our athletic lives with our romantic lives?" I'd go for making the romantic life more athletic. Booyah!!!

Dave

Spot on Pooks. I don't want someone living in my pocket or living off my achievements i.e. a groupie. Few of my friends are still pro surfers and quite often sport the 'trophy' type partners. Great to look at and really into their boyfriend's career but invariably can't string two sentences together about what they do/aspire to do. Needless to say, we all indulged from time to time and few develop into a more long-term arrangement.

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"Language most shows a man: Speak, that I may see thee. It springs out of the most retired and inmost parts of us, and is the image of the parents of it, the mind. No glass so mirrors a man's form or likeness so true as his speech." - Ben Jonson, Timber, or Discoveries made upon Men and Matter.

They don't have to love the sport you do, but they do have to understand that it is important to you, and be willing to support you in your efforts. My college boyfriend never really understood why I swam, or why it was important in my life. But that it was important in my life was enough, and he didn't miss a single one of my home meets over four years.

We've been married seven years now, and he's gotten into running the past couple. I'm not a huge fan of running races, but I've done a bunch of 5Ks this year with him because it's something I've discovered that turns into me supporting him in athletic endeavors these days, and that's cool.

I have a few tips for you. Triathlon is important to me but I find the companionship of a woman a necessity.

1. Get a coach who will plan your training off available weeky hours. This was the single greatest step I made towards harmony between training and romantic life. I have found most reasonable women to be cool with you having committments that don't involve them if they know when they can expect you to be available. Pre-coaching I was always open-ended ("going out for a ride with the group, be back whenever"). post-coaching more defined (" I have a 50 minute run on Thursday, I can do it in the morning and be free to meet you right after work"). OF course you have to have faith in your coach (which I do) so that you don't neurose about what you're NOT doing when you are with your s/o. I found that once I got my training set up like this, it became practically invisible to my GF.

2. Try to compartmentalize your life as much as possible. Don't wear triathlon gear everywhere you go, don't bore her with endless training stories she can't relate to, force her to spend time with your racing buddies, make all your trips tri-related, read tri publications when you are supposed to be having QT with her, etc. (You didn't suggest you were doing such things in your note but I have been guitly in the past of same). A famous triathlete once said the fastest way to a short triathlon career is a triathlon-related license plate and this is the idea here.

3. I do agree in part with the post above suggesting you not compromise your love of triathlon for a relationship....if you do give it up for her, it will create resentment later. If she really cares for you she will see how important it is to you and why would she wish you to quit something you love?? She just doesn't want to be #2 to a hobby which none of us do.

4. Don't force your lifestyle down her throat. You will teach her to become calloused and there will not be harmony in either of your lives. This will ultimately impact your triathlon whether you believe it now or not.

best of luck. balance is the key my friend.