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Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing"
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Just for swimfan, this isn’t a race report, or a DNF report…this is the patented Lazy Ben laziness report. Be warned…it came out a bit (a lot?) longer than planned and some of the photos are a bit blurry due to the extreme velocities I was travelling at…

So I haven’t really trained since this time last year. I had a good start to last season then life got in the way and the rest of the season was pretty lame although I did race quite a lot. Marathon training over the winter was sabotaged by injury and then abandoned. This was all subsequently compounded by an industrial strength mix of indolence and gluttony.

I was lucky enough to get into Escape from Alcatraz through the first drawing of the lottery and had every intention of getting back into a shape other than round for it. I even made some progress. Then I got injured again from building up the running too fast and we decided to buy a house and I started a new job so training went completely out the window again. The decision was made to do Alcatraz anyway as it might be the only chance I get at it for a while but for the first time ever I would do a race in full on tourist mode, no time goals, no racing anyone and I would carry a disposable waterproof camera for the swim and run.

The drive up from LA was uneventful apart from the sundry oblivious onanists blocking the road by overtaking someone at an extra 0.5mph. Drank far too much at dinner on Friday night, missed the ST get together at Aquatic Park on Saturday morning as I was still sound asleep. Trotted to registration, hung out with Katy and Julian, met BT and CLM, fell asleep during the athlete meeting and got sunburn. Good times.

Dinner on Saturday night with a bunch of STers. Decided that pizza helped get me into my current shape so was an appropriate pre-race meal. Didn’t get drunk though…mustn’t ruin the taper!

We were staying at Fisherman’s Wharf so the ride over to transition on race morning was easy. Set my stuff up, found Katy and Julian again and hopped on the bus over to the ferry. Had to stand around for ages before we boarded, eventually they let us on and Julian took the stairlift up to the old person’s floor of the ferry. Katy got a lot of comments for her lack of wetsuit, most people seemed to think she was nuts for some reason…

The boat ride is a bit crazy because everyone has so much nervous energy. I was trying to have a nap but there were too many people moving around. Most people put their wetsuits on really early, I was pretty warm so left it to the last minute. A trip to the restroom was enlivened by the unwelcome sight of some guy adjusting his wetsuit…doesn’t sound too bad but he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. I do hope he wasn’t a STer.

Eventually the boat circled Alcatraz once and stopped. I wrestled my wetsuit on, tucked the camera into my bibjohn, watched the pro start (pretty impressive) and then joined the throng of people pushing and shoving to jump off a perfectly good boat into the bay.

1..2..3..Go! Splash! Quick, get the hell away from the boat before you get jumped on. Start swimming, notice the water temperature (kinda cold initially but I was fine without a neoprene cap). Stop, pull up wetsuit pullover, pull out camera, take pics, replace camera, adjust wetsuit, swim a bit. Repeat.

Looking back at Alcatraz



The ferry



San Fran



Golden Gate bridge



The swim wasn’t bad. I gave up about 5 minutes between taking pictures and stopping once to lie on my back, catch a few rays and take a very enjoyable leak. Followed the sighting advice and had no problems hitting the swim exit.

Off with the wetsuit, on with the first pair of running shoes, off for the mile or so to T1. Took my sweet time in transition, ditched the camera for now and grabbed the bike.

The bike course is pretty tough for only 15 miles, more up and down than a Jenna Jameson movie. A compact would have been nice but I had at least changed my cassette. I was also glad to be on my road bike. It was very crowded most of the way round and as I wasn’t in a hurry I didn’t take any risks or push at all. The pros coming back the other way were really moving and it was nice to be able to take this in and to admire the scenery when the course and traffic conditions allowed. Riders were stopped all over the place with mechanical or tire issues.

Rolled into T2. Stopped to apply sunscreen as I’d forgotten earlier. Had a little picnic, tucked the camera into my trisuit for that sought-after extra lumpen look, stopped to talk to the missus then headed out for the 8 mile “run”. Hmmm…5 miles more than I’d run in total the previous month, this should be fun.

Followed a run a bit, walk a bit strategy initially on the flat part. Didn’t want to use up my finish line sprint just yet! Stopped at the first restroom I spotted (this was pretty easy and much nicer than a portapotty but I can see how you’d completely miss them if actually racing). Then the course started to get interesting.

Endless steps.



Evil inclines.



Alcatraz in the background



We started at sea level…



Baker beach.



The infamous sand ladder (not nearly as bad as feared).





I walked all the uphills to save my legs. Most of the second half is either downhill or flat so I was able to run(ish) most of it for a glorious negative split.

The finish chute.



A quick bite to eat, ride back to the hotel, shower and back on the road home. Sorry I missed everyone afterwards.

All in all it's a fantastic, if crowded, race. Great course (if you're in shape anyway), excellent volunteers and a large and vocal crowd. we got good weather this year too.

Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. - MattinSF

Basically they have 9 tenants, live life to the fullest, do not turn the cheak, and embrace the 7 deadly since. - TheForge (on satanists)
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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Best race report pics ever!


______________________________________________________

Proud Founder of the Jamis Mafia- Daring to be different.
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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you gotta tell me, what kind of camera did you use to take pictures during the swim?





Where would you want to swim ?
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [gregX] [ In reply to ]
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Kodak disposable waterproof...about 8 bucks at most drugstores

http://www.kodak.com/...&pq-locale=en_US

Only flaw is it's useless indoors. The pictures I took on the ferry didn't turn out well at all. To be fair it does tell you this on the box.

Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. - MattinSF

Basically they have 9 tenants, live life to the fullest, do not turn the cheak, and embrace the 7 deadly since. - TheForge (on satanists)
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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I can't believe you took pics while swimming!!! Good for you. THis is the best report I have read in a while :)
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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What? No bike pics? Soft... ;)



blood, sweat...and big gears

I hated every minute of training, but I said, ''Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.''
- Muhammad Ali
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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Great photos! Really nice to meet you guys.

clm

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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I'm glad you posted this. I didn't see a lot of that stuff on the run. I just showed my girlfriend and she was very appreciative, as well....and she thinks you're a riot.
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [show pony] [ In reply to ]
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What? No bike pics? Soft... ;)

Yeah, I'm a puss :)

Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. - MattinSF

Basically they have 9 tenants, live life to the fullest, do not turn the cheak, and embrace the 7 deadly since. - TheForge (on satanists)
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [trackie clm] [ In reply to ]
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You too!

Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. - MattinSF

Basically they have 9 tenants, live life to the fullest, do not turn the cheak, and embrace the 7 deadly since. - TheForge (on satanists)
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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This is a great race report, next year when everyone is talking about Alcatraz we need to bump this thread.
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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What is this? Only swim and run? Where is the bike????
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [swimfan] [ In reply to ]
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I couldn't fit the camera in my bento box!

Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. - MattinSF

Basically they have 9 tenants, live life to the fullest, do not turn the cheak, and embrace the 7 deadly since. - TheForge (on satanists)
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
I couldn't fit the camera in my bento box!

Now THAT is not true! You can fit whole days worth of groceries in this baby.


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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [swimfan] [ In reply to ]
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Great report...I like the "tourist" angle of it. At least you have a new achievable goal for yourself, in that you can "race" next time. I am surprised no one else spit their drink out on their pc yet with your "up and down like JJ" comment :)
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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Ben, great "race" report. Mind if I use some of your swim/run" pictures?

I'm glad I was upstairs in the VIP (Very Incontinent People) section of the boats away from naked guys, that must have made for an interesting T1!

Very smooth of you to stop at the start of the finish chute to take a photo!

Regards to the missus.


"How bad can it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [JulianInEngland] [ In reply to ]
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Hey Julian, use away, my rates are the same as David Bailey's!

Plenty of time and space to stop, there was nobody around me at the finish. All the team in training people had already dropped me :)

Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. - MattinSF

Basically they have 9 tenants, live life to the fullest, do not turn the cheak, and embrace the 7 deadly since. - TheForge (on satanists)
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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Dropped by "the purple peril" how embarrassing. Good job you didn't spit out any cake swearing at them as they passed ;-)

I am experiencing my jet lag now as have been up since 0450 to get "reaady" for my 0630 masters swim! Crap!


"How bad can it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [JulianInEngland] [ In reply to ]
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The one thing I would have done differently is to carry some cash. Then I could have stopped and had an ice cream.

Jet lag is the worst. Enjoy your swim, make sure to wax your head first for maximum hydrodynamics!

Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. - MattinSF

Basically they have 9 tenants, live life to the fullest, do not turn the cheak, and embrace the 7 deadly since. - TheForge (on satanists)
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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Wax, my arse, I use a mach3 on the head daily! I just had my first Americano of the week, hope no-one wants a written report this week!

Right, I'm off to the pool. Toodle-pip, old bean ;-)


"How bad can it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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Fantastic Ben. I love your attitude...basically, you're out there for fun. A nice contrast to those that are devastated if they don't meet a particular time goal.

------------------
My business-eBodyboarding.com
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [TriBodyboarder] [ In reply to ]
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Thanks Jay, sorry I managed to miss you all weekend. I'd rather have had your race but this seemed to be a good way to approach this particular set of circumstances.

Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. - MattinSF

Basically they have 9 tenants, live life to the fullest, do not turn the cheak, and embrace the 7 deadly since. - TheForge (on satanists)
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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I think everyone should do at least one race a year this way. Great lesson in having fun. Hilarious!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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Ben....excellent report and pics!
Nice to meet you out there!
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Re: Lazy Ben's Alcatraz Laziness Report with pics taken while "racing" [Lazy Ben] [ In reply to ]
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Those photos are super cool. It is like doing the race! The kind of blurry view of the sand ladder is exactly how you see it in the race- kind of crooked and blurry by the time you get there.

Super good report. Thanks for putting that up here. Awesome.

Tom Demerly
The Tri Shop.com
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