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Confessions of a Mom
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Five years ago I was at the peak of my athletic ability as a Triathlete, Runner, cyclist. Ultra-competitive hardly describes how I was - I would get ticked off when 'boys' beat me. I loved racing, loved going up against the best to see just how far I could push myself.

Then I had two daughters within 18 months of each other and since that time haven't raced (outside of a few running races). The obvious reason is lack of time to really train. My girls keep me plenty busy and I decided that intensive training/racing could wait until they were older. I don't regret my decision at all. With that said, here is my confession...

I LOVE being a mom, but I do miss participating in local races. Reasons I haven't: I'm 15 pounds heavier than I was 5 years ago (something I'm working on but the friggin scale keeps jerking me around - double fingering it in the morning has become far to common, but that is story all on its own), there is no way I'll be able to compete like I had, and I HATE the looks some tri-
acquaintances give me when I see them - "you poor thing, let yourself go much". Bottom line, I have a huge hang-up regarding my pride and I know I have to get over it because I really miss making myself 'hurt' - even if hurting involves participating rather than winning.

Wheew....I feel 5 pounds lighter. Perhaps tomorrow will only be a single finger day to the scale? Who knows.

____________________________
Life is Short...Run Long
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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Confessions of a non-mother... I also have a tendency to finger the scale! When I read that I thought about the episode of Sex & The City where Berger double-fingers his answering machine. Makes me laugh. I, like you, have some pride issues that I'm trying to get over. One day...


______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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once your kids are a little older it'll be easier- you'll be back if you want it bad enough... I did... I raced elite for 12 yrs and then had kids-2 boys, 2 yrs apart- I took 10 yrs off- I'm back in my 2nd year- the break was good, my perspective has changed quite a bit- I now just race to see if I can get my times down to what they were before- even 10 yrs older-it has taken me 2 yrs though of solid intense15-18hr training weeks for HIM to get back in shape, 2 marathons and racing year round- I think after my race this weekend I'll look for one more goal race this year and then just train to stay fit. I'm also picking unique races, unique distances and that kinda stuff- I also look for the weekend family outing race.
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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Imagine one of your daughter's as a young adult. She has been competing very successfully at a sport for several years and doing quite well. Then, she needs to take a break for school, she puts on some weight and stops working out as hard. Now she wants to go back to competing, but she's no where near where she was before. Would you tell her not to compete? Wouldn't you tell her she should just get out there and do it? Why wait? Just because she's not at the same point she was? She has to start somewhere, right? You would be very proud of her just competing, even if it meant she was twice as slow as before. Right?

So, if you would give that advice to your daughter and you would be very proud of her just getting back out there, then why don't you give yourself the same break? Us women often treat ourselves so much worse than we would our worst enemies. We never give ourselves a break. We always expect too much of ourselves. There's no way we can be successful if we're always expecting more.

Just get out there and race. You enjoy it, so why are you stopping yourself? So what if you're heavier than before. Show those other triathletes what it's like to have a balanced life where you are a mother, wife and athlete. You will have your daughters cheering for you at the finish line. That is so much better than getting some dumb trophy for 1st in age group.

And, most importantly, you will be giving your daughters an invaluable role model. You don't want them growing up thinking they should only try something if they can win. Get over it. You need to get out there and race so your daughters learn from you.
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [DawnT] [ In reply to ]
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that's a great slap of perspective! love it; some terrific advice in there...hope nobody minds if i take a little of that for my own heart!
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [DawnT] [ In reply to ]
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God Bless you Dawn!!! You are so RIGHT!!! That was a good slap of reality just where I needed it. There is a local sprint Mt. bike tri July 5th (QRgirl from this forum and a good friend of mine keeps telling me to sign up) and I'll be signing up today!!! Seeing my daughters faces as I cross the finish line will be so much better than any stupid 1st place award.
Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!

____________________________
Life is Short...Run Long
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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Well it doesn't help to have workouts planned with freinds who forget their bike shoes and leave you hanging ;-)

I think (hope) if you do the race in July, you will realize how fun it is just to be back out there no matter how you do. That's how I felt at the April race. I was super nervous and kind of cabby going into it, then adjusted my attiatude to have fun. Was I slower than ususal, yep 15 minutes slower than 2006, did I have some chub (you've seen it with your own eyes) hanging over my tri shorts, yep, did I have fun, absolutely. Did I get and AG award YES! Thank god we live in a small town with a light AG. :-)
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [DawnT] [ In reply to ]
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Thanks Mom. I think we all needed that. In fact I am going to print that post out and put it on my desk, just to remind me, everyday, that I'm a good enough person to participate in the human race, let alone some goofy tri. ;-)

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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Great advice Dawn! Wolfpack, I just raced 15 pounds heavier than I used to and I had a blast! I took a year and a half off from racing (long story) and decided enough is enough! I stuffed myself into some trishorts and had a great time. I did end up with shin splints though so be careful about ramping up to race too quickly.

There was a moment during the run where I had to battle my mind to keep going and once the race was done I was most proud of working through those rough patches and not giving up. Don't you miss challenging yourself? You may not be first across the finish line but you will still be competitive compared to the majority and your girls will be so proud to have an active mom. Best wishes to you!
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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Good for you Wolf! Remember, you have 2 little people now to show what it means to be fit and healthy. I'm 48 and have 2 daughters aged 15 & 19. I was fairly competitive at track back in the 70's (yikes, that makes me feel old!). It took me years to get to a place mentally where I became happy to just be out at races and events "participating" more than "competing". You'll get there too - I'm in triathlon for FUN and to stay fit and healthy.
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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             Every time I am running along in the last few miles of some random Ironman or Ultra I always think that I would trade in being in the top 5 or 10% to have the support of a family on the side of the road.All those "Go Mommy" and "Go Daddy" signs really get to me as after 22 years of racing I have family members at a race of mine a total of three times.I can't see that changing for me but for you there is a whole new reason to go out there and train and even race now that you have a young family to be healthy for.I know it is hard to get back into it again after putting on weight but just imagine how happy you will be when you are running down to the finish with your little girls yelling out"Go Mommy,Go!!".Surely that is more than motivation enough.
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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Ms. Wolffpack and I just got done with a 35 mile ride. She kicked my booty on the climbs. It was a great morning!
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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Hi Wolffpack! I've got a few too, and am kind of happy I hadn't found tri before I had them.. it would have been hard to quit!

But this time when they are little will fly, and you will never ever regret time spent with the kids. You'll come back and kick all the boys' asses soon!

I don't even get on the dumb scale anymore. Sometimes I swear at it when I walk by it..
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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Probably in some ways I can't relate to your situation because I have never been competitive. Especially on the run. I'm not overweight, but in a way that just makes it worse because I am just so darn slow. Who really cares about people petty enough to look at you funny cuz you put on some 'baby weight'! Geez they're the bungholios!! As Dr. Suess always said "Those who care don't matter and those who matter won't care"! You go girl, do your thing. In a way making yourself doing it when you know you might be dead last in your age group is pretty satisfying too.

Oh and let me say that although I am not fast, I have been running since before my second daughter was born, ran through my pregnancy, etc. It was hard when my daughter was little to find time to run, sitters, etc. I even took the playpen to the track a few times. She's 19 now and went through a couple of years of serious, scarey partying. Thing that brought her back around...?? Triathlon! I talked her into trying one, she used my bike, hardly trained but fell in love with it.

Your kids watch what you do and in a way, it is how they set the bar for expectations for themselves.



Nor do I use punctuation in the way a child sprinkles glitter over a ribbon of glue on construction paper - Trash Talk
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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Hey there wolffpack,
Fast forward yourself about 7/8 years, to my life....my girls are 9 & 11, and have watched my husband and I race for the last 4 years....they love it. Race themselves or volunteer, have incredible self esteem, relish in beating boys and high five their girl pals when they finish. They have amazing body images, something I hope they can keep thru their teens (although I still too, behind closed doors constantly double finger the scale...in fact I'm sitting at my desk thinking about how much I hate the way it must be lying to me)!
But, I cannot tell you how much fun I had pushing them in swings at the beach playground, playing hopscotch, building fairy houses in the woods behind my house, and baking cookies (and eating half the batter - hence the issue with the scale). And, I still relish these moments, when they decide they still want to be little girls....only to find them both riding down the main street on their road bikes searching for mommy on her long rides.
As an RD, my heart strings get tugged when I see a Dad and his teenage daughter both getting ready in transition....and to see my older friends start triathlon because of their children who are my age. Teach them well, teach them about sportsmanship, and show them who you are....a strong confident mom, who chose them and put everything else aside to be a MOM!
For my girls and I, Triathlon is something we will share forever...you too will have something to share with them that will last forever.

Kat Donatello
2015 Betty Designs Team
RD, The Pumpkinman Triathlon Festival
http://www.pumpkinmantriathlon.com/
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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Hello Wolffpack,

I understand your sentiment as I am a mum of three (aged 1, 3 and 5) and prior to children I loved to run. It is probably fair to describe me as competitive having played international hockey (field hockey) since the age of 14 and run at a national level when I was at school. I am now loving being a mum but have gone through all sorts of emotions as you tend to leave a side of yourself behind when you have children which I can only describe as the more selfish side of me which indulged in myself by committing all my spare time to sport of some sort. Anyway, although I ran and swam through each pregnancy, I did find it difficult to drag myself out of my pathetic post-pregnancy state while simulateously mourning the pre-pregnancy superfit runner I used to be. Albeit a runner that was prone to injury through overtraining! So after number 3 I decided to get into triathlon which is a sport I had always wanted to get into but been put off by the openwater swimming as I live in the UK (bbrrrrr!) It was however a way of focusing myself on losing baby weight and gaining fitness in a sport that I was new to so I couldn't compare my running times to my tri times as they were not strictly comparable. Just three races in and I am hooked! I have been bitterly disappointed with some performances but I have come to realise that is less to do with my performance than my personality. I have also managed to shift the baby weight and get toned in a way that I never would have had I simply returned to running. I have also worked out time management in a way far better than I could have done had I not bothered to juggle training with looking after three kids. I am working on being realistic about what I can achieve as I only have a day a week without any kids attached to me so, for example, my swimming training is limited and my cycling tends to be on the hybrid pulling a trailer with kids in or on the turbo trainer. But I don't mind running everywhere to get fit as this is my preferred sport anyway! Plus it gives me an excuse as to why I have underperformed :-) (intensive training can prove difficult unless you are without any kids in tow, literally, as my 3 year old demands conversation...)

Sorry for the waffle but I hope you can see what I am saying which is this: you loved racing and clearly still do as you are missing it. So say goodbye to the athlete you were before children and embrace the one you can become today as an athlete with children. It comes with all sorts of new issues such as those I have mentioned above as well as many others (I am racing with tendonitis developed from muscle weaknesses as a result of three pregnancies and probably a little extra weight exacerbating my overpronation when I run) but that is part of it all isn't it? Certainly it isn't a reason to give it all up when you enjoy sport as much as I do and you sound as if you do. Go for it! And don't look back.

Good luck.

MrsR
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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I too have two girls, but their ages are 17 & 19. I have ran loads of short races, 9 marathons and lots of half-marathons. I am just entering the tri-world but I didn't start doing these things until my girls were school age. Having said that I wished I had started earlier. My girls joke that I will be pushing my grandkiddies in a baby jogger. I know they are proud of me because allthough they are typical teenagers (a little cranky) they are always cheering me when they can, in my races. I have been told by others they actually bragg about their mom and her accomplishments. Keep going, don't worry about the weight, your girls don't care!! Those looks you get might be from someone that wishes they had what you do.
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [Ultra-tri-guy] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
Every time I am running along in the last few miles of some random Ironman or Ultra I always think that I would trade in being in the top 5 or 10% to have the support of a family on the side of the road.All those "Go Mommy" and "Go Daddy" signs really get to me as after 22 years of racing I have family members at a race of mine a total of three times.I can't see that changing for me but for you there is a whole new reason to go out there and train and even race now that you have a young family to be healthy for.I know it is hard to get back into it again after putting on weight but just imagine how happy you will be when you are running down to the finish with your little girls yelling out"Go Mommy,Go!!".Surely that is more than motivation enough.
That would do it for me. My family never comes to races either. I think I would bust out in tears of joy/happiness if my oldest daughter was holding "go mom" sign.
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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[I HATE the looks some tri-acquaintances give me when I see them - "you poor thing, let yourself go much".]
I am a guy but I find your tri-acquaintances quite pathetic. Being a mom has wonderful rewards, unfortunately it is very demanding. & while winning a race here or there is great, raising wonderful kids is priceless!

Fred.
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Re: Confessions of a Mom [wolffpack] [ In reply to ]
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I was a good xcountry skier in college-raced on a top 10 team. Now married with two kids and much the same as you-out of shape(for me) and heavier. It does get easier when they get a little older and especially when they can participate with you. It is a joy to share love of the outdoors, sports, and fitness with your kids. Yah you won't be as fast but you will still enjoy it. It is hard not being at the top of the heap, but there is a lot less stress too. The important thing is to start back and not care what anyone else thinks about you but you. You are still in better shape than almost all people! My daughter is now 7, and for the last two years she has set up her own triathlons in our yard-she runs through the sprinkler, rides her bike, and then runs. This year she is finally old enough to do a kid's tri and can't wait. Also, doing things for yourself is important-it makes you happy and in turn makes your family happier.
Krista
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