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Pity Party
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Ug. I have a b-day this week and will be living up the last of my 30's this year. I haven't had a date since my live-in BF and I broke up last spring/summer and there is not even a glimmer of a date on the horizon. As I was putting on self tanner post shower last night, I realized it's not just the hair on my head that is getting gray. I keep looking in the mirror and thinking of the Botox thread. I've been in tears all day. Boo-hoo woe is me.

I know that I'm very fortunate compared to many people, but today is a pity part day. What do you all do to get out of a funk?
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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Poor Erin! I have no real advice for you except to say that you are fabulous, not old at all and men are idiots to not be dating you! :-D

M

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The beatings will continue until morale improves
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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Go hang out with hot young boys! Or, even better--you'll soon be hanging out with US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com
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Re: Pity Party [ironclm] [ In reply to ]
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The last time I was friendly to a hot young boy he asked if I was cougarizing him...
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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What's up with the couger nickname? I don't hear insulting nicknames applied to the myriad men who date younger women. (Other than the ones in my head... )

M

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The beatings will continue until morale improves
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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You tell him, "Hell yeah, you're being cougarized!" and challenge his 20 year old testosterone level to keep up with your peaking sex drive.
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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             I'm sure you will be just fine.Go hang out with your girlfriends for a while for some support.Red wine and romantic comedies have seen me through my huge girlfriend drought.Datless five years and counting!!!I am the biggest loser!
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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It's a bummer you feel this way. Keep your head up! Go out w/ your friends and do something indulgent...nice dinner, dessert, sporting event, etc. Something that really excites you. FWIW, I know how you feel...I too get pretty down about this stuff.

Nick: I think you've beat my record....I thought I had the longest drought. I now feel a bit better :)
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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Shopping and chocolate. Sounds shallow but it really works for me when I'm in a funk. Something about treating myself to something shows me that I deserve it. Kind of like buying a present for a friend that you really love.

For less financial drain, I love to paint my toenails and watch a movie. There is something metative about painting toenails when you do the full pedi. It really is caring for your body and showing self love and respect.

I try to avoid a big overeating jag because that only makes me feel worse about myself in the long run. Drinking heavily produces the same result.

You can also do the old fashioned route and take stock of all you have intead of all you don't have. You might not have everything you want but you have more than you might think you do. It isn't about "think of those less fortunate than you", think about how fortunate you are.

I'm in my last 30th year too. Somehow adding that 9 after the 3 has really thrown me for a loop. I know how fortunate I am so no regrets but I am facing the fact that my body is aging. The skin on my face is sagging, the boobs are really pathetic, I have lots of lines around my eyes and my hands look suprisingly old. My personal trainer actually told me today that lifting weights is really important for me...because...well....he smiled. I know what he meant. BECAUSE OF MY AGE!

One way you are fortunate is to have a community of incredible women, and men, at your fingertips. Think of all the interesting people we "rub elbows" with every day on this board. Wow.

I'm sending a virtual cupcake your way!

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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Erin honey, no offense, but men are idiots. don't let the bastards get you down. seriously, you're so fab, don't sweat it. this little bit of blues you got can be changed up lickety split.

my best advice is to take a couple of days off and do whatever you want. treat yourself big and make yourself feel better. i find that when i'm "down" on myself, it's because i've been doing a ton of other crap besides take care of myself--times like that i feel bad and look bad too. now, i'm not saying you look bad, because we all know you is a smokin womans. but i know you work hard, and perhaps a little self love is whachya need.

so no need for botox or any other fake crap in your face. you probably just need some good eats, some TLC, a fun night out with the girls, and a pair of sexy high heels so you can shake it.

turn it around baby, you know you can. pile on the spoils! hell, it's your birthday, you deserve it!

happy birthday!
joanne
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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What is this "cougarizing" of which you speak? If it's what I think it is, it doesn't sound like a bad thing at all! ;-)

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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I think you should invite ultra-tri-guy or matti58 on a date. They both sound like total sweethearts!
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Re: Pity Party [Oleander] [ In reply to ]
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First thing I plan on telling my daughter (When i have one) is that "Boys are dumb". :D

It'll get better, I was 36, never married and starting to be resigned to being an eternal bachelor when I got snagged. (She's 16 years younger than I am, talk about a shock!) Your "right guy" is out there, you'll know him when you see him. ;p

Oh, and you can always take the attitude that i did when i turned 40, "Woohoo, i moved up an age group!! Now I'M the young stud!!"

John



Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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Erin, I'm sorry you are feeling down right now. You know you are a total catch, you've got it together with your life and goals, you're cute and fashionable, and you have a great personality. You don't need to change a thing, you are a total find just waiting to be found. I wish it would happen for you right now just like I wish certain things would happen for me right now. It's a journey, let's have some fun on the way!

I wish you didn't feel sad about aging, you look 8-10 years younger than you are and you should be SO happy about that!

**Plus you have a great rack!** ;)

Love you!
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Re: Pity Party [Oleander] [ In reply to ]
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I second this.
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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BTW - What the heck are you doing in Prosser?? Doesn't sound like there would be a whole lot of dating prospects there :-)

Next time you are in the Seattle area I'll treat you to a real cupcake.

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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what day's your birthday? Mine's tomorrow - maybe we are birthday twins!!!

sending some ((((hugs)))) your way.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Pity Party [trailbait] [ In reply to ]
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true dat!
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Re: Pity Party [kittycat] [ In reply to ]
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I couldn't agree more,that's why I don't date them!!Not that there is anything wrong with that. ;)

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Erin honey, no offense, but men are idiots. don't let the bastards get you down.
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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To get out of a funk - a fun mountian bike ride. or shopping. or go have my hair colored, cut, and a manicure/pedicure... something nice for myself.

Don't fret - 40's are fabulous!

Cheryl
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Re: Pity Party [Oleander] [ In reply to ]
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                   Thank you,that's a big first for me here on ST.I can cook and clean and I'm housebroken already.BTW what happened to Mattis' new girl?I was kind of hoping he was being distracted from training for the Double Iron in July.
What's the latest Matti?


In Reply To:
I think you should invite ultra-tri-guy or matti58 on a date. They both sound like total sweethearts!
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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I turned 40 in 2006. It was also the first year I did my first half Ironman at Eagleman. That year ended up being one of my best ever and 2007 was even better yet. The thought of turning 40 is worse than the actual birthday.

My suggestion: pick a BIG goal for this year- something you have always wanted to do or were afraid to try and then do it - be it a particular triathlon or something else entirely.

Dating is difficult as we get older, I admit. I kind of the like the idea of being a cougar, though - could be a lot of fun!

fitzie
konaboundstacy.blogspot.com
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Re: Pity Party [fitzie] [ In reply to ]
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>>I kind of the like the idea of being a cougar, though - could be a lot of fun! <<

Oh yes,

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com
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Re: Pity Party [trailbait] [ In reply to ]
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Erin, I'm sorry you are feeling down right now. You know you are a total catch, you've got it together with your life and goals, you're cute and fashionable, and you have a great personality. You don't need to change a thing, you are a total find just waiting to be found. I wish it would happen for you right now just like I wish certain things would happen for me right now. It's a journey, let's have some fun on the way!

I wish you didn't feel sad about aging, you look 8-10 years younger than you are and you should be SO happy about that!

**Plus you have a great rack!** ;)

I can't say it any better than this, Erin. I completely agree with everything Erika has said. Don't get down about turning 40. I happen to think the 40's is when many women really come into their own.
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Re: Pity Party [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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Thanks all. The pity party is semi-officially over. I got all teary reading your kind replies though.

It's a beautiful day here and I plan on loading up my bike and going for a ride after work. I've got a facial scheduled tomorrow, then working out with my mom while my dad cooks us dinner.

I know that my life is great, but sometimes the aging/being single & dateless/hairs are graying can be overwhelming and depressing.

Cheers to you all for cheering me up.

E.

PS Matt if you were here, I'd date you for sure ;-)
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