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Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job
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I got a seasonal job working at a high-end chain store I have loved for years. The staff are great, but some of the customers are entitled dickheads, male and female. I haven't worked in retail since 1992 so my ability to efficiently deal with asshole comments thrown my way is non-existent. Any suggestions for some one-liners that will clam up people who have nothing better to do than to insult the person who is sincerely trying to help them?

Or, just tell me your best retail job story to cheer me up and avoid a meltdown before the end of the month.
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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [Furiosa] [ In reply to ]
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Email this guy for suggestions

https://abovethelaw.com/...AgCozUcmnKQ&rf=1
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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [windywave] [ In reply to ]
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windywave wrote:
Email this guy for suggestions

https://abovethelaw.com/...AgCozUcmnKQ&rf=1

-1 point for a lazy response, using a link from a different topic!

Please try again.
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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [Furiosa] [ In reply to ]
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Furiosa wrote:
windywave wrote:
Email this guy for suggestions

https://abovethelaw.com/...AgCozUcmnKQ&rf=1

-1 point for a lazy response, using a link from a different topic!

Please try again.

But for my lazy response you'd have no response
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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [Furiosa] [ In reply to ]
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Having worked seasonal retail eons ago we were always instructed that 'the customer is always right', in other words we sucked it up and smiled our way through it. The paradigm has shifted a bit these days so if they're dickish go ahead and call them on it i.e. 'Sir/Madam - that comment doesn't really make me want to help you.' If that doesn't work well...


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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [Furiosa] [ In reply to ]
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My dad worked retail later in his career after retiring from the military. He kept a can of Fart Spray and a whoopie cushion behind the counter.







Chris
*********************
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
― Hunter S. Thompson,
Last edited by: Smil'n Hawaiian: Dec 7, 19 8:21
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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [Furiosa] [ In reply to ]
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While I was in school I worked uniformed security for a department store one Christmas. My job was really to walk around and be noticed and occasionally answer a question or two about were to find some product. Once day I was working near the loading dock when this cute little 8 year old girl came in and asked if this is where she picked up her Xmas tree. I directed her to the desk and one of the guys helped her out with a beautiful fake white tree.

Turned out later she scammed the guy with a fake receipt. Merry Christmas.

"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [Furiosa] [ In reply to ]
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People are dicks. Unrelated to Christmas I took my wife to JCPenney for sheets and towels today. They were having a really good sale and we were down to the last two sets of sheets without rips.

We pick out a big pile of stuff and go to check out. Middle age guy working the floor directs us to the line. The line that went forever. I went back to my wife who is using a cane after a recent hip replacement. Told her to have a seat and take my coat because it was going to be a while. Same guy overhears me and calls me over to a register in the curtain/blind design center and starts checking me out (no, not that way you perverts). I can hear the woman who has been working with the design people just pissing and moaning and bitching about every damn thing, including signing the estimate and signing the policy that there are no returns on custom jobs. Just being a bitch about it for no reason at all. A couple people come by and get pissed when they can't skip the line and have this guy check them out. He is working the floor and not supposed to be running a register. Me and the guy exchange a couple eyerolls and laughs. As he gets done ringing me up the guy asks if I have a coupon. I don't. He says I think I have one that will work. Knocked my bill from $330+ to $245. I thank him profusely, we exchange Merry Christmases and he goes back to hearing people bitch at him.

I left talking to my wife about these poor bastards having to put up with people being such dicks to them while they are making probably $10/hour. I wouldn't last 10 minutes before I told them to fuck off and quit.

I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.
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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [j p o] [ In reply to ]
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Someone suggested to me that I pretend I am watching a play, totally detached from the action and letting the BS bounce off of me. Luckily today everyone was pretty chill, but all hell will break loose soon enough. I will stick with this job for the month as the staff discount is awesome and I need a new pair (or 2, or 3) of shoes.

Alternate fun times will be frustrating potential shoplifters who, once identified, will find themselves showered with excellent, unrelenting service from all of the staff. Although, the guy with the bike helmet going through every single display with a fine-tooth comb for 3 hours was no thief, just weird.
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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [Furiosa] [ In reply to ]
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I saw this, and thought that it was a good place to post this. This is one of my coworkers, I was about 15 feet away when it all happened, and I can say she, and the police officers that were in the building, were incredible. Talk about “above your pay grade.”

https://www.khq.com/...df-27929286e1aa.html
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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [Koala Bear] [ In reply to ]
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Given this happened on Thanksgiving, the rest of the customers in line were probably complaining about the hold up.
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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [torrey] [ In reply to ]
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torrey wrote:
Given this happened on Thanksgiving, the rest of the customers in line were probably complaining about the hold up.
Honestly, I had those customers. And at that point, I didn’t have much patience left for them...
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Re: Joys of the Seasonal Retail Job [j p o] [ In reply to ]
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j p o wrote:
People are dicks. Unrelated to Christmas I took my wife to JCPenney for sheets and towels today. They were having a really good sale and we were down to the last two sets of sheets without rips.


RayGovett
Hughson CA
Be Prepared-- Strike Swiftly -- Who Dares Wins- Without warning-"it will be hard. I can do it"
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