No, it's not you. In the same boat here. I've found that I can keep my running fitness in good shape and/or improve, but I doubt I could do multisport at a high level. I'm doing about 60~80min per day of running with a 1 and 3yr old. Most of it is at lunch, however. If I couldn't run at lunch, not sure I'd run at all.. I like to sleep in (to a whole 5:30am when they wake up) and I'm too worn out at night. I'm really banking on the dynamic changing in a few years and getting a small bit of life zapped back into me.

My wife and I traded off when we had one kid and could train at a high level then, but with two.. it's five times harder it seems. People on Instagram who have five kids and are magically training 15 hours a week.. yeah, sure. I'm sure some people can do it, but I would feel pretty guilty being away from my kids all that time, and/or leaving all that work with my wife.

Don't worry, it gets easier, and you get much better at it. Just chill. Run when you can, bike and swim when you can. An IM is probably not gonna happen for a while but you have a lot of time.

haha yeah 15 hrs/wk...more like 3 hrs/wk. I can't train at lunch with my job, and getting up any earlier is not in the cards. At least not until the youngest starts sleeping through the night. Maybe all these Instagram fitness/tri people have easy/no jobs, 24/7 child care...or more likely are full of sh#t :)

Haha yeh, I went from 20hours a week and 9hour IM to barely a few hours a week training and could barely run down the street a year later. Wife keeps telling me to go out and train, but after being woken 3 times a night I can’t be arsed!

No problem,just turn Pro and be like Radka....:-)

https://www.humaninterestgroup.org/...-athlete-of-the-year

Not just you. Been there, and am still there. Just as my oldest is getting faster than me and a lot of fun to train with we took on a couple of young foster kids. So until the situation with the foster kids is resolved multi-sport is off the table.

For me that meant concentrating on cycling and dabbling in running. Swimming will have to wait.


The jogging stroller works wonders. And once the oldest is able to bike along while you run you can cover a lot of ground. We used to set up the high chair next to the trainer and stuff cherrios in their mouths while we spin.

You didn't know this before you decided to have kids?

How would you know this until you had kids?

I remember laying in bed listening to that little baby scream and threatening each other not to go get them until they had cried for a solid hour. That was torture for us but both our kids slept through the night (ish) by 3 months. I'm no expert, just a story about my kids and my hard hard heart.

Oh I'm all about sleep training once we get clearance from the pediatrician. It worked wonders for my son, he sleep like a rock now...11-12 hrs straight.

Not being able to exercise at lunch is def a problem.
We have two kids, and my job allows me to take 1 - 1.5 hours at lunch if needed to exercise. Aside from that, many many many 5AM rides, and some late night rides. And that has been for the past 7 years (kids are now 8 and 11).
I'd also add that the training is pretty much my social life too, so no other stuff away from the family!

I can only assume that those 'Instagram fitness' people doing loads of hours must:
1. Have a very understanding spouse that does most of the child care
2. Not give a crap about spending time with their kids..

clearance from a doctor? hell man, you ARE a doctor. Let'er rip. ;-)

I used to work for an older gentleman who was fond of saying, "small kids, small problems; big kids, big problems". I didn't fully appreciate that until the last few years. I have two girls, 11 and 13, and when they were babies I got zero sleep and barely managed to walk to the mailbox for exercise. I always thought that it would get better, and it did, for a few years, but now, now they are on swim team, and cross country, and fencing, and track, and ski club, ad infinitum. Now the older one wants to be a triathlete, so we put her on a junior team and cart her around to training and racing. Combine that with my training and racing along with my wife's training and racing, both of us work full time, and well, it gets hectic. Not sure this is making you feel better, but, the point is that it does get better. The challenges change, but become manageable. Right now you are in a vortex of chaos, but it will get better. Just keep moving, as much as you can. Be a good example for them and it will all fall into place soon enough. Best of luck, keep your head up.

Also a big challenge for me since our second arrived (now age 2). In addition to sleep issues, there are all the upper respiratory infections from day care that just sap energy. With our first, I found that improved around age 4, and I was able to get in some solid long course training. With the second kid, I've had a couple of okay marathon training blocks to check off bucket-list races, but that is it. I've also found that even with (what we think of) minimal training, it's possible to have fun and be somewhat competitive at local sprint races.

I started a new job 5 weeks back, and with 2 young kids in the house, a 90 min commute each way, and a demanding job, the training I was doing isn't sustainable anymore. I set my alarm earlier, do what I can everyday and accept that my semi charmed trilife is going to have to take a backseat to my family and my career for a few years now. I think as long as you treat this sport as a lifestyle (sustain a daily routine, get in your minimum workouts), you will be able to maintain enough base to get back into it when the time comes. I plan to still race smaller stuff and a few HIMs, and I stupidly signed up for St George IM next year, but I also hope that come winter, that will give me the motivation to get up even earlier and spend the required time. For now, I'm going to take a few months easy and see if a routine can solidify.

It will get better, just keep optimizing your time.

I trained (and raced) triathlon and Iron distance through two young kids. Who are now 4 and 8. In fact I did an Ironman 1 week after my youngest was born.

You might wonder how I neglected my wife...but I didn't. Racing was important enough to me that what I gave up was the fun part of it and when I needed to I adjusted my time.

Fun? Yeah... those 5-6 hour rides on the weekend? They became 10 mile loops around my house until my wife messaged that she needed something or until she woke up from her nap. My long runs because 2.27 mile loops around my block. I wanted to be around in the morning to help so my swims were 30-45 minutes at lunch.

So fun weekend rides, monotonous runs, and quick lunch swims were just what I had to do to get through it.

I was often very tired. And when I needed to I recognized when sleep needed to trump whatever it was I was doing. If my only kid at the time kept me up and I only got 4 hours of sleep. Then I dialed back a workout or skipped it all together.

While it has become a lot easier as my kids are older. I still try to adopt that mindset. Trying to be flexible with my time, prioritizing my family and rest. Most importantly having the mindset that no single workout or tired day defines your training. It's consistency that will help you reach whatever potential you have with your time.

If you have to dial it back to shorter races or dial back your goals for your family - then it's worth it. Kids grow up fast. You can always race later in life. Age groups basically never end!

You single? What's the other parent doing to help (or not)?

My kids are 4 and 3. I’m just now getting back into form and have lost most of the sympathetic baby weight. I ran with some success when they were young, but definitely lost a majority of my run fitness and former speed. I also travel extensively for work (half the year) and work long 12-16 hour days when travelling. This meant that either the kids or work left me exhausted often. I’m just now entertaining the idea of a half iron. I did an FTP test the other day as a baseline to a build and was 60 watts behind where I used to be. It’s quite deflating but I finally feel like I may have the time to fight my way back to form. I manage about 5-6 workouts a week for about 6-8 hours a week. Far less than my former 10-20 hour weeks. I feel like a half iron in 2020 is in the cards. Hopefully a full when I turn 50 in a few years. Lots of good advice here, prioritize sleep and family, and train when you can. A smart trainer and Zwift subscription was a huge help and indoor training in general has been a big help in using time wisely. I’m not gonna lie though... I miss the big weekend workouts followed by laying on the couch all afternoon, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Well except for getting fat after the kids were born and I kept eating like I was still training!

Patience is key. You’ll figure out how to manage once you’re in a comfortable groove with being a parent. In my humble opinion, being fit is pointless if my wife and kids hate me (or worse yet leave me). I have a good groove now but it took communication and understanding. My wife knows training makes me more sane so we worked on a plan that suits everyone. Communication and understanding are key for those with crazy work schedules.

I guess there's a sweet spot in life when the kids are away, you manage an early retirement and you're still young enough to train without hurting yourself. There's always a lot of 50-59 year olds at every race and some of them are super fit. After that you can still be an athlete but now the wild cards fall out of the deck; cancer, heart attack, God knows what will happen to you or your spouse that will keep you away from racing.

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"They know f_ck-all over at Slowtwitch"
- Lionel Sanders

Hired help goes a long way, but comes at the expense of time with your spouse and/or progeny.

The way I see it (and I’m new to this, with a single 9 month old), you can either:
1) Train while kids sleep and spouse sleeps (generally not likely sustainable for you but least impactful to family)
2) Train while kids sleep and spouse does something else (mine generally works in evenings), so I have 7-10pm to myself regardless, but for some it would be a strain on the relationship
3) Train while kids are awake and leave kids with spouse or someone else (grandparent or nanny/babysitter) — this I try to avoid but some amount is inevitable.

None of the options are optimal.

I will often get a baby sitter for 2-3 hours on days I do my long ride so my wife can get a little time to herself on weekends. I’ll leave for my ride when son goes down for a nap, so it’s less time gone from him during his waking hours. Baby sitter will set at home so wife doesn’t feel trapped alone at home. She’ll go to cafe or whatever with friends.

When I’m not training, I really focus on being 100% focused on the family. No screens!!! Just rolling around on the ground with the rugrat or doing special things for my wife.

It’s going pretty well so far. But training is still much less than it was before kids, and you have to be ready to go at a moments notice. I keep my bike gear laid out and ready to go, my run gear in a bag, so if everyone wants to take a quick nap bam I’m out the door for a quick tempo run in <5 min, etc.

You're not alone at all! I wrote a post about this about a year ago. It helped immensely for me to change my goals for that first year and also to do non-standard races so I couldn't compare times. Maybe you'll find some helpful tips in here: https://www.triforceteam.com/...-new-dad-experiment/

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Coach at TriForce Triathlon Team: https://www.triforceteam.com

Really comes down to how responsibilites are shared in a family. Some folks have wifes taking care of the kids entirely.

We have three, the first two are twins. I simply stopped racing for a couple of years. And structured training. But did still quite a lot of sport, I just wouldn't call it training. Exercising. Returned to racing after the third child. One is more relaxed with the second one (in my case third one). Now I train quite a lot and do quite well in my age group.

That's just life, wouldn't want to have missed those years. And with twins it wouldn't have worked otherwise anyway since my wife has a job as well. A surgeon ...

6 year old and a 3 year old

It 100% gets easier. If you told me 2 years ago that it would get way easier as the kids get out of the baby stage I would not have believed you. For example - my 6 year old gets his sister up on weekends, puts a show on, makes both their cereals, AND MY WIFE AND I CAN SLEEP IN TILL LIKE 8!

What's worked for me is to sneak in training at night after everyone goes to bed and consider that time religious. Showering and heading to bed immediately after helps me fall asleep even if my HR is still somewhat higher than normal. Also, I've kissed goodbye the weekend long rides outside. Now it's just trainer time. I'm curious to see how bad this affects my overall fitness. The biggest hit for me is swimming, no room for a Vasa and still haven't figured out a good way to make it work with the hectic and sometimes inflexible schedules.

I have two young kids (2 and 6 currently), and yes training can be a challenge. A lot depends on how well the kids sleep and how willing your significant other is to let you fit in training. Do you watch any TV? That was the first thing to go for me. So many folks watch a lot of TV, then are amazed when I tell them I fit in 14-18 hrs of training a week. Turn two hours of watching into training time, and bingo. I haven’t watched anything other than live sports or when on the treadmill or trainer in years!

I’ve found that over the years I’m getting up earlier and earlier to fit training in. It’s far from ideal, and I was actually a case study by Matt Dixon on his podcast (#69) essentially saying what not to do. I’ve found it’s working somewhat, but getting up to be on the trainer before 3 am for long rides certainly doesn’t work for everyone. I’ll find out in twelve days at my next IM how this approach goes!!

On average, I’m up around 4 am most days, and generally get in 8-10 hours during the weekdays, and am always done by 6:30 am. I then get in around 6-9 hours on the weekend with bigger workouts. It takes some time to adjust to getting up early, but once you get in the habit it is easy and you feel very good about accomplishing your workouts. A bit of coffee doesn’t hurt as well!

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Blog: http://262toboylstonstreet.blogspot.com/
https://twitter.com/NateThomasTri
Coaching: https://bybtricoaching.com/ - accepting athletes for 2023

3 little ones here; 8, 4 and 2. I'm up at 3:45 for work (construction management) and my wife is a HS teacher so she gets all 3 up and out the door by 8 (bus and 2 at daycare). I'm home about an hour before anyone else some days if work doesn't go long so I'll stop for a quick swim or get home and go for a run or on the trainer the second I walk in the door. Long rides and long runs are tough; when I have the time there's a good chance I'm not built up for the mileage, so it's just constantly take what I can get. My oldest is involved in a swim team which is awesome, 3 times a week he's at the pool which gets me there too, and he absolutely loves it and does quite well. Best part he's young enough where he doesn't mind his dad is a few lanes over getting lapped by U10s. The 4 year old is already doing lengths of the pool but still too young to really compete. I try to combine a lot of stuff; I coach lacrosse, basketball and soccer and do S&T for the swim team, when the weather is nice I'll ride to the fields/pool and meet my wife there with the kids, then throw on a few extra miles on the way home. Nights the kids are in bed around 8, my wife and I both workout for 30-45 minutes, then it's bed. Rinse, repeat. Tri has definitely taken a back seat but it is what it is. Every family is different and you find what works for you but I think any way you slice it for younger years SBR is going to take a hit somewhat.

Kids are 2 and 5 here. You are not alone, first year of their lives I worked out maybe 30 minutes at a time. Tris were hung up, no time for them.

My kids are terrible sleepers,but it does get easier .My 5 year old can bike along side me while I run. If I want a long bike ride it starts at 5am. Most of my workouts over the lunch hour too.

The big struggle is when both parents want to workout, it is hard to get time in for both of you.

I found that as soon as my kids started sleeping through the night it made a world of difference

My advice is to put training like you used to do, on the backburner for awhile. Train hard and be happy knowing you’re doing the best you can while still putting family first ,,, which won’t be the same as when you could put “you” first. But that’s ok.

haha, yeah I learned to stay in my 'doctor lane' after baby number one...I appreciate all the stories and advice! Glad to hear I'm not the only one. My wife and I are pretty optimized with our time at this point, so nothing else to really cut out (besides sleep and family time), neither of which is a good idea. Until the sleep stabilizes we'll just keep on the workout when we can schedule.

Agree with this. I only have one, he is now 6 and it is substantially easier. Last year and this I feel like I’m back to being able to train however much I need. Enjoy it while they are young and think of it as a couple years of chill base training :) You’ll find your groove.

Family balance is a tough thing to negotiate with training. I definitely do not understand how anyone can get 20hrs +/week with kids and full time job. It would be too much for me. I have 3 boys, 7, 4, and 2. The sleeping gets much much better. So, early mornings become easier. If it wasn't for early mornings I couldn't do it. However, fitness and staying in shape is as much for me as it is for my family. I want to be active when I'm old. I want to be able to to keep up with my boys when they want to go cycling, or hiking, or whatever. So, I prioritize 45-90 min every morning. I also try to sneak in a short lunch run or quick 15 min swim during adult swim at the pool to just add a little extra volume when it doesn't take away from anything else. I don't like to give away more than 2 hrs on any weekend day to training. So, it's easy to get 8-12hrs a week like that. I do a lot of intensity work on my bike with that time. I am focusing on Olympic distance and seeing great progress with that volume and a good amount of intensity on the bike. I haven't and don't plan on going full distance until a 4-5hr training ride will be with my wife or boys and that's family time.

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https://www.strava.com/athletes/23685202

Only 1? Get a couple more quickly before life gets too easy.


You need to stress your system more... It's like training.

Have twin girls under 3 yrs and expecting another in January.

I raced In for years at high level. I had to give triathlons a break and enjoy life. Also had a ton of wear and tear. I choose to walk/run and bike when time allows. All this as I’m also in medicine and wife works as well.

Priorities change and I have decided to save my joints and soft tissue to enjoy exercising with my kids and going on adventures with them.

All this said, I am an older dad. I have lived my adventurous tri life from the days of Bud Light racing. It was hard to slow down mentally and emotionally, but the gift of children is so different and rewarding in other ways. Just being healthy is my objective now.

Hope this helps. All of the comments are great.

Ha!
I’m 41, only going to be one man!

I'm 48 and my youngest (of 3 girls) is 10.

I wouldn't be without them for anything. Kids are great fun. Horrible little shits sometimes for sure, but there's a lot of laughing as well.

Absolutely!

I wake up on weekends whenever I want (usually early still) to cycle then run or swim. Weekdays I have undisturbed sleep until I wake up for work and then immediately go for a run when I am done. I eat what I want when I want - all healthy though since I am training. If I am tired, I nap. No one wakes me. I wanted some new race wheels the other day. Can you guess what I did? Yep, I just simply bought them. Did not have to ask - just purchased. They get here today. I am excited. I will leave work and put them on the bike, then eat some dinner, relax in the quiet and read a book perhaps as it is my rest day.

How is all this possible you ask? Oh yes, sorry I yawned, might still be slightly sleepy from too much rest - but I have no children :-)

I vaguely remember those days.

2 and 3 year olds with a part time 15 year old here. I have no disposable cash anymore, it all goes to the kids.

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Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

Lots of good stuff, I have an 8 year old and twins that are 5. Goodnews is that you will get more sleep and time to train as they age, but the really bad news is that you are going to be sick for a lot of those extra hours you get. Once those kids hit preschool and regular school, it is like the plague hits your family every couple months. Kids seem to get over stuff pretty fast, but us adults take longer, especially if we are training. It is a miracle around here if we have 3 straight weeks of no one being sick. I almost want to just infect all of us right away, just to get it over with. But no, it passes from one to the other, so it is usually a month+ until everyone is back on track, waiting for the next bug.

It gets better when they are over 6 though, yours and their immune systems are a lot stronger from all the training at fighting bugs..

Just get in stuff when you can, and dont plan, just do what and when you can and be happy with whatever it is..

I think this is where me being a teacher plus having two little ones of my own helps. I haven’t been ‘sick’ in well over a year, and haven’t missed a workout since taking a day off after an October marathon. Being exposed to so much over the years seems to have made me almost immune to whatever my kids at school (or home) have. If you aren’t around kids a lot it can almost be like Columbus arriving in the Americas and decimating the Indigenous population!

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Blog: http://262toboylstonstreet.blogspot.com/
https://twitter.com/NateThomasTri
Coaching: https://bybtricoaching.com/ - accepting athletes for 2023

Right there with you. One turns 3 Friday and the other is 7 months. I'm able to get 10 hours a week right now but will be bumping it up in the coming months for an IM. Zwift has helped immensely being able to ride at any hour. My job is admittedly less time demanding though and I typically only work 40 hours/week. I actually had to hop off the trainer yesterday because my youngest woke up from her nap early, but was kind enough to let me finish while she was in her pack n play.

Two years ago my son, who was four at the time, was getting up around 5-5:15 most mornings. We ended up watching a lot of Daniel Tiger while I finished up on the trainer or treadmill. Doing intervals to that isn’t all that exciting!

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Blog: http://262toboylstonstreet.blogspot.com/
https://twitter.com/NateThomasTri
Coaching: https://bybtricoaching.com/ - accepting athletes for 2023

Depends how limited the limited sleep is... If I can get to bed before 10 pm I can usually get 6 or 7 hours of decent sleep in, which is the minimum I need to be able to train and function. If your kids don't let you get that amount then trying to train is probably counter-productive as you'll just get grumpy, sick or injured. My oldest is 17 now (youngest is 4 months) so my body has had a long time to adapt to this and I don't fall asleep at random times quite so much anymore - it's been ages since I last napped in a pile of Lego. My advice would be to prioritise sleep, then just do whatever training you can each day with whatever energy you have that day, but really listen to your body when it tells you to slow down and rest. But then you're a doctor so you know that! It does get easier as your body adapts.

Good luck with your return to training.

with a nanny, a cook, and a maid, many things are possible ;-)
if there are grandparents around who like playing with the kids, it can open up some time too..

for normal people not so much. I've been fortunate to be able to use lunchtimes for workouts, but often don't get to do any kind of long training, as the weekends are taken up with family business.
So have been half-assing it for coming up twenty years now.. ha

Had five kids. Developmentally it was more important when they finally slept through the night compared to crawling, walking or talking.

Surprisingly, the training wasn't that bad because there were about six of us working at IBM or Mayo and training together. Maybe finding others in similar situations might help. At least we could bitch to one another before the sun came up and on weekends.

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Indoor Triathlete - I thought I was right, until I realized I was wrong.

It gets easier. don't sweat it. I have four kids. Initially, my riding and swimming went out the window, but I always managed to run between 40-45mpw. For me, running is the best bang for the buck when you get down to time crunch and kids. Eat well and don't booze too much but dont booze too little. ;) Family always comes first, so your head is in the right place. That said, in the words of Rodney Dangerfield...."the best thing about kids is making them!"

I'm in the same boat...up at 4:30-5 and on the trainer 3 mornings during the week and once more on the weekend, while my wife goes and runs sans children. About once a week my 3 yr old wakes up and we watch The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh together while I'm riding.

If you can't do early mornings or lunchtimes then you are going to struggle to do the training. I work full time, have eight kids and am able to train six mornings a week (Monday-Saturday) for 90 minutes each time (5.30-7am) as well as five lunch times (Monday-Friday) for 40 minutes each. That gives me 12 hours a week of training without having to take any real time away from my family. I schedule no training for afternoons because my kids are all in sports and I do a lot of coaching of their teams as well as driving them where they need to get to. I never train in the evening because that's my time for relaxing with my wife and older kids. The one challenge I have with my current set-up is finding time for the long bike rides I need and this year's solution (that was actually my wife's suggestion) has been to get up early on some Sundays (I've done three so far this year) and ride from 5-10 am. So 12-15 hours per week can be done on just mornings and lunchtimes with minimal impact on the family but there are a few caveats:

1. You have to be organised the night before.
2. You have to love the training.
3. You are not allowed to whine about getting up early.
4. You have to be able to recover during the day without neglecting your work/family responsibilities; i.e. you can only train up to a certain point because you have to be functional for the rest of the day. Unless you are lucky enough to earn your living with triathlon, you have to be able to do the job that pays the bills.

I'm sure there are people out there who train in the evenings and end up with a similar 12-15 hour time allocation, it's definitely possible if you have the self-motivation and love of the sport.

Yes, but OP is a sub-specialty doc. Depending on the specialty and cost of living in his area, he might be able to afford a nanny, cook, and maid. If this is something you can afford, you should look into it. Having a cook, in particular, can free up a TON of time. It's also not much more expensive than take-out and substantially healthier. We have someone who comes to our house on Sunday and cooks dinner for the week. We'll usually cook Fri and go out Sat night (babysitter). So all we have to do is reheat things during the week. If you have a nanny, ask her if you can pay her another $2-3/hr to do some light housework (wipe counters, tidy, laundry).

If you have a 3rd kid, get a night nurse until they're consistently sleeping through the night. This will make the biggest difference of all.

OP might have more free time available to he realizes. Now whether you use that time to train or spend with family is your choice, but minimally everyone will be happier.

.
Hahaha,welcome to Expat life in Asia....There are lots of hours in the day to do stuff thanks to servants and boarding school. :-)

I don't think the (very real!) logistical headaches you're outlining are what he meant.

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Citizen of the world, former drunkard. Resident Traumatic Brain Injury advocate.