I'm married with 2 kiddies (10yo and 7yo).

I tend to do most workouts either before they wake up in the morning, or after they've gone to bed. So before 7am, during the lunch break, or after 8-9pm. The weekend long ride is an exception, and they know I go out for a few hours at a time. The family is generally supportive and involved, and enjoy accompanying me to events where reasonable.

Reading this back I realise I am quite fortunate to have a tolerant family. Some are not so lucky.

The mrs carries on with her stuff when I'm doing a workout, and doesn't mind as long as I don't wake her up when I sneak downstairs, and I bring her a coffee in the mornings when she wakes.

As for healthy eating, we try to teach healthy habits by example. I'm no saint when it comes to diet, but most of the stuff that's good for me is also good for them. So win-win. Nobody forces portion sizes, so eat as much or as little as needed.

Bottom line - kid/family time is exactly that, and absolutely takes precedence. A missed workout here or there doesn't compare with missing time with the little'uns. And that's OK.

This is my life since my kids were born (6 & 18months).

The healthy eating is up to you, my weight is 80% a result of my eating, exercise just makes my muscles nicer.

What matters more? Sounds like your people matter more than your training right now, and that's okay. Acknowledging it is better than beating yourself up because you are missing training.

My littlest doesn't sleep through the night yet, so I'm tired 99.9% of the time. Sometimes I use it as an excuse and sometimes I suck it up and work out anyways.

My recipe for success (although I'm in a slump ATM) - swim early. Like before everyone is up. I go twice a week and I'm home just as everyone is getting up for the day. I run with the dog (two jobs in one!) at least a few times per week. Either after supper or after the kids are in bed. Biking is easy in the winter - hop on the trainer and get it done. Long outside rides are a thing of the past (for now) and I'm sort of okay with that. Sometimes I leave work early on a nice day and ride before I have to pick the kids up from daycare/school.

I'll be checking in to see if anyone has the magic solution - it's not easy but I really miss being fit.

My advice would be to plan as much as possible, both meals and workout time. I asked the same question just after my son was born and generally found the "Family comes first" advice to be un-helpful, but the sad fact is it's true. After 10 months of being a dad, it has become the new normal to not be super competitive and triathlon focused.
In general, you always have control over what you put in your mouth, so cut out the junk and you'll keep some fat off. Then focus on getting the critical workouts in and cutting the dead-time (set up, driving to workouts, etc.). If your GF is into healthy eating, try cooking and meal prepping so you don't have surprises in your diet.
Best of luck to you.

It is hard, but can be done . . . it is a matter of choices. Our kids are now 18, 16, and 14. I believe I have done 19 IMs SINCE they have been born (I work a lot, coach kids, spend time with family, etc.) I have written on this topic many times at www.IronmanLawyer.com If you are interested, start at The Door and read the articles in that series. You can also search training and family ("training family" without quote marks). After all these years I am still adjusting how I put all the pieces together.

Also see The Dilemma and links.

Good luck!!

---

David
* Ironman for Life! (Blog) * IM Everyday Hero Video * Daggett Shuler Law *
Disclaimer: I have personal and professional relationships with many athletes, vendors, and organizations in the triathlon world.

I'm married with a 10yo daughter. I started endurance sports about the time she was born. One thing that I try to do is to communicate what my workout goals for the week are with my wife. We discuss when the best time for the long workouts are, and if there is anything out of the ordinary she is needed from me. I have also started taking my daughter on my daily runs. She will scooter or bike next to (ok, ahead of) me.

Good luck.

---

Oui, mais pas de femme toute de suite (yes, but I am not ready for a woman straight away) -Stephen Roche's reply when asked whether he was okay after collapsing at the finish in the La Plagne stage of the 1987 Tour

This is me, except only one kiddo. Only downside is the wife used to do this stuff too, and now is a little jealous that I get to ride and tri and she doesn't. Not that she can't, but just does not have the time to put into making it worthwhile. She needs more sleep than I do, so when I get up at 430, I'm good to go, where she would be worn out by dinner if she tried to pull that off.

I am 27, me and my wife do not have a super young child in our home but we adopted her niece about 8 months ago. It was a major change in both our lives. I consider myself a decent racer and attempt to be competitive as possible. Typical training week is about 11.5 hours and last week I reached a bit over 16 for the first time this year. I work 60 miles away which equates to a 75-90min drive with traffic. A typical training day is something along the lines of 4:30am wake up. first workout start at 5:15 after a strong shot of espresso, done by 6:30-7, out the door for work and arrive by 830. Off at 5 and head home for second workout. start by 7 done by 830-9 and leaves 45minutes for family time! Its hard but for the time being my goal is to be as competitive as possible and luckily my wife is beyond supportive of the goals I have set. For eating the best advice I had ever heard was along the lines of....

If it comes in a wrapper or out of a drive thru window don't eat it, if you cannot identify what part of the animal it came from don't eat it, if it comes in a metal can don't drink it. If it came from the ground eat it, if you can identify the part of the animal it came from eat it, and always drink water. Obviously there is acceptations to that rule but as a whole I think its pretty sound,

Check out the book Fast Track Triathlete by Matt Dixon. It's geared towards long course racing but I think it applies to all distances. Lots of great info.

married here with a 2yr old and a newborn... right now and for the next few months i decided to take a break from TRI, but i can tell you that all of my PR's came after my first daughter was born. i have a particular situation as my wife also trains so it was extra difficult bc we both want to train, so a few tips:

1. prepare a schedule! this is the best advice i got... we would prepare a by-weekly schedule and post it in the fridge.. so we both knew whose mornings are whose and who is running long! (my wife stopped doing TRIs but still runs marathons and bikes a lot).
2. get a running stroller... this actually allows you to put on some strength training together with your run and helps you be more flexible with the schedule: if my wife had a longer run or bike on a sunday i would do my long ride on saturday, and a 8-10 mile run with the kiddo in the stroller... (she would generally fall asleep after a couple of miles...)
3. break your long sessions: one trick my coach used was to break my long run in two shorter runs on mondays, so i would do a longer, 11-13 mile run in the AM and a shorter 6 mile run in the PM.. that way i freed up one day of the weekend where i would only do the short stroller run i mentioned before.
4. whenever possible i would squeeze a swim during my lunch break.. i am lucky i have a pool around the corner from the office...

hope this helps!

Father of twin 3 year old boys here.

Scheduling is the most critical part. I let my wife know what days I’m training and around what time I’m starting and will be finished. She is supportive of my hobby so that goes a long way.

Along the same lines, keep track of your days and when you have free time. My best time to train is at nighttime. I get the boys ready for bed and my wife takes it from there while I hit the bike or the treadmill.

Be honest with yourself also. I’ll say I’m too busy to workout some days and it’s just because I was too lazy to get in the work. However, some days I am truly too busy.

Fast Track Triathlete or Time Crunched Triathlete.

Also, you need to be with someone that understands that a person is a person and not a parent only. If that's true, they will gladly swap time with you. You have work and time with kids or work at home, and they do. One watches kid while other does something. Then you swap. They don't have to be an athlete, they could just be grabbing coffee or a drink with the girls out.

My wife and I have kids and share this view and it works out. We still go on date nights together, we both have 1:1 time with the kids, and we both have personal time.

Especially time once kids are in bed. If you have younger kids, no reason a kid under middle school age should have a bedtime after 8:30. It's BS the parents who let their kids tear ass around till 10PM. Then when they're older, they have homework or friends anyway. Perfect time to crank out 90min on the trainer. Most Americans watch TV or sit on their smart device at night anyway.

You also need a long-term compromise in your head. Sure, there are age grouper IM folks and successful bike racers with kids and family and jobs......but, we don't see what goes on behind the scenes with a spouse/parent blowing 20hrs a week on training. Just know ahead you can't do it all.

I'll likely upgrade my bike racing category pretty quick, but peak out at a 3. I don't have time for anything other than that.

You'd be amazed what you can do with a focused 5-8 hours a week. Focused though, not farting around on eternal slow ass group rides with 3 coffee stops. Getting your zones and TSS in and getting out.

As a single parent its not about choices. Two kids under 6, everything is a single pint of failure to the plan and the choice.

Thanks for all the helpful advice. Keep it coming. Great to get a lot of heads together as I'm sure I'm not the only one stuck in this slump. One thing that has been working I should say is I have a YMCA family membership and we do that for swimming, kids splash around in the small pool, I do laps. Which now is the one thing I'm doing well. But it's the only thing I have been doing. Def willing to hear suggestions. I've never been good about planning workouts but I'll sit down tonight with the boss and see if her and I can't work out a schedule.

---

I still lapped everyone on the couch!

My wife and I have three kids (5, 6 and 9) and we both do this. This is our second year of Tri, and 4th year of running...She's got a funky 7 days on/7 days off schedule, so she's a little more relaxed about getting things in. I'm a little more competitive.

We take advantage of our local YMCA's child care and use that to go to spin classes, masters swims and our local tri group meets there for spin/swims.

I swim/bike/run during my lunch break at work. I get about 30 minutes a day doing this.

We both get up early and when the weather is nice, get our runs in before 6:30a--and when it's really light out, get some biking in.

On the weekend, we switch off. Often, she will run x miles in one direction...I'll wait a little bit, load the kids in the minivan and go meet here somewhere...and I'll run back while she takes the kids. It's fun, it works and we both get "our" time.

My experience is fairly similar to that of others above. Two kids, 5 and 2. My wife runs (just did her first marathon), so we have to balance our training needs. Now that her major race is past, I get first dibs on training time. When she was working toward the marathon, and I was in offseason, she got first dibs.

I tend to do my workouts before work and before the kids get up. That means they often don't see me until after school, but they know what I'm doing and they're all about it. On weekends, it's a lot harder to figure things out, mostly because there are a bunch of other activities competing for my attention. My wife and I talk about the training needs every week, which is a big help. The kids come watch the races, which also helps, because they get to see and be a part of the rewards of training.

I hope you get it figured out in a manner that works for you.

---

Attacking this day with enthusiasm unknown to mankind.

Exact same here.

I would use the word “supportive” about my wife loosely though. It’s more like she is ok with it. She is glad I have a hobby I am passionate about, and staying healthy, but like you eluded to, those long weekend run/rides can be a challenge. Especially during my kids sports season.

You just got to stay open and willing to switch things around and know when it makes more sense to skip a session and or cut it short because more meaningful life events, like a kids game, recital, etc take precedent.

---

-------------------------------------------------------------
Tough Times Don't Last, Tough People Do.

I should say my family is supportive they just don't understand. It's a lot of "well can we get pizza today and we'll eat healthy tomorrow" and "Just one more store then we'll go home" followed by "sorry I didn't think it would take that long" so there's some figuring out to be done. Especially in the Massachusetts cold.

---

I still lapped everyone on the couch!

Married, two kids, 18 months and 4 years.

I pretty much threw in the tri-towel when the first was born, there is no time to train for all three events at this stage. Decided to become a one sport guy. Running seemed the easiest as it was my background and its quickest. Did great (one major race a year) until number two was born, after the initial newborn stage I got planter fascitis and I couldn't run. Got into gravel biking and winter fat biking and I'm hooked.

At this point I set my goal as 4-5 hours of training a week, few days running, few days biking. I will do one or two races a year but I don't race them seriously. I always have this itch to train really hard, but at this point with the kids so young and you want to focus on family, just staying in shape is all you can do.

Also be ready to bike or run in the dark after bedtime or before wake-up. If you can, utilize the lunch hour.

It's tough and no easy answers. I've been trying to get to bed as early as possible and wake up early for workouts. Unfortunately, your social life suffers.

Same here. Our gym has child care so I can take my 3 kids anytime I want to workout so no one can complain. Additionally, getting the wife involved/working out helps a ton too. As far as eating, me and my wife have very similar goals but if I want to eat something specific I buy it and make it...she is usually very happy when I do the cooking.

Planning will definitely help with the meals issues. My wife plans the week's menu before shopping on Saturday. Yes, bumps happen but rarely. This way you know what you are eating and how long it takes to prepare. Also plan who is cooking. Plus, you can plan for leftovers for lunch! More eating healthy that way.

How do you plan your workouts? Last year I had a coach and I really enjoyed not having to think about what I was going to be doing ... I just did it. This year, the $$ is not there, so I am having to plan more. Like many others, I do most of my workouts early in the am. Would do them late at night, but then I don't sleep well. Besides, by 8:30 we are both tired (we both have to be at work about 7am)

Before I joined the Master's swim, I made sure my wife was ok with the times it would meet. I work hard at being present with her and/or our son. I also try hard to do other things around the house -- sweep, dishes, pick-up, make the yogurt, etc. Anything I can get done to help I try to do.

I am not sure what you mean by the family does not understand. What do they not understand?

I'm glad to see so many people in here have a good balance!

I do feel parents have gone too far in the direction of letting the kids do too many activities, parents blowing every second on kids or work, and leaving no time for each other and the individual.

If you neglect either the spousal relationship OR each individual being a person, you run into big trouble. The first and obvious sign is always resentment.

Buy a treadmill if you don't have one. Run a 5k a most mornings before you go to work and on the weekend. Its amazing how easy it is to fit in a 20+/- minute run once you get into the mind-set.

45 minutes to an hour (one TV show) on the bike 4 or 5 days a week should also be pretty doable if you have an indoor trainer. If not, get one.

The swim is the challenge as it take a lot more time to get to the pool, change, swim, etc.

So consider duathlon or just accept your swim will suck.

It's tricky finding a balance. It's all about efficiency and planning and learning good habits. But above all else: This is only a hobby -The partner and kids must come first otherwise they'll eventually get pissed off and you might end up as someone with nobody at home anymore....

It's easy enough though. It's just what you get used to. When you've got one kid you think you're super busy and stretched. When you have 2 kids you think you're super busy and stretched and having one was easy. When you've got 3 that becomes the new normal. When one goes on a sleepover so you only have 2 in the house it's like a holiday. Add in a job, 3 hours commuting etc... it all becomes possible.

I've got a wife and 3 young kids. I somehow manage to get about 10-12 hours a week in. Learn to love getting up at 5am. It's summer soon so this is the best time of day anyway. Knock out a workout before work, go for a run in lunchtime or a nap in the car. And then do another workout in the evening (if you can, but be careful with this one as the evenings you're needed to chat and hang out). Grabbing a 3 hour ride on a weekend shouldn't be a problem. The wife needs to be flexible with you too. Remind her that this stops you being fat & useless like most of the world.

Plan ahead to know what you want to do that day, but be flexible. 2 of my kids are massively into their own sports so on top of all my activities I have to drive them around and sit by pools, tracks etc. I make sure i've done my session beforehand and then i use this as forced rest time, sat there with tired legs, eating shedloads.. Sometimes i have to miss my workouts but i get another chance sooner or later. I almost pissed my wife off doing an IM last year when i'd push my luck by coming home from work after a 1.5 hour drive, so lots of time to dream about jumping on the trainer, and go straight into a workout instead of hanging out and chatting and having dinner - this had to be curtailed... Actually it's more about us running around endlessly for the kids that reduces me/wife time, my workouts fit in around the edges pretty well.

Another trick is it's always good to have a drink and a stash of energy bars nearby so that when you get hangry you aren't snappy and an arsehole, you can keep your sugar levels up.

Good luck. It's not so hard. There's lots of hours in the day. Maybe your girl and the kid will get into it and you can oneday run/bike/swim with them. It least you can be giving a good example, better than being a fatty, beer drinking, TV watcher.

I've got 2 teenagers heavily into sports so almost everyday after work is shuttling them around. In another couple of weeks it's AAU basketball and away tournaments almost every weekend until June. All my workouts are done before work. Usually get up between 3-4am and I'm usually done with everything before 5:30. Only days I'm a bit later is when I swim. Long bikes on Saturday are also done early. Usually completed by 6-7 am. Really long rides are done by 9am which still gives me the day to spend with the family. Sunday I take the day off to do whatever everyone else wants to do. Plus it allows me to go out with my wife on Saturday nights since I don't have to be up at the crack of dawn to workout.
I've found my body adapts to 5-6 hrs of sleep a night pretty well. Plus with early morning runs & rides, there is almost no traffic. I actually find it safer.

During the week, I just have to fit it all in in the morning before others are awake, which means I'm often getting up at 430am. Nights are for family. On occasion, I'm able to sneak out of work at lunchtime to get a swim in.

On weekends, my wife gives me Saturday morning on my own (long ride, short run), and I give her Sunday morning on her own, to do whatever she wants. I'll sometimes run on Sundays before my son wakes up.

During peak IM training, my wife and I agree on 2-3 nights a week when I will crash early, and she can plan around that and get her own stuff done. That seems to be working. I couldn't maintain this schedule if I didn't get in a couple early bedtimes a week.

When time is short, it's typically the swims that I sacrifice.

It's all a giant balance. Good luck.

We had our first son 21 months ago. Since then I've been training about half as much as I used to, fitting it in wherever I can. My race times are slower than pre-kids, but I'm OK with that because my life has changed for the better by having a son and I'm still having fun out there on the course. I pretty much train as much as my wife will let me, trading training time for watching the kid while she goes on hikes. I work full-time, so I have to be sensitive to my wife's freetime when I'm home and it seems to work out OK. Unless you are a pro, you just have to remember that you do tris for fun.

Others will disagree but I don't think that there should be any balance early on. I have a 2 and 4 year old and at this point they are always priority 1a and 1b, my marriage is priority 2 and my income is priority 3, and finally my personal stuff is a distant 4th. I rarely ever sacrifice them for me, and at this point in their development I don't think it's fair to.

So what do I do? I get time before they are awake. They wake up at 6:15am like clockwork so I get up at 4:15. On weekends I get a little bit of time while they're awake because they spend that time with mom, and then with me when it's mom's turn. A 2nd workout comes at lunch while I'm at work so long as it does not endanger my work status. And that's how I balance it.

Maybe this will change when they're older, but at this point circumstances don't allow that. And taking time from them for me would be unfair to them.

Married, two kids (4 & 2). I did IMMT last year (I don't recommend it). Like others I utilize early mornings and less so evenings when they go to sleep. I also have the luxury of working from home a few days a week so I can sneak in some training then. The key for me was a running stroller. After work I would run the kids to a nearby park. Take a break in the middle with the kiddos and then run back. Intervals into the wind with a running stroller are a good time (insert sarcasm here). My wife works out but nothing tri or running related. She is understanding but I always try to make her aware of longer workouts, or days I need some time. Communication and planning are key. I do most of my bikes on the trainer as its just easier for the family. I have a play area in the basement next to where I ride. I really only do the longer stuff on the roads. Now that I've switched over to Oly's and the occasional Half it is easier. The key for me was always deferring to the family. Only pushing to do a workout when I really needed to. Its possible for sure, just requires more planning and understanding from all parties.

The very best part of IMMT for me was seeing my kids. They were actually disappointed they couldn't come on the run in the stroller with me!

Have 2 girls under the age of 5 and a wife that puts up with tri. For me the biggest factor is being able to put my training outside of normal hours that don't impact anything with the family.

Most days that means gym or trainer at 430/5am, then off to work and home around 4pm. Every evening is full family time. Weekends are early hours training usually with a post workout breakfast with the family as everyone wakes up or a gym session during afternoon naps for everyone else.

Basically I have to try to impact family life as little as possible 90 percent of the time so that the 10 percent that it does isn't overly selfish

Move out and it will be a lot easier

That is cool!

---

My race site: https://racesandplaces.wixsite.com/racesandplaces

jogging stroller, take your kids and give wife a break

run commute rather than drive

give up swimming

give up triathlon. That's what I've done for now. Family too important. I will be back when they are older.

Fit triathlon around your life, do not fit your life around triathlon.

Decide where triathlon fits in your priorities in life.

Prioritize the time you have for it based on that.

Schedule ahead of time when you can get it in.

Accept that you might only be able to train 4x/week or only for 30-45 minutes a day. You don't need to be crazy active to be healthy.

Make sure your goals in triathlon can fit into the balance of your life.

Make sure you and those you care about most are happy.

As the kids get a little older, you'll be busy with their activities at school too. The time crunch situation won't go away for a long time.

Someone already posted this, but you need to set up a treadmill and bike trainer at home. I have three kids, and there's no way I could go out regularly to bike and run. But with a treadmill and bike trainer at home, I can squeeze in a 45 minute bike or 20 minute run every day.

I usually fit in a longer bike and run once a week.

Also, what do you do at lunchtime? Is there a gym at work or nearby? You could hit weights or swim there at lunch. Or before/after work.

Thanks--we use it to explore new routes so we don't feel like we are trudging down the same paths.

I have been concentrating on the olympic length events, so there aren't really long slogs required. My runs are typically 5-6 miles and either fast or hilly and my bike "rides" are sweat-drenched torture, so not a lot of long/easy days in the mix--but it has been good enough to do OK with the limited training time.

Interesting - I'd put marriage as priority 1. If you 2 are not happy - the house will be a terrible place.

You are soooo freaking lucky!

I have an 18 month and 4 year old. Sometimes they are up and alive at 5am other days its 8am, and sometimes even the lucky 2am!

I don't envy those training for multiple sports, I just do cycling and I can barely fit in the time to do things the way I think I need to do them. I'm extremely fortunate that I get to do a lot of my work from home, so I can get on during the day between different work things, because otherwise I don't think I'd get in the quality that I do between spending time with my son and wife at the end of the day. I'll admit, I sometimes let my guilt over training affect weekend stuff when I could conceivably do some long stuff (I tend to keep it to 2hrs per a lot of trainerroad plans), but honestly I tend to get resentful and it affects my mood in a non-healthy way. To be fair to myself, I do all the laundry, most of the day to day school logistics for son, and wake up early on weekends with him all the time, so I shouldn't really feel bad about doing stuff for myself. And I think the advice I'd give to others is that if you're spending quality with family and doing your share (or more) to help keep things running, then you owe it to yourself to fuel this crazy hobby.

Yeah it's hard to really rank or argue with that, it should really all be priority 1. I guess I put it that way because I feel like they had no choice but to be born and it's on me to make sure they have a safe and loving environment to grow in. But then that argues for a good marriage too.

Either way, sports is a distant priority.

This will piss you off even more....the 4 year old will wake up and just play with the stuffed animals in her bed until we come get her. She's never gotten out of bed on her own.

I'm a father of seven children (ages 6 months to 15) and a triathlete so I realise I am a little bit of an outlier. I believe it is possible to train for and race triathlons and still spend time with your family. My personal view is that when I am training and racing well I am a much happier, more fulfilled person and this allows me to be a much better parent and role model for my kids. I don't know that I have any secret sauce, but here are my best tips:

1. Identify the dead spots in your day when you can get the training in. For me, it is getting up early and training 5.30-7 am everyday.
2. Don't forget the value of short hard workouts - I get 40 minutes at lunch so when I run at lunch I run hard; some days I lift at lunch and again it's 30 minutes of focused training.
3. Commute to work on your bike or on foot if possible. I can run to my workplace in 30 minutes, so some days my run training is running to work and running home.
4. Find a masters swim club and join up. These groups often swim in the mornings and all you have to do is show up, dive in and push yourself. Swimming is the hardest sport for me to schedule so having the MSC really helps.
5. Get a bike trainer set up in your basement/shed. I set my alarm for 5.20 am and am pedaling by 5.30 am. I jump off the bike at 7.20 am and am driving or running to work at 7.30 am (quick changes also prepare you for transitions in races!).
6. Have run gear with you at all times. I have a bag that comes with me and if a meeting is cancelled or if I find I have a slot open up, I throw on the shoes and run.
7. Get to bed early, don't watch TV.
8. Take your kids to your races so they can see why daddy rides a bike in the shed in the dark when it is -20 at 5.30 in the morning in January. Kids don't listen to or remember much of what you say to them but they watch you like hawks and will copy everything you do, so being a good role model is really important. I feel as though triathletes are usually amazing role models: we set goals, we train hard, we deal with adversity, we pursue self-improvement, we love life and we are tough.

Best of luck, I just wanted to be a voice in this forum that lets you know you do not have to choose between being a good dad and being a good triathlete, you can do both you just have to be organised and motivated.

I have to agree with this post and don't buy the "fitting" triathlon into life paradigm. I'm married with 4 kids- twin 5 year olds, 4, and 1. My wife is an active runner also. We both work 40h professional jobs. We don't fit our training into our life but rather prioritize it and make sure it gets done. My wife has told me repeatedly that I'm much happier when I work out regularly. We figure out what our workouts for the week are and plan for them to happen. I ride after work at night, run at 5 am and swim immediately after work on my way home. I rarely skip workouts except when sick or if something super unexpected has happened.

Our kids have grown up seeing us workout regularly and expect it. They still get to do their sports and birthday parties and have friends over. They have plenty of fun and aren't missing out. If anything, they get to see scheduling and time prioritization in action and see the importance of living a healthy lifestyle.

I am quotating this from someone else:
Career
Triathlon
Family
You really can only do 2 of these at a high level. I have found this to be very true in my life. I think at some point we need to be honest with ourself and accept that by prioritizing the list, the bottom item will get short changed and the results will be whatever they will be.
Good luck.

Not necessarily advice on time management, but one of my favorites things is having my son ride bike while I run. Started this when he first learned to ride and he’s 12 now. These runs are always my favorite because the conversations are great. I am lucky though in that I have lots of bike paths where I live so it’s safe.

My progression of family + triathlon:


1 kid = no changes really

2 kids = this shit is inconvenient

3 kids = Jesus Christ how do I have an ironman in 6 weeks? I swear to god it was November when I went to bed last night.

I'm worn out. Sometimes it seems like I am a single parent :-p
I cook dinner 4/7 nights, I clean(Really got to get the replacement Vacuum Robot battery), I do the laundry(the amount of clothes the wife and kids go thru!! I literally can count 1 set of mine and then 3sets of theirs per person!), I bathe the children (or I let them bathe themselves) most of the time and I send them to school in the mornings.

it's tough and I think i'm overreaching but my thinking is trying to reduce the amount of "complain" i get from the wife from spending hours doing "training".

5-7hours of training is what I can fit into my schedule currently. Wish it could be more. Then again, wish I could be younger too. LOLz

Gotta think of a way to get myself out of this predicament which I'm putting myself in.

I read this entire post hoping for a secret answer that I’d been missing

Didn’t find it

Have 3 under 3. Used to train 15 hours / week for IM and now struggle to get in more than 6

I just cycle now. Almost all indoors, occasionally get in a short-ish weekend ride with the boys

I do my training most days at 430 and I’m in the house helping with breakfast by 600

I’ve been at this 10 years now so my wife gets it

I’ve completely come to realization I won’t be as fast as I was, I’ll never reach my “full potential” with reduced training ... but actually the decline doesn’t bug me that much.

I look forward to my 60 mins “me” time and spend almost every other second w my family. It’s less lifetime PRs anymore and more about “new” PRs based on the new training regime i have

It’s possible and still fun. Just probably need to recalibrate expectations a bit if you’re like me

"Kids don't listen to or remember much of what you say to them but they watch you like hawks and will copy everything you do, so being a good role model is really important"


Sage advice.....well put.

I got into triathlon in 1998, and in 2000 did my first IM. Less than a year later our first daughter was born. I managed to find the time to get in a marathon and a couple of short course tri's, but with a job that had me away from home a lot, and a growing young family time became a precious commodity and something had to give.

So for the last 18 years I stuck to a bit of cycling, running and other things I could squeeze in when the time allowed. No races, other than an ultra marathon 2 years ago. Running I found was the best bang for your buck on a time crunched schedule, and you can do it pretty much anywhere.

My two daughters are now 14 and 17, and are more or less self sufficient, with one able to drive herself around (thankfully, cause I felt like a cab service for the last 5 years) I now have more "me" time. So after discussing it with the family, we decided to do Ironman again this year. I say we, because it's a family effort. Everyone is pretty excited.

I am lucky in the fact that I do not work Mon-Fri 9-5. I get a lot of down days during the week when the kids are in school and my wife is at work, which allows for a lot of training time. Plus I get a lot of down time when on the road at work to train. (I'm a corporate jet pilot). But it also means I am away from home for periods up to 2 weeks.

Family, work, and training balance is hard and there is no one recipe for everyone. Each one of us has their unique set of challenges. Like it has already been said, having family support is a huge part of it. I know for a fact if I was trying to squeeze in a full tri race season when the kids were young would have been a disaster. Who needs that extra stress in your life. I'd come home from work and my wife would meet me at the door ready to hand off the two kids. If I told her I had to go bike for two hours, she would have stabbed me with the kitchen knife.

Those people that can live on 5 hours sleep a night, have a successful career, family life and qualify for Kona year in and year out are rare. They have incredible amounts of energy, drive, and talent. I've met a lot of people like those in my job. (most are successful businessmen/women, billionaires) they just go, go, go all day everyday. It's amazing to see. Like my boss, the multi-billionaire that owns the airplane.

Long and short of it is, you have to figure out what works best for your lifestyle and family. Good luck with it, and enjoy the kids while they are young, because they grow up awful damn fast.

---

https://trigeek1969.blogspot.ca

"Kids don't listen to or remember much of what you say to them but they watch you like hawks and will copy everything you do, so being a good role model is really important"

Absolutely!!! Our oldest is 18 (next 2 are 16 and 14) - she has watched me do 20 Ironman races since she has been alive, volunteer at her school, do community service, and work hard. She is copying all of those!!! And, for a dream of a life time I ran her 1st marathon with her last weekend!!! Never had to ask her, tell her, or instruct her . . . it is part of her DNA from watching my wife and me. Quite frankly, she has become an off the charts young lady in many respects and I can very humbly say it is the greatest honor a parent can have.

For those of you with youngsters I would also encourage you that we raised our kids with no (NONE!!) video games, very little TV or videos, no phones til High School including no smart phones until teachers started tweeting assignments, and kept them out of the "drama" that so many families have. It is VERY hard but it pays off.

Best wishes,

---

David
* Ironman for Life! (Blog) * IM Everyday Hero Video * Daggett Shuler Law *
Disclaimer: I have personal and professional relationships with many athletes, vendors, and organizations in the triathlon world.

I started triathlon when I already had four young kids so I haven't noticed a decline as we've moved from 4 to 7, but maybe that's because I've never been able to get near my potential! I've definitely noticed that I do better at shorter races and had a big drop off between my HIM time (4:44) and my IM time (12:49) which is mostly down to the fact that it's way easier to find 90-120 minute blocks for training than it is to find the 5,6 or 7 hour workout sessions that people on ST talk about. I think I managed three long rides for IM training and it just wasn't enough.

I'm training for IM again this year and have decided to borrow a strategy from ultrarunners - splitting log workouts so that i can fit them in. I did 2:40 on the bike after work yesterday and 1:30 this morning on the bike before work. I know it's not as good as one 4 hour bike, but it must have a training effect that comes close. So yeah, you don't have to choose between triathlon and family but if you want to be a good dad you do have to be prepared to compromise a little and accept that multiple 4-6 hour rides are just not going to fit in to family life very well.

Anyway, best of luck with the training and the family.

I coach a lot of people with kids from very young to almost leaving for university, and some of them have 3 or 4 kids.

A few common threads that run through all their lives:

They have very few outside interests. It's basically family, work and triathlon. Occasionally they'll dust off the golf clubs or tennis rackets but when they do it's 95% of the time either a family vacation playing with the spouse or work related. Only occasionally will they go whack golf/tennis balls for fun. I'd say 85% of the time they go whacking for fun it's taper or recovery from a big race. Occasionally they'll go out with friends but more often than not a lot of their friends they meet on the roads to ride/run or they meet right after working out where the families are getting together a bit.

They are very schedule oriented and they try to not add/subtract/deviate too much from it. For instance Mondays are typically the same type of workouts, Tuesday the same types. This makes it easy for them bc they know they swim masters every M, T and not some Monday's and is it this or next week on Tuesday. Routines are awesome.

They take advantage of kids soccer matches/karate tourney's/swim meets/ by bringing running shoes/trainer and bike. They realize that 30 minutes of something is > zero minutes of nothing when it comes to overall fitness. Kids in the pool for meet warm up? Awesome, they can't talk to you and you can't talk to them. Off for a 30-45min run. Kids at a soccer match? pop the bike out point it towards the field on the trainer and now you've got a 90 min ride in. The other parents will think you're an weirdo, but you do triathlon so......

They tend to eat the same thing for bfast. They buy eggs or cereal by the dozens of dozens. When you only have to shop for cereal every 3mo bc you bought 45 boxes of the same cereal (notify the store ahead of time so they can have it in stock for you) or you bought 6 dozen eggs that reduces the amount of time you have to spend in the grocery store when you go. If they go offsite for lunch they tend to go to the same place and order more or less the same thing. After a bit the staff knows them and what they want. It's often ordered for them when they walk in bc they get asked "the usual?" Then get seated while their order is being placed.

They tend to use the timer function on the washer/dryer and dishwasher so those work when they are out working out or sleeping . They also tend to introduce their kids to the washing machine/dryer,vacuum and dishwasher earlier then my non athletic friends taught their kids to use those appliances. I don't have kids but if I did I'd put my minions to work at an early age. Some household responsibility never hurt any kid.

I think the #1 thing they do is communicate with their spouse/the rest of the household about what's happening AND get buy in from them.

If the spouse doesn't buy into you doing an IM then don't do a fucking IM. Only you care you want to do an IM, your spouse doesn't and if you have a coach your coach shouldn't want you to blow up your house, it's not worth the extra stress it's going to create in either relationship.

The last thing you want is your spouse saying "F*ck that I'm not spending another 4 months shuttling your 3 kids around so you can go play on your bike for 5.5 hours like you did last year."

Nothing wrong with racing sprints/oly's and/or half's if it means a happier & healthier household.

Another pro tip: If your spouse and kids don't want to travel somewhere or watch you do a race, don't take it personally & leave them at home. Spectating is hard/long & it tends to be boring. I've not seen a ton of kids that seem really excited to see Mommy or Daddy for 27 minutes of racing out of a 10+ hour day. I have seen a lot of kids and parents melting down while the spouse is out racing, even at 70.3s. If you're bringing your family, imo, you owe it to them to be fit & make smart decisions in the race so you don't melt down making their day stretch into night stretch into past the kids bedtime before you finish.

Anyway hope that helps a bit

---

Brian Stover USAT LII
Accelerate3 Coaching
Insta

Can I just print this off and give to all my fellow coaches in the sport and athletes in the sport.....Desert Dude's gospel.

---

Brooks Doughtie, M.S.
Exercise Physiology
-USAT Level II

There is so much truth in what you said - my biggest issue with triathlon is giving up that "everything else" - intellectual, cultural, and random endeavors. Anytime I really think about going into this sport "for real" I read these threads - and go back to my 2x Sprint / Oly tri per year routines.

You can still have some of those but you will give up some as well if you go whole hog.

You can bike or run to them then drive home with the family (or do that in reverse) if you're going to the park or something. Sure you may smell a bit but keeping some handy wipes in the car can fix a lot of that. Besides I hear helmet hair is the new "in" hair style.

If you're going to friends ring them a day or two before letting them know you're looking forward to seeing them then ask if it's ok to shower there bc if possible you want to ride your bike there. 99/100 times they will be fine with it. Then DO NOT be that triathlete that talks about how they rode 75k to get there. No one wants that person at their get together. NO ONE. Do not even mention it to anyone.

If training for an IM do the occasional local sprint tri instead of a long weekend training day. Sure you may have to get up a bit earlier to get to the race but you get home earlier and you've got the entire day to hang out with your kid(s) blowing them up & taunting them on xbox.

Plus a sprint tri is like a high speed low TSS training day which probably will do more for boosting your fitness than another 4.5h zone 2 ride.

And trash talking while backing it up on xbox, does it really get any better?

---

Brian Stover USAT LII
Accelerate3 Coaching
Insta

I hear you - I think my point is just having that "mindset" of constant integration, while its very much exhilarating / efficient (I'm into it) - it sacrifices your mind-space for other things...be it professional, intellectual, cultural, family, etc.

I haven't read all the responses so apologies if this has been mentioned. One thing that helps me is being prepared and flexible. I bring running gear with me almost every day and I'm generally prepared to run either on a treadmill or outside. I joined the gym closest to my office and if the weather sucks or I want to get a little strength in along with my run, I'll shoot over there at some point during the day. We have a shower in my office so if the weather is nice I'll change, go for a run, and shower here afterwards (I realize not everyone has that luxury). There are also trails close to my office so if I'm feeling beat up or need a change of pace I'll go off-road. By the nature of my job I deal with a lot of property managers at multi-tenant office buildings, and I've asked a few of them for access cards to their fitness centers which gives me a couple more options to run/workout/shower during the day. I know these won't all apply to you but the point is to be creative and flexible and take advantage of every opportunity you can find.

I picked up a cheap second-hand treadmill so worst-case I can run in the basement after the kiddo goes to bed. Same with biking - as others have mentioned, this is easy to do later at night on the trainer.

On the off chance that I do any swim training it is almost always early in the morning before my wife and daughter wake up. My local masters group swims at 5:30am and if I have to cut it a little short to get back home and help with the morning routine then so be it.

In the summer when the sun is up early I often ride with a local buddy before work. It's not uncommon for us to meet at 5:30am and ride for an hour or so.

On the weekends my wife is generally cool with me getting out for longer runs or rides as long as we don't already have family stuff planned. Sometimes this involves me bartering or letting her sleep in while I get up with the little one, then heading out whenever she gets up. Again it requires some flexibility.

Although I like running and riding outdoors so much better than the TM/trainer, squeezing all this stuff in around family and work commitments requires a certain degree of ambivalence in that regard. For me that means I also need solid entertainment options to make the TM and trainer more bearable, so I have live TV, Netflix, Amazon, Hulu and Youtube available in my pain cave.

I got nothing on nutrition - I make it up as I go!

Make sure you discuss with the GF what you need and how you can support her needs as well. Go for win-win.

You can make all the plans on your own you want, but if she's not buying in, it won't happen without some pain.

---

Ryan
http://www.SetThePaceTriathlon.com
http://www.TriathlonTrainingDaddy.com
I got plans - https://www.trainingpeaks.com/...dotcom#trainingplans