Dude, take this for what its worth...
Diet is an individual choice. While a vegan diet is a healthy one, would you embrace another diet if your significant other decided to got to that? ie the chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce diet???
:-)
Eat healthier, eat what you want...within reason.

If you really, really love someone....

...if it's important to her, it's important to you.

Otherwise, just have a good time and enjoy your time together.

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"That night I had a dream. I dreamt I was as light as the ether."

My wife is vegetarian and one of my daughters is vegetarian, pretty easy to live with except when I throw the tri tip on the bbq every few months I get to hear about where not to put the meat, and can you take it outside etc.. My daughter went vegan for about 3 yrs, and yes it was a nightmare. For Thanksgiving we had vegan gravy, vegetarian gravy, vegan potatos, etc. She was always returning meals at restaurants because it had butter in it or honey or anything animal related.

To answer your question, in my case I didn't have much of a choice since it was my daughter, but I would consider it a negative and deal with it. There are worse things in life. Good luck. Maybe you can persuade her to go vegetarian..

I had a girlfriend decide to do vegan. What a pain in the ass. And I like my veggies. Found veg restaurants and enjoyed them. The problem is when she starts moving from health benefits (sketchy if they go too far) to philosophy (obnoxious when proselytyzing) I enjoy the dead red and am not giving it up. Problematic for a while then detente.

I've been a vegetarian for 12 years but my wife is not. Granted being a vegetarian is somewhat easier than vegan, but, fwiw, I am AMAZED at all the people that have a problem with my diet, when I have no problem at all. When I first started dating my wife it seemed like she was always worried about me finding something to eat, when I was not worried at all. My answer was always "I'll find something to eat, don't worry". When we went to thanksgiving, I just made a vegetarian casserole to bring -- if there was nothing else there without meat, then I'd just eat that and bread. No big deal, I don't care. Her family made a bigger deal out of it than I did. When we dine out, if I can't find a good entre, I just order a freaking salad and potato. No big deal.

Anyway, I would suggest that if you have an issue with someone else's diet....the issue is yours, not theirs..

I read an article in 2008 which basically concluded that 85-90% of Americans that attempt going vegan fall off the wagon within the first year. Only 5% or so committed to it for more than 3 years. The majority that can't stick to it generally end up in a highly-vegan diet, with much lower levels of animal product consumption than your average American .... which isn't really saying much. The remaining fad dieters tend to go straight back to their pre-vegan diets before making the next attempt.

Long story short - wait it out, then re-evaluate it later on. Whether you like the idea or not, you should support her decision to the extent that it's not imposing on your needs. If you get between a woman and her diet decisions, you will learn what real misery is all about. I tried vegan for about 9 months when I was in grad school after two meat-related illnesses. The food choices are pretty good, but it's an absolute pain in the ass once you leave the comfort of your own kitchen.

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"The right to party is a battle we have fought, but we'll surrender and go Amish... NOT!" -Wayne Campbell

Best piece of advice I have ever heard on ST. I wish I had taken this approach to relationships many years ago. You are a wise man.

My experience, chances are she won't stay vegan long. She may "downgrade" to vegetarian or just go back to eating whatever. Vegan seems to be a popular phase for people.
Still, having dated a vegan I would say it could be a huge positive for you. My opinion is that the vegan lifestyle (with the addition of a good quality, lean meat/protein) is the healthiest way to eat. So her being vegan means you get all the delicious healthy vegan meals and can just add in some non-vegan items here and there. Win-win.

Of my close friends, one has been a vegetarian (for health reasons) for about 10 years. The other has been a vegan (for moral reasons) for close to 40 years.

The vegetarian is very easy to get along with and most accommodating of the "meat eaters." We always find places to eat that we both enjoy, as I enjoy vegetarian food and she is more than willing to eat a baked potato and salad if I'm in the mood for steak. Only once in 10 years has she ever vetoed a restaurant. Our eating habits really are a non-issue in our friendship.

The vegan friend, OTOH, often tests my patience. She has a list of restaurants she won't eat at because they serve one or more foods she is morally opposed to. Once, she actually walked out of a restaurant after reading the menu, AFTER we had been seated and served drinks. While she has never commented directly on my food choices, I know it bothers her when I order a meat dish. She is also quite outspoken on animal rights issues, and while I don't necessarily disagree, I am well and truly tired of talking about it. I find myself trying to steer the conversation away from animals/food to more neutral ground, but it usually doesn't work for long. Mostly, I drink a lot when we're together.

The big question is:

Is she doing it for health or as a philosophical statement? That was the killer for me when I dated a Vegan in college. She was soooo far to the extreme side of the spectrum with regard to animal rights that we couldn't have a conversation about food without it becoming a fight over the treatment of fuzzy litle rabbits and baby sheep.

If for health, I would suggest you encourage her and when she get's frustrated, suggest she consider a lacto-ovo vegetarian diet as an alternative and go organic when she does eat milk and egg products. That diet is substantially easier to stick to and the health benefits are proven. Watch the Iron intake for her because unless she makes an effort to eat a lot of a few foods with iron she will need to suppliment with a pill form.

The other factor is, is she smokin hot? Just kidding.

Good Luck.

Dave

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Dave Stark
dreamcatcher@astound.net
USAC & USAT level 2 certified coach

The lactose intolerant vegetarian thing is OK about vegans, but the refusal to live in a house or site in a car that has any real leather, fur, or animal products is annoying as all hell.

I adopted a vegan diet in February, thinking it was just for a month. Well, It's December, and I'm still doing it, mainly because I honestly feel 1,000 times better with this way of eating. I am not an animal rights activist -- I like animals, but I still cook meat for my husband and son. He is so used to me being a pain in the ass (see you in 6 hours when I get back from my bike-to-run brick workout, honey) that I imagine he took the vegan thing in stride. Lately I've been doing high raw vegan. We were at Costco the other day and he pointed to the giant bag of bird seed and said "HERE'S YOUR DINNER!" :)

So my thinking is this: if your gf tries to be accommodating -- like Peter, if we go to out I don't make a scene and I don't really care what I eat -- and she doesn't sneer at your leather bike saddle, I'll bet it won't be too big of a deal. If she's a "high maintenance vegan" then she's probably going to be "high maintenance" in general, so this could be a good litmus test.

Do you know somebody like this? That would really be intolerable, and there is no way I could date someone this close-minded. My girlfriend actually switched to the vegetarian thing a few months ago, and has been very strict about it, which I commend her for. But more importantly she doesn't try to force it on me, which I certainly appreciate bc nobody likes to have others' views forced upon them. I make fun of her for being a hippy, and I often kick a kick out of calling her a VAGetarian =)

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Jonathan
USA Triathlon Coach/Adventure Extraordinaire

I'm a vegetarian. I rarely consume dairy, but am not a vegan. I'm just a dude who doesn't eat meat. I've dated several vegans who explained to me being a REAL vegan meant having no animal products in your life at all. They won't even ride in your car if you have leather seats. To them me not eating meat wasn't going far enough. I own a leather couch, leather shoes, leather belts, leather jackets, and am therefore cruel, have bad karma, and a big jackass by their standards.

I know a lot of people associate vegan with diet, but the people I've been involved with took it far beyond food.

I've been a vegetarian for 12 years but my wife is not. Granted being a vegetarian is somewhat easier than vegan, but, fwiw, I am AMAZED at all the people that have a problem with my diet, when I have no problem at all. When I first started dating my wife it seemed like she was always worried about me finding something to eat, when I was not worried at all. My answer was always "I'll find something to eat, don't worry". When we went to thanksgiving, I just made a vegetarian casserole to bring -- if there was nothing else there without meat, then I'd just eat that and bread. No big deal, I don't care. Her family made a bigger deal out of it than I did. When we dine out, if I can't find a good entre, I just order a freaking salad and potato. No big deal.

Anyway, I would suggest that if you have an issue with someone else's diet....the issue is yours, not theirs..

Word. I have been there...I am there. I have been vegetarian for about 13 years. It doesn't really bug my wife and it never really has...but she does get all bent out of shape for me when we go to restaurants or weddings if there isn't a vegetarian choice. It really isn't that big of a deal usually to me.

Other people make a HUGE deal out of it...particularly my family and her family. Very strange. Anytime I get sick, which isn't all tha frequently, it has something to do with the fact that I don't eat meat.

Bernie

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"Slowbern has always made astute observations."-Casey 03/10/2009
2013-2014 Detroit Lions---13-3 until proved otherwise.

I am both vegetarian (by choice) and Celiac/gluten intollerant (not-so-much by choice) and have found this to very much be the case with me. I eat what I like to eat, and what my body lets me eat, and don't really care what others choose to eat. CHOOSE being the operative word. But a lot of other people seem to question my choices and take issue with my diet. Man, if only it would be socially acceptable for me to do that to them!

My boyfriend is not vegetarian (or Celiac) but has no issues with what I eat - why would he? I don't make a big deal out of it, so it's... not a big deal. I also don't care if he throws in chicken into a dinner I am making, or uses wheat tortillas instead of the corn ones I'm using - his choice.

Unless it's becoming an issue about more than just food, people should respect others' decisions and move on.

It is essentially a religion so they have all the intolerances that come with religions. Not all but the extreme ones.

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_________________________________
I'll be what I am
A solitary man

No kidding! A few years ago, a co-worker found out I was a vegetarian and pulled me aside. She read me the riot act and told me that I'd be dead within a year because there were vital ingredients in beef that my body couldn't do without. Mind you, this is woman who's nearly obese, diabetic, and looks about 20 years older than she is. On the other hand, I'm lean, in shape, and look about 10 years younger than my age. Of course, that isn't all diet, but it would have been nice (though unacceptable) to tee off on HER diet!

My personal experience, it annoyed me. We could never share things, chinese food, thai, pizza, indian, you name it, so take out got more expensive. There were several times we went to restaurants and he had a very hard time finding something he could eat, the chef had to come out etc, that is annoying to me. I tried eating veggie food but it just doesnt do it for me. My treat meal after a big race is a burger or something with bacon and honestly I kind of just wanted someone to get that.

It would take a very very very special man to make me deal with that stuff again, but then again, I might be the pickest single woman in NYC.

Guy's at the FH dont bust your balls ? I am not a vegetarian butget my balls busted all the time bout weight being anarexic and so on. not that i care.

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Guy's at the FH dont bust your balls ?

Yes. My balls get busted daily! But if it wasn't for that it would be for something else...you know how ruthless we can be. Plus, they have pretty much witnessed me losing 70 pounds over the course of 3 years and know that I have kept it off for 10 years. So there are irrefutable results. Plus I am one of the fitter guys on the department and they pretty much know that on any given day I can keep up a much higher energy level than any of them.

Granted, I am a weather weanie, and I'll wuss out and play the seniority card when it cold and wet ("hey rookie, it is wet and cold out there...get the garbage cans!").

Bernie

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______________
"Slowbern has always made astute observations."-Casey 03/10/2009
2013-2014 Detroit Lions---13-3 until proved otherwise.

I feel ya brother just cannot show any weakness. Senority has its privilages

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thanks for all stories folks. she's gone this direction to try and recoup from the week of crappy eating over thanksgiving, and also throwing in the inhumanity to animal issues as kind of a side. she's not looking down on anyone, me, for still wanting my cheese, ice cream, etc, when i do, but it's what we can't do now that got me to thinking. she's from chicago, told me about wiener circle, chicago style pizza, some noodle place. and SUSHI!!! i could live on dead little fishies for a long time. (or at least until the mercury starts to eat at my brain.) well, ain't happening now. when we make dinner we would have some wine and cheese as we're fixing it. maybe some hard salami once in a while. (ok, run with that one those of you who choose to. ;^) ), again, no mas. we've talked about doing a wine tour in cali, what the hell do vegans eat with wine?!?!? i mean i love hummus but c'mon, gimme some good cheese to round out this combo.

gonna be back in texas for Christmas staying with family. my family eats ab-so-lute-ly nothing healthy. i'm all with her on finding some good salad places while we're there, but there's only so many times i can eat at the same 3 salad joints. she's not giving me hard time at all for not going vegan, and i'm all behind her on her journey here, but like i said, it's what i thought we'd be doing and sharing that now won't be happening that got me to thinking about things. (is this a run-on?)

i also agree with ross and will just deal with it. thx. for those of you who pray, will you please pray she at least goes vegetarian???

oh yeah, and i think she's pretty hot.

off for choc milk before bed. ciao.

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ΜΟΛΩΝ-ΛΑΒΕ
we're doomed

A good buddy of mine started out his dietary change by "eating healthy". Then he went veggie. The vegan. Then raw vegan. Then low fat, raw vegan. We were headed to another buddy's place for dinner and were told: "We've got the mains, you guys bring the appies - x, you're on your own". He went 'round and bought about a bushel of veggies for his dinner. I bought some prosciutto and a few other delights from the deli counter, some brie (might have been Camembert), and an assortment of crackers. When we got there we unpacked everything and the hosts started laughing their asses off at me, saying: "You do realize that everything you've brought is a giant "Fuck you!" to x, right?" Honestly, it had never even crossed my mind. He was picking out what he liked, and I picked what I thought the rest of us would (and did) enjoy.

x has since come around and is now eating a more vegetarian diet, though still with strong vegan leanings. But at least he doesn't look like he belongs in a Sally Struthers commercial anymore. I gotta say though, watching that kid eat is exhausting. He starts 30min before we do, and finished an hour after us. Last summer I made a pot of veggie curry for him (carrots, potatoes, cauliflower, onion, and chickpeas, plus I tossed in 1/2 a can of coconut milk for more calories) and he ate the whole damned thing. Probably 3.5L worth. With a healthy serving of quinoa. I can't imagine how he packs away such volume...



Back to the OP, if she wants to restrict her diet that's fine, but always remember that it's HER choice, and as long as she can deal with it, it shouldn't impact you all that much. If her vegetarianism becomes "your need to become a vegetarian", then you'll need to decide if she's hot enough to give up eating dead animals.

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veggie sushi rocks -- avocado rolls ftw!

If she is serious about being vegan, most wine is NOT vegan since it's made with -- get this -- fish bladders.

http://www.barnivore.com/wine

what the hell do vegans eat with wine?!?!?
Saltines ?

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Nope. Saltines include yeast.

EDIT: Sorry, yeast IS vegan as it turns out. I just had a super crazy friend apparently.

can anyone give me the name of a quality saltine that goes with a nice pinon noir?

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ΜΟΛΩΝ-ΛΑΒΕ
we're doomed

What's stopping YOU from enjoying all of the things you used to? I'm not sure why you have to share everything or can't eat it at all. I think it's sweet that you're bending over backwards to find places for her to eat in Texas (since you are the host), but everyday at home - why can't you eat that cheese with your wine?

from a great blog, "what the hell does a vegan eat anyway?"
http://veganmenu.blogspot.com/

I sure hope that those are two of the very few (and very bad) vegan wines.

i will eat the cheese at home. and drink milk and eat ice cream. oh, that reminds me, gotta go put the tub i got out for breakfast back, but it's more outside the house that i don't know how vegans make it? we won't be going to the pizza place she used to love to go to. it's thinking about the things we used to or had talked about splitting and sharing that has me kinda bummed. splitting a good appetizer before a salad type stuff.

but i just thought of this. perhaps it will be a money saver, not that many places to eat so eat at home more, i still buy what i want for the home and don't spend as much on dinner out. is this the silver lining here???

off for a nice, BIG cappuccino. thick, wet foam baby!

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ΜΟΛΩΝ-ΛΑΒΕ
we're doomed

You're not married to her and have only been dating since June. So you have little obligation to continue with the relationship. And the vegan thing has only been going on for a week. I'd stick with it for a while longer to see how things work out. If after a little longer (you determine how long) it doesn't work out and impacts the relationship beyond what you deem acceptable, then bail. Sure, she'll bitch to her friends about how small minded you are, etc., but so what? Isn't that what dating is largely about -- an attempt to see whether two people are romantically compatable?

Some very nice meals on that blog! Of course, there are also raw veganists out there who say regular vegans aren't being strict enough with their diet . . . .

Even more extreme than raw vegan are the low fat raw vegans. I have yet to figure this thing out. For a meal they will eat 10-12 bananas. It's called an 811 diet: 80% carb, 10 pro, 10 fat -- mostly if not entirely fruit. 10 bananas in a row? wtf? So there's always the "next level", I guess. Right now I am enjoying a "high raw" diet. But I would not go 100% raw for a number of reasons, a leading one is that then I really would be a pain in the ass.

Pizza is easy, btw. Hold the cheese, and ask for every veggie they've got. If it's a good pizza place where the crust and the sauce are excellent, this makes a fine meal. We have a place in Pittsburgh that sells both vegan (soy cheeze) and reggie pizza. You might have such a place in your area too?

Yep - that buddy of mine went from a typical diet (everything) to healthy, veggie, vegan, raw vegan, and then low-fat raw vegan (WTF?). Seriously - when you think you're getting too much fat from nuts and avocados, there's something wrong. Of course there are still more extreme options. Fruitarians, breatharians, and dead guys - who don't eat at all and in fact give up their bodies to nature.

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I read a book by a hindu mystic claiming you could survive on prana from the air if you meditated properly and achieved enlightenment.

Never attempted it myself, though. Sounded way too hard.

I doubt I would even date a vegan. If my wife went vegan it may be an issue, but as long as she isn't preachy about it and still is willing to go to non vegan restaurants and event type things it would work.

My mani issue with vegans is they tend to want the world to go vegan and it can be annoying. Also I don't know how vegan = healthy. It can be healthy, but you have to plan your meals very carefully for it to be.

Styrrell

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Styrrell

That's the basic concept behind the breathairian schtick (as I understand it - admittedly, I've done no real research). The thing for me though, is that I don't eat rack of lamb, brisket and pulled pork "to survive". I eat them because I enjoy eating them. If all I cared about was "surviving" I could get by on twinkies and cola. (Maybe not for long, but then again, look at much of North America) If all I cared about was optimum health, then I'd probably be pretty close to vegetarian, with some fish and maybe a little wild game. But vegetarian != healthy by default - no matter what one's diet, one still needs to be conscious of what is being eaten and how it impacts nutrition and overall health.

I eat food because I like food. :)

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I'm fat because I like beer :p

Nabisco

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