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How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy?
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For the past several months, I've seen this woman at the gym at least 3 days a week. We've ended up beside each other on the treadmill numerous times and I've also seen her doing time on the eliptical, rower, and free weights. I'm definitely not stalking her, I guess she just happens to workout at lunch everyday, so I see here almost everyday.

Anyway, I can really tell a difference in her physique since the beginning of the year, and today, instead of her usual loose tshirt and shorts, she had on this incredibly flattering (smoking hot) gym outfit that made my eyes pop out of my head. I know she's been working hard at it, so I'd like to compliment her, but I'd like to do it in a non-threatening, non-creepy way.

Just for the record, I'm married, she's married, and we've never had a conversation other than "hi" or "thanks" if one of us holds the door for the other one. So I don't want to hit on her, just compliment her b/c like I said, I've seen how hard she's been working, and Lord knows any compliments I've ever gotten have really motivated me to keep working hard. Any suggestions?



---------------------------------------------------
"Pops trippin'. He want me to ask for my bike back. You know i wouldn't trip."
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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Have fun with it, keep it light: "holy cow, yer getting skinny/ripped/fit. You bench what now? 350?" "Better watch out, I think that chick over there is eyeing you up..." "Oh man, you're making me look bad now. I better give up the Twinkies and beer." Then follow it up with an honest "No really, your hard work is paying off, you look great."

I know if I had a fellow gym-rat tell me something like that, I'd appreciate it.

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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Not like this "You look great, you've lost a lot of weight. You used to be sooo fat it was a total joke."

Someone actually said that to me once and I really think he thought he was being nice! I can laugh about it now :)

I'd just keep it very light like 'You're really looking fit.'
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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Many years ago I had a guy working out next to me in the gym say "I'm not hitting on you, but you're in awesome shape".

I said thank you and was not creeped out at all. He returned to his workout and that was it.

I agree with making it light and joking, but just say what you want to say and leave it alone.





Come crawling faster
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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My first thought when reading your question was "you don't."

I have a supe heightened creepy sensor when I'm at the gym though. I don't really want anyone to talk to me, but that's just me.

The suggestions given were good however! Maybe a "your hard work is paying off, good job" sort of comment would work as well.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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But beybee - choo lookin' fine!


<If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough>
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Proud member of the Smartasscrew, MONSTER CLUB
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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"What time does your husband leave for work?" or "What time does your husband get home from work?" Whichever suits your schedule.

___________________________________________________
I'm not a complete idiot, some of the parts are missing.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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I'm sort of with QRGirl, she might find you creepy no matter what you say, so be prepared for that.

Don't necessarily compliment her on her 'looks', but on how strong she looks, or how fit she looks instead.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [PirateGirl] [ In reply to ]
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Don't be like that baby...

If I could rearrange the alphabet...


<If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough>
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:

Anyway, I can really tell a difference in her physique since the beginning of the year, and today, instead of her usual loose tshirt and shorts, she had on this incredibly flattering (smoking hot) gym outfit that made my eyes pop out of my head.

I am a firm believer that there are things you 'think' and things you 'say'. If you would compliment this woman with your wife standing right next to you, then by all means go for it. BUT.....if you would not....then I would think twice before you say anything.

____________________________
Life is Short...Run Long
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [RunMomRun] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
In Reply To:

Anyway, I can really tell a difference in her physique since the beginning of the year, and today, instead of her usual loose tshirt and shorts, she had on this incredibly flattering (smoking hot) gym outfit that made my eyes pop out of my head.

I am a firm believer that there are things you 'think' and things you 'say'. If you would compliment this woman with your wife standing right next to you, then by all means go for it. BUT.....if you would not....then I would think twice before you say anything.
Please stop with the logical, thoughtful and intelligent comments. You're ruining the interwebs.

(To the OP: Don't. No matter how you say what you want to say, it's going to come out wrong.)

*****
"In case of flood climb to safety"
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [RunMomRun] [ In reply to ]
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[/reply]I would say the same thing to her if my wife was standing there or not. Like I said, I'm not trying to hit on her. But judging by some responses, it seems I may run the risk of coming off the wrong way. I probably won't say anything.

...or maybe I should wait until she's in more of a non-threatening environment, like the women's locker room. I'll just pop in, give her some props, and pop out ;-)



---------------------------------------------------
"Pops trippin'. He want me to ask for my bike back. You know i wouldn't trip."
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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By your description of this woman, I'm assuming she's pretty good looking. If she wasn't very good looking at all, but had the same improvements to her physique, would you want to say something to her? Similarly, if she was a guy and went through the same transformation, would you want to say something? If the answer to either of these is No, then I wouldn't say anything. Just keep it friendly, say hi when it's appropriate and continue on your merry way.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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I'm pretty sure the moral of this story is...
Don't talk to girls- under any circumstances- whatever you say, they'll twist it around, and you're a terrible person.

I often think about dropping a compliment like that- completly harmlessly of course, so what if they get the wrong idea, you know what you meant by it, strictly platonic compliment.

Being 24 and single, I have also often thought about hitting on girls at the gym- but thats just flat out creepy- thats pretty awful huh? an athlete trying to pick up another athlete while at a place where athletes hang out to do athletic type things?
Theres got to be an easier way
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [brikins13] [ In reply to ]
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As someone younger (27) around here, I would have NO problem with someone your age hitting on me. It's when the ~50+'s get up in my grill that I have a problem.


______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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That is an excellent plan! I mean, what could possibly go wrong if you popped into the women's locker room, to pay her a compliment?

I would bring a camera too, just so that she knows you are not a creep, you are an artist who appreciates beauty.

Good luck and you might want to start collecting bail money before you go to gym next.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [mccannathon] [ In reply to ]
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well, i didn't see her today. maybe she read this thread and is already creeped out by me. :-P

...but speaking of going into the locker room of the opposite sex...a few weeks ago i was walking out to the pool from the men's locker room. to get to the pool you walk through the shower area. so as i'm walking out, two female employees walk in pushing a mop and mop bucket. right into the shower area! and there were a bunch of guys walking in and out with at most a towel on. they started saying "lady in the room, lady in the room" and proceeded to mop up a big puddle of water. most of the guys just looked at each other like these women were out of their minds, but there really wasn't any fuss made. i doubt anybody even told the front desk about it. but can you imagine if the opposite had happened in the women's showers? all hell would have broken loose.



---------------------------------------------------
"Pops trippin'. He want me to ask for my bike back. You know i wouldn't trip."
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [D!] [ In reply to ]
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x2 - I'm completely okay with someone complimenting me on improvement, as long as they aren't my dad's age or older... then it somehow just makes me feel weird that some old guy is studying me that much.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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Would you want someone complimenting your wife at her gym? Would you want your wife going into an internet chat room asking strangers how she should compliment a guy she thinks looks good at her gym?

If you answered yes then my next question is, what do you look like? If you're fighting in the same weight class as the woman you're complimenting then I say go for it. If you're not then she'll think it's creepy. You kow why? Because it is creepy! But good looking guys can get away with a lot more as long as they're charming enough. But I'm a guy and haven't understood women since I was 5 or 6, so take this advice for what it's worth.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [eganski] [ In reply to ]
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Let me explain. No there is too much, let me sum up.

How do you compliment a hot woman at the gym without being creepy?

Be young and hot yourself.

(I can see it, but I think that's kinda messed up.)
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [eganski] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
Because it is creepy! But good looking guys can get away with a lot more as long as they're charming enough. But I'm a guy and haven't understood women since I was 5 or 6, so take this advice for what it's worth.

there is not much to understand:

- if you compliment a woman and she finds you attractive = she is flattered
- if you compliment a woman and she does not find you attractive = she finds you creepy
- if somebody is working out they likely are 'in the zone' and the threshold of 'you look attractive' become a lot higher than, say, when said person is relaxed at a bar

given the above unless you are seriously genetically blessed (and if you were you wouldn't be asking this question, because you'd be used to women not finding you creepy, so you'd just say what you have on your mind whenever), the odds of coming across as creepy are pretty high, therefore just don't do it as nothing good can come out of it.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [mccannathon] [ In reply to ]
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Let me explain. No there is too much, let me sum up.

I can't believe that movie is 22 years old.


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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [Marco in BC] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:

there is not much to understand:

- if you compliment a woman and she finds you attractive = she is flattered
- if you compliment a woman and she does not find you attractive = she finds you creepy
- if somebody is working out they likely are 'in the zone' and the threshold of 'you look attractive' become a lot higher than, say, when said person is relaxed at a bar

given the above unless you are seriously genetically blessed (and if you were you wouldn't be asking this question, because you'd be used to women not finding you creepy, so you'd just say what you have on your mind whenever), the odds of coming across as creepy are pretty high, therefore just don't do it as nothing good can come out of it.

I'm pretty sure the best solution to this and all other similar answers is... Yes- thats right
Every Health club and Gym needs a Bar. not a juice bar, or a cooler where you can buy your protein shakes... Gyms need booze, as being discussed in the Tri room- its a perfect recovery drink. problems solved. so whos gonna start that up?
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [D!] [ In reply to ]
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It's when the ~50+'s get up in my grill that I have a problem.

ouch! that hurts! :)

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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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I think it's simple... if you compliment somebody, hottie or not, for really making an effort,, you'll come across a whole lot less creepy if one of them just turns out to be a hottie.

And, if she likes you, she'll let you know... if not, forget about it.

Jay
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [D!] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
As someone younger (27) around here, I would have NO problem with someone your age hitting on me. It's when the ~50+'s get up in my grill that I have a problem.
<Joey>

How you doin?

</Joey>

:-)



"Here's how you run a marathon. Step 1: You start running. Step 2: There is no step 2." - Barney (How I Met Your Mother)
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [squid] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
It's when the ~50+'s get up in my grill that I have a problem.

ouch! that hurts! :)

Try again with this. Different results, guaranteed.




<If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough>
Get Fitter!
Proud member of the Smartasscrew, MONSTER CLUB
Get your FIX today?
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [Khai] [ In reply to ]
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HEY!
Ok, maybe.


______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [Khai] [ In reply to ]
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I heard stories about you at the Womens' training camp. Apparently, there is a park bench in Valyermo with your name (and imprint of your backside) on it.

You are entirely too much!

As to gym etiquette, and as a gym employee, congratulations for her hard work seem appropriate. She made a change for the better; it should be acknowledged.

DFL > DNF > DNS
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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People talk to me all the time when I am out running or at the pool. I get all sorts of comments about my fitness levels, comments about how good I look, my swimming progress, my weight(from women), questions about what I eat (again women). I've even been told by one of the women in my neighborhood that I should be in the Olympics :) I don't recognize her, but apparently she always sees me running.

I don't necessarily think it is bad to talk to her because it sounds like she has motivated you with her work ethic, not by her hotness. So if you make a genuine comment her work ethic and her fitness improvements then I can't see her being offended by that.

An example for me is a guy that swims at the pool where I swim. He has been swimming there since I moved here almost 5 years ago. My swimming has improved dramatically and last year especially and this winter too. He has made comments a few time about how much he has seen me improve and how great a swimmer I am becoming. Things like that are totally acceptable.

Things that I don't find acceptable--people, this has always been women, and often ones I barely know at the Y, asking me what I weigh, what I eat, if I eat. Really? I barely know you?

Guys, staring makes you seem creepy, don't do it. Also, compliments on flexibility, don't go there, it makes you seem perverted, even if your not. Nothing worse than having an old guy at the pool come up to you while your stretching "Wow, you sure are flexible" Or, even worse, the hs aged life guard gave me that one a few weeks ago, right before he asked what school I went to...ummm dude, I'm 29.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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Sure seems a lot of folk in here are scared to speak to or be spoken to. Reckon I might as well weigh in.


I agree with those that have said to keep it light and focused on the hard work paying dividends. I've gotten compliments on that from men and women both and I tell ya, it feels good. It doesn't seem creepy to have someone that's seen me running, biking or working out in general lot say "you're really getting strong, and it shows" or words to that effect. I'm ok with people I know, even peripherally, saying "you're looking good" in a general sense or even tell me they noticed a weight loss.

What comes across as creepy is staring, ogling body parts other than the face and following or trying to (I had one dude on a bike try to follow me home. I call him "creepy ass-crack dude" due to the condition of his bike shorts).

So, my vote is that maybe as you're leaving if she's still on the elliptical or whatever, just say something like "you've really gotten a lot stronger this year. Good work!" and go on.


There is no justice, there is only me. -- Death
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [Sabrekitty] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
Sure seems a lot of folk in here are scared to speak to or be spoken to...
I know! Its kind of bumming me out. I would think that anybody going to the gym is doing so to improve their outward appearance, and it would seem logical that someone working on their outward appearance would dig a compliment on their outward appearance. I don't know. With guys its easy. "Dude, you are getting ripped" or "Your chest is getting huge my man". Its a different ball game dealing with women.



---------------------------------------------------
"Pops trippin'. He want me to ask for my bike back. You know i wouldn't trip."
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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Don't be bummed! I know I love getting those random compliments as long as they seem genuine.

How to go about it: In the fall I was swimming 5 days a week and was feeling comfortable in the water for the first time in a LONG time. A little old guy stopped me on my way out of the gym and said (obviously not a native english speaker) "You swim good. Very pretty. How long you swim? How do I swim like you?" Although that meant he had been staring at me in a swimsuit, I was flattered and gave him the typical tips to find a local masters group or a YMCA. It also gave me a little extra motivation to get to the pool in the early AM for quite a while.

How not to go about it: A PI that had been helping me with my qualifying exam told a friend of mine that he had been going to the gym in the morning because the "scenery in the pool is so nice." I am the only female that swims during the times when he goes to the gym. As he is married and a superior (and apparently has been threatened with a sexual harassment suit in the past), I was pretty creeped out and switched to swimming at noon.

I second what Sabrekitty said about dropping a simple compliment as you are leaving. Done right, it will make her morning/afternoon.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
"Your chest is getting huge my man"
Do me a favor and say this to a chick sometime. Include the "my man". I just wanna know what happens :D


______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [Leloo] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
I was pretty creeped out and switched to swimming at noon.

that's what I don't understand about women, why would you care so much about what other people think and actually change the time you go to the pool? I couldn't care less if somebody was checking me out or not (and swimming at the Y downtown it has happened plenty of times to get looks in the shower from other guys for example).

Must be the same logic that several gals I know have, who will not run alone in a park regardless, when the odds of something bad happening are much lower than the odds of being run over by a car when crossing the street (probably the same odds as a 'creep' checking you out turning out to be an axe murderer or something).
Last edited by: Marco in BC: Apr 18, 09 16:20
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [Marco in BC] [ In reply to ]
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Normally I wouldn't have, but there was a little more to that story ...he had been texting me a lot and kept sending me e-mails inviting me out for drinks at the end of the week. Switching my swimming time was convenient, and I felt that if I stopped replying to his texts/e-mails and didn't run into him at the gym I could diffuse the situation pretty quickly. It worked.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [D!] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
Post:
In Reply To:
"Your chest is getting huge my man"
Do me a favor and say this to a chick sometime. Include the "my man". I just wanna know what happens :D
[/quote] I laughed for a long time from that D!

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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
I would think that anybody going to the gym is doing so to improve their outward appearance, and it would seem logical that someone working on their outward appearance would dig a compliment on their outward appearance.

I go to the gym to train to get faster.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [Marco in BC] [ In reply to ]
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Because if a woman gets attacked the consequences are generally much higher than a man. Odds are the guy will be larger and if he is a real scumbag rape is a distinct possibility. Men will likely get beat up. While that sucks, getting beat up then raped is worse.

Honestly, women who want to get hit on at they gym make is pretty darn obvious. If she is wearing make-up, not sweating too much, her hair looks great and her workout clothes are cute and vaguely inapprioprite, feel free to ask her out.

If I am on the tmill sweating like a pig, wearing a ratty shirt and old shorts, likely I'm there for the same reasons as tc, to get faster or lose weight for my health.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [JenHS] [ In reply to ]
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A non threating way to handle this is to say something like: My wife would love to know how you have gotten in such great shape...
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [mccannathon] [ In reply to ]
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Here is how it is done. Pretty much displays what you are talking about. There is a short ad before the video.

http://www.nbc.com/...l-harassment/258532/
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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I'd say nothing. If she appreciates your compliment, you may have opened the door to more conversation, and then... then... trouble?
If she doesn't appreciate the compliment, she'll give you dirty looks forever.


I was swimming once in the lane next to a woman who I biked with on a Wed.nite ride. She and her husband were nice, and I enjoyed their company. Anyway, she got out of the pool, and guess what? Her suit was so old that I could see the cr**k of her a** through it. I had just recently noticed that the suit that I wore was getting "see-through", so I was in a helpful mood.

So, I went up to her and told her that I could see through the back of her suit and she might want to get a new one.
She said, "Uh... thanks...", and things were a bit wierd after that. I'm sure I creeped her out.

Since then I've seen plenty of women whose tri suits while on their bikes or swimming suits are getting see-through. I don't say a word. I suppose I might tell my sister or wife if theirs wear out, but that's where it will end.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [D!] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
In Reply To:
"Your chest is getting huge my man"
Do me a favor and say this to a chick sometime. Include the "my man". I just wanna know what happens :D
that is hilarious!



---------------------------------------------------
"Pops trippin'. He want me to ask for my bike back. You know i wouldn't trip."
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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Why not just start by introducing yourself and make small conversation? You can tell if she is open to talking by her body language and her response.



Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin. Grace Hansen
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [Khai] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
In Reply To:
It's when the ~50+'s get up in my grill that I have a problem.

ouch! that hurts! :)

Try again with this. Different results, guaranteed.


Finally someone else that truly understands the mindset of women.

___________________________________________________
I'm not a complete idiot, some of the parts are missing.
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
For the past several months, I've seen this woman at the gym at least 3 days a week. We've ended up beside each other on the treadmill numerous times and I've also seen her doing time on the eliptical, rower, and free weights. I'm definitely not stalking her, I guess she just happens to workout at lunch everyday, so I see here almost everyday.

Anyway, I can really tell a difference in her physique since the beginning of the year, and today, instead of her usual loose tshirt and shorts, she had on this incredibly flattering (smoking hot) gym outfit that made my eyes pop out of my head. I know she's been working hard at it, so I'd like to compliment her, but I'd like to do it in a non-threatening, non-creepy way.

Just for the record, I'm married, she's married, and we've never had a conversation other than "hi" or "thanks" if one of us holds the door for the other one. So I don't want to hit on her, just compliment her b/c like I said, I've seen how hard she's been working, and Lord knows any compliments I've ever gotten have really motivated me to keep working hard. Any suggestions?

Here, I fixed it for you. ;-)

For the past several months, I've seen this woman at the gym at least 3 days a week. I usually try to run next to her on the treadmill. I'm always watching her, but I don't want to look that way. I knows that she works out at lunch everyday, so I make it a point to try and see her almost every day.

Anyway, I can really tell a difference in her physique since the beginning of the year, and today, instead of her usual loose tshirt and shorts, she had on this incredibly flattering (smoking hot) gym outfit that made my eyes pop out of my head. I know she's been working hard at it, so I'd like to compliment her, but I'd like to do it in a non-threatening, non-creepy way.

Just for the record, I'm married, she's married, and we've never had a conversation other than "hi" or "thanks" but my imagination has been torturing me for months about what she must be like in bed. So I don't want her to think I'm hitting on her, just compliment her b/c like I said, I really enjoy fantasizing about her, and Lord knows any compliments I've ever gotten have really motivated me to keep hard. Any suggestions?


"Mars is a world completely inhabited by robots from another planet." -- RandMart (paraphrased)
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [AndyPants] [ In reply to ]
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These are all great!! Love it!

"Fall down 7 times....get up 8!!"
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [biggsmooth] [ In reply to ]
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Quite honestly, I wouldn't say anything other than usual friendly conversation. Women feel really exposed working out at the gym, and while some are clearly there for attention, most want to do their own thing, clear their head etc. Any comment about a woman's body can so easily be misinterpreted, that I'd play it safe especially since are both married and thus not "interested" in eachother.



"What am I on? I'm on my bike busting my ass for six hours a day. What are YOU on?" - Lance Armstrong
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Re: How to compliment a woman at the gym w/out being creepy? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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I'm going with 'silence is golden'


nice quote
"What am I on? I'm on my bike busting my *ss for six hours a day. What are YOU on?" - Lance Armstrong

http://www.truckeecyclocross.com
California
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