I'm planning a little game night/cocktail party with some friends on Saturday. Three couples have kids, two (including me) do not. Two of the 3 kid having couples are getting sitters, the third, who is one of my dearest longest standing friends e-mailed to say they were planning on coming and can they bring their kids? Honestly, her kids make me nuts and it seems that everyone has more fun if kids are not around.

I e-mailed saying the other couples were getting sitters and that her kids would probably have more fun with a sitter or at grandma and grandpas.

Was I rude? I really want it to be an adult gathering.

Parents out there are you offended when your kids are not invited/welcome? What is the best way to make this clear without being offensive? Should I have stated it when I sent out the original e-mail invite?

perhaps you could have casually slipped that into the invite. but if your invite included the term cocktail party, then it should be obvious that kids are not invited.

I e-mailed saying the other couples were getting sitters and that her kids would probably have more fun with a sitter or at grandma and grandpas.

See, I just don't get that! Did THEIR parents take them out to parties, because mine did certainly NOT.


Like JSA, and as a single person, I have noticed a disturbing trend of people who insist on bring their kids to adult functions / places and acting like it is the norm or okay. Just the other day, I was at the Y locker room, listening to 2 women complain about taking their kids to a restaurant / lounge type place, and, much to their shock, it was NOT kid friendly. Um HELLLLO. The name of the place has the word "BAR" in it? WTF? What do people not understand about the word "Bar"? Since when do people think that everything is supposed to cater to their needs because they have kids? I understand this with an infant, but once they can walk and talk, oh hell no.

I totally agree,

When I was growing up the parents would go to parties which meant we were getting a babysitter. I don't now what changed(I grew up in the late 80s early 90s) but now when my fiance and I have game nights or more recently want to have people over for a light holiday cocktail party everyone with kids assume that we are going to supply some area for their children.

Out of courtesy we said that we really don't have the space or things to amuse kids, we're two late 20 somethings and our closest kids books are 'oh the places you'll go'(grad gifts) and everyone poops(gag gift).

We've had this debate nightly since holiday party season started and she doesn't like I think parents are getting too soft and all think their kid is special(to which I cited the increase in 'food allergies' and removing PE from schools). She thinks that culturally we are trying to be more protective of our children(she cited bike helmets and increased technologies that can harm or mislead kids)

In any case saying no kids is fine in my book, but if you're doing something that could have a kid friendly slant(going to a PG movie, museum, theater) you should expect some people may want to bring their kids.

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