Thanks.
I don't want to commit suicide, believe me! I have self-harmed, but I've never been suicidal. I think I'm pretty normal for a crazy person :) I try to be as normal as possible.
I'm 30 now, I got diagnosed around 3 years ago I think. I initially was diagnosed as a mild kind of bipolar b/c being on an anti-depressant (I was having some trouble dealing with something that had happened) triggered me, but since then b/c I have had episodes like when I went off of the lithium (I hated the lithium, I know, I know) I think I'm either diagnosed as Bipolar I or II. I don't think I've ever been full-blown manic, more hypomanic, though I'm honestly not sure where the line lies. I have had some problems with being a bit paranoid since I was a kid, but I don't know how they go about deciding on the diagnosis since it all seems overlapping and slightly - not arbitrary, but subjective.
I think that is something I'm trying to accept. I've never seen myself as having an eating disorder, just eating differently, but no matter how much I try I can't control it, and that maybe just not wanting to behave like that isn't enough, there's something else going on that I have to address, I just have to figure out what it is. Some stuff I don't know how to address though, and don't know if there's anything I'll ever be able to do to address it.
edit: thanks for believing me :)
oh, and the thought of trying another med scares me! I'm scared I won't be stable, I'm scared of the side effects (on lithium I was hypothyroid, and once after a short trail race in hot weather that I thought I would be fine taking my lithium the night before (longer races I skipped my meds the night before to avoid accidental lithium toxicity brought on by dehydration) I did have mild toxicity issues (including short-lived white blindness). I guess I'm just used to thinking of the negatives, not that a new kind of medication could actually be better.
I also worry, b/c one of the side effects of seroquel is diabetes, is that with the binging I'll screw up my insulin levels and become diabetic, though I don't know if that is a realistic concern or not.
I don't want to commit suicide, believe me! I have self-harmed, but I've never been suicidal. I think I'm pretty normal for a crazy person :) I try to be as normal as possible.
I'm 30 now, I got diagnosed around 3 years ago I think. I initially was diagnosed as a mild kind of bipolar b/c being on an anti-depressant (I was having some trouble dealing with something that had happened) triggered me, but since then b/c I have had episodes like when I went off of the lithium (I hated the lithium, I know, I know) I think I'm either diagnosed as Bipolar I or II. I don't think I've ever been full-blown manic, more hypomanic, though I'm honestly not sure where the line lies. I have had some problems with being a bit paranoid since I was a kid, but I don't know how they go about deciding on the diagnosis since it all seems overlapping and slightly - not arbitrary, but subjective.
I think that is something I'm trying to accept. I've never seen myself as having an eating disorder, just eating differently, but no matter how much I try I can't control it, and that maybe just not wanting to behave like that isn't enough, there's something else going on that I have to address, I just have to figure out what it is. Some stuff I don't know how to address though, and don't know if there's anything I'll ever be able to do to address it.
edit: thanks for believing me :)
oh, and the thought of trying another med scares me! I'm scared I won't be stable, I'm scared of the side effects (on lithium I was hypothyroid, and once after a short trail race in hot weather that I thought I would be fine taking my lithium the night before (longer races I skipped my meds the night before to avoid accidental lithium toxicity brought on by dehydration) I did have mild toxicity issues (including short-lived white blindness). I guess I'm just used to thinking of the negatives, not that a new kind of medication could actually be better.
I also worry, b/c one of the side effects of seroquel is diabetes, is that with the binging I'll screw up my insulin levels and become diabetic, though I don't know if that is a realistic concern or not.