Eileen's post was great. I have had a stalker and I would like to add a little more.
I'm male, the stalker was female. I knew who she was. I'm 5'10" 155 LBS, she's 5'5" 120 LBS.
At the time of the stalking I had been training in martial arts for more than 28 years, taught for 17 years, held a black belt in 13 different forms of martial arts, was previously ranked 3rd in the country for fighting and still did not want to confront the person. A gun is much more powerful than anything that I can deliver and you never know what these people have going on in their heads.
Okay now for pepper spray (over the years I taught a ton of self defense), in addition to knowing how to use it, make sure it is legal to carry in the area where you live. But please be sure to avoid situations where you would be confronted and have to use it. To this day...with all my training...I do everything I can to avoid a negative situation. It just isn't worth it.
I WOULD NEVER (caps on purpose) put your husband/partner in the harms way that someone above posted. The stalker is reacting to you one way and you never know the risk you would be putting your husband in by making him "your private investigator." Spend the money to hire one.
If you are truly in a small town (not sure what that means in your area), start letting people know that there is someone leaving notes on your car and of the situation. They may know someone that delt with the same person (now you would know who they are and the police can deal with them accordingly). Also the news will get out and your community (if it is really that small) will start watching out for you and possibly the stalker will stop. The negative of this is that it could upset the person and you don't know how they would react.
Notes on the car - I am assuming they are on the windshield under a wiper. I agree with keeping them as evidence but I would try leaving them there. Make the stalker feel as if it doesn't even bother you any more. The stalker is no longer getting any reaction out of you. There could also be a negative to this as well as it could frustrate the person and they may use different tactics to obtain a reaction or whatever it is that their derranged mind is getting from stalking you.
Please, please be careful. And don't dive into any family "friends" that can make him disappear. You will live with that forever and you don't sound like the type of person that would like to live with that.
"your horse is too high" - tigerchik
I'm male, the stalker was female. I knew who she was. I'm 5'10" 155 LBS, she's 5'5" 120 LBS.
At the time of the stalking I had been training in martial arts for more than 28 years, taught for 17 years, held a black belt in 13 different forms of martial arts, was previously ranked 3rd in the country for fighting and still did not want to confront the person. A gun is much more powerful than anything that I can deliver and you never know what these people have going on in their heads.
Okay now for pepper spray (over the years I taught a ton of self defense), in addition to knowing how to use it, make sure it is legal to carry in the area where you live. But please be sure to avoid situations where you would be confronted and have to use it. To this day...with all my training...I do everything I can to avoid a negative situation. It just isn't worth it.
I WOULD NEVER (caps on purpose) put your husband/partner in the harms way that someone above posted. The stalker is reacting to you one way and you never know the risk you would be putting your husband in by making him "your private investigator." Spend the money to hire one.
If you are truly in a small town (not sure what that means in your area), start letting people know that there is someone leaving notes on your car and of the situation. They may know someone that delt with the same person (now you would know who they are and the police can deal with them accordingly). Also the news will get out and your community (if it is really that small) will start watching out for you and possibly the stalker will stop. The negative of this is that it could upset the person and you don't know how they would react.
Notes on the car - I am assuming they are on the windshield under a wiper. I agree with keeping them as evidence but I would try leaving them there. Make the stalker feel as if it doesn't even bother you any more. The stalker is no longer getting any reaction out of you. There could also be a negative to this as well as it could frustrate the person and they may use different tactics to obtain a reaction or whatever it is that their derranged mind is getting from stalking you.
Please, please be careful. And don't dive into any family "friends" that can make him disappear. You will live with that forever and you don't sound like the type of person that would like to live with that.
"your horse is too high" - tigerchik