STConcierge wrote:
Rappstar wrote:
thanks Kathy. The positive response has been amazing. As I said to someone else, it's nearly impossible not to feel some sense of regret (maybe not the right word exactly) about not having been able to write something like that BEFORE. But nothing good comes of that - the thinking part. So I guess I just wanted to say something "out loud" (figuratively) to combat that feeling of wanting to have said something.
Jordan:
Thank you for such a beautifully written essay. Like Kathy, I don't understand the depression or suicidal feelings and thoughts.
But, like a lot of us on this Forum, I do understand the restless, constantly "striving" feelings that come with searching for new challenges, going faster, and "winning." Maybe even the unconscious running away from... what?
Can you offer suggestions for what we can do for our friends, fellow athletes, and pros we come into contact with?
Obviously, pro athletes and people we're not close to are probably not going to open up right then and there, but there are probably stupid things we should just not say...
But for friends and training buddies, I can think of two: listen better and pay attention, instead of "waiting to talk." And stick around to offer support.
Thanks again for saying something Out Loud.
KS
One thing that I think of a lot is a phenomenon Simon Whitfield describes, where his "space in a room" is already taken up before he even says a word. He is, "Simon Whitfield, Olympic Gold & Silver medalist." He is not allowed to be anyone else. He's not allowed to be a struggling father, or someone who isn't sure what he wants to do with the next 20 years of his life, etc. He *is* who he *was.* And I think that's a problem.
I can imagine with Dave Mirra, everyone probably ALWAYS told him how incredible he was. And I think that's problematic for a bunch of reasons. It makes it much harder to admit when you are struggling. And I think it also reinforces the idea that he is his past accomplishments, which then further reinforces the idea that he will be those things that he accomplishes going forward. And those two can build on each other. If you are both struggling AND feel like you need to achieve, achieve, achieve going forward, I can see that as a recipe for disaster.
Basically, I think we need to let people be who they are, NOT who we want or expect them to be. But that's really hard.
"Non est ad astra mollis e terris via." - Seneca | rappstar.com | FB - Rappstar Racing | IG - @jordanrapp