Good morning Slowtwitch!! Long time reader, first time poster.. Happy Thanksgiving.
I am a turkey, this is a tough day for me. Most of my buddies are on a plate today. But, for one day, the lowely turkey is America's Bird! For me, (this year at least), it is the best day of the year..
ME!!
My Brother!!
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I made my racing debut today.. I raced the local 5K, and set a new turkey world record. All the previous records were erased due to the Operation Poulty, which concluded that over 99% of all turkeys were taking steriods. I am clean! People ask me what I am on.. What am I on? I am on free range 16 hours a day. That is what I am on.
When I am not eating grasses and bugs I have adopted the Kenyan diet, a gruel of ground corn and soybean meal. Amazing how the Kenyans stay so skinny, but it fattens me and my buddies right up!
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So for today's race review.
I really wasn't prepared for this race. I was stolen off my roosting bar at 5am today, and jammed into a cage.. I was told I had to run a race!! My people MAY have told me I would be running today, but I am a turkey.. I forget things.
Pre race went okay. I ate lots of grapes, I like grapes.
But the media and photogs were all over me. It is hard to concentrate with so many commitments pre race. I understand why some of the pros shy away from the involvement with these vultures!
The start was a little tough. Lots of walkers had seeded themselves IN FRONT OF ME? And the drafting early on was ridiculous, where were the officials?
The aid station wasn't prepared for me! It was as if they had never dealt with a turkey before!
It was hard to stay on course with all that nice open field beside me.. Man, there were grasshoppers and uneaten weeds galore! I thought about just cutting off a little of the course, and eating some grass along the way. But, I didn't want to be the next "twitchhunt".
I crossed the line in 34:56 and am proud of my accomplishment. I got a 5K sticker for the car, and a new turkey world record!!
--EDIT--- I was just informed by a facebook friend that "according to her Garmin, the course was long... 3.17".. So my time is EVEN BETTER than previously reported.
Austin Hardy -
I am a turkey, this is a tough day for me. Most of my buddies are on a plate today. But, for one day, the lowely turkey is America's Bird! For me, (this year at least), it is the best day of the year..
ME!!
My Brother!!
[/url] I made my racing debut today.. I raced the local 5K, and set a new turkey world record. All the previous records were erased due to the Operation Poulty, which concluded that over 99% of all turkeys were taking steriods. I am clean! People ask me what I am on.. What am I on? I am on free range 16 hours a day. That is what I am on.
When I am not eating grasses and bugs I have adopted the Kenyan diet, a gruel of ground corn and soybean meal. Amazing how the Kenyans stay so skinny, but it fattens me and my buddies right up!
[/url] So for today's race review.
I really wasn't prepared for this race. I was stolen off my roosting bar at 5am today, and jammed into a cage.. I was told I had to run a race!! My people MAY have told me I would be running today, but I am a turkey.. I forget things.
Pre race went okay. I ate lots of grapes, I like grapes.
But the media and photogs were all over me. It is hard to concentrate with so many commitments pre race. I understand why some of the pros shy away from the involvement with these vultures!
The start was a little tough. Lots of walkers had seeded themselves IN FRONT OF ME? And the drafting early on was ridiculous, where were the officials?
The aid station wasn't prepared for me! It was as if they had never dealt with a turkey before!
It was hard to stay on course with all that nice open field beside me.. Man, there were grasshoppers and uneaten weeds galore! I thought about just cutting off a little of the course, and eating some grass along the way. But, I didn't want to be the next "twitchhunt".
I crossed the line in 34:56 and am proud of my accomplishment. I got a 5K sticker for the car, and a new turkey world record!!
--EDIT--- I was just informed by a facebook friend that "according to her Garmin, the course was long... 3.17".. So my time is EVEN BETTER than previously reported.
Austin Hardy -
Last edited by:
Top Turkey: Nov 27, 14 10:54