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Any experience moving a parent into assisted living?
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j2k2dad
Jun 7, 12 20:35
Post #1 of 11
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Any experience moving a parent into assisted living?
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The wife and I are looking in to moving her 80 year old mother to an assisted living facility.
We're in SoCal, where the cost of living isn't too elder-friendly.
Her only income is social security and a VA stipend (father in law was a Korean War vet).
We're looking at about a $600/month shortfall right off the bat, which will only go up as her need for care increases.
Are any of you aware of assistance programs of any kind that can help bridge the gap between a fixed income and assisted living costs?
We're looking for
any
way to reduce the burden this is going to place on our household...
Thanks for any insight or advice that may be gleaned from my LR brethren.
Cheers,
John
Ross
Jun 7, 12 21:17
Post #2 of 11
(486 views)
Re: Any experience moving a parent into assisted living? [j2k2dad]
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My mother has been in and out of Hospitals, Assisted Living and Skilled Nursing over the last few years. She does not have VA benefits but every place I looked at asked me if she had VA benefits so you may be in luck. You should be able to find this info pretty easily, if not go down to an assisted living facility and talk to them.
There are lots of referral agencies out there as well. I used "A Place for Mom". They will negotiate rates for you. They could also be a good resource to get the VA benefit info you may need.There is no fee for their services. Lots of assisted living facility options available such as private residences and apartment type living depending on how much assistance she needs.
Next step down the ladder is Skilled Nursing (Convalescent homes). In my moms case she got pretty sick and the hospital referred her to a Skilled Nursing facility. Her supplemental + Medicare covered 100 days and then they discharge or put you on private pay or you can apply for long term medicare benefits (A nightmare in itself). Your case will be different with the VA benefits, much better, but I don't know the specifics. I am in North San Diego County.
It is a stressful time, just remember you don't have to do this alone. Use the referral sources. I ended up hiring someone to assist with the long term Medicare after talking to two Lawyers about how to spend down/transfer her assets, which were not substantial at all.
Good Luck.
DawnT
Jun 8, 12 5:00
Post #3 of 11
(447 views)
Re: Any experience moving a parent into assisted living? [j2k2dad]
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I'm in the process of applying for the VA benefit now for my parents. There's a $2,000/month benefit available for any veteran who shows need and who served at least 90 days during wartime. Sounds like your father-in-law qualifies and the benefit flows down to his widow. Here's more info:
http://www.veteranaid.org/
Beware of organizations that will help you set this up. Many of them are just insurance companies trying to sell you an annuity. The biggest sticking point is that your mother-in-law can't have assets over $80,000 (exclusive of home and car), so you might have to put some assets into an irrevocable trust.
Good luck.
Brian in MA
Jun 8, 12 5:51
Post #4 of 11
(434 views)
Re: Any experience moving a parent into assisted living? [DawnT]
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My folks recently moved to an assisted living facility, fortunately they had purchased long-term care insurance about 15 years ago so that is covering the first few years of their care during the five-year lookback before Medicaid kicks in. Agree on the irrevocable trust as far as protecting assets.
"You can never win or lose if you don't run the race." - Richard Butler
j2k2dad
Jun 8, 12 6:31
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(416 views)
Re: Any experience moving a parent into assisted living? [Ross]
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Ross,
Thanks for the reply. We did use A Place for Mom for referrals to facilities in our area. They were very helpful, but there was no mention from them about negotiating rates. I'll look into that.
We have narrowed our search and settled on a likely facility to move her to. They have already started the VA paperwork that will need to be completed to increase her benefit (she already is in the VA system receiving a stipend) for Aid and Attendance which will get her to the max allowable aid from the VA.
Unfortunately, she has literally zero assets, although that does save us from yet another headache to deal with.
Thanks for the input. Getting old can really suck!
John
j2k2dad
Jun 8, 12 6:38
Post #6 of 11
(414 views)
Re: Any experience moving a parent into assisted living? [DawnT]
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DawnT,
She's already "in the system" with the VA, and has been receiving assistance to cover in-home assistance for the past year or so, but she now needs nearly round the clock daily assistance. The facility we've narrowed it down to has a representative to help us in getting her VA benefits increased, so that is one less bureaucratic hassle for us.
Thanks for your reply.
John
j2k2dad
Jun 8, 12 6:43
Post #7 of 11
(410 views)
Re: Any experience moving a parent into assisted living? [Brian in MA]
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Brian in MA,
Fortunately, no assets to protect. Although if that weren't the case, this wouldn't be so stressful!
My grandparents had long-term care insurance, and my grandmother (with late stage alzheimers) is now in a small, full service residence that costs ~$9k/month. Without that insurance coverage, I have no idea how she would be getting the care she needs.
Note to self- get long term care insurance so my kids aren't screwed when their mom & dad wear out...
Thanks for the reply.
John
travelmama
Jun 8, 12 7:30
Post #8 of 11
(394 views)
Re: Any experience moving a parent into assisted living? [j2k2dad]
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I am no sure where in Southern California you are but there is a monthly morning mixer at St. Marys Hospital put on by the Passages Program. There are many CEO/owner/employee attendees who may be able to offer information regarding your situation. I referred a senior client to this program who found a great deal of help for her 96 year old mother who she recently put in a home. Give a call and ask for more information
http://www.stmarymedicalcenter.org/Medical_Services/205856
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJLIiF15wjQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn-enjcgV1o
trigolt
Jun 8, 12 8:17
Post #9 of 11
(378 views)
Re: Any experience moving a parent into assisted living? [j2k2dad]
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We put my father in a nursing home for the past 8 months of his life a couple of years ago. He lived in Florida. All I can say is the system is very hard to navigate on your own. We found an agency in Florida that helped us with everything. Before that, we got so many different messages from nursing homes, etc. It was hard to figure out how it all worked and what best path was. For my father, he ended up qualifying for Medicaid. Early on in the process he was using Medicare and what they call a donut-hole policy. We did have to make several months of payments until he got on Medicaid, then everything was covered. I would look for a help agency in CA. Good luck, it's a difficult step.
SallyShortyPnts
Jun 8, 12 8:20
Post #10 of 11
(377 views)
Re: Any experience moving a parent into assisted living? [DawnT]
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DawnT wrote:
I'm in the process of applying for the VA benefit now for my parents. There's a $2,000/month benefit available for any veteran who shows need and who served at least 90 days during wartime. Sounds like your father-in-law qualifies and the benefit flows down to his widow. Here's more info:
http://www.veteranaid.org/
Beware of organizations that will help you set this up. Many of them are just insurance companies trying to sell you an annuity. The biggest sticking point is that your mother-in-law can't have assets over $80,000 (exclusive of home and car), so you might have to put some assets into an irrevocable trust.
Good luck.
Dawn, we missed you at this year's Womens Training Camp, so I hope you'll be able to join us next spring. many thanks for this information! My mother is going down pretty fast after Dad past away two years ago. As he was a WWII veteran, what's left of my small family will definitely look into this.
Once again, I'm amazed and heartened by what I learn in a triathlon forum!
Wag More, Bark Less
DawnT
Jun 8, 12 8:28
Post #11 of 11
(375 views)
Re: Any experience moving a parent into assisted living? [SallyShortyPnts]
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The assisted living facility my parents are in have been such a god-send. It was hard to convince them to move out of their home, but they love their new place. They have tons of activities to attend and even go down to a fitness class every morning (chair aerobics!). Previously, they were stuck in the house watching Fox News all the time. It's a great community. I strongly suggest people consider this before their parents are in a desperate situation. My parents were still able to care for themselves, but it was getting tough. Plus, we worried about them all the time. Now they have help available 24/7 at the push of a button, no walkway to shovel snow from, no dinners to have to cook, no cleaning and friends around all the time who care about them.
I missed the training camp too. Will try very hard to make it next time. Really missed the riding in that area plus Monty's margharitas!
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