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dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman?
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  • "ironman is not a as tough as everyone says it is", a woman I did not know walks up to me at birthday party for our kids

  • "you don't have to train for it do you", my dentist

  • "I talked to a friend who did one and he said if I trained I could probably beat you"... father-in-law

  • "most people finish in under 8 hours... right?", I think she knew I finished in 14 hours... oh and this was followed by some people who talked loud enough so I could hear, "do you think you could complete on. ya"

  • "you PRed but you hardly improved"

Plenty more... I don't bring up ironman in conversations, people learn from my wife or others. Maybe I don't look or act like someone who could complete one... but I have completed 4 full IMs... and it seems all I get are people belittling it all.

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I have another account here... I don't want to attach this to it. And yes these are all lines I got. Did you look at who said them?
Last edited by: littleone: Oct 12, 17 17:13
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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Strange first post. Not sure I believe this story. I almost have never heard anything like that from anyone.

-------------
Ed O'Malley
http://www.motivengines.com
@EdwardOMalley
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [RowToTri] [ In reply to ]
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RowToTri wrote:
Strange first post. Not sure I believe this story. I almost have never heard anything like that from anyone.

+1

A milers kick does the trick
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [RowToTri] [ In reply to ]
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Agreed. I don't think I've encountered that kind of response.

I try to avoid bringing up triathlon because of the opposite... people tend to think completing an olympic is heroic, or that it's somehow more or nobler than a pretty time-consuming and self-centered hobby.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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I would agree with ^^^^. As soon as people hear the actual distances that are covered, people look at me like I am off my rocker. Most even say "You find this fun? You have like a couple of days to do this right?"

I can't remember the last time I heard a "Oh I could probably do that." comment when it come to tris let a alone an IM.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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littleone wrote:

  • "ironman is not a as tough as everyone says it is", a woman I did not know walks up to me at birthday party for our kids

  • "you don't have to train for it do you", my dentist

  • "I talked to a friend who did one and he said if I trained I could probably beat you"... father-in-law

  • "most people finish in under 8 hours... right?", I think she knew I finished in 14 hours... oh and this was followed by some people who talked loud enough so I could hear, "do you think you could complete on. ya"

  • "you PRed but you hardly improved"

Plenty more... I don't bring up ironman in conversations, people learn from my wife or others. Maybe I don't look or act like someone who could complete one... but I have completed 4 full IMs... and it seems all I get are people belittling it all.

I think there are two possibilities:

1) You are coming across as full of yourself and people are putting you in your place.

2) You are surrounded by an unusually high percentage of insecure jerks who are strikingly good at inferring that you have recently completed an ironman.

In discerning between these two, I think the aphorism about how if you encounter an asshole, you encountered an asshole, but if everyone you encounter is an asshole, perhaps you're the asshole might provide useful guidance. My two cents, anyway.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [niccolo] [ In reply to ]
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I get some good responses... but usually shock. Like I said... I don't bring the topic up... it comes to me. The comments are from people with alpha-personalities... or think they are. Thank you for validating why I did not want to attach this to my other account.
Last edited by: littleone: Oct 12, 17 17:22
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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Shrug and walk away? Say Ok and change the subject? ''Go ahead try, I'll cheer you on and support you''.

Why do you care about what they say? It's a hobby and you might inadvertently say stupid things about other people's hobby only due to lack of knowledge.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [niccolo] [ In reply to ]
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I have heard similar comments. So I don't second guess the op.
Last edited by: Fishbum: Oct 12, 17 17:23
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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Obviously, you should agree with whatever these people say, and respond that you don't take them seriously but do them for fun with some of your spare time.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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Pretty clear you've surrounded yourself with assholes. May be time to take a look at some of your life choices that have led you to these people.

Or perhaps the wardrobe consisting of an m-dot hat, finisher shirt, m-dot shorts, m-dot shoes, visible m-dot tattoo, medal, and months-old transition bracelet you were still wearing along with constantly mentioning to everyone that you did an Ironman is finally getting some blowback.

Trent Nix
Tri Shop - Plano, Texas
http://www.trishop.com
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F.I.S.T. Advanced Certified Fitter | Retul Master Certified Fitter
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [trentnix] [ In reply to ]
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trentnix wrote:
Pretty clear you've surrounded yourself with assholes. May be time to take a look at some of your life choices that have led you to these people.

Or perhaps the wardrobe consisting of an m-dot hat, finisher shirt, m-dot shorts, m-dot shoes, visible m-dot tattoo, medal, and months-old transition bracelet you were still wearing along with constantly mentioning to everyone that you did an Ironman is finally getting some blowback.

lol... true... I should get a divorce...
I have never worn any of that around the repeat offenders. My wife wants me to get the M-dot tattoo... I'm shore that would go over real well...
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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I've been doing them for 17 years and looking at me you would never guess I'm a triathlete. I've never heard anything like these comments. Either you're making this up or you hang around a lot of shitty people.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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The day before I did my first Ironman, my mother (who happens to have been a child psychologist her whole career) said to me, "I don't understand why you want to waste so much time doing this." I told her there were a lot worse things I could be doing with my free time, and her response was, "Well, I suppose you could be doing drugs in your free time, but that's the only thing that would be worse."
Around that same time frame she also told me that I was going to mess up my body and never be able to get pregnant, that I would get big muscles so everyone would think I'm a lesbian and nobody would want to marry me, etc.
Everyone else in my life seems very supportive, though.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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Fishbum wrote:
I have heard similar comments. So I don't second guess the op.

Interesting; I’ve never heard anything of the sort. And I have a hard time buying that a newcomer just happens to make a first post as starting a thread that will just dovetail so perfectly with the race kits at packet pickup one. It’s just chum for the water (please no shark attacks on Saturday).

---
The point is, ladies and gentleman, that speed, for lack of a better word, is good. Speed is right, Speed works. Speed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [Iron Dukie] [ In reply to ]
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Iron Dukie wrote:
The day before I did my first Ironman, my mother (who happens to have been a child psychologist her whole career) said to me, "I don't understand why you want to waste so much time doing this." I told her there were a lot worse things I could be doing with my free time, and her response was, "Well, I suppose you could be doing drugs in your free time, but that's the only thing that would be worse."
Around that same time frame she also told me that I was going to mess up my body and never be able to get pregnant, that I would get big muscles so everyone would think I'm a lesbian and nobody would want to marry me, etc.
Everyone else in my life seems very supportive, though.

Good to hear from someone else whose mother was similar to mine. Hell, she thought I spent way too much time when just i swam 1 to 1.5 hr/day, 7 days/wk, let alone once i started triathlons. Obv being a guy I did not get the negative female-specific comments but rather she was always saying how i should be playing golf and doubles tennis to schmooze and work my way up the corporate ladder. Well, all i can say is fark golf and tennis and fark the ladder. She is deceased now so i no longer have to listen her constant sniping.


"Anyone can be who they want to be IF they have the HUNGER and the DRIVE."
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [Iron Dukie] [ In reply to ]
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Iron Dukie wrote:
The day before I did my first Ironman, my mother (who happens to have been a child psychologist her whole career) said to me, "I don't understand why you want to waste so much time doing this." I told her there were a lot worse things I could be doing with my free time, and her response was, "Well, I suppose you could be doing drugs in your free time, but that's the only thing that would be worse."
Around that same time frame she also told me that I was going to mess up my body and never be able to get pregnant, that I would get big muscles so everyone would think I'm a lesbian and nobody would want to marry me, etc.
Everyone else in my life seems very supportive, though.

Knowing what I know of parents, she’d have found something to disapprove of no matter what you did. You’re either proud and supportive of your kids or you aren’t, and you can find reasons for either.

My dad said I was spending too much time training and would never meet a girl; I’m now playing Sherpa for my wife at Kona. Her mother is much like yours.

Sorry you have to deal with that.

---
The point is, ladies and gentleman, that speed, for lack of a better word, is good. Speed is right, Speed works. Speed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [niccolo] [ In reply to ]
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niccolo wrote:


1) You are coming across as full of yourself and people are putting you in your place.

2) You are surrounded by an unusually high percentage of insecure jerks who are strikingly good at inferring that you have recently completed an ironman.

In discerning between these two, I think the aphorism about how if you encounter an asshole, you encountered an asshole, but if everyone you encounter is an asshole, perhaps you're the asshole might provide useful guidance. My two cents, anyway.

Exactly what I was going to write.

The only people that I know that would attract those kinds of comments are the type that drone on about their achievements, plaster their pre-race, race, post-race photos all over Facebook/Wankagram etc It's unlikely that all these people are assholes. Perhaps that is the case and you're unlucky? Who knows. Maybe just have a rethink about how you portray yourself on social media and to friends/family when it comes to triathlon. People appreciate humility and self-deprecation. Be self-critical and self analytical. Have a think about what you could be doing wrong as opposed to thinking these people are wrong. And I concur with others, I have never heard a non-triathlete claim they could do an Ironman or they are easy. All of them are staggered at the distances and times.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [zedzded] [ In reply to ]
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zedzded wrote:
niccolo wrote:



1) You are coming across as full of yourself and people are putting you in your place.

2) You are surrounded by an unusually high percentage of insecure jerks who are strikingly good at inferring that you have recently completed an ironman.

In discerning between these two, I think the aphorism about how if you encounter an asshole, you encountered an asshole, but if everyone you encounter is an asshole, perhaps you're the asshole might provide useful guidance. My two cents, anyway.


Exactly what I was going to write.

The only people that I know that would attract those kinds of comments are the type that drone on about their achievements, plaster their pre-race, race, post-race photos all over Facebook/Wankagram etc It's unlikely that all these people are assholes. Perhaps that is the case and you're unlucky? Who knows. Maybe just have a rethink about how you portray yourself on social media and to friends/family when it comes to triathlon. People appreciate humility and self-deprecation. Be self-critical and self analytical. Have a think about what you could be doing wrong as opposed to thinking these people are wrong. And I concur with others, I have never heard a non-triathlete claim they could do an Ironman or they are easy. All of them are staggered at the distances and times.


After I completed my 2nd marathon, I was at my in-laws with my wife. I didn't bring up the subject and he said "I've completed a marathon"... to which his wife said "no you didn't". I could see he was irritated. I never brought up anything I have done. I have made it a point to not tell people what I have done... After completing my 4th marathon and going under 4 hours, my father-in-law takes me in his car and tells me how he could beat me at a marathon..." with frustration in his voice. From what I have learned he has gone on about all his past athletic achievements... with everybody, however I don't think he has ever run further than 5 miles in his life.

Perhaps my writing and the assumed responses to it paints the picture best... I come across not matching up. I look inferior and since people like to establish a pecking order they hate what I am doing. I don't have to say a word about anything. Here is another for you... for my first IM, people at work placed bets on whether I would finish or not. But I don't think this is anything as bad as those other remarks.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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littleone wrote:


After I completed my 2nd marathon, I was at my in-laws with my wife. I didn't bring up the subject and he said "I've completed a marathon"... to which his wife said "no you didn't". I could see he was irritated. I never brought up anything I have done. I have made it a point to not tell people what I have done... After completing my 4th marathon and going under 4 hours, my father-in-law takes me in his car and tells me how he could beat me at a marathon..." with frustration in his voice. From what I have learned he has gone on about all his past athletic achievements... with everybody, however I don't think he has ever run further than 5 miles in his life.

Perhaps my writing and the assumed responses to it paints the picture best... I come across not matching up. I look inferior and since people like to establish a pecking order they hate what I am doing. I don't have to say a word about anything. Here is another for you... for my first IM, people at work placed bets on whether I would finish or not. But I don't think this is anything as bad as those other remarks.

Yes, looks like you never just casually drop all our marathons and IMs in conversation. :)

Just giving you a hard time.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [Toby] [ In reply to ]
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I have heard them. Usually they are from individuals who are open sport of some type that typically assume because they are/were fast at one type of event, then they should extrapolate that they would be good at all three.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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Are you very overweight? This is the only explanation I can think of.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [noon3225] [ In reply to ]
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noon3225 wrote:
Are you very overweight? This is the only explanation I can think of.

No... thin.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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Well, I've never done a full, but my peeps would not know a full from a half from an oly from a marathon or a color run. I get the blank stare with a half smile. And mostly I get confusion. What are the parts of a Tri? Is that what my neighbor did once? How long is it supposed to take? The meanest I've ever gotten is 'why aren't you skinny as a rail with all that exercise?' Food. Food is why. Food makes fat. Excercise makes fitness.

Hillary Trout
San Luis Obispo, CA

Born a swimmer, borrowed a bike, laced up some runners, and the rest just fell into place for a solid MOP life.
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Re: dealing with uplifting comments after completing ironman? [littleone] [ In reply to ]
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Not quite sure why you wouldn't want to attach this to your other account especially if you've been a respectful poster on that account. It might have actually been taken more seriously if you had, just saying.

That being said, yea, I've had some negative comments after running a ultra. The thing is that they mostly come from a small minority of people who are just plain losers and negative about almost anything. I actually have more then a few people who are way overweight that seem to be quite proud of me when I'm running a lot of races.

For the ones that are negative, that just drives me to run/bike more and at a higher level.

FWIW I run trails, mostly 50k or less, never have done a tri.
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