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I reject your reality and substitute my own!
Adam Savage

So this was odd today...

I was sharing a lane with someone, so I took the right side of the lane (from the home end). There were also two people sharing a lane directly to my right....

As I was swimming, I felt my hand smack against something (I thought it was maybe the lane line), but I peaked my head up and the person that was in the lane next to me stopped and looked right at me... I said "Are you okay?!?" and the person nodded their head. I thought maybe I smacked the person in the head somehow....

I did a few more lengths and somehow it happened AGAIN! I just kept right on swimming and was questioning my technique as to how I was hitting this person.

I finished my session and got out of the pool and I had to watch this person to see what was happening.

As it turns out, the person's recovery stroke swung out over the lane line and into the line I was in every single time. So apparently I was somehow hitting the person's hand as I went by because it was over top of me.....

It's not unusual for that to happen...happens to me from time to time in masters. I've read on this forum that's why some pools circle swim in opposite directions in adjoining lanes.

I broke a teammate's hand in college hitting her over the landline with a paddle on. Felt terrible about that...

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I wrote this, you should read it:
https://www.slowtwitch.com/...n_Swimming_6700.html

Kickboard
Parachute
Band

I think I witnessed a new slow speed record that holds even for the "Strange Denizens".

In the lane next to me was a guy with a very odd stroke I had never seen before. He was using a noodle for buoyancy and in a seated position. He was propelling himself using a bicycle kick...forwards. By that I mean he was bicycle kicking but pulling himself in the direction of his legs.

He was creeping along so slowly that I became intrigued and took note of the time he started a length. Turns out he was going about 4:45...per length (it was a 25m pool.) So that would just under 20 minutes for 100m.

Lady at masters usually in the next lane does this. Her right arm recovery has her hand pointing out into our lane from her elbow instead of hanging down. Not so bad if it's just her hand hitting mine - I have to assume that hurts her worse than me. However, when she has a paddle on it's brutal. She has been swimming there for years and no one else seems to have the issue (to my knowledge) so perhaps my form is off as well. I am the new/occasional guy so I just shake it out and move on.

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"It's good enough for who it's for" - Grandpa Wayne

That sounds to me like a hamstring strengthening/rehab exercise of some sort, not an attempt to swim.

I somehow missed this when you posted. For years I swam at a 3-lane pool at my workplace (university). We had our share of denizens like most places, but it was fine. One day a gentleman showed up. It turns out he was a retired English professor. At the time he was 92, almost completely blind, and had a long scar down his sternum. He had for many years swam at the university's competition pool, but policy changes forced him to change pools.

For the next three years he showed up like clockwork on MWF at 11 just like me. So I and the other regulars got to know him well and we quickly developed the same sort of norms (and enforcement) that you describe with Carly. He always got lane 1 to himself.

Then one Monday, followed by the next Wednesday, he didn't show. I just knew. It didn't take long for me to find out that he'd died in his sleep over the weekend. He was always friendly, he seemed to really enjoyed his life and he just loved swimming.

Right about this time both my kids were gravitating towards making swimming their primary sport and I confess I strongly favored this over the other sports they were playing. What I say to them and other parents is I don't expect (or even necessarily want) them to swim competitively in college. But unlike just about any other sport, swimming is something they can do their whole lives, even into their 90s.

Just about every pool I have used regularly going back to the 70's when I was a kid has had older gals and gents swimming. Summer pool when I was little had an 80 year old gentleman who did laps almost every day.

At our Y a few years ago I got out of the pool and a guy about my age came over and said "my dad was watching you swim and wants to race you". I looked over to see an elderly gentleman in a wheel chair smiling. Over time I got to know them a little bit. His dad was state champ in 30's. Fought in the battle of the bulge. Like clock work a few days a week his son would bring him to the pool and help him get into the water. He would swim some laps using a snorkel. Great to see both their devotion. Dad to swimming and son to dad.

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"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

Sweat jesus, I finally did it - \o/ - I've made it through every single post of this epic thread!! Have had a couple of things to share but was unsure they were new or suitable. (But after at least 50 entries on drying balls with hand/hair dryers, I understand I had set the bar unnecessarily high.)

I'll start by calling myself out. I've been the earlier dubbed Horrible Hand Cross-over Person. I used to think it felt really speedy, the way I'd kinda corkscrew through the water. That's right, 1:51 in my first 2.4 mi OWS, speedy for sure.

I've also been WTF Wetsuit Person. One day I got it in my head to work wetsuit transitions by showing up to the pool in my wetsuit, jumping in for a quick start 50 or 100, then jumping out and stripping my wetsuit off - while timing myself, of course. THEN, to get 3-4 trials in, I re-donned my wetsuit while already wet. I may have looked like an idiot (may have...) but come on, give me props for muscling through that admittedly silly endeavor.

Then there was my workout tonight. Remember Elaine's dancing in Seinfeld ("a full body dry heave set to music")? I suspect this is what I resembled as I jerked from purposeful (albeit still AOS-y) swimming to trying not to drown following the gnarly spasming of my right calf. I sometimes get these intense contractions. I made my way to the ladder and onto the deck where I could see my calf twitching up a storm. Damn that was painful. Denizen name: Elaine Stanky Leg?

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To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

I was the guy who would bring a little bottle of pickle juice to combat those calf cramps. Honestly surprised that it worked bc I really didn't think it would. I rarely get cramps but for a month in the pool they became quite common. Might be another way to add yourself to the list ;)

The real question is, why don't I remember I have this stuff in my swim bag? Guess I should move the bottle to my toys bag so it's pool side instead of in the locker room. Thanks for letting me know it actually works.

Oh, and truth be told there already are more ways I could call myself out as a denizen.

- Forgot Swimsuit Girl, forges on in sports bra and skort or basketball shorts (unfortunately happened more than once). Due to the excess drag, I nearly became The Flasher as my bottom half garment was nearly stripped off my hips when pushing off the wall.

- Forgot Towel Person, dried off using my socks and used my t-shirt for my hair, and then wore the wet t-shirt to get home. The day I arrived at the pool realizing I'd forgotten both my suit and towel I just turned around and left. Wish I had realized it before getting all the way into the locker room, though.

There's certainly more if we go back to discussing swim technique but I'll stop here so I don't end up making myself cry.

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To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Thanks for the chuckle this morning!

Earlier this week in the ladies change room, there was a lady taking topless selfies. Bent over, right in the viewfinder, topless selfies.

And then she took her phone on to the pool deck. Not that she swam. About 2 minutes in the water floating vertically and the remainder of the hour in the hot tub/steam room.

Unfortunately I have been a witness to The Spanker / Self Manipulator. 2-3 seasons ago I returned to the locker room after my swim and as usual, headed for the showers. This is a row of 6 individual stalls with solid doors (except for the one that was removed, I use that stall for my pre-swim rinse down), and one more accessible stall with a curtain, folding bench, handrails and hand held shower wand. For reasons I don't understand, some folks do the naked thing in the open stall, or like this lady, in a stall with door in open swing stance. I generally avert my eyes from the immodest people but her crouching down caught my attention.... and then the sight of her finger in her genitals. OMFG, WHY? Why the hell would you do that in an opened stall with your squatted crotch facing toward the opened door???.

This is high up on my list of things I wish I could un-see.

Just last month a post on the Women for Tri Facebook group caught my attention, regarding spontaneous emissions of locked up fluid following time spent in water / swimming. If you don't know, this can occur hours later and if you don't happen to be wearing a pad / liner, it feels a bit like wetting your pants and leaves you feeling icky in wet undies (er, or so I'm told?). One commenter included a link to an informative article listing methods for encouraging emission at more convenient times, such as by using the toilet or by inserting a finger vaginally while showering.

So while my feelings of "close the door, you perve!" still stand, I guess it's possible this denizen's actions were preventative rather than for self gratification.

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To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

As few more:

"Kickboard Guy" whose only drill seems to be 40 minutes on the kickboard, hogging the whole lane.
"Creepy Old Man" does one lap, then tries to chat up the younger women. Will sometimes follow them into the hot tub.
"The Rescue Swimmer" glides in the water more than he swims, but can go on forever at that 3 minute per 100 pace...

I was the denizen tonight - twice.

I have a lock for which you can change the letters and numbers to form a word of your choice. After my last trip to the pool I changed the lock to something meaningful to me. Problem is, today I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was. I stood in the locker room for a good 10 minutes, in my suit and a towel, spinning letters and numbers, trying to remember. When it finally came to me I practically shouted, "yes!", drawing a few stares.

With my belongings secure, I headed to the pool. I must have zoned out (trying to remember my lock combination?) because when I approached the wall and caught sight of legs dangling in my lane, I was so startled I screamed. I immediately started laughing and the poor young lady said something like "Uh, I just want to share your lane." I was laughing so hard I had to take a break. I'm not sure why legs in the pool startled me so?????

Other than that, the pool was full of the usual beginning-of-the-year doggie paddlers and side strokers, so I like to think I gave them some entertainment.

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http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com

So "Locker Guy" and "The Screamer" are the same person...

I was a weird denizen today. I did a 300m kick set, then 300m swim, before getting out of the pool.

To be fair, it was the middle of the day on the hottest day in years, and there were hundreds of kids there. The water was a little bit too yellow and fragrant for my liking.

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'It never gets easier, you just get crazier.'

[quote georged

I was a weird denizen today. I did a 300m kick set, then 300m swim, before getting out of the pool.[/quote]
By that standard, I'm a strange denizen several times a week. After a hard running workout, I like to go for a short swim - 500-1000 yards usually. Really helps with recovery.

My pool was a hotbed of denizen activity last night.

A woman flagged me down between sets to ask me how many feet it was to the end of the pool. I stammered something like, "well, it's a 25 meter pool, so something like 75 feet." To her credit she swam all the way down, rested at the wall, and swam all the way back before getting out. I hope I see her again and she does two laps next time.

Two young ladies in short shorts and t-shirts seemed do be doing some kind of water aerobics and/or Dirty Dancing-style dance lift practicing in the shallow end.

A gaggle of teen boys were having shallow end races, unintentionally playing frogger with me as they floated from lane to lane, and generally goofing off but not bothering anyone else. Unsurprisingly, when the two young ladies started with their dance lift practice, the gaggle of boys moved to a lane closer to them.

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http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com

Are men swimming in thong speedos a common thing?

Every morning when I go to swim there is the same man swimming laps in a thong. I've seen plenty of men swimming in normal speedos but I was a bit shocked to see someone swimming in a thong.

I love the feel of water running over my bare cheeks, but you'd be hard-pressed to get me in a thong at a public pool...

I guess if none of the unspeakable bits are showing, fair game, but still.

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Eliot
blog thing - strava thing

I was swimming at the local Y during the day with 4 lanes and all but one lane has two people swimming. As per expectation, I go the lane with only one person, an elderly woman swimming very slowly but, hey, getting her workout in. She gets to the end and I politely lean over to ask her if I could swim with her. Didn't hear me at all. Hey, no worries, I will just wait until she gets to the other end, catch up with her, and let her know I'm here.
I get in, swim up to her and make sure I don't scare her then say "hey...the other lanes are full, do you mind if I join you in this lane?" She looks right at me, gasps, then says "no....no....i can't have that...i have wide arms when I swim" then proceeds to swim to the other end of the pool. While still in the middle of processing that, the lifeguard sees the puzzled look on my face so comes over to ask me what's up. I tell her the deal so she walks over to the lady to let her know that she needs to share.
After a couple of minutes of animation with arm flailing involved, the lifeguard walks back and tells me that the lady just recovered from a broken foot and is nervous about someone hitting it. Besides, she's almost done. With that, I get out of the pool, stand on the edge for a few minutes a wait for her to finish. In the scheme of things, I had to wait a few minutes to swim and the lady got her workout done with no one running into her. No harm no foul.

Yuk.
I could have gone all day without that image in my mind, I think I might lose my lunch.

I guess I now know a way to help me shed those unwanted pounds.

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I saw this on a white board in a window box at my daughters middle school...
List of what life owes you:
1. __________
2. __________
3. __________

I swim in NYC, generally the pool is full with type A super athletes. Pretty intimidating actually. No issues sharing 3 to a lane and circle swimming. It's just like that almost every night.

Last night 1/2 of the outside lane was being used for a lesson. No worries, I used the other half. Actually worked out well, didn't have to circle. I'm just finishing my 300y warm up and a woman from the middle lane scoots over to my lane to use the ladder to get out. No big deal. I then start my 8x50s. On my return, same lady is still on the ladder. Weird. I look up at her during my 15s pause and she's leaning off the ladder, sticking a leg out - stretching. She's stretching off the ladder. Lifeguard is eyeing her. She's pretty aware of my presence, so I'm not all that concerned. I continue with my 50s, and she continues stretching. Somewhere around my 4th or 5th 50, she's now dead man's floating at the end of the lane holding her ankles as I come into the wall. I stop short. Eventually lifeguard kicks her out...bizzarre.

Also last night, slightly less bizzarre, an older woman is doing laps with the kickboard out in front and the pull buoy between her legs, trying to kick...not sure what the goal of that was.