I finally have one worth posting!

In the middle of my swim this morning I noticed the woman in the lane next to me was no longer there and there was someone new in that lane. He was maybe like 50-60, using paddles, but doing some drills on his side or something, I didn't get a good look at what they were. BUT then he would do laps almost in a sitting position with his legs in front of him and swimming backwards. All while wearing shorts and an old school cotton SWEATSHIRT!

I'm sure this is commonplace across pools worldwide...but nonetheless I introduce you to Air Drying Naked Old Guy. At my pool I swim at there is a bank of about 5 push button air dryers about 5 ft up in the air on an empty wall. Naked Old Guy (N.O.G.) likes to stand in between two of them facing the wall then N.O.G. proceeds to angle the blowers at him and rests his arms against each of the dryers like he is about to do the butterfly up the wall and stands there like this for a good 5-10 minutes to ensure N.O.G's armpits are dry. It is a spectacle that no ones eyes should ever see, yet I seem to see it 3 days a week each time I get out of the pool.

Recently met Jeans Guy. He swam next to me for over a half hour wearing jeans and a long sleeve shirt??? Half free half back, very slow.

I finally have one!!! (Been trolling for months) I get to the pool where they guy had two solo cups...one for his spit because he had a "chew" in and the other is for a coffee. Only 3 lanes at this particular Y and all three only have 1 swimmer each. He waits for 20+ minutes for the one guy to get out, then, with his board shorts, places his coffee and chew up next to edge and jumps in. Here I am worrying about how much time I had between my oatmeal breakfast and swimming and this guy strolls up spittin' in a cup.

Not witnessed by me (thankfully!) but my 15-year old daughter just started guarding at the Y where I swim. She came home from work the other night and told us that during her shift, one of the guards was doing the rounds of the showers/locker room etc and happened upon an elderly gent, um.. enthusiastically enjoying himself on a bench in the locker room. The guard told him to stop and the old guy's response was to ask for a little more time "because he was almost done".

Ended up with the police being called, and the guards restricting access to the locker area until the police showed up and charged him with whatever it is they charge you with for spanking the monkey in a Y locker room.

That's a very shitty situation. I used to be a lifeguard and fortunately it didn't happen to me but you hear a lot of stories of people just exposing themselves to other lady lifeguards for whatever fucked up reason...

I just found this thread so I'll share my pool story. I used to swim at the university pool during my lunch break from classes. There was this one kid who would come out of the locker room in full on pre-Olympic final 100m race gear, swim cap tightly on, googles, very long and warm jacket, hat and bose headphones. He looked like he was about to compete for gold. He sat on the bench near the shallow end and do breathing exercises (almost hyperventilating) for a few minutes before doing his arm swings and then would jump in the pool, do a couple all-out no good form 25 m followed by a 2 min break. He'd leave after like 20 minutes of this having swam maybe 200-300 m... Quite a show!

This week's strange denizen was the pool management themselves. Water main shut off. No water service to the pool. No showers. No restrooms (locked). Nothing. But the pool was open and we could swim.

Because I swim at various Ys in the Philly area, do you mind sharing which Y this was so I can hopefully avoid it?

Seems like oddly rational thought to me. Pools already full...pumps are working. So, hey if you wanna swim knowing you cant shower or pee after....why not?

My contribution:

The other day, I head to the pool to do some laps. Posted rules are that two swimmers share a lane; three or more circle swim. There are also posted lane speeds - slow, medium, fast - which are often ignored.

As it happens, every lane has two swimmers of greatly different speeds, meaning that circle swimming will be annoying. (I'll circle swim, but I prefer it to be with people of similar speed). I'm not in a huge rush, so I opt just to wait. And a few minutes later, someone departs a lane, leaving a single pool-runner.

[He's pool-running while clasping a basketball (not a water polo ball) to his chest, but that's not the basis for this story, just an odd aside.]

I walk over to that lane, dip my legs in, and ask the pool-runner if we can split and which side he prefers.

"Circle swim only! You always circle swim. It's rude to other people not too."

I explain to him that the posted rules are that two people split, but he's not having it. I also explain that if we try to do circles, since he's pool-running and I'm swimming, it will be hard for me not to run into him. He responds that that's my problem, and that I need to learn to share and to swim around other people. His voice gets elevated.

I get up, walk over to one of the lifeguards, and ask her whether we should split or circle swim. She confirms that splitting is correct and it would be odd to circle swim with just the two of us. I then return and explain to him that the lifeguard prefers that we split, but he's still not having it.

"Circle swim only!" Loudly.

About that time, another swimmer exits a different lane. Great, I'll just swim there. Issue solved, I think.

Except that this action enrages him even more, and he loudly berates me for my selfishness and unwillingness to share the pool with others as I walk across the deck. In his view, I am a horrible person.

It was just really odd, and a bit disturbing.

Sounds rather a lot like some of my special-needs students... Fixation on routines and rules ... (even if the applicable rule is share, perhaps in his mind it is to always circle no matter how many people..)

This morning, sharing a lane with another swimmer. No issues. Except when an older (60ish), over-weight woman entered our lane and proceeded to walk up the middle of the lane. She wouldn't move. Life guard couldn't get her to move. Management got involved, but I just left the pool at that point. This lady gave zero fucks.

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The curious task of economics is to demonstrate to men how little they really know about what they imagine they can design.

Some Thursday nights at my local 50m council pool in Brisbane I do squad training with my tri group. We go from 6.15-7.15pm with pool closure at 7.30.
Once we get through warm up we normal have a chat about the main set. At this time it is common to look across the pool and see body board paddling guy. This guy turns up and paddles on his board for maybe 500m at easy to moderate pace. With about 5 rest stops.

Maybe it is good for his boarding, I don't know ?

We also have dead-slow-no-kicking-freestyle guy. He is painful to watch, you just want to give him a few tips.

Fat guy, around 60, red swim cap, is always lounging around the pool. Looking around, as if he will start swimming soon, but mostly he doesn't. Swims quite allright though, some times I'me lucky and see him actually swimming. He should know me by now too and I decided to greet him wednesday. He replied with a short nod.

Been waiting for months to post in this thread...at the pool last night, some jabroni is walking up and down one of the lanes, while face-timing/conference calling. stayed on the phone and was switching back/forth between the pool and hot tub.

Seeing more and more of this plus water aerobics nonsense...might be time to find a better pool

The other day there was an older gentleman at the pool. He was wearing a speedo. no big deal, except this one was too large and/or stretched out, leaving his family jewels and carrying sack on full display for everyone....

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Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

There was also some weirdo with a gopro attached to a bike handle bar and some weights at your pool the other day who kept filming himself.

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I wrote this, you should read it:
https://www.slowtwitch.com/...n_Swimming_6700.html

I know, right.

freak....

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Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

Gym has a lap pool, and a separate pool for gym and water aerobics.

Water aerobics going on, maybe 60% full. 1 lady using the lap pool to follow along with the water aerobics.

Saw a woman walking into my pool today at noon with an ankle-length black down coat, buttoned to the neck. It was over 80 F.

The kids on the swim team at my Y all have the long Michael Phelps warm up jackets.

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All I Wanted Was A Pepsi, Just One Pepsi

Team Zoot, Team Zoot Mid-Atlantic

Two older women, one an AOS, switched to swimming at the Y. I moved over a few months before. I know them pretty well since they've both been masters swimmers and participate in masters meets.

What makes them strange denizens is that they both intrude on others in the water by offering stroke advice and technique tips to anyone and everyone. They do so, because they have convinced themselves that they are really good swimmers and also certified coaches.

Background: the older swimmer has actually told anyone around that she swam in the 1960 Olympics. She's about 74 years old. I've been told by people who have come out of her locker room that she is an Olympian. She has not one, but two Olympic ring tattoos on her back. She got the second one when her first, a "tramp stamp," got obscured by the higher-cut suit she wears for her back issues. Obviously, the tattoo is there so people can ask "Did you go to the Olympics?" I've made a few men very angry that their wives were lied to. I've pointed out that it's impossible not to check that kind of claim. I even saw a picture of her and her tattoo, taken at a Masters meet, and published in a major city newspaper. The problems with this are that she both had to lie to the reporter/photographer, and there wasn't any research done. Another problem is that either those who are being told get it mixed up, or she herself has it mixed up, bc I've also heard, second-hand, that she claims to have been at the "1966" Olympics in Rome. Interestingly, everyone in the local masters community knows this to be untrue. It's funny that when we have Masters meets, a true 1960 Olympian (and medal-winner), David Gilanders comes, and she avoids him like the plague.

I don't know if the other, the adult-onset swimmer, is being tricked, but she seems to act like the "Olympian" is the real deal.

Both are now "certified" Masters coaches. This means they happened to go to a couple of clinics. So, they intrude on the workouts of others, offer unwelcome tips, and try to move others out of the lanes they want because they are doing "serious workouts." To amplify their "credentials," they boast about the medals they win at "the world Championships." In this case, these are meets like the US Masters Games, The Huntsman World Senior Games, and the World Masters Games. They go on and on about medaling in these events that have other "amazing" and "Olympian" women, in all age groups. (In a moment of lost concentration, the AOS said she wasn't going to the USMS Nationals in MN this summer "because the standards are stupid fast," ignoring the fact that they get three free events without a met standard). They medal because they finish top ten in events few others swim at a small meet with an impressive-sounding title. It's like saying they got on the podium at a local charity 5 or 10k, when the real movers are at the Peachtree Road Race, Boston, Chicago, NY, or MCM. What they do is very obviously avoid the true competition, USMS Nationals or FINA Worlds.

Strange Denizens: the ones who brag about nothing.

There's an old guy at my pool. Always there. Every day. At 11:30 sharp. Same lane. Lane 3. I get there today and a woman was swimming in "his" lane. The nerve! Doesn't she know that's his lane?! But then the old guy never showed up today.

According to the local legend, this guy has swam at this pool, same time, same lane, since the 70s, and is refusing to change his routine if asked. The rest of us have figured if he hadn't made a change in 40 years he certainly won't change if someone asked him now, so we just leave him alone.

He wasn't there today. Welp I think the old guy is dead.

"the pool will be closed at noon for a viking funeral in lane 3."

I used to swim with a bunch of guys in their 70's and 80's. I was in my early 30's. Every year one would never come back. I was always afraid to ask why they weren't swimming anymore.