My brother and I both worked at the city pool for YEARS... I hope he chimes in b/c he opened the pool every morning and got all the really really weird ones... And the ones who show up first thing in the morning eevery day ARE the weirdest ones without a doubt.
But the best was this little, tiny old man who showed up every day in a blue and red 70's track suit. He must have been in his late 80s at least and weighed about 90 lbs. He'd even show up on days like christmas eve or sundays when there was no open swimming b/c he had no idea what day it was. He always drove himself there (even in blizzards) in a big old 70s car, which is scary b/c he was soooo not coherent. He used to give us lifeguards silver dimes on occassion and tell us that they stopped making those during the War.
He started bringing a camera to the pool and tried to take photos of the old ladies in their swim suits. And he would hold his breath under water trying to look at them. The final straw came when he hadn't paid his locker rental fees and they cleaned his locker out and found a bunch of porn stashed there. The kicker... he always went by the nickname "Woody."
The other weird one that stands out was when I worked at the university pool in college. There was another frail, ancient little guy who used to come every day with his nautical-themed shorts pulled up to his nipples. Apparently, he was a highly respected former professor who'd been at the university forever and was always pretty much allowed to do whatever he wanted. He would come every day and ride one of those foam noodles around like a horse in the pool (very slowly) for an hour or so. But I started realizing that after he left the open showers on the pool deck always reeked. I finally caught him taking a whiz in the on-deck showers one day. He just aimed the spray down his showers and let it go... I think he got 'suspended' from the pool for a bit, but as far as I know, he's probably still there.
But the best was this little, tiny old man who showed up every day in a blue and red 70's track suit. He must have been in his late 80s at least and weighed about 90 lbs. He'd even show up on days like christmas eve or sundays when there was no open swimming b/c he had no idea what day it was. He always drove himself there (even in blizzards) in a big old 70s car, which is scary b/c he was soooo not coherent. He used to give us lifeguards silver dimes on occassion and tell us that they stopped making those during the War.
He started bringing a camera to the pool and tried to take photos of the old ladies in their swim suits. And he would hold his breath under water trying to look at them. The final straw came when he hadn't paid his locker rental fees and they cleaned his locker out and found a bunch of porn stashed there. The kicker... he always went by the nickname "Woody."
The other weird one that stands out was when I worked at the university pool in college. There was another frail, ancient little guy who used to come every day with his nautical-themed shorts pulled up to his nipples. Apparently, he was a highly respected former professor who'd been at the university forever and was always pretty much allowed to do whatever he wanted. He would come every day and ride one of those foam noodles around like a horse in the pool (very slowly) for an hour or so. But I started realizing that after he left the open showers on the pool deck always reeked. I finally caught him taking a whiz in the on-deck showers one day. He just aimed the spray down his showers and let it go... I think he got 'suspended' from the pool for a bit, but as far as I know, he's probably still there.