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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Brian in MA] [ In reply to ]
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Last weekend I was visiting my parents and I went to the university swimming pool with my sister. We were sharing the fast lane until a little bald man jumped in. My sister is not very fast so she moved down to the medium lane and I shared with this man. He refused to let me pass him. I would give him the toe tap to let him know I was there and pull around to pass and he would speed up, flip, then swim over me! This happened a few times. I finally got around him safely while he was doing breast stroke only to have him sprint by me on the way back complete with him hitting me under water!

I dont know if his problem was that a girl was passing him or what, but he was a very sad little man.

There is a really hot guy at my gym that I check out all the time. He's a super fast runner on the treadmill. He showed up at the pool last week and he has the ugliest stroke! I dont know who taught him to swim but its just awful. I was disappointed to see my hot running guy was such a bad swimmer. My coach was watching him too and he said to me "wow, that guy is clearly a land animal"
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [hasbeenswimmer] [ In reply to ]
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I too am glad this thread got revived. I've got 2 new ones. Theres The Wakemaster. This guys swims relatively fast, but has possibly the worst form I've ever seen. He always breathes to his left and when he does, his left arm comes way up and over on the recovery. His right always just slides across the surface of the water. When he gets to the end of the lane, he comes up, puts both hands on the deck and pushes himself off. As he flies back still on his back, he turns around just as his head is hitting the water. The wake is enough to push you over even if you're in another lane. Plus his ego always gets the best of him and he almost always has to swim in the fast lane, even if there are other lanes with fewer swimmers more suited to his "ability."
There's also Qi Gong in the Shower Guy. Many mornings I go into the shower and this guy is doing some sort of ancient exercise that involves bouncing and stretching from a squatted position. After I saw him do it the first time, I noticed management put up signs discouraging exercise in showers and sauna. he hasn't noticed.





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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Herniation Boy] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
similar issue. A guy with license plates FSTSWMR swims in my pool, he's a little faster than I am, but nowhere near deserving of these plates.
Perhaps he considers himself somewhat of a Don Juan, and "fast" doesn't refer to his swimming?



"Real winners aren't content with yesterday's victories"
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [SaraJean] [ In reply to ]
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Well I might be a strange denizen of the the pool but it's instigated! I aqua jog in the diving well when no one is around and every time, without fail, this weirdo dude shows up and underwater side strokes next to me whilst getting a view of my jogging movements. It pisses me off that this perv gets a free show so initially I glared at him or moved away from him but now I just give him the under water bird. Any other suggestions on how to thwart this loser would be appreciated.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Herniation Boy] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:

If it's any consolation, I have also heard that he used to be much faster a few years ago (when he got the plates, presumably) and has dropped to middling. So, query, when this happens do you trade in the plates to SWMHASBEEN or the like?

Well at least he needs to have forum handle like that.....:)

Seriously I would never have plates like that even back when I could motor along at a healthy pace. Just cruois what type of 100 pace you think he holds?

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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [hasbeenswimmer] [ In reply to ]
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no clue. I haven't timed my pool 100m in ages to gauge him off it. I usually do a 750m in a sprint distance in 11-13 min or so, so if my math is correct, 1:24-1:45 in open water, top 10-25% depending on the talent. He was about 2 yds faster thn me for the 40m length.

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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Brian in MA] [ In reply to ]
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I was getting a kick out of watching two old guys at the pool yesterday (I'm only 52 so I'm still young, right?). Anyway, everyone basically had their own lane until the swim team came in and took their six reserved lanes. This kind of pissed off one old guy who tried to keep swimming in a swim team lane even after the lifeguard yelled at him. He finally moved down next to me and got in with another old guy. Old Guy #2 was wearing fins, huge ass hand paddles (the size of dinner plates), and one of those goofy masks you see some triathletes wearing (I forget the name). Anyway, Old Guy #1 was pretty much swimming on the rope next to me, and Old Guy #2 was swimming between the line and the rope next to me. Whenever a collision seemed imminent, Old Guy #2 would swerve over and then right back into the same half of the lane Old Guy #1 was in.

Old Guy #1's wife was with him too. She had on Zoomers with cotton socks underneath. One other guy (I call him Cross-over Man due to his stroke) offers to let her in his lane. Just as she is about to get in at one end of the pool, a big fat lady jumps in uninvited and unannounced at the other end. As they say in the movie reviews, hilarity ensued (for me anyway.) Old Guy #1's wife finally got in and started walking back and forth across the pool--with flippers on.

As for me, a nice pretty, young female, decent enough swimmer, asked to share my lane ;^).
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [JDub] [ In reply to ]
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Classic!

I thought this thread had run its course, but it seems there is no end to the pool weirdness. I've seen Deep End Guy a couple more times...he's still doing the same thing...I still don't know what the hell he's doing down at the bottom of the pool.

I don't have any new species to report, though...

Spot

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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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No end to pool bathroom weirdness.

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Two women in Seminole County, Fla., are accused of performing sex acts in front of children at a community pool bathroom while a third woman photographed them, according to a police report.
Full report at 11:00 PM
http://www.local6.com/...13567201/detail.html


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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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At my pool's locker room there's "naked shaving humming man". If you are going to shave naked and hum in the locker room for everyone to hear shouldn't you AT LEAST be humming a real song? Well it seems that way to me, that's not asking too much.

This guy's humming I'm pretty sure is not an actual song, just some shit he's making up off the top of his head.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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At our outside pool (50m) here during summer, there are permanently 2 lanes for swimmers. One says fast and the other slow. Of course, in the slow lane, every lunch time, you have those two mammoth ladies in their sixties doing the head up breaststroke and chatting, taking the whole lane for themselves. They probably thought that the slow lane was for anybody going slow (and especially just for them only), not for lap swimmers that are slightly slower than others in the fast lane.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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Last night at the pool, I saw a guy grab a noodle then get into the pool. As I continued my workout, I didn't see him (in the lane next to me) holding it so I thought it was on the deck. When I pulled up for my rest, the noodle wasn't on the deck.... it was in his SHORTS!!! WTF!!! Funny and gross at the same time.


If my body isn't strong enough... I hope my wallet will be.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Do Du] [ In reply to ]
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Wow, that's incredibly disturbing. I love this thread, really makes me crack up while I'm sitting here bored at work ;)

We have pretty regular folks where I'm swimming now, but at the Y I swam at in Orlando had this one guy I liked to call 'Chopper' because of his wide arm swing - I was always in fear of getting one of my arms or possibly even my head chopped off when sharing a lane with him. He did open turns and NEVER stopped. He would literally swim 5K straight.

That Y also had an inordinate amount of old fat ladies that would sit naked on stools in the locker room.


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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [beatnic_tx] [ In reply to ]
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I think a whole new thread could be started on locker room weirdness. My YMCA is fairly normal, but there are a couple dudes that I just don't get. One guy is this little skinny dude, who can be seen standing stark nekkid, wearing nothing but this really ratty hat, rubbing moisturizer all over his body. Then on Wednesday, I see this new guy drying his ass with one of the hand dryers. No kidding. He turned the thing on, and then turned around and let it blow hot air on his ass. WTF? Why is it so hard to just be normal and use a fucking towel for those parts?

Spot

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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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omg-roflmao... this is hilarious! oh, and on Francois' recommendation, I moved to the University pool- all was nice, civil, clean UNTIL... summer school, camp, continuing eds??? where do these people come from? and yesterday, took the kids with and we jumped in the warmer pool (not the competition lanes) and we were swimming nicely along- I was motoring on some repeat 50's when all of a sudden, a big black blob appeared in the corner end of my lane... huh? I flip and leave, return, it's still there and now has taken to sinking down under water and, I kid you NOT, opening and closing "their thunderous thighs" in the ole abduction/adduction move- I decide to make my flip turns more "splashy"-swim a few more, faster and this does not deter ole TT- who then, starts dog paddling across- ACROSS my lane AS I'm coming right at her- there is no end to the absurdity so I decide to treat this pool as a mass start tri and just merrily swim along dodging whatever needs to be dodged. Once I left, she could be seen holding onto the edge and kicking out behind herself- fine, but WHY do these people get in the lanes designated for lap swimmers? why?
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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There's another group of men at the YMCA that are around mid 40s to late 50s. They conduct their daily bible study and prayer meeting in and around the whirlpool, naked of course.

I'll go to grave not understanding why they need that area instead of a local coffee shop or something. It's just beyond weird to me.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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It's 3:35 a.m. here on East Coast and I can't sleep. Have to wake up for long run at 5 anyway, so why not spend time on ST for a while.

Good thread. Here are my pool pet peeves from my local LA Fitness:

1. I don't understand those ladies at the pool who must walk up and down in a lane while sipping on their 800 calorie smoothie at the same time. What could they possibly hope to accomplish? I guess it is a purely social call for them since their calorie intake exceeds the 5 min of walking time. I just wish they wouldn't take up a lane just to talk. There is a Starbucks right outside the gym.

2. I also don't understand those folks who would rather sit on the side of the pool for an hour rather than share your lane with you. If I ever see somebody waiting for a lane, I always offer to share. Kinda pisses me off when they decline, especially if they sit there waiting. Makes me feel like I need to rush my workout so they can have their own lane.

3. Not that it effects me, but what about those basketball guys who play for an hour and are soaking wet, and then they come and plop themselves down in the hot tub by the pool without the decency of showering off before. What's up with that? I don't ever get in the hot tub myself, maybe that is why.

4. What about when the gym mgr comes in to show another prospect the pool and they are caked in perfume? Why does the pool heighten your nose's ability to pick up on horrible smells? Sometimes these ladies just kill me when they walk in for 30 seconds.

5. How about those pool guys who are always a little suspect when they are "cleaning" the pool at wired times? They always seem to lurk around just a little bit too long for my liking.

6. Not that I'm particularly fond of jammers, but what about the guy who comes in trying to swim, but his knee length baggie shorts are filling up like a parachute and he wonders why his splits are so slow. Dudes gonna get fast when he loses the shorts.

7. What about the older guy who thinks he needs to use the swim suit spinner in the locker room for 10 minutes or so to get his suit dry. Can't stand that sound for more than 5 seconds at a time. He might as well be doing his laundry up there and using it as his clothes dryer.

8. We also have naked guy doing the shaving, but last week I see two or three teen to early 20s guys sitting in the locker room lounge watching ESPN's coverage of the National Spelling Bee on the tube. First of all I have a hard time wondering why ESPN considers that to be a sport worth watching (I know it is a competition, but isn't there a re-run of the world's strongest man comp they could play again). But why are these guys interested in this. Don't they have jobs to get to?

that's enough for now

wait,

9. I have one of those Finnis SwimP3 players. When I put in ear plugs, swim cap, get my workout out, water bottle, and put on the swimP3, get the music volume adjusted, and just about to start my interval, that is when the guy/gal next to me wants to ask about the swimP3. Since I can't hear a thing I have to pull it off and still struggle to hear them with plugs in. Boy I hate that.

I must also confess that I do sound like somebody that an early post discussed. I am that guy with the swim bag that has everything in it. No, there aren't any old sandwiches or sunday newspapers hidden in there, but I have found old water bottles, half eaten energy bars, goggles that I thought were lost, and old jammers that need to be thrown out. I leave the kick board in the car trunk since I don't really use it, but the hand paddles, bouy, flippers, swimP3, etc. and about 2 dozen swim caps from old races are all in there.

http://jmassieblog.blogspot.com
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [ATL Dad] [ In reply to ]
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Is this the Valencia LA Fitness?
Last edited by: johnbrain: Jun 30, 07 10:53
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [johnbrain] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To
Good thread. Here are my pool pet peeves from my local LA Fitness:[/reply]Where?


"How bad can it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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Ahhhh, my local outdoor community pool opened up last weekend, it's great, I can generally get my own lane or split with someone (25m), its outdoors, near my house. My only peeve: the families that seem to think "Lap Lane" is synonymous with "Your Family's Private Play Lane" and proceed to park themselves at the end of the lap lanes, so their little kids can dog paddle half way down the lane and back and practice jumping into the pool. The only thing that annoys me more is that the lifeguards don't kick them out.

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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Tri Nic] [ In reply to ]
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What about that guy in the locker room who has his pants pulled up, but unbuttoned, is combing his hair, and his junk is hanging out?
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [stainofmind] [ In reply to ]
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ok how about this guy...

A total prick who's always swearing and being a complete jacka--. He's about 40 and fat, goes to the Y and swims about 200yds in the hour I'm there. He sits by the wall talking to the other fat people in the, double wide so slow this can't be called swimming, lane. He actually felt the need to stop me in the middle of my main set to give me some pointers. I replied WTF, don't ever talk to me again. He was comparing my stroke to some 30yr old triathlete swimming 1:50 per 100yds,when I am a college swimmer. And believe me the advise was bull...he just wanted to piss me off from a time I called him out on being an a-- in the locker room.

There was another time he was telling a story and mentioned "some chinese lady". A Korean man interrupted and said that she is Korean and this jerk replies, "they're all the same." The guy stormed off and rarely comes back.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [joonya] [ In reply to ]
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Here's another one...

I call them the 'flavor of the week'

They are the young guys or girls who usually just finished playing b-ball or working out (this is NOT the jump in the pool to cool off people, we have them too(let me jump in the pool with my sweaty a-- instead of take a shower)). They start out by looking through the windows after their workouts and wonder if they can swim laps like everyone else. They faithfully come in the pool for hours everyday trying to swim laps, trying to mimick flip turns, and nicely asking questions.

After 7 days they give up and are never seen again. Until another one comes.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [joonya] [ In reply to ]
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Great thread. I have a couple to add from the pool at my gym.

1. AngryDad. He brings his two kids (about 8 and 10 years old) to the pool religiously every day. They seem to be good swimmers for their age, but they clearly have no desire whatsoever to be in the water. AngryDad seems to be living vicariously through the kids. They do their workout, and he yells at them the whole time. "That was AWFUL!! What were you thinking? I WILL get in that pool with you and show you how it's done!!!" (So far, no one has ever actually seen AngryDad get in the pool.) Of course, each of the kids requires his own lane -- they can't share with each other, despite the fact that the pool only has 4 lanes for lap swimming. And God forbid that someone should ask to share a lane with one of them. Oh, and one more thing... AngryDad always wears weight lifting gloves to the pool -- WTF?

2. Fabio. He's one of the more entertaining characters at our pool. When the outdoor pool is open in the summer, Fabio shows up wearing a brightly colored speedo, and he arranges himself oh-so-carefully by the side of the pool. Every 5 or 10 minutes, he sits up to slather on a little more suntan oil, and then on-so-carefully rearranges himself on his beach towel. Of course, he never actually gets in the pool, because that might mess up his hair.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [IA_tri_girl] [ In reply to ]
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I feel sorry for those kids.

Spot

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