Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named
Chief of the Communist Party in China.

Hu's on First (We now take you to the Oval Office)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have a report here about the new leader in China
George: Great! Lay it on me!
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: What's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you! Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes
George: I mean the fella's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China!
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or won't you tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East?
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who's in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the leader of China. Get me the
Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You don't want Kofi?
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And get me
the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy in the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N.?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get
Chinese food in the Middle East?

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- Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'Rourke