Long time lurker. Love the forums, information, education and humour.
Straight up i'm bipolar(since 19, now 43), and an addict, BQer, multiple Im finisher.
I guess I'm posting because I'm needing an audience of my peers. I've hit an impasse. 1 years ago I was training to KQ. Then life slapped me in the face and I fell off my PoH wagon. After 21 years of sobriety and 15 years smoke-free i folded. Life has been fine since then, but I've lost all passion and desire. I'm not in prison, or an asylum but I can't get myself back to the joy I had training, racing, competing.
I've read similar threads on STwitch and I'm needing some validation for my struggles. Clara Hughes has worked hard to raise awareness here in Canada and I loved her biography. It's easy to explain the broken collarbone I got crashing on my bike but how do I explain the broken brain? The funny thing is I've raced a HIM with road rash all up my left side to ooohs and ahhhs, which seemed easy, but when my brain sells me out for a mickey or pack of smokes and I crush it, all i get is crickets. Waah!!
I worked hard to become a 2:58 marathoner and a 10:33 IMer after struggling with my ,mental illnesses. Not to mention a dbl dbl Keskinada x-country skiier. But I burned those bridges and wonder if I can get back.
Are there any other double losers out there, or am I just trying to make myself co-dependant on ST?
Thanks to any replies, even if I don't.
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Team Off Constantly
Straight up i'm bipolar(since 19, now 43), and an addict, BQer, multiple Im finisher.
I guess I'm posting because I'm needing an audience of my peers. I've hit an impasse. 1 years ago I was training to KQ. Then life slapped me in the face and I fell off my PoH wagon. After 21 years of sobriety and 15 years smoke-free i folded. Life has been fine since then, but I've lost all passion and desire. I'm not in prison, or an asylum but I can't get myself back to the joy I had training, racing, competing.
I've read similar threads on STwitch and I'm needing some validation for my struggles. Clara Hughes has worked hard to raise awareness here in Canada and I loved her biography. It's easy to explain the broken collarbone I got crashing on my bike but how do I explain the broken brain? The funny thing is I've raced a HIM with road rash all up my left side to ooohs and ahhhs, which seemed easy, but when my brain sells me out for a mickey or pack of smokes and I crush it, all i get is crickets. Waah!!
I worked hard to become a 2:58 marathoner and a 10:33 IMer after struggling with my ,mental illnesses. Not to mention a dbl dbl Keskinada x-country skiier. But I burned those bridges and wonder if I can get back.
Are there any other double losers out there, or am I just trying to make myself co-dependant on ST?
Thanks to any replies, even if I don't.
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Team Off Constantly