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How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat
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I'm sitting here on my lunch break watching people go in and out of my favorite athletic shop. I cannot believe how many overweight children I see coming and going. What's more disturbing is 90% of them are walking in with their parents who are middle-aged physically fit athletes. Now I know it's taboo to call anyone fat nowadays but holy crap if this is the future of what's to come we are in serious trouble.
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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Sorry should have posted that in the lavender room
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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A couple of problems. Parents aren't allowed to discipline their kids anymore. Kids are allowed to walk all over their parents these days. It's an epidemic I see with friends and strangers alike.
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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My 7 yr old kid isn't fat but she def isn't as lean as I am.

I used to wonder the same thing - now I have a couple ideas:

- Kid is in a stage where they refuse to eat anything but fatty/rich foods. I know, you're gonna say "be a TOUGH parent - if they won't eat healthy food, just don't let them eat until they get the message!" Yeah, I though that too until my girl started doing that at age 3. Turns out you don't feed her, she gets hungrier and hungrier, and for young kids, that means MADDER and MADDER, until she won't even eat ice cream in a total meltdown state. Yup, tried it multiple times, I lost every time - ended up with a screaming child for like 2+ hrs and an awful evening, plus the wife piles on and says "WTF?! What were you thinking - make her hungry is going to make her eat better?!?" Gotta admit, I now agree with her, and now my kid eats a lot more hot dogs that I ever would.....but she's gradually coming around as she gets older and hopefully our good adult food choices will trickle down to her. My daughter still refuses to eat anything green, despite my wife eating almost all green things.

- Parents diet and kids don't. My dad and mom were obese by age 40, and told me it was inevitable with my genetics. Sure enough, I gain weight fairly easily but I started restricting my caloric intake on a spreadsheet once it started creeping up. I now still fit into the same suit I did at age 21, thanks to exercise+diet, but after a marathon a few months ago I let myself go for 2 months and managed to gain 12 pounds in 12 weeks (!!) Fortunately I've lost it all since then, back on my reasonable diet.

- Parents are busy/lazy. Sad, but true. It's a lot easier to give the kid a prepackaged hot dog than it is to prepare a nutritious meal that your kid has a 80% chance of rejecting because they don't like the taste.

I'm sure a few parents with easier kids will chime in on how well they managed their kids diet, but I'll just say that every kid is different, and some are super easy and some are not. Mine is more on the fussy/difficult side, but now that I've had her classmates over for playdates,etc., for sure my girl is easier than most!
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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One thing that I have noticed is that the schools where I live, as well as where I grew up (and my mother still lives) do not allow kids to walk to school, they have to be dropped off and picked up by the parents. From 1st grade on, I always walked or rode my bike to school, but my niece and nephew (who are both in grade school) are not allowed to...

"I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10, and I don't know why!"
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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I dont get it either. Being brought up in a single parent house hold, money was always a bit of a problem. It was always easier and cheaper for my mum to cook a $13 roast and $3 worth of vegies to feed 4 people rather then get take away for $40. She also couldnt afford to buy sugary cereals, only weetbix and corn flakes. Youd never eat in excess because the food was simply never addictive, but it was still very very good (yes there is a difference).

A few of my mates were either training for state level surf club events or their parents were like mine and would make that kids eat a very similar diet to what i did. We were all skinny and developed well into teen agers. The other kids that got lunch orders most days or you would go to their house and eat shit (fatty, sugary, packaged) food, would often have a messy house and the kids have poor discipline - the parents were slack.

Parents these days only feed their kids packaged shit and its a wonder why diabetes, obesity and cancers are all on the rise. Not having time or your kid not being disciplined is never an excuse
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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Fishbum wrote:
I'm sitting here on my lunch break watching people go in and out of my favorite athletic shop. I cannot believe how many overweight children I see coming and going. What's more disturbing is 90% of them are walking in with their parents who are middle-aged physically fit athletes. Now I know it's taboo to call anyone fat nowadays but holy crap if this is the future of what's to come we are in serious trouble.

I'd speculate there are many reasons:
  1. More access to crap food than ever.
  2. Every...AND I MEAN EVERY...activity today includes a snack. My daughter has a 60-minute basketball game, of which she plays maybe 45 minutes. Some cardio in there but really just lots of jogging around the court. Still, some parent always has bags of Doritos and Gatorade to pass out afterward. So, she burned maybe 200 calories in the game and then drinks/eats 400 after the game.
  3. School birthdays...see #2.
  4. Parents are more aware of eating disorders so they are less inclined to limit, adjust, or address a young child's food intake for fear of it becomes a long-term issue.
  5. Yes, a lack of adult guidance/brains. Two examples: 1) I was coaching a youth soccer game and turned to sub only to see one of my less fit players crushing a BigMac. On the bench. During the game. WTF? 2) Without exaggeration, 80% of my daughter's summer swim team members are overweight by more than just "baby fat". See # 2 above because in the hour between swimming the 25 free and 25 fly, they are crushing pizza and cheese fries. In their defense, their coach is overweight and the swim team is selling this stuff at the meets to raise money for the team so...
  6. Two working parents with many kid activities is a recipe for disaster. Lots of on-the-go meals and we all know these aren't the healthiest. Problem is, mom and dad are not eating that stuff and they also went to the gym on their lunch break. Junior, however, spent the day in school with no notable gym class or recess, and/or played on a screen all day.
  7. This one has me a little conflicted, but today there are so many overweight kids, the skinny kids are the outliers. There is zero peer pressure. When I was younger, the kid with bitch-tits was made fun of.

I could probably list more reasons but I'm hungry and I'm gonna get a snack.
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [lightheir] [ In reply to ]
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My granddaughter is 7. She is a big kid. I noticed she was putting a few pounds on, poor eating, but did not say much. My Daughter noticed and has changed what she can eat and when. It was not about being her friend. Or what they "like" to eat. Is was just this is the way it is. Called parenting.

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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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Fishbum wrote:
I'm sitting here on my lunch break watching people go in and out of my favorite athletic shop. I cannot believe how many overweight children I see coming and going. What's more disturbing is 90% of them are walking in with their parents who are middle-aged physically fit athletes. Now I know it's taboo to call anyone fat nowadays but holy crap if this is the future of what's to come we are in serious trouble.

Apparently every safe space has a concession stand.

https://www.pbandjcoaching.com
https://www.thisbigroadtrip.com
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [h2ofun] [ In reply to ]
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h2ofun wrote:
My granddaughter is 7. She is a big kid. I noticed she was putting a few pounds on, poor eating, but did not say much. My Daughter noticed and has changed what she can eat and when. It was not about being her friend. Or what they "like" to eat. Is was just this is the way it is. Called parenting.


That reads as if your daughter is 'parenting' and Lightheir isn't. You may not of meant it in that way and if so I'd probably clear that up in more diplomatic language. Parenting is too complex to reduce to a few lines on a forum. Especially when you aren't offering anything other than - change what they eat and when. Being critical of a parent is way too personal, if you can't be diplomatic or supportive just don't go there. Lightheir - it is a minefield and you just get through it as best you can. Children are different, you obviously care and try and that is all any of us can do.
Last edited by: OddSlug: Aug 31, 17 16:20
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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Why buy a gallon of milk when you can get 2-2 liter bottles of soda for the same price?!

Strava
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [DJRed] [ In reply to ]
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DJRed wrote:
I'd speculate there are many reasons:
...



7. This one has me a little conflicted, but today there are so many overweight kids, the skinny kids are the outliers. There is zero peer pressure. When I was younger, the kid with bitch-tits was made fun of.


I could probably list more reasons but I'm hungry and I'm gonna get a snack.

Was his name Robby?
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [OneGoodLeg] [ In reply to ]
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OneGoodLeg wrote:
DJRed wrote:
I'd speculate there are many reasons:

...




7. This one has me a little conflicted, but today there are so many overweight kids, the skinny kids are the outliers. There is zero peer pressure. When I was younger, the kid with bitch-tits was made fun of.



I could probably list more reasons but I'm hungry and I'm gonna get a snack.


Was his name Robby?

Are you forgetting the first rule?
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [OddSlug] [ In reply to ]
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It can easily get worse as they get older, and eating becomes a control issue where you can't really force them to eat X and aren't around them at all hours to monitor what's going on when they are off doing their own activities.

My boy isn't a problem any more ~ I've seen it also w/ a lot of the other boys who were pretty soft and doughy up through about 11 or 12, and then they turn seemingly almost overnight into chiseled caloric infernos once their growth spurts coincided w/ upping the workouts as they got to the level of HS sports (helps to suddenly become a foot taller, too); w/ my 15-y.o. daughter, however, there are days she's fine, and other days when she's in a foul humor such that eating (or not) what/when she wants is clearly a thinly-veiled "Fuck you, Dad"... Good luck trying to avoid turning that into a bigger mess the harder you try. In that case, it's really not about the diet itself anymore; that's just a symptom.
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [OneGoodLeg] [ In reply to ]
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In graduate school, it was "Bitch Tits" Sullivan.
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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My kid was "husky" from around 3rd grade until his sophomore year of high school. We ate breakfast and dinner together daily 99% of the time, yet he was able to get crap at school and with friends and as a parent I couldn't control that. It isn't hard for a kid to get his paws on 1,000+ calories during the school day. Not to mention that grandma and grandpa and aunts and uncles didn't honor our healthy eating goal. Now he is in his 2nd year of college and in incredible shape - very fit and lean - and he eats healthier than us (greens, grains, lean protiens, etc.). It boggles my mind that we didn't have a trim kid, especially since my husband is a 5% body fat guy and I don't tend to be plump (unless I have to much fun with friends, which is the case these days now that the kid is grown).

Hillary Trout
San Luis Obispo, CA

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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [h2ofun] [ In reply to ]
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h2ofun wrote:
My granddaughter is 7. She is a big kid. I noticed she was putting a few pounds on, poor eating, but did not say much. My Daughter noticed and has changed what she can eat and when. It was not about being her friend. Or what they "like" to eat. Is was just this is the way it is. Called parenting.

Yeah, and I know parenting all too well. I'm not a weak parent in the slightest - I'll pull out all the stops short of beating the kid to death. I don't believe in talking it out with a 7 year old, and I also have a large dog, so I'm well aware of how tough you have to be to be the strong alpha that takes no BS.

If there's one thing I've learned about being a parent, is to count your blessings with the things your kid is good at, both behaviorwise, and talentwise. Good parenting has an impact, but good genetics has as much if not more of an impact, particularly in those early kid years. I've got several friends who adopted infant kids from troubled families and countries and raised them identically as their very own genetic children. Their genetic kids went to Harvard and Ivy league schools. At least half of the adopted kids were lucky to even stay out of jail, forget about making it through college. These were kids raised in the exact same fashion, same household, no preferences. Look it up (twin studies, adoption studies, etc.) - it's been well established that the balance of nature vs nurture in childrearing isn't at even close to be majority nuruture.

So any parent who claims they're 'superior' because they can control their kid and other don't do as well a job, are fooling themselves. It's entirely possible, and even likely that someone with a difficult kid might be forced to be an even better/stronger parent than you are, but it's just the kid that's so tough.
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [OneGoodLeg] [ In reply to ]
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This is what happened with me.. I was one of those overweight kids. I was active, played hockey and baseball and was always outside playing. But I also didn't know how to eat properly and my parents both worked long days and I just ate what I liked to. I hated being the fat kid though.
When I hit 13-14 I started growing. Grew a foot and lost all that weight and then started going to the gym and learning about proper nutrition (and girls..) and vowed never to be the fat guy again. And I haven't.

Team Every Man Jack
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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I'll take a crack at this. I'm almost 52. I have 21 year old that went through many of the phases covered in this thread.

My answer, whether it is adults or kids, it is not so much a matter of what you eat and how much you eat. If you move enough, be it adults or kids you will be lean. If you are moving enough, you just can't sit and eat. How much weight do you gain the day of a half Ironman or full IM....basically it's impossible to gain weight on a day like that.

Years ago, when kids did not do organized sport, they walked to school, or biked to school, played at recess, had gym class, did sports after school at school, and then when they finally got home, they would just get kicked out of the house to go play pick up sports at the park...baseball, soccer, football, hockey, skipping rope, tennis, hop scotch....whatever.

The parents who are "lean" they grew up doing the above. They were basically doing a half IM worth of exercise every day, all day outside of classrooms. While they were moving there was no access to food. You just kept playing. Most of my peers, that's how we grew up. It was basically impossible to gain weight. Almost every kid had a six pack or close.

Fast forward to my son's generation. Almost everyone gets dropped off to school or takes the bus. Recess is limited. Gym classes were optional. After school no one goes to play at the park. The only time kids move are in organized sports if their parents are rich enough to afford that. Almost zero kids ride their bikes to organized sports on their own because parents fear that some child molester will grab the kids (news flash.....same percent of weirdos in society today). We won't let kids out of our sights to play at the park so even if you drop off you kid at the park, it's empty. No kids...no one on the baseball diamond, no one on the monkey bars, no one on the tennis courts....it's all empty. WE ADULTS have screwed up our kids by creating in environment where they have MINIMAL MOTION.

One of my colleagues asked me how do I have energy to train 2 hours per day. I replied, I was doing 4+ hours of exercise every day from age 10 to 19...every day of the year. So I just kept doing it. No big deal. My parents just "trained me" to be in motion all the time every day, all year and they were not trying to make an athlete. They just did not want me in the house AT ALL other than in the evening to study, but then I would just blow off studying and go back to the park because I figured studying was a waste of time and I could get all the studying and homework done in class while the teachers were wasting time yapping and I could play MORE later.

But I was not the only weirdo moving all the time. Mostly everyone I knew was doing that routine to some degree. Maybe my peer group was just all athletes, but the park was packed with almost everyone from school...girls, boys everyone, doing different activities....or even just hanging out climbing trees and chatting under trees....but not EATING.

In my son's generation they have none of that. So only the ones who got serious about sport through organized sport. My son was soft as a pre schooler and in elementary school and got "harder" when he got into high school and started to XC ski competitively. But no matter how well you might eat at home as parents, the kids just don't have enough motion in day to day life to not get soft.

I don't think it is even possible in Western society with all the driving for kids to remain "hard" without at least 2 hours or so of activity per day. Could be walking, play, climbing monkey bars, one organized activity, family walk with the dog....whatever. I don't think 1 hour of formal activity and 23 hours of sitting around, eating, sleeping is enough for kids.

So to some it up....NO ONE MOVES ENOUGH!!!
Last edited by: devashish_paul: Aug 31, 17 18:14
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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We have two kids, 7 & 10, and the 10 year old is overweight. Not grossly, but def overweight. We are very worried about it, but there is only so much you can do. You have to realize that not every fat person you see (kid or adult) is scarfing down big macs and candy all day.

In our case, I come from a big family. I'm 5'10 175-180, and thats my weight while getting anywhere from 7-14 hours of fairly hard cardio exercise per week. I am by far the smallest in my family. My wife's brother's (3 of them) are all built like huge hockey players, and getting fat as they age. So there are some genetic issues at hand.

Our 10 year old actually eats quite healthy. Sure, he gets some junk once in a while, usually some ice cream. But he eats a lot of fruit, some veggies (likes mashed potatoes...), and then just misc stuff. He doesn't like pop.

He takes swim lessons 1-2 times per week, and taekwondo twice per week. He also paddles in a kayak next to our tri club during our open water swims, so 2km or so. Yet he is still 'fat'. If you (fishbum) were to see him, you'd probably assume we feed him pop and chips and never let him out of the house....
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [SBRcanuck] [ In reply to ]
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In some rare cases it is genetic. But it's not very often. Something has changed over the past 30 yrs in how we eat. Parents don't feed there kids real food. If it's in a wrapper it's not real food. If it comes from a fast food joint it isn't real food.
Please read the following.

1. Food matters. By Mark Bittman.
2. In defense of food. By Michael Pollan.

And to clarify a nother posters Bitch TITTs comments. Say what you want but body shaming work's. And they can also be called MOOBS.
Last edited by: Fishbum: Aug 31, 17 18:49
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [lightheir] [ In reply to ]
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lightheir wrote:
Good parenting has an impact, but good genetics has as much if not more of an impact, particularly in those early kid years.

Definitely this, in my n=1 experience.

I'm active (7-10 hours per week training, which is very active for general population, moderate for ST crowd), and my grade school son is as well. But when it comes to eating, he stops when he's full (even for treats like ice cream) and often needs to be reminded/encouraged to eat.

He doesn't get that from me (5'11, 180-185), but almost certainly from my wife, who was also rail thin when she was younger.

We encourage healthy eating, active lifestyle, all of that leading by example, but the genetics play a bigger part in this than we sometimes want to admit.
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Kula] [ In reply to ]
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I would love a DR to chime in. You are what you eat....... Claiming your child as fat because of genetics is a huge cop-out.
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [Fishbum] [ In reply to ]
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Fishbum wrote:
In some rare cases it is genetic. But it's not very often. Something has changed over the past 30 yrs in how we eat. Parents don't feed there kids real food. If it's in a wrapper it's not real food. If it comes from a fast food joint it isn't real food.
Please read the following.

1. Food matters. By Mark Bittman.
2. In defense of food. By Michael Pollan.

And to clarify a nother posters Bitch TITTs comments. Say what you want but body shaming work's. And they can also be called MOOBS.

They say don't say something when you are angry so rather than rip you apart, throw you on the tarmac and get the entire regiment's fleet of Hummers to drive over your carcass, before I start laying in, I am going first ask you a simple question. Then I will take some deep breaths before posting further on this thread.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
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Re: How do parents who are athletes let their children get so fat [ In reply to ]
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I'm 55. We have 3 boys, ages 14, 12 & 12. By modern American standards, as a parent, I'm a complete nutjob. But my father would say that I need to kick the kids in the ass, give them some independence, and quit treating them like snowflakes.

It's a challenge to get the kids off of the couch, but I spent most of my adult life in the military so I can do the hardass act. Of course, I'd like to stay married too tho.

I see an awful lot of fat kids. Is a damned shame. It's hard for me to understand most parents these days. They shelter their kids so much, refuse to give them independence, refuse to be hard on them, there's darn little tough love out there.

My in laws have a dog they dote upon. There is always food in it's bowl, and there's always treats all over the place. Dog gets powerful little exercise because the inlaws can barely get around themselves. Dog is terribly fat. I don't dare say a thing. My wife tried to delicately allude to the issue, and she got her head button off. Feeding the dog is an expression of their love for the beast. They are blind to it's obesity.

The rule in the house is exercise every day. Doesn't really matter what you do, as long as it's something. We have a room set up to lift weights tho, so usually the kids either run or lift weights, the latter being "code" for watch TV while doing just enough weight lifting to keep me at bay.

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