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Re: Balancing tri and family life [mvenneta] [ In reply to ]
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I got into triathlon in 1998, and in 2000 did my first IM. Less than a year later our first daughter was born. I managed to find the time to get in a marathon and a couple of short course tri's, but with a job that had me away from home a lot, and a growing young family time became a precious commodity and something had to give.

So for the last 18 years I stuck to a bit of cycling, running and other things I could squeeze in when the time allowed. No races, other than an ultra marathon 2 years ago. Running I found was the best bang for your buck on a time crunched schedule, and you can do it pretty much anywhere.

My two daughters are now 14 and 17, and are more or less self sufficient, with one able to drive herself around (thankfully, cause I felt like a cab service for the last 5 years) I now have more "me" time. So after discussing it with the family, we decided to do Ironman again this year. I say we, because it's a family effort. Everyone is pretty excited.

I am lucky in the fact that I do not work Mon-Fri 9-5. I get a lot of down days during the week when the kids are in school and my wife is at work, which allows for a lot of training time. Plus I get a lot of down time when on the road at work to train. (I'm a corporate jet pilot). But it also means I am away from home for periods up to 2 weeks.

Family, work, and training balance is hard and there is no one recipe for everyone. Each one of us has their unique set of challenges. Like it has already been said, having family support is a huge part of it. I know for a fact if I was trying to squeeze in a full tri race season when the kids were young would have been a disaster. Who needs that extra stress in your life. I'd come home from work and my wife would meet me at the door ready to hand off the two kids. If I told her I had to go bike for two hours, she would have stabbed me with the kitchen knife.

Those people that can live on 5 hours sleep a night, have a successful career, family life and qualify for Kona year in and year out are rare. They have incredible amounts of energy, drive, and talent. I've met a lot of people like those in my job. (most are successful businessmen/women, billionaires) they just go, go, go all day everyday. It's amazing to see. Like my boss, the multi-billionaire that owns the airplane.

Long and short of it is, you have to figure out what works best for your lifestyle and family. Good luck with it, and enjoy the kids while they are young, because they grow up awful damn fast.

https://trigeek1969.blogspot.ca
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Skipp80] [ In reply to ]
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"Kids don't listen to or remember much of what you say to them but they watch you like hawks and will copy everything you do, so being a good role model is really important"

Absolutely!!! Our oldest is 18 (next 2 are 16 and 14) - she has watched me do 20 Ironman races since she has been alive, volunteer at her school, do community service, and work hard. She is copying all of those!!! And, for a dream of a life time I ran her 1st marathon with her last weekend!!! Never had to ask her, tell her, or instruct her . . . it is part of her DNA from watching my wife and me. Quite frankly, she has become an off the charts young lady in many respects and I can very humbly say it is the greatest honor a parent can have.

For those of you with youngsters I would also encourage you that we raised our kids with no (NONE!!) video games, very little TV or videos, no phones til High School including no smart phones until teachers started tweeting assignments, and kept them out of the "drama" that so many families have. It is VERY hard but it pays off.

Best wishes,

David
* Ironman for Life! (Blog) * IM Everyday Hero Video * Daggett Shuler Law *
Disclaimer: I have personal and professional relationships with many athletes, vendors, and organizations in the triathlon world.
Last edited by: david: Mar 14, 18 5:14
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [mvenneta] [ In reply to ]
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I started triathlon when I already had four young kids so I haven't noticed a decline as we've moved from 4 to 7, but maybe that's because I've never been able to get near my potential! I've definitely noticed that I do better at shorter races and had a big drop off between my HIM time (4:44) and my IM time (12:49) which is mostly down to the fact that it's way easier to find 90-120 minute blocks for training than it is to find the 5,6 or 7 hour workout sessions that people on ST talk about. I think I managed three long rides for IM training and it just wasn't enough.

I'm training for IM again this year and have decided to borrow a strategy from ultrarunners - splitting log workouts so that i can fit them in. I did 2:40 on the bike after work yesterday and 1:30 this morning on the bike before work. I know it's not as good as one 4 hour bike, but it must have a training effect that comes close. So yeah, you don't have to choose between triathlon and family but if you want to be a good dad you do have to be prepared to compromise a little and accept that multiple 4-6 hour rides are just not going to fit in to family life very well.

Anyway, best of luck with the training and the family.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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I coach a lot of people with kids from very young to almost leaving for university, and some of them have 3 or 4 kids.

A few common threads that run through all their lives:

They have very few outside interests. It's basically family, work and triathlon. Occasionally they'll dust off the golf clubs or tennis rackets but when they do it's 95% of the time either a family vacation playing with the spouse or work related. Only occasionally will they go whack golf/tennis balls for fun. I'd say 85% of the time they go whacking for fun it's taper or recovery from a big race. Occasionally they'll go out with friends but more often than not a lot of their friends they meet on the roads to ride/run or they meet right after working out where the families are getting together a bit.

They are very schedule oriented and they try to not add/subtract/deviate too much from it. For instance Mondays are typically the same type of workouts, Tuesday the same types. This makes it easy for them bc they know they swim masters every M, T and not some Monday's and is it this or next week on Tuesday. Routines are awesome.

They take advantage of kids soccer matches/karate tourney's/swim meets/ by bringing running shoes/trainer and bike. They realize that 30 minutes of something is > zero minutes of nothing when it comes to overall fitness. Kids in the pool for meet warm up? Awesome, they can't talk to you and you can't talk to them. Off for a 30-45min run. Kids at a soccer match? pop the bike out point it towards the field on the trainer and now you've got a 90 min ride in. The other parents will think you're an weirdo, but you do triathlon so......

They tend to eat the same thing for bfast. They buy eggs or cereal by the dozens of dozens. When you only have to shop for cereal every 3mo bc you bought 45 boxes of the same cereal (notify the store ahead of time so they can have it in stock for you) or you bought 6 dozen eggs that reduces the amount of time you have to spend in the grocery store when you go. If they go offsite for lunch they tend to go to the same place and order more or less the same thing. After a bit the staff knows them and what they want. It's often ordered for them when they walk in bc they get asked "the usual?" Then get seated while their order is being placed.

They tend to use the timer function on the washer/dryer and dishwasher so those work when they are out working out or sleeping . They also tend to introduce their kids to the washing machine/dryer,vacuum and dishwasher earlier then my non athletic friends taught their kids to use those appliances. I don't have kids but if I did I'd put my minions to work at an early age. Some household responsibility never hurt any kid.

I think the #1 thing they do is communicate with their spouse/the rest of the household about what's happening AND get buy in from them.

If the spouse doesn't buy into you doing an IM then don't do a fucking IM. Only you care you want to do an IM, your spouse doesn't and if you have a coach your coach shouldn't want you to blow up your house, it's not worth the extra stress it's going to create in either relationship.

The last thing you want is your spouse saying "F*ck that I'm not spending another 4 months shuttling your 3 kids around so you can go play on your bike for 5.5 hours like you did last year."

Nothing wrong with racing sprints/oly's and/or half's if it means a happier & healthier household.

Another pro tip: If your spouse and kids don't want to travel somewhere or watch you do a race, don't take it personally & leave them at home. Spectating is hard/long & it tends to be boring. I've not seen a ton of kids that seem really excited to see Mommy or Daddy for 27 minutes of racing out of a 10+ hour day. I have seen a lot of kids and parents melting down while the spouse is out racing, even at 70.3s. If you're bringing your family, imo, you owe it to them to be fit & make smart decisions in the race so you don't melt down making their day stretch into night stretch into past the kids bedtime before you finish.

Anyway hope that helps a bit

Brian Stover USAT LII
Accelerate3 Coaching
Insta

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Re: Balancing tri and family life [desert dude] [ In reply to ]
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Can I just print this off and give to all my fellow coaches in the sport and athletes in the sport.....Desert Dude's gospel.

Brooks Doughtie, M.S.
Exercise Physiology
-USAT Level II
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [desert dude] [ In reply to ]
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There is so much truth in what you said - my biggest issue with triathlon is giving up that "everything else" - intellectual, cultural, and random endeavors. Anytime I really think about going into this sport "for real" I read these threads - and go back to my 2x Sprint / Oly tri per year routines.
Last edited by: Peterszew: Mar 14, 18 10:25
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Peterszew] [ In reply to ]
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You can still have some of those but you will give up some as well if you go whole hog.

You can bike or run to them then drive home with the family (or do that in reverse) if you're going to the park or something. Sure you may smell a bit but keeping some handy wipes in the car can fix a lot of that. Besides I hear helmet hair is the new "in" hair style.

If you're going to friends ring them a day or two before letting them know you're looking forward to seeing them then ask if it's ok to shower there bc if possible you want to ride your bike there. 99/100 times they will be fine with it. Then DO NOT be that triathlete that talks about how they rode 75k to get there. No one wants that person at their get together. NO ONE. Do not even mention it to anyone.

If training for an IM do the occasional local sprint tri instead of a long weekend training day. Sure you may have to get up a bit earlier to get to the race but you get home earlier and you've got the entire day to hang out with your kid(s) blowing them up & taunting them on xbox.

Plus a sprint tri is like a high speed low TSS training day which probably will do more for boosting your fitness than another 4.5h zone 2 ride.

And trash talking while backing it up on xbox, does it really get any better?

Brian Stover USAT LII
Accelerate3 Coaching
Insta

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Re: Balancing tri and family life [desert dude] [ In reply to ]
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I hear you - I think my point is just having that "mindset" of constant integration, while its very much exhilarating / efficient (I'm into it) - it sacrifices your mind-space for other things...be it professional, intellectual, cultural, family, etc.
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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I haven't read all the responses so apologies if this has been mentioned. One thing that helps me is being prepared and flexible. I bring running gear with me almost every day and I'm generally prepared to run either on a treadmill or outside. I joined the gym closest to my office and if the weather sucks or I want to get a little strength in along with my run, I'll shoot over there at some point during the day. We have a shower in my office so if the weather is nice I'll change, go for a run, and shower here afterwards (I realize not everyone has that luxury). There are also trails close to my office so if I'm feeling beat up or need a change of pace I'll go off-road. By the nature of my job I deal with a lot of property managers at multi-tenant office buildings, and I've asked a few of them for access cards to their fitness centers which gives me a couple more options to run/workout/shower during the day. I know these won't all apply to you but the point is to be creative and flexible and take advantage of every opportunity you can find.

I picked up a cheap second-hand treadmill so worst-case I can run in the basement after the kiddo goes to bed. Same with biking - as others have mentioned, this is easy to do later at night on the trainer.

On the off chance that I do any swim training it is almost always early in the morning before my wife and daughter wake up. My local masters group swims at 5:30am and if I have to cut it a little short to get back home and help with the morning routine then so be it.

In the summer when the sun is up early I often ride with a local buddy before work. It's not uncommon for us to meet at 5:30am and ride for an hour or so.

On the weekends my wife is generally cool with me getting out for longer runs or rides as long as we don't already have family stuff planned. Sometimes this involves me bartering or letting her sleep in while I get up with the little one, then heading out whenever she gets up. Again it requires some flexibility.

Although I like running and riding outdoors so much better than the TM/trainer, squeezing all this stuff in around family and work commitments requires a certain degree of ambivalence in that regard. For me that means I also need solid entertainment options to make the TM and trainer more bearable, so I have live TV, Netflix, Amazon, Hulu and Youtube available in my pain cave.

I got nothing on nutrition - I make it up as I go!
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Re: Balancing tri and family life [Jloewe] [ In reply to ]
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Make sure you discuss with the GF what you need and how you can support her needs as well. Go for win-win.

You can make all the plans on your own you want, but if she's not buying in, it won't happen without some pain.

Ryan
http://www.SetThePaceTriathlon.com
http://www.TriathlonTrainingDaddy.com
I got plans - https://www.trainingpeaks.com/...dotcom#trainingplans
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