Is it fitting that the first person that replies is someone who actually knows you? ;-)

It seems by your description that the feelings are mutual. In that case, go with your heart. If you really feel it and want to say it, or scream it to the world, then do it.

I am very happy for you, by the way!!!

Jodi

After only a month, you know very little. Good advice from an internet stranger is to take your time, listen longer, and learn. Do not act on initial, irrational, illogical feelings.

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DFL > DNF > DNS

Thanks for writing Jodi! I do feel like screaming it to the world, BUT I am scared that I might scare her off if my feelings are stronger. Her actions speak loudly to me; she has been so kind that it almost feels weird to me; however she is less vocal than I am...

I'm glad somebody knows you, based on the way this post was written (sounded like a 13 year old girl making a joke) I didn't take it seriously.

What your feeling is super hyped up brain chemicals. Dopamine, serotonin, etc. Enjoy it while it lasts.

I'm not one to tell you that you are or aren't in love, but honestly- as this point- why does it matter? Just keep dating, and doing your thing, and learning about each other. Save the "i love yous" for a little bit. There's plenty of time. Also, start meeting her friends and her meeting yours- third parties are always good in keeping your head straight.

Chill.

This is going to maybe sound shitty but here it goes: You have kids. I don't think barreling into a relationship that you clearly have not logical grasp on is healthy for anyone. Of all people, someone with young kids needs to think through who they are going to bring into their lives because the kids are impacted as well. If they see dad running around saying OMG OMG OMG I am so in love!!! it might be hard for them to take. Once you get your head on straight and are able to do a real inventory of this person and whether they really do align with what is important to you then you can throw yourself into it. Being hysterical effects more than just you.

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce

You can say things other than "I love you". Tell her how special she makes you feel. Tell her you love being around her. Tell her she looks beautiful. But, I would wait a bit on the "I love you". It feels a bit rushed to me.

How awesome for you, the exciting days of a new relationship. Keep enjoying yourself, no need to rush, actions speak louder than words anyway :)

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__________________________________________________
Twitter: @jayasports
Web: http://www.jayasports.com

FWIW, my husband of 20 years (more or less, who's counting :)) totally turned me down when I said I wanted to be "more than friends" many many years ago. I had a feeling about him though, and just felt we'd always be together so I said, "ok. no problem" and backed totally off. Give it time but don't back off. Keep doing the dating and talking and eventually your message won't need to be said out loud. Enjoy!

OOPS! just saw you have young kids. I would BACK WAY DOWN. Take it really slow. Your kids have to come first. Get to know your lady much better and longer and, well, really, my assvice above still stands. :)

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http://harvestmoon6.blogspot.com
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/katasmit

Well, my husband proposed to his late wife after one week of dating and they married within a month. They were married 21 years until she passed.
He told me on our first date he didn't plan on being on the market for long, which caught me by surprise beause most "guys" don't seem to want to settle. He took his time with me though and proposed after 5 months. He had two children already, and now we have a little boy running around and a little girl on the way. Don't scare her off, but it's okay to let her know you're not playing around. Much happiness to you both!

Dawn, I have done all of the above since the beginning of June when I met her. I knew almost immediately that I met a very special woman. I renamed her "lovely" and tell her she is beautiful inside and out. I am definitely mushy and wear my heart on my sleeve.

  
FWIW, my husband of 20 years (more or less, who's counting :)) totally turned me down when I said I wanted to be "more than friends" many many years ago. I had a feeling about him though, and just felt we'd always be together so I said, "ok. no problem" and backed totally off. Give it time but don't back off. Keep doing the dating and talking and eventually your message won't need to be said out loud. Enjoy!

OOPS! just saw you have young kids. I would BACK WAY DOWN. Take it really slow. Your kids have to come first. Get to know your lady much better and longer and, well, really, my assvice above still stands. :)[/quote]


I do have twin girls and put them first ahead of everything. I turned down a 100K+ dream job earlier this year because it would have meant too much travel and not enough time with my kids. I have had two relationships over the last two years and did not introduce my kids to the women and in my mind I have a 6-8 month target for when I think it might be ok to introduce the concept of a girlfriend...thus far we have not had any talk of this (between me and my girls). I know that the lovely one I am seeing now wants to be part of a family; she has expressed that from the start.



Now back to your point, how did you "back off" ? I am having a hard time partially because she works for United and flies overseas on and off so her schedule is a little tough, and with the international travel it is hard to communicate when she is away, in contrast to our fantastic talks in person or on the phone when she is home. I definitely want to see her more and her job alone is a challenge to us spending a lot of time together.

Z man you are obviously not training hard enough and have too much time on your hands - get back on the trails dude.... :-)

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Graham Wilson
USAT Level III Elite Coach
http://www.thewilsongroup.biz

I can't help you bro, but I'd just like to point out that you've neatly solved the travelling to a race with your bike problem...

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<If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough>
Get Fitter!
Proud member of the Smartasscrew, MONSTER CLUB
Get your FIX today?

Not true my man! I did a 30 mile mountain bike ride last weekend which was a monster workout for me!

I am still recovering from ACl surgery and PF hasn't gone away so the workouts are happening but only for Xterra training now.

I didn't have that problem Khai, but now I have an answer in case the problem arises.

Well, every minute spent with my lovely has been time I will not regret. What I feel for her is definitely love and admiration and I think that she is worthy of both. It is exciting and slightly unnerving to have such strong feelings after about six weeks, but I wish I could share this feeling with others; and why try to deny it if it is real?

OK, I will speak for the "other side" here...

P and I had been working together (not in-your-face style, "across the building" more like) for a few years. My marriage was poopy, as was his. The timing for us was quick - within maybe 3 months of expressing affection we had each ended our respective marriages to be with each other. Yes it sucked. Yes our kids, exes and us have some stuff to deal with because of that decision.

But I tell you this now and in all honesty: I knew, after that first night when we said "Hello!" to each other (i.e.: first kiss), that was it - this was the one for me.

He and I tried to kid ourselves for another 2 months. We tried - I did counselling with my ex (had been for a while), we even (stupid in retrospect) tried to do social things with the spouses - yes all 4 of us - and all attempts to avoid the OBVIOUS TRUTH failed.

So after ~60 days of P and I kidding ourselves, we broke it to our (then) spouses and moved on.

Happiest/Best decision. EVER.
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I believe we have three "compass points" - the head - the heart - and - the gut.

My heart and my gut said "I need and want to be with P" - my head said "wait a minute, that's hard, it's not right, you made a commitment, etc...."

Sometimes, you really do need to ignore your head and listen to your heart and your gut.

Now: take some time for yourself, away from all other factors, take a day off work even, go for a run/ride, walk, go think. Think about your head; think about your heart; think about your gut.

Only you will know what is right for you. But, for me, once I knew in my gut and my heart what was right for me, nothing could have changed my mind.

P and I are going on 7 amazing years, and every day I am thankful that he and I found each other.

Good luck.

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS

I wish I could share this feeling with others

Better check with your girlfriend first. She might not like that. :)

Thanks AndyPants! That is a tough but good story to hear and I am glad you found each other!

My love is flying off for two weeks on Monday and I have decided to tell her (in words) exactly how I feel before she leaves...it will be a fantastic weekend split between my kids and my "big" girl :)

Married to an airline pilot, who does straight INTL schedule to Asia and Europe. In a word, Skype. Its all you need to communicate, well, that and a time zone calculator.

Well......?

I'll grill him for the details this weekend. He is being brave enough to visit my city which means he is forced to meet me. Muhhaaaa.....never visit Seattle.....

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce

This will be you after our meeting Jen....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34ag4nkSh7Q

SkiRacerz--When do we get an update on the response from your soulmate to your confession of love for her?