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Converting fiance into a triathlete
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I wasn't sure how to title this post, but here's the question:

I've met the woman of my dreams (oh yeah, I'm a guy) and am going to ask her to spend the rest of my life with me. She is a recreational runner (1/2 mary's, 10k's, run's to stay active, etc) and was so inspired by watching me at IM CDA this year that she started swimming this past summer. While I don't expect her to match my passion in everything I do, I would absolutely love it if she got bit by the tri bug. As you can see she is making steps towards this, and while I want to and am encouraging her, I also don't want to make her feel like she has to get into tri's because I am into them. Any ladies out there have any advice how I can be supportive, but not over bearing (I can be a little intense when it comes to this sort of thing)? Have any of you ladies out there been turned onto triathlon because of a man in your life?
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [bigeyedfish81] [ In reply to ]
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Another guy here. I would ask to help you out by taking a leg of a relay. hopefully that gets her hooked, if not, at least you have a swim run partner.



"your horse is too high" - tigerchik
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [bigeyedfish81] [ In reply to ]
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It is a tough one... I luckily met my husband at a tri so we didn't have to do this one. However, I was getting burned out on it (having had a bad coaching experience) and wasn't planning to do many more tris after we had met. But we started doing some runs and bikes together, not taking about any particular upcoming event or race, but just focusing on how fun it was, and I got back into it.

Perhaps invite her to join you on a ride to see how she likes it? Or sign up for a short sprint in the area and ask if she'd like to do it as well? You could even do it beside her if that made her more comfortable, or just each have your own days out there.

Perhaps even just say to her the things you said here... how much you love seeing her enjoying the running and swimming, and think it would be fun to both do a tri sometime. That you don't care if they are for her or not, but that you think she might really enjoy it. Then if she does, great. And if not, you can let it go (at least until the next time she is expressing interest ;).

I like the relay idea Hid has, too.

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Miles of Life --- Powered by MarkyV
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [bigeyedfish81] [ In reply to ]
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The relay thing wpuld help her feel involved in what you are doing and may help her "get the bug". My friend's wife is now doing her first tri's next year after doing a few relays. I wouldn't worry too much if she becomes a triathlete though. Just let her do her thing.
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [bigeyedfish81] [ In reply to ]
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Support her 100% in the sports and workouts that she wants to do. Don't push her to do anything else. She's a big girl. If she wants to start cycling, she knows how to do it. If she wants your help, she knows how to ask. Suggest every now and then (*not* every 2 days) that it would be fun to do a tri together. If she takes the bait, great. If not, she's still involved in similar sports and you can find active things to do together. That's a great thing for your relationship. Her actually doing tris is just icing.
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [bigeyedfish81] [ In reply to ]
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Pick a local area sprint and do it together. That's what my wife and I did the first time. Don't over push her on the training thing. Let her do her own thing and most importantly approach it strictly as fun. Alternatively you could do it together as part of a relay as suggested.
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [bigeyedfish81] [ In reply to ]
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Pre-Marriage:
I was a runner first and swam for fun
Married:
Tri hubby said, "Hey, you want to try a triathlon (you swim, and run, and I know you could be a strong cyclist)"

always up for a challenge, I said "sure" and the rest was history.

Seven amazing years of training and racing "t.o.g.e.t.h.e.r" pre-kid. We did most of our workouts together, and during the National Age Group Championships (with separate heats and start times) finished our races at exactly the same time (down to the second)....what can I say, we were meant for each other.

I say: invite her to do a race with you sometime and let the cards fall where they may. You'll have the best of both worlds either way:
  • a partner in triathlon - doing the sport with you

    or
  • a partner in triathlon - as your personal cheerleader


____________________________
Life is Short...Run Long
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [leslieW] [ In reply to ]
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Thanks for all your responses. The tri thing really would just be icing on the cake for me...I already have it good with having a run and swim partner (and climbing, camping, etc partner). Like leslieW said I'll have the best of both worlds either way (she's already proven she is a great cheerleader). We'll see how the winter goes and let the cards fall where they may...
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [bigeyedfish81] [ In reply to ]
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Well, it's great having common interests but in a relationship I think that it is important to have your own identity. She will fall into tris if she is interested. But for now, she can support your races and you can support hers

leslie myers
http://www.foodsensenow.com
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [bigeyedfish81] [ In reply to ]
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My wife things we, and me particularly, are nuts. That does not prevent us to be happilly maried.
However while testing the water with Ultraman, Marathon des Sables. etc... I realize that will require years of diplomacy :)

Fred.
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [fred_h] [ In reply to ]
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My wife thinks we, and me particularly, are nuts. That does not prevent us to be happilly maried.

Hah! Fred, that sounds like my wife and I exactly. Actually my wife did a six race series a few years ago and used it as a vehicle to lose a lot of weight after our second child. When she stop losing weight (training was not consistent and loves to eat) then she lost the motivation and quit.
We are still married and she is much happier with the goal of working on a nursing degree than she ever was with running.

As for the original question; be happy she is active. I would not suggest she try a triathlon. That desire needs to come totally from her when she is inspired watching all the other women compete at one of your races.

Chad
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [cdw] [ In reply to ]
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I know that personally if I think something looks like it could be fun, but I have a friend who does it competitively or just has been at it longer than I have, sometimes I am too shy/nervous/embarrassed/something to ask them about if I could do it. However, if they ever invited me to try it, I'd jump at the chance. It never hurts to ask once :)

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Miles of Life --- Powered by MarkyV
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Re: Converting fiance into a triathlete [bigeyedfish81] [ In reply to ]
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My boyfriend introduced me to triathlon. To this day I am not sure if it was him or the triathlon lifestyle that changed my life, but I am grateful for both. Let her go at her own pace, be there, but don't crowd, offer lot's of advice, but few orders. Tell her how proud you are of her, even for little steps. Believe in her. Tell her she is beautiful even when she is sweaty and never, never, ever notice when her breasts start to disappear.

"It's not just a daydream if you decide to make it your life"
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