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First date... (so, brunch happened)
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Dear LR,

This coming weekend, I find myself going to a nice cafe for brunch as a first date. Problem is, it's my first first date in over 10 years.

Any advice? What to do? And what not to do?
Last edited by: beekay: Mar 19, 17 14:39
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Make sure you kiss with plenty of tongue!
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Make sure you discuss politics, religion, guns, and abortion.
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Be on time. Offer to pay. Be normal. Turn off your phone. Wear something you feel comfortable in. Don't try too hard. Listen and ask questions. Be engaging, funny, smart, enigmatic... (Don't talk politics)

Report back here!
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Stay away from the garlic salad.

Bring a single flower.

If it is a nice neighborhood, Plan a walk after the cafe.

Good luck.
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Re: First date [Kay Serrar] [ In reply to ]
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Kay Serrar wrote:
Be on time. Offer to pay. Be normal. Turn off your phone. Wear something you feel comfortable in. Don't try too hard. Listen and ask questions. Be engaging, funny, smart, enigmatic... (Don't talk politics)

Report back here!

Good advice, I'd add approach it as friends first.

I found myself in a similar position after a decade and a half, after my first date I just looked at dates as practice, it took the pressure off.

************************

#WeAreTheForge

"Look, will you guys at leats accept that you are a bunch of dumb asses and just trust me on this one? Please?" BarryP 7/30/2012
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Wear something like this

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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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i've heard tinder, or grinder, are great places to meet folks also.

good luck this weekend.
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Brush your teeth. Be on time. Be yourself, but remember to smile every once in a while if you're not really the smiling type. Don't worry about it too much; chances are it won't go anywhere long term but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it.
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Re: First date [North] [ In reply to ]
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Good advice on politics, guns, religions, and sexy t-shirt! I also plan on staring at other girls while picking my nose.

Davec, interesting tip on the single flower, it wouldn't be too much, would it? Also, it is in a nice neighbourhood, and if the weather cooperates I was planning for a short walk.
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Re: First date [CruseVegas] [ In reply to ]
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CruseVegas wrote:


Good advice, I'd add approach it as friends first.

No
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I just looked at dates as practice, it took the pressure off.

Yes
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Be yourself. If you're a dickhead, though, pretend to be nice.

You're meeting someone who you may or may not click with, may or may not enjoy being around. Don't build it (or him/her) up to be more than it is, and try to just enjoy it and be normal.
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Be Early

Have topics to discuss in mind just in case

Pay

Relax

Have a defined first round and an undefined second round if it is going well (for example meet for a drink, if you like her, ask her spur of the moment if she wants to go to dinner and surprise you know a cute Italian place two blocks away)

Don't overthink it

Have cash

If you look at your cellphone you deserve to die alone

Be yourself because if she doesn't like you better to find out earlier than later

Know what you are going to consume before you go in (I'd suggest not coffee since coffee gives you coffee breath, iced tea (spearmint if they have it).

If you speak of your ex you deserve to die alone

Listen. Think of it as an intelligence gathering exercise

Speak but less than you list, think of it as an information exchange exercise

Dress for success i.e. not a tee shirt

Be prepared for it to be a waste of time and money

Be prepared for it to be successful

Have fun
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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windywave has good avice for once! :)

if you have an inoffensive funny story or two, try working them into the conversation. laughing helps people relax and feel comfortable together.

don't be a dick to servers! be nice to other people you interact with on the date. seeing how someone interacts with others is a good early indicator of the type of person they are.



DO NOT TRY TOO HARD. that comes across as fake.

good luck




who's smarter than you're? i'm!
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Wear clean clothes. No tee shirts and no stains on it.

Do not wear a hat.

Take a shower before you go.

Do not wear a heavy perfume.

The flower is a sweet suggestion, but I would leave it out.

Let them get a few words in. Don't blabber the whole time, at least pretend to be interested.

Don't lie or over exaggerate your life.

Don't talk about earnings, politics, religion, sex, old partners.

Be prepared to pay for at least yourself. Bring cash in a few different denominations so you can get the right amount out.


It would be helpful to know if your a guy or girl...
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Masturbate before you go out.

It's only smellz.

- Rocco Siffredi
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Re: First date [Duffy] [ In reply to ]
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Duffy wrote:
Masturbate before you go out.

while youre out is fun too




who's smarter than you're? i'm!
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Re: First date [veganerd] [ In reply to ]
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veganerd wrote:
Duffy wrote:
Masturbate before you go out.

while youre out is fun too

Under the table...

It's only smellz.

- Rocco Siffredi
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Re: First date [veganerd] [ In reply to ]
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Good advice on not trying too hard. I do want to be myself, as windywave mentioned, if she doesn't like me, better to find out earlier instead of wasting everyone's time.

But is that the challenge? - To impress and to make it a positive experience, but don't be fake.

Nova - I am a guy, date is a gal.

Duffy - Good one, seeing that I have to take a shower before the date, it can be easily worked in.
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Spend more time asking questions about her than talking about yourself. You want her to leave the date thinking that you were more interested in her than yourself.
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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beekay wrote:
.

But is that the challenge? - To impress and to make it a positive experience, but don't be fake.
.
Stop overthinking it
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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beekay wrote:
Good advice on not trying too hard. I do want to be myself, as windywave mentioned, if she doesn't like me, better to find out earlier instead of wasting everyone's time.

But is that the challenge? - To impress and to make it a positive experience, but don't be fake.

Nova - I am a guy, date is a gal.

Duffy - Good one, seeing that I have to take a shower before the date, it can be easily worked in.
Yes, be yourself and honest. People (especially men) have a tendency to lie about shit not worth coming out of ones ass. Keep the cell phone in your back pocket unless you are in your 20s and start texting your date. T-shirts and jeans are fine as long as they are CLEAN, stain-free and pressed. Wrinkled clothing is a deal breaker. Brush the breath and grill. Do not talk about past relationships other than being divorced and ready to find a new one. If you have kids, do not talk about them as if they are the only ones in the world. Kids are not the reason why you want to date. Expect nothing and have fun, even if you feel your time is wasted.


_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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beekay wrote:
Good advice on not trying too hard. I do want to be myself, as windywave mentioned, if she doesn't like me, better to find out earlier instead of wasting everyone's time.

But is that the challenge? - To impress and to make it a positive experience, but don't be fake.

Nova - I am a guy, date is a gal.

Duffy - Good one, seeing that I have to take a shower before the date, it can be easily worked in.

Just be yourself. I've been on way to many dates where the guy tries so hard to impress me that I just can't deal with it.

I have, on occasion , left to go to the bathroom and not gone back. I pay the waitress my portion of the bill and boogey out the back. I alwyas get there early and scope out the bathrooms and how to get out depending on where we sit.

I'll assume you are in a state where shorts are not appropriate, but don't wear shorts even if you're in a state where you can. It's tacky.

Be ready to never see her again. If it's right, you'll know in the first 5 minutes. Same if it's not.

Pay. Unless you have previously discussed going dutch. (I have done that too.)

Have fun and good luck.
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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You're not trying to impress her. You're trying to be yourself, and hopefully, she likes that, and you like who she is, and things move forward from there. If not, no harm no foul, try again next time.

Just be respectful, anything after the first date is a nice bonus. You're just going out for a casual, relaxing brunch for the opportunity to potentially meet and get to know a nice person. Don't think it through much further then that.
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Re: First date [beekay] [ In reply to ]
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Let's see a pic of her. We'll be able to give personalized advice with that.
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