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Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question
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I have a 31/2 yo female bullmastiff that is fabulous in 90% of everything she does except yanking my ass around when we walk only when she sees a squirrel. It can be traumatic for me(I am old) as she is a tank on legs.
Things I have done-training classes as a puppy and young adult, treats for good behavior(still do that), went from front harness to a prong collar(yes, I know to keep it high on the neck and a short leash), and I have even tried a shock collar most recently. This breed is very stubborn and territorial-we have had 3 others in the past so we know what we have. I just have such a time stopping this behavior-I catch it early and treat her when she ignores or at least doesn't dart after the prey. If I raise my voice-makes it worse. I am calm, but firm. She was gotten away from me before and that is a worry.
Any suggestions???

My 25 year wedding anniversary is Tuesday. My hubby is in no way romantic, never has been. I get that. I would love for him to do something special without me having to suggest it. He is a bit of a passenger in our marriage which is OK but this is a big deal to me as no one in my family, parents included, has made it this long. He is great going along with what I suggest but dammit, Jim....I want to be appreciated without asking!!! We have had a tough 3 years with his health issues and, frankly, I did not think we would get here. I have brought it up, but it makes me a bit sad that he isn't thinking along those same lines of how special it is. Maybe it isn't to him. Maybe it is just another day with the ole ball and chain.....
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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Only thought on the dog is: live with it or get a new dog. I have a basenji-pit mix, 7 y.o. that we've had for four years and no matter what we've done he has that stubborn chase mentality, it's in his breed and will always be there. Either learn to live with it, adjust any way possible (fewer walks, and find a way for the dog to get her exercise without the walks?), or get rid of her. Do you enjoy the walks, or is it just to get her exercise/relieve herself? If not, maybe hire a dog walker who can handle her weight.

On the husband: live with it or get a new husband :) Sorry.

My only thought is, like the dog, he is who he is, after 25 years of marriage I'm sure you know that as well as anyone. Have the two of you ever had (or talked about) marriage counseling? It's less and less a stigmatic thing these days, lots of couples are even doing it early in marriage to prevent any issues creeping in. Sometimes talking things through with a professional mediator/therapist can be a good thing. I'm recently married and the pastor from my wife's church had us sit with him for pre-marriage counseling, he used typical marriage counseling materials to see where trouble spots might be and get us talking about them. It was really good and I think we learned a lot from it, and we're planning on making it a semi-regular thing to make sure we're both getting things in the open and not repressing any hard feelings.
Last edited by: Brownie28: May 12, 17 9:55
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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I'll skip the dog and go to the spouse.

My wife is similar and we have been together 30 years. I chose her because she is silly smart and logical. If I made her more romantic I'd probably lose what I liked about her in the first place.

Your husband is not going to change and you probably don't want him to. But if this is important then tell him that he needs to come up with somehtjng. No secret tests. If you don't think he will pull it off, then plan it together.

My wife has completely forgot my birthday twice. It is the second of the month and she loses track. So I make sure to make comments about it a week or so in advance. Why set her up to fail?

Don't expect someone to change after years of established behavior. It goes back to the story about how you can't get mad at a snake for biting you. It is what snakes do.

We are so fucked.
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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When dogs enter the hunt, there is an endorphin reward that keeps them going. You have to break that addiction, which takes a lot of time. Keep at it.

On the husband: Anniversaries are a celebrations of the couple. It sounds like you want him to treat it like your birthday, which is about you. If you want to do something on your anniversary, do it as a couple through planning and implementation. It seems like you have to initiate, which makes sense since this is your desire. There's a very high probability that he already appreciates you and understands how special things are without having to do anything normal. I don't have to do anything spectacular to appreciate the Wife, although I'm sure she likely wants the special stuff more often. That doesn't reflect on the amount of appreciation I have for her though.






Take a short break from ST and read my blog:
http://tri-banter.blogspot.com/
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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If your husband has any special kinks, oblige him.
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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Have you tried a Gentle Leader or similar harness? It worked wonders on a stubborn dog I used to have.


It might work on hubby, too.
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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I'll stay out of the dog part. My golden retriever is the best dog in the entire world and always does exactly what I want her to. :)

On the anniversary. I understand your issue. My wife really likes special events, but she never plans them. She expects to do something for our anniversary but she won't plan it. If she is forced to plan it she will just come up with a bunch of stuff then expect me to figure it out and make a decision. It can be a bit aggravating. I could just skip the special stuff as it isn't as big a deal to me, but I know she wouldn't like that.

My best advice is to just be straight forward with your husband. If you feel that you have been carrying the special event burden then tell him. Ask him to do the planning for this one. But also make sure to tell him that you are not going to complain about or criticize what he chooses. Can be hard to plan something if you think you are going to get pushback on it. If we go to dinner or out for a weekend I always plan it. I got tired of it and asked her to plan something for us, no questions asked, we both enjoyed it. Leave the games out and be straight forward, just be appreciative if he does take over.
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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Dog; time may help. My 100 lb GSD is the same. He is now 6 and ignores squirrels. He was off leash in the yard and did not even chase some rabbits the other day. However, other dogs and cats must be attacked. If we get too close, he will lunge. Fortunately, i have size and strength to handle him.

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Maybe it is just another day with the ole ball and chain.....

WTF. Surely he must know how lucky he is.
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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cayenne wrote:
My hubby is in no way romantic, never has been. I get that. I would love for him to do something special without me having to suggest it.

You don't expect your dog to learn new tricks on it's own do you? If you know he's not romantic by nature I would strongly suggest that you very clearly let him know that it would really mean a lot to you if he planned something romantic.
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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Appreciate the feedback.
Yes, we have tried the gentle leader harness(her nose is too short for the other style)-boy, when she gets in the zone it really doesn't work. I love walking her and she does great at events etc..her "territory" MUST be squirrel free. I will keep plowing ahead with treats in hand. It is part of the breed to zone in on something.

The hubby-great guy and I love him dearly. You guys are right-neither of us is changing after all these years. I have mentioned to him that I would like to be surprised. And as some one said....this isn't just my anniversary! It is his too. Thanks for the reminder on that one.! I will push the envelope at the birthday instead. Maybe if I hint now, he can come up with something by November!
Men and women are so different....funny.
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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Try this - it immediately stops our dog from pulling. It helps to have a longer than normal leash. As they pull harder, it tightens up around the waist and they get immediate feedback.


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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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went from front harness to a prong collar(yes, I know to keep it high on the neck and a short leash)

Can you explain the high on neck part please? I have prong collar but don't know about this part.
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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cayenne wrote:
I have a 31/2 yo female bullmastiff that is fabulous in 90% of everything she does except yanking my ass around when we walk only when she sees a squirrel. It can be traumatic for me(I am old) as she is a tank on legs.
Things I have done-training classes as a puppy and young adult, treats for good behavior(still do that), went from front harness to a prong collar(yes, I know to keep it high on the neck and a short leash), and I have even tried a shock collar most recently. This breed is very stubborn and territorial-we have had 3 others in the past so we know what we have. I just have such a time stopping this behavior-I catch it early and treat her when she ignores or at least doesn't dart after the prey. If I raise my voice-makes it worse. I am calm, but firm. She was gotten away from me before and that is a worry.
Any suggestions??? Oh yaa. my wife has our 100 pd pit in total control. First off you need a choke chain and a short lease. Walk the dog down the street . if she pulls even the slightest , jerk the chain...bur remain walking normal and don’t say anything . keep the dog right where you want her ...any deviations jerk the chain..and be firm about it ...repeat this every walk, you will see a BIG change. Be firm , a half hearted jerk will only acclimate the dog to your weakness.My wife is an animal lover , we have horses too.

My 25 year wedding anniversary is Tuesday. My hubby is in no way romantic, never has been. I get that. I would love for him to do something special without me having to suggest it. He is a bit of a passenger in our marriage which is OK but this is a big deal to me as no one in my family, parents included, has made it this long. He is great going along with what I suggest but dammit, Jim....I want to be appreciated without asking!!! We have had a tough 3 years with his health issues and, frankly, I did not think we would get here. I have brought it up, but it makes me a bit sad that he isn't thinking along those same lines of how special it is. Maybe it isn't to him. Maybe it is just another day with the ole ball and chain.....
get over it , and ...you make it special.

sometimes
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [H-] [ In reply to ]
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You have to keep it at the base of the skull so they wont pull into it. May be helpful to you tube it as my description sucks!
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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Well, the anniversary came and went. We went to the zoo-2 hour drive one way and had a great conversation about the last 25, what we could do better, what we have learned. Fantastic conversation and got to see polar bears-what is better than that!
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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cayenne wrote:
Well, the anniversary came and went. We went to the zoo-2 hour drive one way and had a great conversation about the last 25, what we could do better, what we have learned. Fantastic conversation and got to see polar bears-what is better than that!

"We drove two fucking hours to go to a zoo. Each damn way. There was some dog or cat or bear or some crap. And she wouldn't shut up. All the way there and all the way back. Here's what you did wrong this time. Here's what you did wrong that time. Do this different. Have you learned your lesson yet? I lost a whole damn day and still can't get a blowjob."

We are so fucked.
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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Leave some random Hawaii travel brochures or diamond ring photos laying around on the coffee table.

_________________________________
I'll be what I am
A solitary man
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [cayenne] [ In reply to ]
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Post his email address here and we'll give him some hints/ideas. :-)

I love your attitude (calling yourself the ole ball and chain). So don't beat-up yourself.
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Re: Dog training , and a 25 year wedding anniversary question [j p o] [ In reply to ]
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j p o wrote:
I'll skip the dog and go to the spouse.

My wife is similar and we have been together 30 years. I chose her because she is silly smart and logical. If I made her more romantic I'd probably lose what I liked about her in the first place.

Your husband is not going to change and you probably don't want him to. But if this is important then tell him that he needs to come up with somehtjng. No secret tests. If you don't think he will pull it off, then plan it together.

My wife has completely forgot my birthday twice. It is the second of the month and she loses track. So I make sure to make comments about it a week or so in advance. Why set her up to fail?

Don't expect someone to change after years of established behavior. It goes back to the story about how you can't get mad at a snake for biting you. It is what snakes do.

My wife mailed a card to my office last year that said on the front "Just a reminder that my Birthday is next week" and on the inside "That's All". You might want to pick up a few. I still have it in my office and "That's All, LLC" is the company name on the back. You might want to pick up a few.

One of the things that attracted me to my wife was her sense of humor.
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