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Benefits of Marriage...?
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Howdy. I'm seeking the wisdom of folks with a range of backgrounds, aiming to learn what, if anything, are the benefits of getting married. Let's skip the emotional ones, just assume those are a given and equally prevelant w/ or w/o the legal arrangement. Also, no kids; there aren't and won't be any either way.

Other than clear rights of survivorship, what is there? Tax savings?

What I picture is an annoying stream of updating places with my marriage status and continually correcting people that no, I'm not Mrs. LastName, still just Tsunami. (I threw it out there as a joke but no, he won't take my name either, though I think Mr. Tsunami has a ring to it.)

I don't really see combining bank accounts. Assume we'd still file taxes separately. So what, if anything, are the legal, tax, or other benefits I may be over looking?

To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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Medical/dental insurance.


Team Beam
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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If you ever base the decision to get married on financial reasons, it's better to stay single.

You're such a Trump ball washer! - Duffy - Feb 8, 17 13:18
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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if you're born poor, it's fate.
if you marry poor, it's stupidity.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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Don't get married if these are your questions. Eventually you find the right person or die alone.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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Commitment. In your head and in front of witnesses that in wealth and poverty, health and illness, etc. that you commit to your partner. Not just while it's convenient, but when it gets hard and you have to dig deep to remember what attracted you to this person in the first place.

That you can't live without this person and so you two become one.

Wag More, Bark Less
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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Statistically more likely to stay together if married. Don't know if that is because people are happier or because it is more of a hassle to get formally divorced. After you are common law for a few years in most places you may as well be married the cost of breaking up is the same I think

Life is full of froth and trouble, two things stand in stone
Kindness in another's troubles, courage in one's own
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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Echoing what some others have said, if you have to ask why, then don't get married.

My personal experience with a spouse with a different last name (almost ten years and counting) is that it is no big deal. Its more common than you think when you are dealing with two people with professional careers. We actually kinda enjoy the fun we have with hotel people during trips with the fact.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [GREG_n_SD] [ In reply to ]
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These are along the lines I was thinking, but I don't know if there is some other means of establishing partnership other than marriage. I suppose that may vary state by state.

To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.
Last edited by: Tsunami: Oct 8, 17 10:03
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [windywave] [ In reply to ]
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With all due respect, this sounds like an emotional response. If a couple feels committed w/o the output of time and money to legally establish the relationship, then the benefits of marriage are what? Not every guy/gal requires a ring on their finger to feel confident someone won't leave them, or that they'll die alone w/o one.

Plus, unless an accident takes out both people at once, most people will die alone. 1st one dies w/ companionship, 2nd one not-so-much.

To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.
Last edited by: Tsunami: Oct 8, 17 9:51
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [len] [ In reply to ]
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i never had an desire to get married and ended up having to had a sharia wedding - not literally but because we moved to the ME, we could not live together without being married. We'd been together for years, moved to the ME, realised that we could not live together without being married and got married 4 weeks after we moved there.

Being married or a couple would make no difference to any divorce proceedings. Either way it would be the same.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [MOP_Roy] [ In reply to ]
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I don't understand the concept "if I don't know why, then don't get married". What's wrong with trying to understand the financial implications of any arrangement into which one is considering entering? I am not trying to suggest financial motives are the only reason we're considering it. I'm saying all other things being equal, what are the financial / legal pro's / con's?

I actually came to ST, and yes, the LR at that, b/c I'd hoped to draw on a better source of emotionally distant input. If I'd wanted an emotional point of view, I'd have asked facebook.

(That's not meant to you specifically, I'm just trying to reinforce I want to understand the not-emotional considerations...)

Is the idea that there is no financial upside? Are the financial ones really a downside? e.g. Disproportionately higher taxes?

To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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After reading your post I suggest (strongly) that you stay single.

Or, if you want to fleece the life out of some sucker of a cuckold man, get (and stay) married for 10 years, then take his house, his kids and half his money.

Because with an attitude like yours those are your choices.

For the sake of some poor sap in your future, stay single.

”look, duffy is a great lover. the best!” -

slowman (owner of slowtwitch.com) 10/01/17
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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Tsunami wrote:
I don't understand the concept "if I don't know why, then don't get married". What's wrong with trying to understand the financial implications of any arrangement into which one is considering entering? I am not trying to suggest financial motives are the only reason we're considering it. I'm saying all other things being equal, what are the financial / legal pro's / con's?

I actually came to ST, and yes, the LR at that, b/c I'd hoped to draw on a better source of emotionally distant input. If I'd wanted an emotional point of view, I'd have asked facebook.

(That's not meant to you specifically, I'm just trying to reinforce I want to understand the not-emotional considerations...)

Is the idea that there is no financial upside? Are the financial ones really a downside? e.g. Disproportionately higher taxes?

I'm with you here, this idea that only "real marriage" means commitment is bogus. My partner and I are committed to each other and we both expressly reject the idea that the government should have some say in the validity of that.

Can't help with the financial side, other than to say that the wedding industrial complex is a clusterfuck of epic proportions. If you do decide to tie the knot, head dine yo the courthouse and spend your money on a fine payment on a house or 20 shares of Facebook ;)

===============
Trump is like a terrible DJ in an awesome club.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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The sex


Hahahaha
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [CaptainCanada] [ In reply to ]
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Not sure where you live, but in Alberta if you cohabit for longer than 6 months the government considers you "married". Add in, if you split up you follow the rules of divorce (50-50) split. If you have children together I think it takes effect in less than 6 months.

Shacking up isn't as easy to get out of as it once was.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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DINKS?

The first two letters is one advantage..Buy more house, live in a better neighborhood, drive a decent car, have a fall back if one of you gets into financial trouble(lose job). But really if updating the paperwork is too much for you(probably less than the time you spent on this thread already) probably not a good idea..
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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I know you identified these, but, I am going to run down the list:

1. Tax benefits.

2. Ownership/probate. In most states, if you die intestate, the "life partner" gets nothing. If you die with a will, the bequeathing in the will is still subject to challenge by blood relatives. If married, those issues go away. Also, most states are "marital property" states. So, you get joint ownership of all each other's assets (and debts.).

3. Financial transactions. It is much easier to get a home mortgage, auto loan, etc. when you are married and both on the account. Especially when a home mortgage, it is a lot more difficult if you are not legally married.

4. Medical and end-of-life decisions. A spouse is the default decision-maker. Otherwise, the "life partner" has no rights to make decisions. Even if you have a power-of-attorney or a living will, blood relatives have standing to challenge your decisions.

5. Health insurance. Nearly every health insurance plan has a family or "plus one" option for a spouse. Very few allow "life partners" to join the plan.

6. Social security benefits, IRA, pension, other retirement accounts. Surviving spouse gets benefits.

7. Leave benefits under the FMLA. You get up to 12 weeks leave to care for a spouse (or other family member). Does not apply if not married.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Leddy] [ In reply to ]
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Leddy wrote:
The sex


Hahahaha

Of the lack thereof.

If sex is not that important to you in a relationship, then marriage may be the solution.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [JSA] [ In reply to ]
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JSA wrote:
I know you identified these, but, I am going to run down the list:

1. Tax benefits.

2. Ownership/probate. In most states, if you die intestate, the "life partner" gets nothing. If you die with a will, the bequeathing in the will is still subject to challenge by blood relatives. If married, those issues go away. Also, most states are "marital property" states. So, you get joint ownership of all each other's assets (and debts.).

Anyone could challenge the will but the will most likely upheld regardless.

3. Financial transactions. It is much easier to get a home mortgage, auto loan, etc. when you are married and both on the account. Especially when a home mortgage, it is a lot more difficult if you are not legally married.

You can still do all of that regardless of you are married


4. Medical and end-of-life decisions. A spouse is the default decision-maker. Otherwise, the "life partner" has no rights to make decisions. Even if you have a power-of-attorney or a living will, blood relatives have standing to challenge your decisions.

So they can challenge it but the living will wind.

5. Health insurance. Nearly every health insurance plan has a family or "plus one" option for a spouse. Very few allow "life partners" to join the plan.

Can't argue that one.

6. Social security benefits, IRA, pension, other retirement accounts. Surviving spouse gets benefits.

IRA / retirement accounts can be left to
Whomever you want. If you have a spouse they may have to sign off on it. If you don't have a spouse it doesn't matter.

7. Leave benefits under the FMLA. You get up to 12 weeks leave to care for a spouse (or other family member). Does not apply if not married.

Can't argue this one either.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [JSA] [ In reply to ]
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6 is really huge long term.

And the ability to plan long term financially I think is one of the often overlooked benefits of getting and staying married. When we were 25 we were making plans for what things would look like when we were 70. That is just such a huge advantage.

If getting married makes it more likely to stay together that has to be taken into account. It sounds very unromantic but I also think people should pay more attention to economics when deciding to get divorced.

We are so fucked.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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Tsunami wrote:
With all due respect, this sounds like an emotional response. If a couple feels committed w/o the output of time and money to legally establish the relationship, then the benefits of marriage are what? Not every guy/gal requires a ring on their finger to feel confident someone won't leave them, or that they'll die alone w/o one.

Plus, unless an accident takes out both people at once, most people will die alone. 1st one dies w/ companionship, 2nd one not-so-much.

When people say with all due respect, it's a passive aggressive way to say fuck you. With all due respect, why don't you or your partner want to get married? What's the objection? What's the nagging concern in the back of one of your minds? You get really defensive when someone hints at those questions, so I asked it outright.

One of you two appears not to want to get married. Great I agree, you shouldn't, just for different reasons. If the only reason you're getting married is JSA's list, don't bother. I could have gotten married and never worked another day of my life, I didn't and the best decision I ever made. When I met my wife I knew I wanted to marry her and not in the conceptual "Gee whiz I'd like to get married some day." One of you two don't seem to have that, which is why I recommend you don't get married. (If you want it strictly in economic terms, getting divorced is expensive, even if you prepackage it with a mediator. Save the money.)
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Duffy] [ In reply to ]
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Duffy wrote:
After reading your post I suggest (strongly) that you stay single.

Or, if you want to fleece the life out of some sucker of a cuckold man, get (and stay) married for 10 years, then take his house, his kids and half his money.

Because with an attitude like yours those are your choices.

For the sake of some poor sap in your future, stay single.

An attitude like what - researching something instead of jumping in blind? That notion is really so offensive?

To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [JSA] [ In reply to ]
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JSA wrote:
I know you identified these, but, I am going to run down the list:

1. Tax benefits.

2. Ownership/probate. In most states, if you die intestate, the "life partner" gets nothing. If you die with a will, the bequeathing in the will is still subject to challenge by blood relatives. If married, those issues go away. Also, most states are "marital property" states. So, you get joint ownership of all each other's assets (and debts.).

3. Financial transactions. It is much easier to get a home mortgage, auto loan, etc. when you are married and both on the account. Especially when a home mortgage, it is a lot more difficult if you are not legally married.

4. Medical and end-of-life decisions. A spouse is the default decision-maker. Otherwise, the "life partner" has no rights to make decisions. Even if you have a power-of-attorney or a living will, blood relatives have standing to challenge your decisions.

5. Health insurance. Nearly every health insurance plan has a family or "plus one" option for a spouse. Very few allow "life partners" to join the plan.

6. Social security benefits, IRA, pension, other retirement accounts. Surviving spouse gets benefits.

7. Leave benefits under the FMLA. You get up to 12 weeks leave to care for a spouse (or other family member). Does not apply if not married.

Thank you.

To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.
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Re: Benefits of Marriage...? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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Tsunami wrote:
Duffy wrote:
After reading your post I suggest (strongly) that you stay single.

Or, if you want to fleece the life out of some sucker of a cuckold man, get (and stay) married for 10 years, then take his house, his kids and half his money.

Because with an attitude like yours those are your choices.

For the sake of some poor sap in your future, stay single.

An attitude like what - researching something instead of jumping in blind? That notion is really so offensive?

Did I say offensive? No.

I was referring to the general nature of your question more by what was missing than what was there. I’ll let you try and figure out what that is. As for what was there I refer to the following...

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I'm not Mrs. LastName, still just Tsunami.

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I don't really see combining bank accounts. Assume we'd still file taxes separately.

If you don’t want to combine names, don’t want to combine bank accounts and don’t want to combine taxes then you don’t want to be a married person...so don’t be a married person.

If you do marry with this attitude (you may be thinking I’m saying “attitude” as a bad thing, like “that bitch has an attitude”, but what I actually mean is just your general outlook on this subject) you will end up divorced.

98% of divorces end up completely fucking over the man in the relationship. That’s not your fault, it’s just how the law treats these things. So do yourself and your man (future man) a huge favor. Don’t get married.

”look, duffy is a great lover. the best!” -

slowman (owner of slowtwitch.com) 10/01/17
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