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Beggining to feel better...
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On appropriate medications and my mind is settling down. The extreme anxiety is reduced, however I still find I have this underlying and often overwhelming sense of dread/sadness present. When I slow down for a minute my thoughts usually become dark/sad, and my stomach starts to ache.

Looking back I have always had this feeling, the anxiety, the dread/sadness. A feeling that I was never good enough, that something was always about to go wrong. This is just the worst it has been. I look back now at my bursts of anger, the hurtful words I would say to those I love when it would happen, and the scapegoating that would follow as I desperately attempted to lie to myself that I was not the problem, cognitive dissonance you bitch, and I see the pattern staring me in the face.

Exercise would temper the issue, but when I would stop the feeling would come back and my personality would begin to change and those around me would suffer. I have an amazing doctor, and I will be working with him for the next while until this gets sorted out.
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Re: Beggining to feel better... [TA3] [ In reply to ]
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TA3 wrote:
On appropriate medications and my mind is settling down. The extreme anxiety is reduced, however I still find I have this underlying and often overwhelming sense of dread/sadness present. When I slow down for a minute my thoughts usually become dark/sad, and my stomach starts to ache.

Looking back I have always had this feeling, the anxiety, the dread/sadness. A feeling that I was never good enough, that something was always about to go wrong. This is just the worst it has been. I look back now at my bursts of anger, the hurtful words I would say to those I love when it would happen, and the scapegoating that would follow as I desperately attempted to lie to myself that I was not the problem, cognitive dissonance you bitch, and I see the pattern staring me in the face.

Exercise would temper the issue, but when I would stop the feeling would come back and my personality would begin to change and those around me would suffer. I have an amazing doctor, and I will be working with him for the next while until this gets sorted out.


Do you enjoy reading? I can remember some of my darkest hours I was able to dig myself out of by sinking myself into some good books. Books that really made me think about the plot and characters.
Mark

Edited to add: Great to hear you are feeling better. :)

https://www.miles4matt.run/
Last edited by: M~: Jan 12, 18 5:52
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Re: Beggining to feel better... [TA3] [ In reply to ]
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Good to hear that things are getting better. Get yourself right, and hope you get your family stuff sorted too. Its a process and can take time.

Good luck.

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Re: Beggining to feel better... [TA3] [ In reply to ]
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Keep at it. It's been what? a week? Try not to take everything to extremes, including the exercise. No point in abusing yourself just when you starting to steer on to a better course.
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Re: Beggining to feel better... [TA3] [ In reply to ]
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Glad to here this.

Life is full of froth and trouble, two things stand in stone
Kindness in another's troubles, courage in one's own
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Re: Beggining to feel better... [knewbike] [ In reply to ]
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2 weeks since I started the meds.

Just getting back into training. I never really took much of a break this year, just the week before Christmas and the week I was in New York. I have been doing some weights in the morning, which feels good.
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Re: Beggining to feel better... [TA3] [ In reply to ]
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I wish you the best. It is good that you have taken these steps. You, and your family are worth the effort.
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Re: Beggining to feel better... [TA3] [ In reply to ]
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TA3 wrote:
2 weeks since I started the meds.

Just getting back into training. I never really took much of a break this year, just the week before Christmas and the week I was in New York. I have been doing some weights in the morning, which feels good.

And don't forget, even if you aren't feeling as good as you want right now, meds often need adjusted as you go. Make sure to keep your doctor in the loop on how you feel.

And I'm going to throw this out as a PSA even if you already know it. For the love of all that is good, take the meds as prescribed. That means on time and on dose. I know way too many people that get on meds and then don't take them on time or only take them when they feel like they need it. That makes everything worse. You are then medically inducing chemical imbalance.

We are so fucked.
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