I got tired of looking at the black ones so I painted them green. I live in New York, painted toenails rarely even cause most people to look twice. There are more guys on our masters team wearing paint then women in total, and there are at least 10 females.

Just a suggestion--if y'all ever come down here to the Redneck Riviera, get some c'boy boots and leave 'em on--even at the beach!

I have a client who has offices in Oscala and Stewart, FLA. While I get close to the RR, I never take off my shoes and if I do I will make sure my girlfriend is carrying her mace.

Lemme See ... if some dude takes issue with your painted toenails, you're going to sick your girlfriend on them? =)

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-- Every morning brings opportunity;
Each evening offers judgement. --

I can't risk a seperated shoulder this close to the season. Besides where would I carry the piece if I am wearing a Speedo.

Please people.

I go to the YMCA in Rockford Il. We have a special locker room that is about $40.00 a month over the normal dues. They provide towels, soap, shampoo, steam room, sauna, whirlpool....blah blah blah.



I go there, hang my coat on a rack with other coats. Take off my suit and put it in my private locker. Leave my wallet in the pants, dont lock the locker. Nothing is ever missing - ever. I even once left a quite costly watch on top of my locker with the door closed - at about 5pm one day. 9am the next day...my watch was still there. I guess we have more honest people here maybe.

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What if the Hokey Pokey is what it is all about?

Damn! A missing towel! Rats! We need more than that.

I keep waiting on a post under the general topic "Wierd Things Out At The Pool" to top last year's winner: "Chick Fight In The Pool."

I was so hoping for a thread like last year's "Chick Fight In The Pool," I clicked on this. Anyone remember when one of our tri posters here was swimming out at a SoCAL YMCA, and he described how two women, who were swimming beside him in lanes, the two women apparently didn't know one another, and something happened, he didn't know, and they just stopped and started wailing on one another.

I've had those Speedo sandal-things stolen once, but my worst experience was with a towl.

2 years ago I was unpacking my stuff getting ready for a swim when I went to get a drink. The cooler is 5 feet away and I leave my towel on the bench. I turn around and I see this -huge- down-syndrome kid sitting on my towel farting and clapping his hands in joy.

Can you guess what I did with the towel



(hint it's probably still on that bench hehe).

I think what we need here is something to "ward off" potential swimming pool towel thiefs. The problem here, from what I have read, is that these people taking the towels just don't give their victims any respect. The fact that the majority of the "towel takers" are doing it by mistake just means your presence and your swimming garb were totally disregarded.

Here's what I'm thinking Freestyle. You walk out on the deck from the locker room. Instead of a towel, you are wearing a long, bright, purple towel robe, with an elevated, white, fluffy collar---the article of clothing would look much like a bright, royal, flowing King's Robe, but it would function as a towel. It would have washable buttons and a deep, thick, white fluffy lining.

Now, who would steal that thing? Who's going to run out of that place with your King Swimming Robe?

It's not like somebody could pick that up by mistake.

"Crap. What's this. What's this wierd, long purple King's Robe Towel.This is not mine. I must return this. Here, sir. Is this your's?"

And, as you walk out onto the deck, with that Robe on, before you begin your workout, the robe would come with a large scepter. Before you jump in, you would bang your scepter hard on the deck beside your lane, 10 times, stating, "This is my Robe Towel I am laying down by this chair. This is my lane. I will now commence my intervals. Do Not Steal My Shit. Thank You. I am the King Of This Pool."

The men with the hairy backs and thongs in the sauna will stop and take notice: "Hey who the hell is that? I'm not messing with that guy's stuff."

A couple years ago there was a den of thieves locally that was stealing cars at the malls, getting the addresses from the registration and driving "home" to clean out the house and whatever vehicles were there. They then graduated to stealing car keys at municipal pools (alarm systems work well for locating cars in crowded lots) and doing the same thing. Focused primarily on computers and financial records in the houses and apparently then sold to the ID theft market.

I just polled all the men on my masters swim team as to what they paint their toenails with. Ninety percent of the respondants said "Fungi-Nail."

I didn't think anyone could top the crotch fungus post. I've been laughing for a half hour over this one.

jaretj

Wear a get-up like that and you might clear the pool !

Booth, after reading your post I think you should be crowned "King Funny Bastard" :-)

Booth - damn that was funny! I bet you'd never have a problem finding a lone lane in that garb.

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"your horse is too high" - tigerchik

It would be better if Boothrand showed up to a race like that.

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Reverend Dr. Jay
Lake of the Pines Triathlon fastest bike course record holder - Golden State Super Sprint fastest tri course record holder - Wildflower Long Course slowest run course record holder (4:46:32)

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"If you have a body, you are an athlete." -Bill Bowerman

Here'sthe robe you need.



And



(Gary Hall Jr. at the 2003 Pan American games)

This is the funniest thing I've read in quite a while...

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