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Re: My Story - ironman registration [JasoninHalifax] [ In reply to ]
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Tell them you've been seeing this amazing men's health doctor and have been training like you're 25 years old again and able to recover so quickly and completely, that you cannot wait to compete agaist the best triathletes.

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The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [mck414] [ In reply to ]
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I've been getting coaching tips from Julie Miller

Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [JasoninHalifax] [ In reply to ]
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Write this down, word for word:

https://www.youtube.com/...59&v=Qtmi4Nc-3dE
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [AussieIron] [ In reply to ]
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AussieIron wrote:
Tell them about your secret life as a biscuit designer
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this reminds me of former kona days when the list of athletes, in the program book we all got, listed occupations. a handful of people took to fantasy and put down all manner of zany things. then ironman quit doing it. that was that.
peggy
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [pmcdc] [ In reply to ]
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pmcdc wrote:
AussieIron wrote:
Tell them about your secret life as a biscuit designer

=====================================================
this reminds me of former kona days when the list of athletes, in the program book we all got, listed occupations. a handful of people took to fantasy and put down all manner of zany things. then ironman quit doing it. that was that.
peggy

I did a few races in the late 80s/early 90s that asked for your occupation on the entry form. I used to put down "Benevolent Wheel Truing Deity"...

"I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10, and I don't know why!"
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [pmcdc] [ In reply to ]
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Yup, have been called over the line as a biscuit designer, camel trainer and rocking horse tester
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [JasoninHalifax] [ In reply to ]
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I say ‘it’s not safe for work’. Really my best stories aren’t.
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [Tri-Banter] [ In reply to ]
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Tri-Banter wrote:
Use this:

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Lol, that was by far the best part of that movie. :)
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [JasoninHalifax] [ In reply to ]
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I didn't want a diet Coke
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [SBRcanuck] [ In reply to ]
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What about Mouth translating?

“The marijuana goes in the top drawer, the speed in the second drawer, and cocaine in the third. Always separate the drugs.”

Or the Truffle Shuffle? Jail break...the whole movie is just amazing.


SBRcanuck wrote:
Tri-Banter wrote:
Use this:

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Lol, that was by far the best part of that movie. :)
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [JasoninHalifax] [ In reply to ]
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"As an inspiring writer, I took a position as the caretaker for the isolated Overlook Hotel in the Colorado Rockies through the winter. I spent my days riding my trainer, running on the treadmill, and swimming in the hotel pool to train for Muncie 70.3. When I wasn't training, I came up with the following story:

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play MAKES Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dullboy. All work and no play makes Jack a dyll boy. All WORK and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play MAKES Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dullboy. All work and no play makes Jack a dyll boy. All WORK and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

(repeat the paragraphs until your character limit has been met, making sure that you leave room that your wife and son thought it was a great story)
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [JasoninHalifax] [ In reply to ]
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Tell them story about when you dropped the soap in the prison shower.
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [windschatten] [ In reply to ]
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Tell them a story of a lovely lady, who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had of gold, like the mother, the youngest one in curls. Then tell them a story, of a man named Brady, who was busy with three boys of his own. They were four men, living all together, but they were alone. Til one day the lady met the fella, and they knew it was much more than a hunch. This group must somehow form a family.
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [mattr] [ In reply to ]
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My story goes like this: United States Naval Aviator LT Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and his Radar Intercept Officer LTJG Nick "Goose" Bradshaw fly the F-14A Tomcat aboard USS Enterprise (CVN-65). During an interception with two hostile MiG-28 aircraft (portrayed by a Northrop F-5), Maverick gets missile lock on one, while the other hostile aircraft locks onto Maverick's wingman, Cougar. While Maverick drives off the remaining MiG-28, Cougar is too shaken to land, and Maverick, defying orders, shepherds him back to the carrier. Cougar gives up his wings, citing his newborn child that he has never seen. Despite his dislike for Maverick's recklessness, CAG "Stinger" sends him and Goose to attend the Top Gun school at NAS Miramar.

At a bar the day before Top Gun starts, Maverick, assisted by Goose, unsuccessfully approaches a woman. He learns the next day that she is Charlotte "Charlie" Blackwood, an astrophysicist and civilian Top Gun instructor. She becomes interested in Maverick upon learning of his inverted maneuver with the MiG-28, which disproves US intelligence on the enemy aircraft's performance.

During Maverick's first training sortie he defeats instructor Rick "Jester" Heatherly but through reckless flying breaks two rules of engagement and is reprimanded by chief instructor Mike "Viper" Metcalf. Maverick also becomes a rival to top student Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, who considers Maverick's flying "dangerous." Charlie also refutes Maverick's aggressive tactics, but eventually admits that she admires his flying and omitted it from her reports to hide her feelings for him, and the two begin a romantic relationship.
During a training sortie Maverick abandons his wingman "Hollywood" to chase Viper, but is defeated when Viper maneuvers Maverick into a position from which his wingman Jester can shoot down Maverick from behind, demonstrating the value of teamwork over individual prowess.

Maverick and Iceman, now direct competitors for the Top Gun Trophy, chase Jester in a later training engagement. Maverick pressures Iceman to break off his engagement so he can shoot down Jester, but Maverick's F-14 flies through the jet wash of Iceman's aircraft and suffers a flameout of both engines, going into an unrecoverable flat spin. Maverick and Goose eject, but Goose hits the jettisoned aircraft canopy head-first and is killed.

Although the board of inquiry clears Maverick of responsibility for Goose's death, he is overcome by guilt and his flying skill diminishes. Charlie and others attempt to console him, but Maverick considers retiring. He seeks advice from Viper, who reveals that he served with Maverick's father Duke Mitchell on the USS Oriskany. Mitchell was subject to an unspecified disgrace, which has hampered Maverick's career and self-confidence, but Viper reveals classified information that proves Mitchell died heroically, and informs Maverick that he can succeed if he can regain his self-confidence. Maverick chooses to graduate, though Iceman wins the Top Gun Trophy.

During the graduation party, Viper calls in the newly graduated aviators with the orders to deploy. Iceman, Hollywood, and Maverick are ordered to immediately return to Enterprise to deal with a "crisis situation", providing air support for the rescue of a stricken ship that has drifted into hostile waters.

Maverick and Merlin are assigned as back-up for F-14s flown by Iceman and Hollywood, despite Iceman's reservations over Maverick's state of mind. The subsequent hostile engagement with six MiGs sees Hollywood shot down; Maverick is scrambled alone due to a catapult failure and nearly retreats after encountering circumstances similar to those that caused Goose's death. Upon finally rejoining Iceman, Maverick shoots down three MiGs, and Iceman one, forcing the other two to flee. Upon their triumphant return to Enterprise, Iceman and Maverick express a new respect for one other.

Offered any assignment he chooses, Maverick decides to return to Top Gun as an instructor. At a bar at Miramar, Maverick and Charlie reunite.
And Anything is Possible.
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [JasoninHalifax] [ In reply to ]
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I always give them a fake story and profession. They clearly monetize the data for marketing purposes so the least I can do is give them some BS. I'll put the vitally important stuff as accurate (medical history, etc.) but many of the fields aren't needed to help you race an ironman.

I think on my last one I put that I was an Astronaut inspector.

I'm just waiting for them to announce me at the finish line like....

"And here's Tim, he's a proessional crocodile wrestler from Canada! He's joining us straight from the Natonal Crocodile Wrestling League"
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [davetallo] [ In reply to ]
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With a story like that would you request Danger Zone or Take My Breath Away to be played as you entered the finish shoot?
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [JasoninHalifax] [ In reply to ]
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JasoninHalifax wrote:
I went through the registration for Muncie 70.3 just to find out what the final price would be ($23 for Active.com fees, ugh...). Haven't completed the signup yet, because of this issue....

Why the hell do they want to know "my story" so badly? It's a freakin' mandatory field! What should I tell them?

Just tell 'em...

Virgil Caine is the name, and I served on the Danville train..'Till Stoneman's cavalry came and tore up the tracks again
In the winter of '65, we were hungry, just barely alive...By May the tenth, Richmond had fell, it's a time I remember, oh so well
The night they drove old Dixie down, and the bells were ringing
Back with my wife in Tennessee, when one day she called to me..."Virgil, quick, come see, there goes Robert E Lee". Now I don't mind choppin' wood, and I don't care if the money's no good.. Ya take what ya need and ya leave the rest, but they should never have taken the very best.
Like my father before me, I will work the land. Like my brother above me, who took a rebel stand
He was just eighteen, proud and brave, but a Yankee laid him in his grave... I swear by the mud below my feet,
You can't raise a Caine back up when he's in defeat.
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Re: My Story - ironman registration [JasoninHalifax] [ In reply to ]
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The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
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