One thing I think isn’t being stressed enough, I’ve been trying to make this point in a couple of other threads and getting flamed for it btw, is that victims need to go to the police right away.

We need to teach people, women especially in the case of rape, that they have to report the crime immediately.

It’s horrible what happened to your family member but by her not going to the police right away her rapist is free and victimize others (and continues to victimize your family member).

Every time I have said this people say I’m “blaming the victim”.

So be it. I’m tired of trying to defend it.

I’m also tired of rapists raping over and over again because victims don’t speak up.

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Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.

- Chinese proverb

 
I think there are some key differences between men and women and our appendages or lack thereof may actually be at the center of it.

Being a woman would be weird as hell. I, as a straight male, can't really imagine the idea of having someone else "go inside of me". The thought weirds me out, I can't imagine it being pleasant and would find it disturbing for someone else to have their body part inside of me.

As a male I have an appendage that I can put in other people, but nothing goes inside of me. Luckily for me, in my psyche that is much preferable.

If a woman hits on me, she is not suggesting/threatening to put herself inside of me, she is essentially asking me to do that to her. She is asking for me to do something "to her" not "have something done to me". Now I realize that men can be raped if they are intoxicated or otherwise unable to stop the process. But it still seems different in that the woman wants that man inside her, he is not being forced to have something inside of him. This may be where some of the difference comes between different genders reactions to sexual advances. I was hit on relentlessly at a previous job and if I hadn't had qualms about sex with married women I would have had no issue giving her what she was asking for. Not sure I would have felt the same if I was a woman.

Going back to your point. I can't imagine it is pleasant to discuss how someone forced themselves inside you, or to have someone else examine the inside if you after that forced penetration. Also we all tend to think we can forget things if we just don't think about them. All of this leads to women not reporting. Yes, of course they should. But it still seems more embarrassing for a woman to get examined and have to describe someone going into them rather than a man who is raped and is now just mad that someone used his tool without his consent.

I was once drugged and had things put insid me by at least two women.

No big deal, to me at least.

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Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.

- Chinese proverb

Yeah but you pseudo work for the EPA so you are accustomed to sitting around with your thumb up your ass!

I don’t work for any government agency.

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Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.

- Chinese proverb

I am so with you on this Duffy. In my circumstances the rapist was a guy she knew. She considered him a friend and there had never been anything sexual between them before. PTSD is what I think she and others experience but I am no doc...

So here's a idea and I am going to give it to all of you on the hope that you donate 10% of your profits to charity. Develop an app. Call it "I consent". The app is a simple contract that people would have on their phone that states they agree the hookup between parties A and parties B is consensual. The app should take 60 seconds to fill out. It isn't sexy. It isn't cool, but if sure beats having the cops knock at your door and it would remove any doubt. Not the end all to the problem but it's a start.

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"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

The problem with these culture wars is that we lose so many people to psychosis -- on both sides. Stay strong!

In response to Duffy and Trail....why is it those who claim that they "Know how to speak to women" are the ones who are typically perceived as the creepers.....weird...

This sentence struck a chord with me. I didn't get married until mid 30's. Almost all the earlier relationships ended because the relationship got kinda dull. It was like the relationship would, after a while, start rotating around my life. Eventually I found a hot DC Lawyer that was wicked smart and full of gumption. So I began a long campaign to marry the girl. And now our oldest boy just entered started HS.

She's full of moxie tho. She runs the house. It's pretty rare that I say "no, that's not acceptable". 99% of the things around the house and general family stuff, I just don't have strong feelings about. I really like being married to an assertive power-chick type. There were girls that looked like fashion models, there were girls that were amazing in the rack, but I got bored with them. Power-chicks rule.

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Books @ Amazon
"If only he had used his genius for niceness, instead of Evil." M. Smart

Sounds like Mrs. Duffy in a lot of ways. She’s not a lawyer though.


Same here. But the 1% that I do care about is absolute and my decisions are final.

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Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.

- Chinese proverb