No two marriages have identical variables, and I understand why some people would want to treat their second marriage as though it was their first, but I think that's part of the pathology of the process. I'm always happy when people find their match. A happily married couple is, IMO, a better state of being than two happy non married individuals, but in the majority of cases, the problems that led to the first divorce carry over into subsequent marriages, and those in attendance are generally aware of that fact. First marriages are about youth, promise, optimism, expanding and merging families, and other things worthy of celebrating. Second marriages are about picking up the pieces and, hopefully, though statistically unlikely, making the best of a bad situation (refer back to point #1: you may be the bad in the situation.). That's not really a drag everyone across the country/blow your vacation time and money type of event, from where I sit.

As I mentioned, I think celebrating milestone anniversaries are a far better way to pay tribute to a second marriage, all things considered, since at those intervals there's actually something worthy of celebration.



My mother was somewhat disappointed that I didn't make it a priority to fly to Canada to celebrate her 4th marriage. My sister will be disappointed should I choose our annual family reunion/vacation over her second marriage (they're adjacent weeks next summer and likely would have to choose one). I gave her away in my father's absence at her first wedding, welcomed her jackass soon-to-be ex to our family, and toasted their union at the reception. This year I found out in one Facebook profile status update that 1) she and her long time live-in boyfriend had broken up, and 2) that she was newly engaged to someone I didn't know existed. I feel like I've done my part as it pertains to her family circus, and my presence, in addition to being a major inconvenience, would be purely out of a sense of obligation to not embarrass her in front of her new in-laws by not showing up.

I vividly remember my mother's first wedding after my father died. There's a photo somewhere in my house of the event, which, judging from the expressions on every face, looked more like a funeral. He (her ex) later did time for felony rape. I know my view is darkly colored by my personal experience with remarriage, but honestly, I cannot imagine my kids being forced to witness me or mrs sphere throwing a party to celebrate turning the page on one of their parents. It's physically nauseating to think about, and I'm not all that interested in watching my niece and nephews forced to do the same.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

I'm beginning to think everyone should just elope. Weddings have just become ridiculous.

I'm glad we didn't spend a ton on our's. It is hard for me to remember any specific event from the wedding, other than our unity candle not wanting to light and some nice woman buying us a bottle of champagne when we got to the hotel. Oh, and the fact that 'Us and Them' makes for one ludicrously long first dance.

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I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.

You're saying they had a wedding event, beyond just signing the requisite paperwork, for a remarriage that occurred six months after they divorced?

That's fucking insane. "Thank you all for coming, and sharing in this fucking circus we call our marriage. I know we could've just come to our senses and fixed this mistake privately, but hey, why not make a spectacle of it, and after all, who doesn't love a wedding, amirite?. Enjoy the tater tots and cheese fountain, and don't forget to leave your gifts on the table by the front door!"

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

Un-fucking-believable...

Now, consider the average cost is $26,720 for the wedding. The average number of wedding guests is 120. (https://www.bustle.com/...ing-guests-in-the-us). From the link I provided earlier in the thread, the average cost per attendee for a wedding is $900.

That means the average amount spent for a wedding by the couple and their guests is $134,720. What a fucking waste of money.


See:

Average Wedding Cost
The average wedding cost in the United States is $26,720. Couples, on average, spend between $20,040 and $33,400 but, most couples spend less than $10,000. This does not include cost for a honeymoon. Understanding wedding cost now can help you with your wedding budget later.

https://www.costofwedding.com/


HOWEVER:

This link says the average cost for a wedding in 2017 will be $35,329.

https://www.bustle.com/...e-for-everyone-45117

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

Hey, do you know my in-laws? That pretty much describes them. She was a couple days from filing again 2 summers ago too...

I have to believe that the per-guest cost is grossly inflated from what people actually say. Then again, we did have a dozen Aussies come for ours, did a bit of "tour of the U.S.A." while here for a month, so if one looked at that total as a wedding guest expense you could pretty much figure $40k+ right there. We dropped $1k on our photographer 10 years ago, who charges around $4k today for the same package.

But the average wedding cost of nearly $27k is believable. My area of SW Michigan has a fairly low cost of living and that's still a realistic and ridiculous amount. To think with our cost of living, that's right in with what a person would need for a 20% down payment on an average & nice home around here. That's mind boggling money for a few hours.

Or how about you pay to have the people you want to attend join you. Me pay to attend your destination wedding?

Highly doubtful unless I was already planning a vacation there anyway.

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How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?

I'm curious who's spending this money. My son just got married in July. We splurged and paid for the airline tickets for the honeymoon and the wine and beer for the reception and the rehearsal dinner (10 or 12 people). Her parents paid for the hall, dinner and some other stuff needed. They had no bridal party, only them and the officiant. They invited 200, 150 attended. All in, I think we spent about $3K but $2.4K of that was for the airline tickets.

My daughter on the other hand...

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TEAM HD
Each day is what you make of it so make it the best day possible.

Well, my idiot son just got married at Crater Lake, OR. Only had the wedding party in attendance. Let's look at some costs.

Wifie: $900 dress + $150 shoes + $650 plane ticket + $450 lodging + wedding gift + food.

Daughter: $350 groomswoman dress + $150 shoes + $150 in gas + $450 lodging + wedding gift + food.

Daughter's boyfriend: $100 shoes + $250 travel expenses + $450 lodging + food.

The travel costs were compiled by AMEX, looking at actual bills. It wasn't a survey. I think $900 is about right.


I have recent experience with this, using pricing in Milwaukee.

The bitch my idiot son married tried to strong-arm us into paying for their wedding, before she decided to do this at Crater Lake. We offered to help pay for the $12,000 package she found. But, she wanted the $27,000-30,000 package (did not include photographer or flowers) and we told them we would not pay that kind of money for a wedding (especially for a couple who are nearly 30 and have been on two cruises in the last 12 months).

Mind boggling is right.

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

Why do you say that? Science or emotion? Science seems to say that, at least after the first marriage, the smart move it to stay single. A second marriage is most likely to lead to more heartache. If there are "two happy non married individuals" what is best? Leave them happy? Or set them up for heartache and a life of anger?

I am sorry for the sadness you have experienced in your family with regard to marriages. Does this not point to a remaining single as best course for most? (Not what I think, but, the question is, what is purpose and intent of marriage?)

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It doesn't really matter what Phil is saying, the music of his voice is the appropriate soundtrack for a bicycle race. HTupolev

Intuition. Clearly not the case for everyone, but on the average, I think people benefit from lifelong companionship when the relationship positively impacts both participants.


I don't know, really. I think it certainly points to a need for people to get their shit together before entering into a serious commitment like marriage, if nothing else. Serial marriage, in my experience, is a symptom of a deeper underlying problem that isn't typically fixed by wedding vows.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

Agreed. Usually, those underlying problems need a deeper, more permanent solution, like having babies.

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Long Chile was a silly place.