Shit. Wow.

Talk to your daughter often. That is a tough way to start college and being away from home for the first time.

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It doesn't really matter what Phil is saying, the music of his voice is the appropriate soundtrack for a bicycle race. HTupolev

Yikes, that's horrible. Prayers all around.

Dang! Sorry your daughter has to start out her college life with that on her mind. I'm sure it is tough for you and your wife since you can't be there, but she will grow from this.

Thoughts and prayers for your daughter and her roommates.

I remember my first night in a college dorm 20 years ago. We were all slightly hammered and in disbelief after being told the news Princess Diana died. Not exactly my roommates mom, but memorable. Hopefully, with support your daughter will get over it.

Sorry to hear about this, and how sad for the girl that her mom dies as she's coming to bring her back home. It's truly a cosmic kick in the head for her and for all concerned. Unfortunately, as you say, sometimes (heck, many times) life just plain sucks. But you gave your daughter great advice, and as always it's how we deal with life when it's at it's worst that defines us.

On a medical note, cardiac arrest of one sort or another is often associated with sudden-onset nausea. One minute, you're feeling fine, the next you're experiencing nausea and the minute after that you go into arrest. I've seen it many times in the past. One Marine we had in sick call had been nauseous all night, with occasional emesis but no other flu-like symptoms. We run an EKG, which appears normal. Temperature's normal, oriented on all planes, so we release him back to his unit. He steps out of sick bay, has an episode of emesis and hits the ground, going into full cardiac arrest. We couldn't convert him despite our best efforts. He was only 28.

Life really does suck sometimes.

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"Politics is just show business for ugly people."

Just brutal. Healing thoughts for all.

Yep a friend of mine went for a bike ride one morning, cut it short because he felt sick, laid down on the couch to rest, and when his wife came home he had died from cardiac arrest.

Wow, that is horrible, I hope your daughter is dealing with it as best as possible, and that poor girl she must be such a wreck.

I haven't posted it here because it's been shit so I've kinda pulled back from the LR a bit but my father passed away six weeks ago, in his sleep at 60, total shock - he was training for his third Ironman, in fact, best shape of his life. A day after that happened my wife and I found out her pregnancy was a miscarriage. We had a ceremony for my father three days later and two days after that a procedure for the miscarriage. My mothers closest friend, her sister, was with her the whole time despite her 14-year-old family dog passing away, the day of the friggin wake if you can believe it.

Life can really suck, you're right. What I've found in all this, over the past six weeks, is that family and good friends is the most important thing in the world. My mother has a big, amazing family and they've shown us how to grieve our own loss but to be present for my mother, how to deal with the loss but also think about the future and what we can do to make life the best it can be for us, for our mother. My in-laws have proven to be incredible, they've taken our dog for stretches, brought us dinners and took us out a few times, we've spent countless hours sitting with them and talking things through. And I've also seen just who the truly great friends are, the one who'll drive overnight to be at the wake even though he barely knew my dad, or the one who's taken me out to lunch a few times just to hang out and laugh. We've gotten amazing notes from people we're very close with but also people we barely know. In fact my mother got this incredible note from the women at the bike shop that my dad rode with (that's right, he shamelessly rode with women, it's who he could keep up with :) ), mom never met a single one of them but she literally carries that note with her and has shown it to all of us at least once.

All I'd say is that it may not be feasible but I'd consider finding a way to be with your daughter, even if for a day to grab a bite of food and see how she's doing. She just saw something horrible, she's dealing with school and also a friend losing a parent. She might need some real support from family, not just the school. And if you do head out to the school and that poor kid is still out there give her a big hug and ask if she needs anything. Often times a nice word or gesture from a friendly stranger can be the absolute best during a time like this.

I'm so sorry to hear this about your father. My deepest sympathies and condolences, and I'm sure he was a great man. He certainly sounds like he was, judging by the reactions of the people who were his friends and acquaintances. Treasure the time you had with him, for sure.

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"Politics is just show business for ugly people."

I am so sorry for your loss and what you're going through, but happy to hear about the amazing support system surrounding you and your family. I feel so sad for this poor girl losing her mother in this manner. We are trying to help her as best we can and she's with family now. My daughter and her roomies will get through this and my wife or I will head out in a few days to be there. The University seems to be on top of it as well. We have a house where she attends school so they're all at the house for the long weekend while the school sorts out where they can place the girls.

But it's not about my daughter and all I can tell her is that life just sucks sometimes so embrace the good moments. I've been through my share of horrible events but I'm old now so have a different perspective. Thanks for sharing your news.

Yeah, it's tough for your daughter because she's dealing with her own emotions but as you said, it's not about her. She met a friends mother who she then found dead, that has to be such a shock and incredibly tough to deal with but at the same time her friend is going through that AND her mother being dead. Just awful.

One thing that I took from my situation was advice some of the older folks gave us, and something my mother clearly displays: you have to keep moving. Think positive, try to keep perspective and appreciate all the GOOD in life, the good people and great moments, otherwise you give yourself excuses to stop caring and fall into a bad place. You daughter will get a lesson in that, understanding that it's tough for her but she can move on from it and it's more important that she be there for her suitemate and try to help her get through things.

Anyway all the best to your daughter...life gives you a swift kick in the face from time to time but despite the pain, those terrible times give you a true understanding of how precious life is, how important it is that you love people fully because family and friends are the ones that help you get through tough times, and that you have to live like there's no tomorrow because sometimes that really is the case.

Movement is life, and that works on so many levels when it comes to life, believe me.

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"Politics is just show business for ugly people."

The Marine was nauseated. You, sir, are nauseous.

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"Go yell at an M&M"

You just corrected a Navy Corpsman on the use of a medical term. Chances are he will never give you Motrin and foot powder again. You're in the shits now. :)

We had a 28 year old employee die of an aortic aneurism in February. He went into the bathroom at noon and was found about 6:30 in the evening. The camera showed over 100 visits to that bathroom and no one notice him dead in the middle stall. There was a little bit of guilt running around here for a while until I explained it could have happened in my office while I was on the phone with EMS and the outcome would have been the same.

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"...the street finds its own uses for things"

Nice post, sorry about your dad and the miscarriage.

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They constantly try to escape from the darkness outside and within
Dreaming of systems so perfect that no one will need to be good T.S. Eliot

I've not much to add but my assurance that I'm pulling for your daughter and you.

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War is god

That is awful. I agree with Brownie that it is important for you to be there for your daughter where this a tough time for her where she also needs to be there for her friend. I can't imagine going through something like that while still dealing with adjusting to college like.

Brownie, sorry to hear about your dad.

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"You can never win or lose if you don't run the race." - Richard Butler

Wow. That's rough, man. I don't have anything to add beyond what others have said. Just be there for your daughter.

I have stories from my first dorm that are funny now, but kinda sucked at the time. Not anything like this. It sucks that this will be her first memories of college life.

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

While this is tragic, the experience could be something that has a strong positive impact on her as well. It can put things in perspective for a college age person and help them focus on what is important. I'm guessing she has a strong family support structure and will come out a stronger person for having dealt with it.

Sorry to see this. I think that your daughter should be talking to a mental health expert ASAP. That was an experience no college kid should face.

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"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

Thanks, Ken, for catching that. You are correct again. :-)

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"Politics is just show business for ugly people."

No, Ken was right. I should have described it as "nauseated." For some reason, I never could get used to saying it that way so I always wrote it down on the emergency treatment record as "nauseous" or "nauseousness," which if you think about it are both more difficult and definitely incorrect ways of describing the symptom.

At any rate, sudden death just happens sometimes, and an aortic aneurysm would be one of those "sometimes" for sure when that aneurysm finally bursts.

I had an ER doctor I worked with when I used to stand duty there who called it "D.O.T.S. Syndrome." Meaning "Dead On The Spot." People being people, some just drop dead. Death sucks for sure for those around you (because you're quite frankly not going to care, being you're dead and all), but I can think of many other worse ways to go than D.O.T.S.

I think some dispute exists as to cause of death, but didn't Steve Larsen, that former top mountain biker who'd turned pro triathlete and who'd won Ironman Lake Placid back in the day, die suddenly, and probably from a heart attack caused by atherosclerosis (meaning heart disease)?

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"Politics is just show business for ugly people."

I am sorry for the loss of your father. That sucks on so many levels. I am glad that there are many people who have been showing your family their love in so many ways. It sounds like you have many wonderful memories to hang onto.