36 years here, started dating her when she was 15.
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I'll be what I am
A solitary man
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I'll be what I am
A solitary man
Lavender Room
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Re: Dating/Financial Question [aarondb4]
[ In reply to ]
Re: Dating/Financial Question [Koala Bear]
[ In reply to ]
I grew up lower middle class. My mom didn't work and I think my dad topped out at $50k with a ton of overtime. All this with six kids. My wife grew up upper middle class.
There are times you deal with bitterness, like when you are working during Christmas break and all your friends have gone skiing. Or when you friends have gone to Cancun on spring break and you are working. Or when your friends go tot he beach for two weeks in the summer and you are......working.
Thinking back to that time, my wife pitched in occasionally for groceries or dinner. No talks on class struggles, just a little gentle help when I had no funds.
I wouldn't have had it any other way. My past molded me to the person I am today. A hard working mofo that doesn't give up.
_________________________________
I'll be what I am
A solitary man
There are times you deal with bitterness, like when you are working during Christmas break and all your friends have gone skiing. Or when you friends have gone to Cancun on spring break and you are working. Or when your friends go tot he beach for two weeks in the summer and you are......working.
Thinking back to that time, my wife pitched in occasionally for groceries or dinner. No talks on class struggles, just a little gentle help when I had no funds.
I wouldn't have had it any other way. My past molded me to the person I am today. A hard working mofo that doesn't give up.
_________________________________
I'll be what I am
A solitary man
Re: Dating/Financial Question [last tri in 83]
[ In reply to ]
last tri in 83 wrote:
36 years here, started dating her when she was 15.Is that you Mr. Rose?
I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.
Re: Dating/Financial Question [j p o]
[ In reply to ]
?
Re: Dating/Financial Question [last tri in 83]
[ In reply to ]
last tri in 83 wrote:
?Read the Pete Rose thread.
I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.
Re: Dating/Financial Question [last tri in 83]
[ In reply to ]
last tri in 83 wrote:
36 years here, started dating her when she was 15.
Re: Dating/Financial Question [last tri in 83]
[ In reply to ]
last tri in 83 wrote:
36 years here, started dating her when she was 15.and hopefully you were 16?
2x Deca-Ironman World Cup (10 Ironmans in 10 days), 2x Quintuple Ironman World Cup (5 Ironmans in 5 days), Ultraman, Ultra Marathoner, and I once did an Ironman.
Re: Dating/Financial Question [last tri in 83]
[ In reply to ]
When I was 20 something, I started dating this gorgeous girl. Tall, blonde, well spoken, she seemed like the whole package. But as we got to know each other , it came to light that her family was very rich, and she had absolutely no concept of money, or work, or how the two are related. We are talking a 23 year old who has owned a car since she was 16, but couldn't tell you how much her insurance cost. She didn't know how to pump her own gas. Everything, from living expenses, to tuition was put on daddy's credit card. It drove me insane, and I couldn't handle being with someone so clueless. Eventually, I met, by coincidence, a good friend of hers and ended up dating her too... But she was exactly the same. Couldn't stand to be with either of them, despite their looks.
It wasn't the fact that they had a free ride in life and I didn't that bugged me, it was the fact that they were completely ungrateful for it and clueless, and had no desire to be independent from their parents wallet.
Needless to say they both married rich guys and are now stay at home housewives, continuing their happy existence of just getting by on others without ever having to do a damned thing for themselves.
Long Chile was a silly place.
It wasn't the fact that they had a free ride in life and I didn't that bugged me, it was the fact that they were completely ungrateful for it and clueless, and had no desire to be independent from their parents wallet.
Needless to say they both married rich guys and are now stay at home housewives, continuing their happy existence of just getting by on others without ever having to do a damned thing for themselves.
Long Chile was a silly place.
Re: Dating/Financial Question [RangerGress]
[ In reply to ]
Interesting.
A friend of mine was dating a girl in HS. He was a year out and she was a senior. He went into the service and married her so that she could come along on his assignments (or however you say that. He gets stationed somewhere and she comes along and lives with him. Needed to be married to do that.)
They had their ups and downs, bought a house, two children, etc. Anyway, she's bat shit crazy, demanding, treated him like dirt, and did not age well. A few years ago she went on the prowl and eventually cheated on him with the 40 year old virgin guitar player of my band, who was working at a book store and living with his parents at the time.
He could have used some commander guidance at the time.
-----------------------------Baron Von Speedypants
-----------------------------RunTraining articles here:
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/...runtraining;#1612485
A friend of mine was dating a girl in HS. He was a year out and she was a senior. He went into the service and married her so that she could come along on his assignments (or however you say that. He gets stationed somewhere and she comes along and lives with him. Needed to be married to do that.)
They had their ups and downs, bought a house, two children, etc. Anyway, she's bat shit crazy, demanding, treated him like dirt, and did not age well. A few years ago she went on the prowl and eventually cheated on him with the 40 year old virgin guitar player of my band, who was working at a book store and living with his parents at the time.
He could have used some commander guidance at the time.
-----------------------------Baron Von Speedypants
-----------------------------RunTraining articles here:
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/...runtraining;#1612485
Re: Dating/Financial Question [aarondb4]
[ In reply to ]
Ha! Funny shit.
Actually I was almost 17.
_________________________________
I'll be what I am
A solitary man
Actually I was almost 17.
_________________________________
I'll be what I am
A solitary man
Re: Dating/Financial Question [last tri in 83]
[ In reply to ]
last tri in 83 wrote:
I grew up lower middle class. My mom didn't work and I think my dad topped out at $50k with a ton of overtime. All this with six kids. My wife grew up upper middle class. There are times you deal with bitterness, like when you are working during Christmas break and all your friends have gone skiing. Or when you friends have gone to Cancun on spring break and you are working. Or when your friends go tot he beach for two weeks in the summer and you are......working.
Thinking back to that time, my wife pitched in occasionally for groceries or dinner. No talks on class struggles, just a little gentle help when I had no funds.
I wouldn't have had it any other way. My past molded me to the person I am today. A hard working mofo that doesn't give up.
And it was all really damned fun. It turned me into a relatively self-disciplined bundle of hilarity with an obsession re. personal responsibility. When a person looks back at their greatest times, austerity won't be a downer, it will be part of the punch line to the great story of the moment. Hell, a college roommate and I would occasionally double-date on dollar movie night. We'd insist that the dates each bring $2. But we wouldn't tell them why until we actually got to the theater. For you Packer fans, that roommate is now the chief of police in Green Bay.
BarryP wrote:
A friend of mine was dating a girl in HS. He was a year out and she was a senior. He went into the service and married her so that she could come along on his assignments (or however you say that. He gets stationed somewhere and she comes along and lives with him. Needed to be married to do that.)
They had their ups and downs, bought a house, two children, etc. Anyway, she's bat shit crazy, demanding, treated him like dirt, and did not age well. A few years ago she went on the prowl and eventually cheated on him with the 40 year old virgin guitar player of my band, who was working at a book store and living with his parents at the time.
He could have used some commander guidance at the time.
Books @ Amazon
"If only he had used his genius for niceness, instead of Evil." M. Smart
Re: Dating/Financial Question [Koala Bear]
[ In reply to ]
Koala Bear wrote:
Duffy wrote:
Quote:
People see us and get confused as to why she's with me (and I'd have to agree with them)Then she's with you for your money.
Run away as fast as you can.
I think I misspoke...
I'm definitely outclassed in pretty much every way by her.
And the money that I'm talking about isn't mine, just the fact that I was raised in a house with more affluent parents.
She's after your DAD's money, then
"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin
Re: Dating/Financial Question [last tri in 83]
[ In reply to ]
Quote:
I wouldn't have had it any other way. My past molded me to the person I am today. A hard working mofo that doesn't give up.It is interesting how the different backgrounds play out. My dad's side was solidly working class. He had 11 siblings, not one of which went to college. He worked at the post office after his time in the Army. He did manage to go OCS and become a captain and a helicopter pilot.
Mom's side is a bit different. Her sister was a straight A student and a class officer and got a college degree (consider that this was the early 70s in the deep south). Her dad went to law school. He didn't finish but he did hold a full time white collar job at an insurance company. Her Uncle a doctor, and her grandfather a college professor. Her sister (my aunt) married an immigrant who eventually became the CFO of a hospital pulling in ~$300K a year. Out of 5 children (my cousins) they've got two doctors, two graduate level scientists, and the youngest is a college grad in the Navy who got into, but did not succeed, BUDs. Mom had some learning disabilities that held her back, so she worked as an X-Ray tech. They made about as much as your parents, but with fewer kids.
My wife's father retired as a GS 14 or 15 (I think 15) managing a group of 40 computer engineers. She grew up in a good school district in Bethel Park, described in one TV show as "The Whitest Place on Earth."
Lots of plusses and minuses all around from the varying backgrounds, and no one background is going to define a person, only help mold them.
-----------------------------Baron Von Speedypants
-----------------------------RunTraining articles here:
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/...runtraining;#1612485
Re: Dating/Financial Question [orphious]
[ In reply to ]
orphious wrote:
aarondb4 wrote:
orphious wrote:
Really? My wife and I have been married for 22 years and we started dating in High School and lasted through college.You aren't the norm Mr. 1%'er.
Is the same for my wife's sister and her husband.
Well that settles it! Not just a single lonely example, but TWO (who are related to each other so potentially overlapping biases rather than independently random, but still, TWO). That's some serious data.
"They've done studies, ya know... 60% of the time, it works EVERY time."
Re: Dating/Financial Question [OneGoodLeg]
[ In reply to ]
OneGoodLeg wrote:
orphious wrote:
aarondb4 wrote:
orphious wrote:
Really? My wife and I have been married for 22 years and we started dating in High School and lasted through college.You aren't the norm Mr. 1%'er.
Is the same for my wife's sister and her husband.
Well that settles it! Not just a single lonely example, but TWO (who are related to each other so potentially overlapping biases rather than independently random, but still, TWO). That's some serious data.
Don't be an asshole, asshole. I guess my 2 data points are better than his... none.
Re: Dating/Financial Question [Koala Bear]
[ In reply to ]
First off, money is only one part out someone's life. Does it matter if your parents had a crappy car or a BMW? I think it matters more who had the more supportive parents.
I dated people that had different financial scenario's and at the end of the day, I would always prefer being with people that I had fun with and would smile with.
You both can choose your own path in life and part of that path is money. If your girlfriend wants more money, then she needs to decide how much she wants. Research careers within that range of salary and pick one. Lastly, follow the path that leads to that career. It's really that simple. Doing it is like doing anything else, one day at a time.
Tell your girlfriend I had a car that was a piece of crap when I was your age. It was $150 I bought from a guy at work who bought it from another guy at work. I don't recall the car ever being a point of discussion with my girlfriend either.
My 2 cents
I dated people that had different financial scenario's and at the end of the day, I would always prefer being with people that I had fun with and would smile with.
You both can choose your own path in life and part of that path is money. If your girlfriend wants more money, then she needs to decide how much she wants. Research careers within that range of salary and pick one. Lastly, follow the path that leads to that career. It's really that simple. Doing it is like doing anything else, one day at a time.
Tell your girlfriend I had a car that was a piece of crap when I was your age. It was $150 I bought from a guy at work who bought it from another guy at work. I don't recall the car ever being a point of discussion with my girlfriend either.
My 2 cents
Re: Dating/Financial Question [RangerGress]
[ In reply to ]
RangerGress wrote:
A guy really has to be on their toes when they talk to a girl about the girl's problems. This is because the guy has to keep reminding himself that chicks don't think like guys. You can't surrender to your natural inclination to offer "fix" ideas. You have to force yourself to be perfectly willing to just talk about their problem in a sympathetic tone and don't mentioned solution ideas. You're helping by talking to her about it. Don't try to help by move the conversation to problem fixes unless clearly directed to do so. It took me 35yrs to figure this out. Read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". Carefully and with a highlighter. Then loan it to GF. My point is that the apparent small amount of tension on this issue between you two may be less about her idea that "you don't understand the problem from her perspective" and more about "quit trying to fix. I just want to talk".
Guys are usually fixers. The only reason you bring up a problem to a guy is because you're looking for ideas re. fixing the problem.
Chicks usually aren't like that. Chicks like to talk about the problem. So when a chick "seems" to be bringing you a problem, you CANNOT ASSUME SHE'S ASKING FOR HELP TO FIX IT. She may well just want to talk about it. If so, you're attempts to "fix" the problem will just annoy her. If you can't figure out if she just wants to talk about it, or if she wants solution ideas, ask her. But do so in a way that's not going to make her grind her teeth.
If I had read the book I mentioned above when I was your age, it would have made me so successful with chicks that I'd have died in my 20's from sexual exhaustion. If you have concerns along those lines, don't read the book.
Here's a YouTube video that demonstrates this perfectly:
edit: would help if i read the whole thread....my bad.
Re: Dating/Financial Question [Koala Bear]
[ In reply to ]
Koala Bear wrote:
veganerd wrote:
I grew up poor and my family finally got money when i was 12. Over a few years I went from being super embarrassed of our shitty cars and eating government cheese to having the largest house in the neighborhood and a cabin to go to on the weekends. In my experience, people who grow up with money tend to have absolutely no idea what its like to want or need things that poor people struggle for. It often comes across as being out of touch to people who are currently or have been poor. If you like her, listen to her and try to not be a jackass about it.
Thats the thing. I have no clue what it's like, and I want to talk about it so that I have a little more understanding, and can be more helpful and supportive. I really like her (quite a lot, actually :) ) and I really want to listen and understand, and I would prefer to not be a jackass, and I'm always working on that.
How is that even possible? Were you raised in a bubble?
My suggestion is that you move on. If you marry the girl it will not end well. The fact that you can't even come close to understanding a tiny thing (not being able to afford a new vehicle) because your parents didn't teach you how to manage wealth is enough to doom the relationship. She sounds like a grown up. You either try to understand where she is coming from or end the relationship and find a rich girl to hang with.
Re: Dating/Financial Question [orphious]
[ In reply to ]
orphious wrote:
OneGoodLeg wrote:
orphious wrote:
aarondb4 wrote:
orphious wrote:
Really? My wife and I have been married for 22 years and we started dating in High School and lasted through college.You aren't the norm Mr. 1%'er.
Is the same for my wife's sister and her husband.
Well that settles it! Not just a single lonely example, but TWO (who are related to each other so potentially overlapping biases rather than independently random, but still, TWO). That's some serious data.
Don't be an asshole, asshole. I guess my 2 data points are better than his... none.
Here's an opposing data point for you:
http://www.cbsnews.com/...ect-american-family/
The problem with getting married early, imo, is that men are pigs. Or piglets, maybe.
We take a long time to mature and become a non-pig. Many of us never do. Maybe most of us. Goddamned few of us get to the non-pig level of male development until our 30's. So any chick that marries a guy < age 30 is taking a monstrous risk. Sure, many of us are charismatic and good looking, but until we get into our 30's, 99% of us are children. After that, maybe the ratio goes down to 50%.
If I was a teenage or 20 something chick, I'd be a lesbian.
Marriage doesn't have a big track record of success these days. Getting married as kids, when the girl is only on the cusp of adulthood and the guy is still a decade out, makes the odds of success a helova lot worse. For those kids that made an early marriage work, more power to you, and I salute you for being more mature and better people than most. I'm figuring that's probably how you did it.
Thru my 20's and 30's, I knew of only 2 guys that were non-pig prior to age 30's. They were wonderful guys, wouldn't dream of doing a girl wrong, good looking, smart, hard charging dudes. Sadly, they both got treated like dogshit by girls for quite a while, but the chicks that finally won their hearts in their early 30's really hit the lottery. Only 2 guys. I certainly wasn't one of them. When it came to chicks at that age, I was just as much an evil schemer as the rest of my piggly peer group.
Books @ Amazon
"If only he had used his genius for niceness, instead of Evil." M. Smart
We take a long time to mature and become a non-pig. Many of us never do. Maybe most of us. Goddamned few of us get to the non-pig level of male development until our 30's. So any chick that marries a guy < age 30 is taking a monstrous risk. Sure, many of us are charismatic and good looking, but until we get into our 30's, 99% of us are children. After that, maybe the ratio goes down to 50%.
If I was a teenage or 20 something chick, I'd be a lesbian.
Marriage doesn't have a big track record of success these days. Getting married as kids, when the girl is only on the cusp of adulthood and the guy is still a decade out, makes the odds of success a helova lot worse. For those kids that made an early marriage work, more power to you, and I salute you for being more mature and better people than most. I'm figuring that's probably how you did it.
Thru my 20's and 30's, I knew of only 2 guys that were non-pig prior to age 30's. They were wonderful guys, wouldn't dream of doing a girl wrong, good looking, smart, hard charging dudes. Sadly, they both got treated like dogshit by girls for quite a while, but the chicks that finally won their hearts in their early 30's really hit the lottery. Only 2 guys. I certainly wasn't one of them. When it came to chicks at that age, I was just as much an evil schemer as the rest of my piggly peer group.
Books @ Amazon
"If only he had used his genius for niceness, instead of Evil." M. Smart