nope, not doin' it

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The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody

At least he had a soft, warm place to lay his head when he died.

Actual demi-god? Are you a true believer of the Polynesian Pantheon? Or do you mean the character in the actual legend?

The legend is that he tried to get immortality by getting it on with the Goddes of Death while she was sleeping (roofied her?) - but she awoke and used the Kegel Excesses of Doom to crush him.

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Remember - It's important to be comfortable in your own skin... because it turns out society frowns on wearing other people's

I dated a girl like that in high school. Gymnast.

Hine was sleeping soundly. The flashes of lightning had all ceased. The sunlight had almost passed away and the house lay in quiet gloom. Maui came near to the sleeping goddess. Her large, fish-like mouth was open wide. He put off his clothing and prepared to pass through the ordeal of going to the hidden source of life, to tear it out of the body of its guardian and carry it back with him, to mankind. He stood in all the glory of savage manhood. His body was splendidly marked by the tattoo-bones, and now well oiled shone and sparkled in the last rays of the setting sun.
He leaped through the mouth of the enchanted one and entered her stomach, weapon in band, to take out her heart, the vital principle which he knew had its home somewhere within her being. He found immortality on the other side of death. He turned to come back again into life when suddenly a little bird (the Pata-tai) laughed in a clear, shrill tone, and Great Hine, through whose mouth Maui was passing, awoke. Her sharp, obsidian teeth closed with a snap upon Maui, cutting his body in the center. Thus Maui entered the gates of death, but was unable to return, and death has ever since been victor over rebellious men.

http://www.sacred-texts.com/pac/maui/maui14.htm

well, more like

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I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.

Nice!