Is there a Gentle Sexual Assault from a 1200 lbs Moose?

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The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody

Tee hee

The lesson to this is don't hunt moose. It can come back and get you in the ass, literally.

I love this story. So much justice.

Holy shit this is funny. I feel bad for him but just imagine explaining this... LMAO!!

If that was Blep, he's probably out somewhere smoking a cigarette and reminiscing.

This seems like a repeat to me.

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It doesn't really matter what Phil is saying, the music of his voice is the appropriate soundtrack for a bicycle race. HTupolev

Or enjoying his Canadian style post workout recovery Shake with natural protein. Pretty badass, I'd say.

"While the poor man was lying on his knees, defenseless, the powerful animal began rubbing his massive genitals all over him, mimicking sexual intercourse."

There's no way I tell that story on myself. I'm just washing off the moose jizz and trying to forget about it.

So, was this the moose's feel good gun story of the day?

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War is god

Ok, I hope the guy is alright but this is funny as hell.

"The animal assaulted Mr Larsen for several minutes before ejaculating, and finally leaving him alone."

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TEAM HD
Each day is what you make of it so make it the best day possible.

It worries me that no one has questioned the legitimacy of the story. Based on the 'related stories' beneath;

Boy raised by kangaroos found in Oz

Zookeeper killed while having sex with alligator

Whale remains found in paddock

Chinese billionaire arrested for making fur coat from pandas

15 ton ancient shark captured off Pakistan and, the best one...

Canadian militia vows to protect borders from illegal Americans

We all know Canada doesn't stop anyone at the border!

I'm sure the mythical Mr. Larsen was not harmed by the fantasy moose.

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I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.

I thought it was pretty obvious that it was fake. Actually you got a title wrong. If I recall it was zoo employee while attempting to rape an alligator ;)

There was also a story about a woman eating $30,000 of purina (dog food)

 I will just pretend it was true. I love it when hunters get fucked up by animals.

Anyone else starting to seriously wonder if Forge is actually a moose? Anyone?

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

I knew it was a fake as soon as I saw the moose didn't give a reach-around. Everyone knows a moose always gives a reach-around.

That, and there were a lot of details about what happened to an unconscious guy with nobody around to see it.