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Limiting cell phone/electronics use at home
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My wife and I have been discussing this topic lately. Like most people we spend way too much time on phones/computers/iPads while we are at home. We both agree we need to make a change. We also have two kids, one is 15 and she lives on her phone also a 2 year old, no phone issues with this one yet but she does pick up the tv remote and say hello...so I know we are already rubbing off on her.

We are thinking of having a drop bin or something at the door when we walk in to drop the phones in. Not sure what the rules would be yet or time frame to leave them in there.

Do any of you have any no cell phone/ electronics policy at home? Is so what is it and what kind of impact has it made if any?
Last edited by: SkipG: Feb 13, 17 3:46
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Re: Limiting cell phone/electronics use at home [SkipG] [ In reply to ]
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While we do have rules in place for the two youngest boys - no electronics after 9pm, no electronics during school hours other than online learning (we homeschool), no electronics at dinner table - if things get out of control, there might be one warning. I say might because there are times where I move my foot and hit the switch which controls the power to the modem and router, if I feel they are being disrespectful.

As for the oldest son (17), he doesn't get a warning, because as the oldest, he should know limits at this point. We are not too worried about him, other than staying up late & homework Skyping with his girlfriend, but he will have his cell usage throttled back to 3gb because I need more for business (if he doesn't like it, he can pay the bill).
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Re: Limiting cell phone/electronics use at home [SkipG] [ In reply to ]
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My wife's brother is married and has two daughters around 9 and 11 years of age. We see them maybe once a year at my mother-in-law's house for Christmas or Thanksgiving. When they get to my m-i-l's house, they sit on the couch and put their noses in their ipads or phones. I made the comment to my wife that it really is a waste of time planning our trip so we can meet them as they are more worried with their phones than they are with anything else.

This past summer I was walking through Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. It is a beautiful and scenic park with trails around large rock formations. I noticed one small group of a teenage boy and a couple of girls walking through the park. They had their noses in their phones. They weren't talking to each other or looking at the parks. I'm pretty sure if someone asked them the next day what they thought of the park they'd probably say it was boring.



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Re: Limiting cell phone/electronics use at home [EndlessH2O] [ In reply to ]
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EndlessH2O wrote:
We are not too worried about him, other than staying up late & homework Skyping with his girlfriend,

Homework Skyping? Is that what he tells you they're doing? Would someone care to enlighten this gentleman about what little H2Oh-oh-oh-yeah-baby is up to?
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Re: Limiting cell phone/electronics use at home [mv2005] [ In reply to ]
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mv2005 wrote:
EndlessH2O wrote:
We are not too worried about him, other than staying up late & homework Skyping with his girlfriend,


Homework Skyping? Is that what he tells you they're doing? Would someone care to enlighten this gentleman about what little H2Oh-oh-oh-yeah-baby is up to?

Today's anatomy homework lesson is on the human breast.
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Re: Limiting cell phone/electronics use at home [rick_pcfl] [ In reply to ]
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rick_pcfl wrote:
My wife's brother is married and has two daughters around 9 and 11 years of age. We see them maybe once a year at my mother-in-law's house for Christmas or Thanksgiving. When they get to my m-i-l's house, they sit on the couch and put their noses in their ipads or phones. I made the comment to my wife that it really is a waste of time planning our trip so we can meet them as they are more worried with their phones than they are with anything else.

This past summer I was walking through Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. It is a beautiful and scenic park with trails around large rock formations. I noticed one small group of a teenage boy and a couple of girls walking through the park. They had their noses in their phones. They weren't talking to each other or looking at the parks. I'm pretty sure if someone asked them the next day what they thought of the park they'd probably say it was boring.


They were probably texting one another instead of talking.


_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.
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Re: Limiting cell phone/electronics use at home [SkipG] [ In reply to ]
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We try to do our best to limit electronic use in the home.

For the kids (aged 11&13) Phones are not allowed in their rooms, I have setup a "charging station" and all kids electronics (ipads and iphones) are on that every night from 8:45. though the 11yr old doesn't really use a phone, I gave her a iphone 3gs (lol she isnt happy with it) and it gets no cell data.

I setup up my router to only allow wifi to phones during the day 7am-8:45pm (I locked down the iphones, no internet browsers, no games, no youtube, no installing apps on them and installed social media stuff is locked out of cell data and can only use wifi).

To try and control "electronic" time ie computer/ ipad games/videos etc we have a posted "expectations/rules" ie they get 2 hours a day on weekdays and 3 hours on weekends, but they have conditions to meet to get their times, ie physically active activities they can pick from to earn their second (or third) hour. We can toggle wifi on/off easily with an app on our phones to limit the wifi on iPads. We have slowly gotten to this and we do have slips and we find we revise the "rules and expectation every so often" (between school year and summer). overall it sounds more complicated then it actually is in practice.

With the rules posted we find it works pretty good and haven't heard much complaining (was tough at first).

Now, my wife and I are under no rules, we monitor ourselves as we see fit.

Edit: our goal is to set a precedent now to limit entitlement as they get more into teenage years. We don't want them to feel that they are entitled to have their phones/ipads to do whatever they want whenever they want. Let you know in a few years if its working.
Last edited by: macbain_tri: Feb 13, 17 8:14
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Re: Limiting cell phone/electronics use at home [SkipG] [ In reply to ]
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Having helped raise 4 teenagers, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself first

1. What problem am I trying to solve? Too much screen time gets kicked around a lot these days. And it can be a bad thing if the child becomes obsessed or encourages bad behavior (not doing chores, drop in grades). On the other hand, if it isn't creating an issue, what is the problem?
2. Am I willing to mimic the same behavior? I don't subscribe to the my house, my rules approach to parenting. If I expect a kid to not be screen addicted, am I participating in the same behavior I want them to change? Most often the answer is yes and parents don't want to change. They pay the bills so they make the rules. I just don't find that respectful and hope that any of my kids look to me to model the behavior I want to see in them.
3. Why does it bother you? The answer I most of hear is 'it just does.' Times are changing and access to smaller, more powerful technology is doubling or tripling each year. The average house has so many devices it isn't funny. I am not saying give up, but sometimes parenting isn't understanding where a child is on the ever changing continuum. For instance, it drives me crazy that my kids can have their phone on them in school. But that is the school's issue, I don't like it because it isn't my reference for school.


Couple options to implement a device free/regulated home:


1. Self-regulation. You sit down with family members and create a plan. For instance, maybe they can only use them between 6-8 pm. At 8 pm, they go on the kitchen table. You create boundaries--not during dinner, only for homework, access to certain apps. But as mentioned above, do you sit in front of the tv from 8-10 pm, playing angry birds while watching netflix? Are you willing to change
2. Install Disney Circle. Costs about $100 and it lets you create and monitor the time they spend on a device. Don't think they should spend all 2 hours on youtube? You can allocate only 30 minutes. Don't want them on snapchat, you can block it. This requires you to be active about parenting.
3. Technology detox. We did this from time to time. One day a week each summer was cordless day. No devices. Read a book, work on your hobby, etc. Again, you need to be prepared to be an active parent because they will look to you to lead game night, take them somewhere. And are you wiling to put down the device>

We've had different levels of success in these areas. At the end of the day, each kid is different and a blanket policy hasn't worked. My 15 year old stays up playing video games until 11 pm. Do I like it? Not at all. But he gets up each morning on time, is ready to go and makes A's & B's. Why should he be restricted? My 14 year old, watches youtube and became very unsocial and we experience behavioral problems. She can't take her ipod to her room past 8. Not sure it will work, time will tell.
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Re: Limiting cell phone/electronics use at home [EndlessH2O] [ In reply to ]
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EndlessH2O wrote:

As for the oldest son (17), he doesn't get a warning, because as the oldest, he should know limits at this point. We are not too worried about him, other than staying up late & homework Skyping with his girlfriend,

Yeah, he's totally doing "homework" on skype with her. Definitely.

How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?
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Re: Limiting cell phone/electronics use at home [SkipG] [ In reply to ]
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SkipG wrote:
My wife and I have been discussing this topic lately. Like most people we spend way too much time on phones/computers/iPads while we are at home. We both agree we need to make a change. We also have two kids, one is 15 and she lives on her phone also a 2 year old, no phone issues with this one yet but she does pick up the tv remote and say hello...so I know we are already rubbing off on her.

We are thinking of having a drop bin or something at the door when we walk in to drop the phones in. Not sure what the rules would be yet or time frame to leave them in there.

Do any of you have any no cell phone/ electronics policy at home? Is so what is it and what kind of impact has it made if any?

I have a 15YO daughter and an 18YO son. The daughter would text her friends continuously if we let her and my son would play games online continuously if we let him. So, we had to set some limits. So far, it has worked reasonably well to make it a rule that phones and/or iPods that can be used online must be placed in a tray in our kitchen. As in most houses, just about everyone is in and out of the kitchen and it's the most public area of our house. I told them they can use their phone while it is in the kitchen, but that's where they have to use it. This policy is in place from 6PM until the next morning Sunday thru Thursday. They are free to use them as much as they want the rest of the time provided they keep up their A/B grades. We do let them take their phones when they go to dance class, swimming practice, and play practice. They can take them to school, but they have to stay in their locker unless there is an emergency (school policy).

So far, so good. They don't like using their phones out in 'public' in the kitchen for social texting, but they don't hesitate if they need to get some school related information from a classmate. I am okay with that, of course. Regarding the notion of the phones belonging to me and controlling use because I am paying for them, well, I don't have a problem with them perceiving it that way. They both had to sign contracts with my wife and I when we got their phones for them and they willingly signed them. The contracts stated their phones could be repossessed and/or turned off at any time if they couldn't use enough self discipline about proper usage. There is also a clause that says we may ask for their phones at any time along with all passwords for all apps. All phone usage was to be an open book, so don't send any texts that you wouldn't feel comfortable with your parents reading. Period. My son recently downloaded two games onto the Macbood Pro I bought him for school. He had paid $10 for each game from iTunes. I made him delete both of them. His laptop is for school usage only. If I didn't curb his gaming, he would spend waaaaay too much time playing.

Greg

If you are a Canuck that engages in gratuitous bashing of the US, you are probably on my Iggy List. So, save your self a bunch of typing a response unless you also feel the need to gratuitously bash me. If so, have fun.
"Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f___ things up" - Barack Obama, 2020
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Re: Limiting cell phone/electronics use at home [SkipG] [ In reply to ]
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We have tried this and my wife had the biggest withdrawal from it.

We got rid of the television 5+ years ago. That's not part of your question, but it's still an attachment to electronics. Anyway, we didn't have a device drop box. But we did have "digital sabbaticals" which were periods of time where the devices were put away. At dinner, one certain weeknight each week, or limiting usage during a whole weekend. Again, our attempts failed as the drive was too strong with other family members. I honestly think it's a problem. We become zombies. I try to stay away and do a pretty good job of it when I purposely avoid the devices. Best when outside doing some activity. But I do find it a problematic distraction when you are having a conversation with someone and they leave you hanging cold to answer some jingle on their device. It really sends a negative message about the quality of the face to face time. Sad situation.
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