There's a heavy set, middle aged woman at my gym that always has headphones on, resting bitch face (I've never seen her smile or have anything other than this pissed off look on her face), and struts around like the bull dog on the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. She seriously looks like she's about to kick somebody's ass. I assume she is doing it to burn extra calories, sometimes she's on the elliptical doing it, and throwing shadow punches.

At my previous gym/indoor track, there was an older woman [we're talking 75+] who must've gotten some boob work done when she was young. She may have been pretty well-shaped at one time

However, as the rest of her body aged/deteriorated naturally, her boobs remained frighteningly perky ... oh yeah, she had the blonde bouffant wig, too

I nicknamed her "Living Death Barbie"

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

We have a guy that has danced himself to fitness and happiness. He's an older, black gentleman that is always walk/dancing on the treadmill. It was so bizarre the first time I saw him I did a stop take, but now he's just part of the background. Super smooth, always a giant smile on his face. I bet he was a hoot back when disco was king.

This guy?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLfUgXcvq4g

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

A couple years back I was swimming and running at an indoor gym while visiting my inlaws during the cold ass winter. There was some dude walking the indoor track making all sorts of hand and face gestures. I thought he had some sort of weird autism, or Tourette's syndrome. Just made sure that I watched his hands as I passed so he wouldn't hit me. But then I started seeing this more often when I was forced to run indoors. It is people getting into their music. What the fuck is wrong with them?

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"In the world I see you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Towers. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying stripes of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway." T Durden

That's not him. Our guy is much smoother. He always moves forward and just sort of boogies his way along. I wish I had a video. It's awesome.

I've been spotted playing air guitar between sets in the weight room

It happens

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

My personal favorite are the douchebags pulling up the corner of their shirt and sneaking a peak at their abs in the mirrors. Gets me every time.

There is one guy at our gym who I have never seen work out. I think he is a track sprinter, he looks quite fit, but he shows up in track pants and a full on puffy winter jacket with fur lined hood, struts around a bit, does around five minutes of stretching and jumping jacks, then spends the other 45 minutes talking with his bros about how awesome he is and how he gains muscle way too fast.

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Long Chile was a silly place.

Hiding his thinning hair....? Or maybe he thinks people won't recognize him as easily with said cap.

But, anyways, it has been awhile since I've been in the weight room but there is one that stood out to me over the years. It was a young lady (probably in here early 20's) who was doing squats, in the squat rack, on top of an exercise ball...yes, the ball (that spherical shaped thing) and not a Bosu. It was the most impressive balancing act I've ever seen. Plus, it wasn't a trivial amount of weight she was squatting either (iirc it was 115lbs or so...looked like 35lb Olympic plates on there). She looked like she weighed barely more than 120lbs soaking wet.

Can't even begin to fathom how she even got up on there with the bar....let alone perform sets of squats on it.

I recall a guy that was jacked like Flex Wheeler back in the 90s and he would come to the gym wearing dark sunglasses and proceed to fall asleep on all the equipment. You look up and he was asleep on the bench press, then the incline, then the peck deck etc. Just moved around taking naps all day.

Of course, my buddies and I would laugh when we walked by him snoozing but no way you ever ask to work in or wake him up. Guy was a beast and nice guy when awake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKBNR32_N3s

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

What could you possibly get out of that that is worth the high chance of seriously injuring yourself?

Beats the hell out of me. All I know is I wasn't willing to try it back then and sure don't want to try it now either.

That guys is crazy too but he cheated only using a weight probably 1/3 of his own body weight. Never crossed my mind until now to try and even look up youtube vids of the feats of "living dangerously".

You used to belong to Central Penn Fitness Center?

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Brian

Gonna buy a fast car, put on my lead boots, take a long, long drive
I may end up spending all my money, but I'll still be alive

Flex Wheeler! Now that is a name from the past. Haven't heard that one since maybe 99.

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"In the world I see you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Towers. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying stripes of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway." T Durden

hahahaha, nope

You have a "Living Death Barbie" too, I take it?

Could also be a "Zombie Porn Star"

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

I got to thinking about the knit cap phenomenon, and have a theory: If you're gonna wear head wear for whatever reason, a knit cap is least likely to get in the way of movement/cables, etc. That or a bandana type of thingy.

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Travis Rassat
Vector Cycle Works
Noblesville, IN
BikeFit Instructor | FMS | F.I.S.T. | IBFI
Toughman Triathlon Series Ambassador

Bandanna's look stupid. They are like the white man equivalent to a doo rag. The only purpose of a bandana is when riding motorcycle without a helmet (stupid) or open faced helmet. You can even wear it under a helmet while cycling. I used to wear a skull cap when I trained with boxing, but only in my personal setup at home. But otherwise it looks stupid.

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"In the world I see you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Towers. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying stripes of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway." T Durden

Unless you're Little Steven; it kinda works for him

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin