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Need surgery advice from fellow moms
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Back in September, I was enjoying my first post-baby outdoor ride when I was hit by a car. Miraculously, no broken bones despite being hit from behind by a small SUV going 55 miles an hour. I went to the ortho and finally had an MRI done in November that shows a partial tear in my left (non-dominant side) rotator cuff and labrum. I've done 6 weeks of PT but still have moderate pain if I go through the motions of swimming. This week was a ortho follow up and he gave me the option of surgery or trying PT for another 6 weeks. He tells there is a 50/50 shot I might recover with only PT, but surgery is almost a guaranteed recovery back to 100% normal. Problem is, I have a now 5 month old baby and surgery would require me to be in a sling for 6 weeks, then only use the arm for ROM exercises for 6 weeks after. I don't know how I would pick my baby up, load and unload the carseat, etc. when alone. It tears me apart to think I would depend on daily help for 3 months, and its also a logistical nightmare since my husband works late each night and I always pick the baby up from daycare. We do not have family local that could help either.

What would you do in this situation? Have the surgery now and hire someone to help me pick the baby up and get him home each day? Do only PT and deal with the results, healed or not? Right now, I'm doing 6 weeks more PT with the option to have surgery if it gets worse or does not improve. I can do practically everything but swim and lift heavy weights, but would love to return to competition one day. I could always delay surgery a year but my window of getting it covered by the driver's insurance will probably be closed.

Anyone had a similar surgery that could share your recovery experience?
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Re: Need surgery advice from fellow moms [avmartin] [ In reply to ]
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My husband had shoulder surgery (from a car-car accident) when our son was 6 months old. I had to do everything. He couldn't be alone with our son for months (because he couldn't pick him up, carry him, change diapers, feed, etc). His recovery was long & hard and he was in pain for a long time.

Your surgery will hopefully go better, but don't expect to do any lifting/carrying for a while. You will need either family or friend or a paid person to get you through. Any chance insurance would help with those costs??
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Re: Need surgery advice from fellow moms [edbikebabe] [ In reply to ]
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I hope the driver's insurance would cover all of it but looks like we are headed towards a lawsuit. Even if I have help, I'm not sure I can mentally handle the separation from my baby. Another part of the problem is that I'm still nursing and planned to until the baby is a year old. How the heck could I do that or even hook up a pump with one arm?! UGH! I get more and more frustrated the more I think about it!
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Re: Need surgery advice from fellow moms [avmartin] [ In reply to ]
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I'm sorry. I don't want to be a Debbie downer, but it sounds like you have a pretty good grasp of the situation.

Not sure where you are, but here in Canada, insurance is responsible for a year & then you have to sue for anything else. My husband's accident was in April 2011 and there is a chance the lawsuit might be settled this spring.

Good luck with your decision. I think talking to a lawyer and finding out where/how/who would pay for stuff might help with the decision. For my husband surgery was the only option, he couldn't work & was in constant pain. Sounds like yours is important but not currently disabling. I'm sure that adds complication to choosing a course of action.
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Re: Need surgery advice from fellow moms [avmartin] [ In reply to ]
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Sorry you're going through this! Are you in the US? One thing I would suggest is talking to a lawyer to see what the time frame is for having your expenses included in your claim against the driver. In Texas, you have 2 years to file a lawsuit, so even if you still hope to settle, you can file just to keep that option open. Most lawyers will give a free consultation, but if you retain them, they get a % of your award (I think it's 30% or maybe 1/3 if you settle, and more if you have to go to court). It was worth it to me just because I was stressed and hurting and just couldn't handle one more thing at the time.

Another consideration is that at least in Texas, the driver's auto insurance won't pay for any medical expenses until you settle, after which you can't make any additional claims. I was fortunate that my health insurance agreed to cover my expenses, although they filed for the right to recover their expenses from any settlement that I get. I've still had to cover the deductibles and co-payments, and I'm very grateful that I have a flexible spending account. Right now, I'm 2.5 years into treatment with 1 surgery and probably close to 2 years of PT for the various injuries (not just the shoulder). One more thing is to see if you have uninsured/underinsured motorist coverage on your car insurance policy if the driver's insurance doesn't cover your expenses.

As for the surgery, after my first accident I did therapy for my right shoulder (torn labrum, detached biceps tendon, AC joint damage) for about 6 months first, and the second time (left shoulder, torn labrum and AC joint damage) I waited about 18 months because I was dealing with concussion symptoms that were overwhelming. But when I looked at the bigger picture, I didn't want to have any regrets if I didn't do everything I could to recover as much as possible. I'm older than you - I was 48 for the first surgery and 54 the second time, and the prognosis is better for younger women. My right shoulder is close to 100% (it took about a year), and my left is probably about 80% after a little more than a year. One key is to find the best surgeon, and then just as important, the best physical therapist, and do what he/she says.

It seems that one option would be to wait at least until you're no longer nursing your baby. Do you have neighbors, church friends, or anyone who could help? I'd guess that someone at daycare could get him into the car for you. Maybe there's a young teen who could be a mother's helper and get him out of the car and help until your husband gets home??

Best of luck,
Diane
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Re: Need surgery advice from fellow moms [mdiane630] [ In reply to ]
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I'm sorry to hear about your long recovery but it sounds like it's all worked out for the better. I am in Louisiana and I have already obtained a lawyer. We filed the lawsuit last week but last I spoke with the lawyer, I was just beginning to digest my options on surgery or not. I really do not want to regret not having the surgery but I feel selfish because I can function just fine now, but the surgery will get me back to eventually being able to race. I will go back and see what he says about waiting, and I'll also contact my insurance to see if they have any flexibility. They have been kicking all the claims to a third party company so far. I do have friends that could help, but I hate asking daily, and it would be require quite a commitment since I'll be helpless if left alone with a 5 month old. The best bet would be your suggestion of a trustworthy neighborhood student that could help me for an hour or two everyday. Thanks for your insight!
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